Thursday, September 04, 2003

BURKARD'S BLOG






I searched on the Internet months ago, and found no one keeping a blog about events in Columbus, Georgia. (Well, other than a 15-year-old high school student, and who knows how much he pays attention to the news?) So being the hip web-savvy guy that I am, I decided to start a blog of my own - chronicling happenings in the town I've called home for six years, as well as my experiences in it.



But be warned.... I used to have a humor service called LaughLine.Com, so my views may be a bit amusing. And the views are my own; no one has paid me to present theirs. Pressured, yes - but paid, no.



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4 SEP 03: A LITTLE LESS BREAD



We paid a visit Wednesday afternoon to the place with the lowest gasoline price in Columbus. Amazingly, it's a bread store! It almost makes you wish someone invented a propane-fired toaster.



The Dolly Madison bakery outlet on Victory Drive normally has gas prices lower than anyplace else in Columbus. This has to frustrate the big oil companies - since it apparently pays off the OPEC countries with Twinkies and cup cakes.



So how does Dolly Madison keep its gas price so low? The best guess I can make is this: the outlet store does NOT accept debit or credit cards. It's still accepting personal checks, though - so maybe it makes the extra money from bounced-check fees.



Since the Dolly Madison outlet is next to the bakery, it's still first and foremost a bread store. Trouble is, the bread shelves were quite empty when I stopped by Wednesday. Instead of whole wheat, there was simply a hole.



(I could have bought "Wonder Family Wheat" bread, but I didn't. The church I attend has something against that brand name. About 20 years ago, a Pastor declared during a Bible study: "The Wonder is that it's bread....")



The bakery outlet store on Victory Drive sometimes stocks a surprise or two. The donut shelf happened to have boxes with a Kroger label - which made me feel good, knowing I'm not the only one in Columbus making those runs to Opelika.



I tend to avoid the Twinkies, fruit pies and other products with Dolly Madison brand names at the outlet store. It's because they're made with beef fat. If I want that artery-clogging extra, I'll head to McDonald's - and order large fries.



BLOG UPDATE: While I was out, I finally picked up the first ten compact discs of my album. The man who runs the recording studio has been out of town for days - either on vacation, searching for new talent, or running from a group of rappers.



(So who should get these first ten CD's, which have NO box cover on them? My family's getting a few - but I guess it's too late to look up the address of "American Idol.")



SONG OF THE DAY:Habitat for Humanity opened its own university in Americus Wednesday, for training organization leaders. Now it needs a fight song - and with apologies to Michigan's "Hail to the Victors," we're ready to offer one:



Plywood, it is abounding!


Hammers, we are a-pounding!


Here's, here's to Habitat,


The houses they build!



Sweat equity required,


Hours of work perspired -


Here's, here's to Habitat!


You don't have to be skilled!



BREAKING NEWS! And we mean breaking! Hot water heater leak! Details Friday, IF we're able....



© 2003 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.