BURKARD'S BLOG
I searched on the Internet months ago, and found no one keeping a blog about events in Columbus, Georgia. (Well, other than a 15-year-old high school student, and who knows how much he pays attention to the news?) So being the hip web-savvy guy that I am, I decided to start a blog of my own - chronicling happenings in the town I've called home for six years, as well as my experiences in it.
But be warned.... I used to have a humor service called LaughLine.Com, so my views may be a bit amusing. And the views are my own; no one has paid me to present theirs. Pressured, yes - but paid, no.
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2 SEP 03: IT'S A GIVEAWAY
Here's hoping you had a nice Labor Day. I'm on the job all week long - so for me, today is "Labor Some More Day."
It wouldn't be Labor Day without several traditional things. People cooking outside on the grill, the Muscular Dystrophy Telethon - and of course, the displays of Halloween costumes in stores.
I went to Eckerd Drugs on Macon Road Monday afternoon, and the Halloween displays of candy and costumes were already there. Really, now - how many people buy Halloween costumes during the first week of September? Unless, maybe, the back-to-school clothes already were ripped on the playground?
Eckerd apparently made a big mistake with its advertising flyer this week. Some of the coupons were supposed to say "limit one offer per customer" - but instead they say limit TEN! At that rate, Eckerd might as well have donated cases of food to a homeless shelter.
Some of the Eckerd coupons were quite good, though. Free granola bars! Free cans of Vanilla Pepsi!! Three cans of tuna for the price of one!!! And then people wonder why prescription drugs are so expensive.
I'm sorry to say this, but the Eckerd on Macon Road looked quite dissheleved and messy when I stopped by Monday afternoon. This was Labor Day, after all - so no Pacelli High School students would have stopped after school to overrun the place.
It's hard to mark Labor Day without running into the Muscular Dystrophy Telethon. This year there were NO firefighters along my drive, holding out boots to fill -- and giving beggars an excuse to do the same thing for the next six months.
I even turned on the "Deutsche Bank Championship" golf tournament on ABC Monday afternoon - and there was Jerry Lewis during commercial breaks, asking for M.D.A. donations! Doesn't he realize if I'm watching golf on a holiday, I might be trying to avoid him?
Instant message to WRBL: Why did you start your 11:00 p.m. Sunday newscast by saying, "The M.D.A. Telethon is officially underway" - but your station didn't join the telethon until 8:00 a.m. Monday? Do you WANT me to turn the dial to WGN, to make a pledge?
It's been a curious tradition for several years that WRBL doesn't start the M.D.A. Telethon until 8:00 a.m. on Labor Day - almost 12 hours after the national telecast begins. It only reinforces Columbus's reputation as a sleepy Southern town.
(And besides: if Jerry Lewis can stay up 20 hours raising money in the condition he's in, you'd think Jack Rodgers and Teresa Whitaker could do it.)
No matter where I've lived, it's been striking to see TV news teams urging you to give to the Muscular Dystrophy Telethon on Labor Day. For 24 hours, the begging is blatant - while during rating months, they have to be more subtle about it.
(Come to think of it, it's a good experience for the newscasters and weather forecasters to do this. They might need to work in public television someday.)
I cared about the Muscular Dystrophy Telethon when I was a boy, and I appreciate Jerry Lewis's dedication to it. But I confess I don't give to M.D.A. anymore. After all, we've supposedly been SO CLOSE to a cure for some 20 years - and yet despite all the money, the answer remains as elusive as Nicole Brown Simpson's real killer.
Now for some other discoveries we made over Labor Day weekend:
+ "The Wayne Brady Show" is now airing twice a day -- on TWO different stations. It's added a 2:00 p.m. appearance on Fox-54, which means the chances of pre-emption for a breaking infomercial will go down.
+ TV-16 began showing taped broadcasts of Phenix City Central football games. You can tell it's an all-Alabama team when the sideline reporter says, "Back up to y'all, guys." [True!]
A commercial on Foxie 105-FM announced, "The Boom Boom Room is back!" Back from where? A sting by the Metro Squad, for guns and drugs?
COMING THIS WEEK: That postponed trip to the bank.... and reports of a school dancing scandal....
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© 2003 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.