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23 AUG 04: SAINTS ELSEWHERE
Something seemed different this weekend as I drove up Weems Road to Moon Road. The sign on the United Methodist church had something new - and it was still too scared to mention the Seventh-Day Adventist Church which has been renting the building on Saturdays.
For some reason, St. John United Methodist Church was out, and St. PETER United Methodist was in. What was going on here? Do the members want to distance themselves from John Kerry this far?
Something was up here, and I simply HAD to know what it was. So around noon Sunday, I drove into the parking lot at St. Peter United Methodist Church. Since the service began at 11:00 a.m., this was perfect timing - since other than South Columbus, these United Methodist Churches tend to watch the clock as they worship.
I asked a woman heading out of the sanctuary about the name change, and she explained what was going on. Sunday was merger day for St. Andrew and St. John United Methodist Churches. So much for the theory that St. Peter's College of
New Jersey bought the church out.
Sure enough, a road sign pointing people to St. John United Methodist was sitting on the ground, leaning against the sanctuary wall. I imagine there are plenty of others with that name, who will help this church make its budget....
Other members of the congregation confirmed this was a church merger - as St. Andrew United Methodist Church along River Road combined with St. John on Moon Road. The congregations voted to make "St. Peter" the new name. Big businesses might have come up with something like Accenture.
(Since most United Methodists believe these saints are in heaven - would Andrew and John be offended by this vote? Would one say to the other, "Jesus DID always like him best"? Would the other say, "Knock it off -- you've got a famous
golf club in Scotland named after you"??)
Seemingly everyone attending the 11:00 a.m. service was wearing name tags. This made it easier for the combined congregations to get to know each other. This also would make it easier for Muscogee County Deputies to show up and make arrests.
Every worshipper I met seemed to like the merger. One woman named Hazel told me she was "almost moved to tears" by the combined service. Well, it WAS sort of like a wedding....
(In fact, the worship bulletin shows the combined congregations read a "covenant with each other" and with Christ. Instead of exchanging rings, I suppose they could swap hymnals.)
Pastor John Stephens offered me some details on the church merger. He says the United Methodist Church came to both congregations in April about possibly combining, but the final decision was up to them. In some denominations, the groups would have been forced to merge - because there was only enough money to pay for one Pastor.
Pastor John Stephens says St. Andrew United Methodist was the larger of the two churches, but lacked room to grow. St. John United Methodist was smaller, but had that room. I'd have to agree with that - since even on this historic Sunday, it
was easy to find a parking space.
The Pastor of St. Peter United Methodist says this was a unique church merger - but he can foresee other situations where churches might merge, for economic or other reasons. Maybe he'll head downtown, and suggest Hal Brady merge St. Luke
United Methodist into Trinity Episcopal.
As I left the newly-merged church, several thoughts sprang to mind about it:
+ Shouldn't this congregation get busy marketing itself - as the "NEW, IMPROVED" St. Peter United Methodist?
+ What about the big portrait in the lobby outside the sanctuary - which claims to show St. John? I suppose that can be fixed easily, by ordering a new nameplate.
+ I went through a church merger in metro Atlanta about ten years ago - and while it started well, trouble soon developed. When leaders of both congregations form a committee to develop a common approach to worship, and you never hear from
them again....
The Methodist merger happened to occur on the weekend that another United Methodist Church in Columbus marked its 30th anniversary. You don't think St. Mark United Methodist on Whitesville Road will rub it in, do you - with lines like, "30 years with the same saint"?
By the way, which "Saint" is the most popular in Columbus? A check of the phone book finds three congregations named after St. James and St. Mary - but St. Mary wins the tiebreaker, because she has a long road and a public school named after
her.
(Of course, you could argue this in a number of ways. After all, St. Elmo has his own neighborhood in the heart of Columbus....)
Now let's let "all the saints who from their labors" rest, and check other items from Sunday:
+ A drive down Victory Drive confirmed "Grits 'n' Sweet Tea" has closed - the restaurant that replaced Denny's during the week of Riverfest in April. Maybe next time, they should make the grits with milk.
(Why can't South Columbus support restaurants such as this? The biscuits at Burger King can't be THAT addictive....)
+ Country's Barbecue at 14th and Broadway was evacuated, after a fire filled the dining room with smoke. Firefighters suspect there was too much grease and fat in a barbecue pit -and we don't even want to think about the customers' bodies.
+ CNN visited a "Single Focus" Bible study group -- which meets every week at a metro Atlanta Hooters restaurant! Hasn't this group ever heard of the verse about "lead us not into temptation?"
+ The "Bishop Bishop" religious broadcast on TV-66 showed the preacher proclaiming, "I bought a new truck, and I paid 12 payments at a time.... I didn't want to be aggravated this year." There's nothing like a tithe-paying congregation to improve the Pastor's credit score.
BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $1.73 a gallon at Coastal on Airport Thruway.... milk for $1.25 a half-gallon at Publix.... men's sport shirts for $6.99 at Goody's (though I heard someone talk about driving stuff to Goodwill)....
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