Wednesday, May 20, 2009

20 MAY 09: WAIT - Your Turn



Uh-oh - be warned right now. We're talking about a delicate topic today, which might not be for all members of the family. And no, we're not going back to the debate about whether President Franklin Roosevelt was really a socialist....



We're talking about.... uh, well.... about something I've never really done. I think it's what the guy in the old Monty Python sketch meant when he asked: "Have you, you know - done it?.... Nudge nudge, say no more." At some Southern churches, I still think the discussion of the topic stops at that level.



OK, enough of this tip-toeing - the Muscogee County School Board has approved a new abstinence curriculum for ninth-graders. Students will be taught to abstain until they're married. Only then can you make a wise yes-or-no vote on a local referendum, like the one-percent school sales tax.



No, hold on -- this is about teaching ninth-graders abstinence from (ahem) serious lovemaking. After all, you can't star in a remake of "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" if you're disqualified at 14.



The New Horizons Community Service Board has developed this ninth-grade abstinence program. Isn't this a surprise? "New Horizons" is promoting something that's considered quite old-fashioned in 2009....



Yes, this abstinence instruction comes from the same New Horizons which works with substance abuse and mental health cases. So the staff must agree with that Robert Palmer rock song - "Might as well face it, you're addicted to love."



The ninth-grade abstinence curriculum is called the WAIT Training program. If the letters in WAIT are an acronym for something, I couldn't find it Tuesday night. I think the first two letters might stand for "Why Abstinence." I'm guessing the last two could be, "Internalized Tube-Tying."



The WAIT Training program has three main goals for ninth-graders to accept. One involves abstinence from, you know, doing it. The other two are to graduate from high school and avoid teenage marriage. Hmmmm - come to think of it, all three involve abstinence. Abstaining from doing something stupid....



A short video on the WAIT Training web site says if teenagers practice abstinence, the number of teen alcoholism cases will drop. I never realized there was a connection there - that high school students who keep their clothes on are more likely to drink soda.



New Horizons executives add abstinence also has financial benefits. High school students can save for a sports car at graduation, or spend money on a baby's toy car now.



The Muscogee County Schools will introduce WAIT Training in ninth-grade health classes over the next four years. This simply follows the instruction teens have received about this topic for decades - to take it slow.



The abstinence education program will mention contraceptives, but in a different way from usual health classes. Students will be told about the failure rates of items such as condoms. By comparison, abstinence programs in religious schools might teach about how you'll fail to have a high-ranking church office.



I see nothing wrong with the WAIT Training program - but I wonder if ninth-grade is a little late to be teaching it. When I was in high school, a guest speaker stunned our Sociology class by revealing she had helped a pregnant girl who was only five. No one asked what the male's age was - but I wouldn't be surprised if that man is under a state "1,000-foot" rule now.



Regular blog readers may recall one of our livelier discussions here - when I revealed in 2005 I've practiced abstinence throughout my life [21 Aug 05]. I still do that today. And sure enough, I've reaped financial benefits - such as not spending twice the money at restaurants, buying dinners for dates.



-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <--



BLOG UPDATE: We may now know why Phenix City's Mayor skipped last week's town hall forum in a church. Several Council members indicated publicly Tuesday they simply don't like the guy. Sonny Coulter may be polite enough to avoid going where he's not wanted.



The Phenix City Council's honeymoon ended, with a vote to end a land dispute involving the Riverchase Drive interchange at U.S. 80. A pending court case will be settled, with developer Michael Bowden receiving $2 million. That may sound like a lot, but remember -- that's $500,000 below Tommy Bowden's buyout to quit coaching Clemson's football team.



The 3-2 vote revealed a clear divide on the Phenix City Council. African-American Councilors Arthur Sumbry and Michelle Walker voted for the settlement. Caucasian-American Councilor Max Wilkes and Mayor Sonny Coulter voted against it. And Jimmy Wetzel's tie-breaking vote to settle could put him in the running for a "Profile in Courage" award.



Mayor Sonny Coulter complained he was NOT told in advance about the proposed settlement. In fact, he said the deal "reeks of corruption." And since this is the mayor who arranged a public 50th-anniversary showing of the movie "The Phenix City Story," he ought to know.



The Phenix City mayor complained to City Attorney Jimmy Graham about the proposed settlement. Graham wondered why Sonny Coulter was so upset with him. After all, if the mayor doesn't have a Twitter account by now....



Councilor Jimmy Wetzel responded by accusing the Phenix City Mayor of "lies and backstabbing." I'm not sure what he means by that - but this is sounding like a cool special event for Great Championship Wrestling.



Jimmy Wetzel said it's Mayor Sonny Coulter's fault, if he didn't know about the legal settlement. In Wetzel's words: "He needs to come to the office more." Well, yeah - if you're going to vote yourself a raise, earn the extra money.



(Mayor Sonny Coulter told a reporter later in response: "I am in the office nearly every day...." Translation: pick up the mail on your way to lunch.)



Councilor Michelle Walker said she felt offended by Sonny Coulter's corruption comment. If he keeps making public remarks like this, Walker might take him to the Tyra Banks Show....



Somewhere amidst the finger-pointing, a new Phenix City Police Chief was named Tuesday. The City Manager gave the job to no-longer-interim Chief Ray Smith. If he could keep his composure during the heated Council debate, he might be the right person for the job.



Tuesday's fireworks happened a few days after we received yet another snail-mail letter from the "13th Street Businessperson." Well, check that - he/she now signs letters as "Southside Informant," after one signing as "Concerned From the North End of Town." I'm starting to wonder if this person runs a taxi service.



The latest letter has several points and questions. One claims "the citizens of north Phenix City now complain that they have no 'effective and knowledgeable representation.'" Hmmm - so now they actually WANT someone to "loiter" around City Hall all day.



The letter also asks for the city to "identify those bonds and warrants that were refinanced" in February. I probably was given the answer, but my old-style cassette recorder stopped working after last week's town hall and I couldn't hastily write down the detailed explanation. Our writer could ask Finance Director Stephen Smith for details - maybe by visiting City Hall wearing a trench coat and sunglasses.



But that's not all from Phenix City. The chair of the Downtown Redevelopment Authority told the Ledger-Enquirer Tuesday he believes the Phenixian condominium project still is on. But at this point, the only thing downtown that's "high-rising" is the volume of City Council complaints.



After all of this excitement, we only have a few news items left to clean up....


+ The Opelika-Auburn News reported on a new complaint from Auburn City Councilor Arthur Dowdell. He's hinting he might file suit to ensure a second African-American Council member. And if I was President Obama, I'd take a lot of extra care with that Supreme Court opening.



+ The "Ten Tenors" performed at the RiverCenter. Wow, the people who warned of hyperinflation must be right - because I can remember when only three were enough.



+ Columbus High School advanced to the state baseball semifinals, by shutting out St. Pius X of Atlanta twice. It's a score local baseball lovers could appreciate: X-0 X-0.



(Meanwhile, defending state Class A champion Pacelli was eliminated by Landmark Christian - so it was the worst day for Georgia Catholics since that Atlanta archbishop ran off with a female lover years ago.)



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