BURKARD'S BLOG
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12 SEP 03: TRY OUR FREE SAMPLES
I reached into the kitchen pantry Wednesday evening, and was shocked - SHOCKED! - by what I found. A box of crackers I'd purchased last week was already unsealed, reclosed, and had more than half the crackers in the top package missing! I never realized the cockroaches in my apartment were such neatness freaks....
This tampered box of "butter smooth" crackers came from the Wal-Mart SuperCenter in Phenix City - the same place that lost my roll of film earlier in the year. Is this store employing sneaky terrorists? Should the photos of employees in Wal-Mart ads also appear on wanted posters?
(If someone who breaks into a safe is a "safe cracker," was what happened to me done by a "cracker cracker?")
This cracker-cracking discovery came only hours before Patriot Day, marking the anniversary of the 9/11 terror attack. It's a good thing our lives have calmed down since then - because I came close to calling police, and having them check the box for anthrax and fingerprints.
But that's not all! I developed a bit of a cold Thursday, after eating some of the crackers from an unopened package. If any of you have Cipro prescriptions about to expire, please write me -- I may need them.
I can only guess as to what happened to that missing half-pack of crackers. Perhaps a Wal-Mart employee sneaks down the snack aisle for something to eat during work time. It's yet another reason why Sam's Club needs to share its "free sample" food tables with surrounding stores.
Let's see what else has been happening this week, which we both probably have overlooked:
+ A 61-year-old Columbus man was convicted of molesting a teenage girl he met at a Baptist church. This is truly sick and sad -- and shows why there's a time and a place to lock the prayer closets from outside.
(What are churches going to have to do - require ID cards to get inside singles Bible studies?)
+ Phenix City Councilor Gail Brantley encouraged residents to clean up their yards, and "take some pride in their community." There's only one problem with that. It's PHENIX CITY! The only thing to make people proud for years has been the Little League baseball team - and people bickered back and forth about that.
+ Alabama Governor Bob Riley quipped at least his mail against Amendment One hasn't been as negative as Coach Tommy Tuberville's at Auburn. This again proves an old point about the South - taxes are only money, football is everything.
(Remember Bob Riley's campaign ads last fall, promising "heroic leadership" for Alabama? It appears voters don't want that in Montgomery - they want it standing behind the center in Tuscaloosa.)
COMING THIS WEEKEND: A remembrance service that many seemed to forget....