^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

24 AUG 04: ME FOR MAYOR

From Eufaula to Phenix City to Lanett, new mayors and city council members will be selected across Alabama today. It may be noteworthy that not one candidate has claimed to have served aboard a "swift boat" in Vietnam - or even a slow one.

I've never quite understood why Alabama holds city elections every three years, instead of every four. Are the city politicians 25 percent more corrupt than the state ones?

SPAM-A-RAMA: Why vote for ANY local leader when you can become one yourself? I recently received e-mail with the title, "Be a Mayor and Save." That's easy for THEM to say. They don't have to raise money for a campaign.

The spam offer urged me to "be the first on my block" to become a mayor or steward of my neighborhood. Well, what if I'm second on my block? Can I go to my neighbors and attempt to stage a coup?

The e-mail spam promised all sorts of perks, if I became a mayor or steward of my neighborhood. For instance, I could get discounts on air fare -- a lot like Mayor Poydasheff, I suppose, since the city budget pays for the trips he takes.

So what's going on here? Click on the link in this offer, and you're taken to the National Union of American Families. Founder and President Jesse Epps Sr.'s home-page message says we've all become "victims" of this society, in various ways. So when is he going on "Montel" to talk more about it?

The National Union of American Families says its goal is "building a better nation." To do this, it plans to set up a "local family union in every state legislative district" across the country. I've never traveled there, but I think this is how the Latter-day Saints took control of everything in Utah.

But wait, there's more! In each state legislative district, the N.U.A.F. will have 42 sections -- and each section will have its own chairperson. I get the feeling if you're on the "ground floor" of this group, gerrymandering will be not only expected, but encouraged.

And the set-up of this group doesn't stop there. Each section within the legislative district has a "neighborhood steward.... assigned to advocate for every 20 families." Hey, now this DOES sound familiar! The Communists already have this in Beijing....

I hunted for awhile around the N.U.A.F. web site, and could NOT find anything about becoming a "neighborhood mayor." But you can be a charter member of this union for only $120 per year. Come to think of it, the flow chart for the local
unions IS shaped a bit like a pyramid.

Some parts of the National Union for American Families web site are a bit puzzling. There's a button for "Henderson's Itinerary" - yet whoever Pastor Henderson is, he apparently hasn't traveled at all since March. Maybe some of the 20
families in his neighborhood felt it was time for some power-sharing....

Then there's the "Benefits" option on the N.U.A.F. home page. You're given a list of benefits, including "3.9 cents per minute long distance" and "free unlimited long distance." Perhaps this is the math quiz, to see if you qualify for local
treasurer.

A news release on this web site urges voters to stage "a march on Washington by way of the polls" in November. Well, it beats the approach a number of groups are taking right now - marching by way of the TV and radio station sales
departments.

After mulling it over, this offer didn't quite seem right for me. It's not that I don't dream of becoming Mayor of my block or neighborhood. It's just that Georgia is such a non-Union state....

Now some quick Instant Messages as we close:

+ To Sonny's Bar-B-Q: I personally liked your food - but someone told me you closed your Bradley Park Drive location. In this town full of "Country's," city slicker barbecue apparently is held in suspicion.

+ To the Peppercorn and Rye restaurant on Whittlesey Road: About your sign promising a "home-cooked meal" - why should I have to leave my home to enjoy that?

+ To Mustard Seed Christian Store: I appreciate you selling my CD. But when I saw the coasters you're selling with the words, "make up the rules as you go along" - well, is this how God did it with the Ten Commandments?

+ To Big Lots stores: Halloween items on sale - ALREADY?! You make me long for the school year to start after Labor Day again....

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: We ran out of time to address Monday e-mail, but we'll get to it in days to come....)

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.