BURKARD'S BLOG
I searched on the Internet months ago, and found no one keeping a blog about events in Columbus, Georgia. So being the hip web-savvy guy that I am, I decided to start a blog of my own - chronicling happenings in the town I've called home for some six years, as well as my experiences in it.
But be warned.... I used to have a humor service called LaughLine.Com, so my views may be a bit amusing. And the views are my own; no one has paid me to present theirs. Pressured, yes - but paid, no.
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26 SEP 03: NEW NAME, OLD GAME
The new, improved "Festival at South Commons" opened Thursday evening at the spot of the old "Greater Columbus Fair." So where's the official mascot of the event - a weird-looking creature called "Festive Al?"
Your blogger was first to report about the name being changed from a fair to a festival. [29 Jul] Remember what the Civic Center's spokeswoman said - about no agriculture? So why did they bring in racing pigs, and a park with giraffes?
Greg Hudgison with the Columbus Consolidated Government assured a morning TV interviewer some things have NOT changed, at the new Festival at South Commons. "The foot-long hot dogs are still there," he announced. That's strange - since you'd think the sponsoring Columbus Exchange Club might BE exchanged for something else.
The Midway is also back at South Commons for the festival. I'm not sure what to think about that. A former Pastor of mine said his wife loved roller coasters - but my current Pastor talks them down so often as risky and harmful, I'm starting to think they're sin.
One of the new items at the first Festival at South Commons is a "Wing Fling" on Saturday. For those of you who haven't heard - this does NOT mean you can win a date with a Cottonmouth hockey player.
One of the bigwigs at the Festival at South Commons has challenged Columbus Councilor Glenn Davis to a "bobbing for chicken wings" contest at the Wing Fling. Truly Davis is turning into a politician - going into a challenge, wide-open mouth first.
The Festival at South Commons is trying to bring in famous musical acts. Saturday night's schedule includes a Civic Center concert by Foreigner - which in this day and age is sure to bring a boycott by military veterans.
Next week's Festival agenda includes open auditions for the CBS reality series "The Amazing Race." Remember, this is a pairs' competition. Come by yourself, and the producers might team you with Brian Sharpe.
(The production crew moves on from there - and next Thursday will look for "Amazing Race' contestants at King Ford in Valley. You'd think they'd simply take Frank and Bubba from the King Ford commercials, without looking for anybody else.)
The Festival at South Commons happened to open on the same night as the RiverCenter's "premier series" concert season. The opening show featured Wynton Marsalis and a jazz orchestra. This wouldn't work at the Festival, of course - unless maybe Marsalis played a banjo, or started rapping.
(And another thing: why did the RiverCenter staff bring Wynton Marsalis to town in the first place? Don't they realize he misspelled the "Wynnton Road" name?)
In another strange bit of timing, the Festival at South Commons opened as NASCAR driver Kevin Harvick made a guest appearance at Bill Heard Chevrolet. Why not have Harvick on the Festival Midway? It's just about as loud as a racetrack....
Before the Festival opened, crews were busy at Benning Hills Park. They built a new children's playground in less than a day! We need to hire these people to build those unfinished Muscogee County schools.
The Benning Hills Park addition is described by developers as a "passive playground." It's a WHAT? Does this mean children sit around, complaining about how bored they are?
(This is the very problem our country faces today! Children are growing more obese - and people build passive playgrounds, instead of active ones.)
The Benning Hills playground was organized by an agency in Washington with the curious name, "KaBoom." How much do you think that place has been investigated, after the September 11th attacks?
Believe it or not, the name "KaBoom" brings back fond memories for me. During my years at CNN Headline News, I worked with the late and great anchor Don Harrison. Some mornings he'd press the microphone "cough switch" when an explosion appeared on the air during a newscast - and yell, "Ka-BOOOOOM!" It was a surefire way to wake up the newsroom.
Previewing other things on the agenda for this weekend:
+ Plains, Georgia will hold its annual "Peanut Festival" - and former President Jimmy Carter reportedly will be there to play softball. As old as he's getting, I assume this will be SUPER-slow pitch.
+ Cusseta Road Elementary is having a parade today, marking the school's 50th birthday. Given the school's recent test scores, what slogan can we use here - "last then, last now?"
+ Sunset tonight marks "Rosh Hashanah," the Jewish New Year. Some Christians mark the holy day as the "Feast of Trumpets." That reminds me - I need to buy some Bugles snacks for church this weekend....