28 SEP 08: BEGIN THE BEG-UINE
If the U.S. economy really is at the edge of a cliff, we probably should expect more of it. With so many local companies cutting jobs in September, we probably should expect more of it. In fact, some of this fall's fund-raising walks for health causes might want to get ready - because beggars might show up and claim they're going to die first.
BLOGGER BEGGAR #9 (for 2008) was the first of two people to cross my path in 24 hours. Thursday's location was one which is all too familiar - my usual coin laundry on South Lumpkin Road. At least one of the driers makes up for them, by working double-time for a quarter.
"Can I have a dime?" a young man said as I loaded clothes in the washers.
"Can you have a diamond?!" I thought he said, and repeated it that way - wondering if gold teeth in that part of town might not be trendy anymore.
I don't take diamonds to laundromats (or anywhere else, for that matter) - but the young man really needed a dime. He wanted a can of soda from a vending machine, but I was admittedly skeptical.
"Do I get a share of it?" I asked. My investment would be about 22 percent of this drink. But the beggar seemed too young to understand the financial aspects of partnerships.
The young man nodded, like I could share the soda with him. So I walked to the vending machine, put in my one thin dime - and nothing happened. None of the buttons worked. Not even the coin return. At least at a casino, some numbers would spin and whir.
The young man reached under the hole where the soda was supposed to come out. But that accomplished nothing. He didn't beat on the machine very much. And the martial arts studio down the sidewalk wasn't open, to recruit any good kickers.
"Since the dime didn't work, I don't see a need to give you anything more." So the young man walked out, looking for another place to find a soda - well, along with someone else with deeper pockets....
Since the coin return didn't work, someone from the vending machine company wins a ten-cent bonus from me. Not that those "tips" have helped keep soda and snack prices down lately....
BLOGGER BEGGAR #10 went walking with a cane into the Walgreens store on Wynnton Road Friday. I saw her walking, as I waited for the traffic light to change at 13th Street. But I didn't know she was a beggar, since her other hand didn't hold a metal cup.
Walgreens had a nice discount this past week on small six-ounce boxes of Nabisco cookies and crackers. Chips Ahoys for one dollar? That's a single guy's lunch anytime....
But as I walked toward the far aisle with the Chips Ahoy cookies, the older woman spoke up to get my attention. "Do you have a dollar, so I can get some candles?" In all my years meeting beggars, this was a first - because you don't tend to eat candles.
I didn't quite grasp what the woman with the cane was asking - but I noticed another woman at the other end of the aisle, trying to get her attention. I pointed her toward that woman, and asked her to come back to me after they were finished. That other woman was holding out a dollar bill, and I was in no mood to start a bidding war in the middle of a drug store.
The woman with a cane took the dollar bill from the other end of the aisle, then picked up three long stick candles and walked toward the checkout. She didn't say a word, and clearly didn't need me anymore. Other beggars would have improvised on the spot, and asked for a matching tablecloth.
I happened to get in the checkout line behind the woman with the candles, who happened to have change in her pocket to pay the sales tax on her candles. As she walked out, I explained to the checkout woman what had happened.
"That's Miss Kate," she told me. "We've run her off once before for doing that." In fact, a Walgreens supervisor responded to my comment by trying to chase Miss Kate down outside. Either she got away, or she pulled a lighter out of her pocket and threatened to light those candles.
The supervisor stopped me as I walked out the door. "I think Miss Kate has something missing upstairs, because she always seems to forget to bring her money."
"Well...."
"And we've warned her before not to do that. But she keeps showing up, anyway."
"Well...."
"And I'm sorry that she did that to you. Hopefully she can get help of some sort."
"Well...."
Pause.
"I was waiting to see if you'd say something more."
With the supervisor finished, I explained Miss Kate was the tenth beggar I'd met in the Columbus area this year. But I did NOT mention that another customer provided the money for the candles. I think that woman was still inside the store - hopefully not looking for someone else, to get her dollar back.
E-MAIL UPDATE: Mr. Big Volume suddenly has turned into Mr. Rumor Mill....
Little bidie says that A local dealership canceled the Employees insurance without notice to the employees before they received their last paychecks.
Also, that birdie mumbled something about Hendrick - (as in Rick Hendrick of Hendrick Motor Sports in NASCAR ) has shown interest in either one or several of the same dealerships that decided to close up and run, earlier this week.
I don't know if we should trust "little birdies" these days. After all, a few of them in Harris County practically have put the Sheriff in prison....
We mentioned the Rick Hendrick speculation Thursday, but that hasn't become official yet. For all we know, the issue could be whether the dealership becomes Jeff Gordon Chevy or Dale Earnhardt Jr. Chevy.
WRBL spread its own rumor Friday, that a group of local investors wants to buy the car dealers. The group supposedly includes Chris Fritz of Bill Heard Cadillac - who may have uttered the words our e-mailer put on his/her title: "Let's mark them all OUT."
The only confirmed report about Bill Heard involves a deal which apparently fell through. Carl Gregory released a statement saying problems involving a third party left a takeover agreement "almost dead." Hmmmm - could some other Chevrolet dealer revitalize this deal? Could Tom Jumper come down from Atlanta with "jumper cables?"
(In fact, the Tom Jumper web site actually has words of condolence toward Bill Heard's employees -- as if all Chevrolet dealerships are in a mourning period. Of course, some dealers might mark the occasion by putting black cars on sale....)
Since we mentioned the color black, let's review some weekend news headlines:
+ Alabama raced to a 31-0 halftime lead, and held off Georgia 41-30 in college football. Indeed, black is the color of mourning -- unless you're Nick Saban wearing it at a Monday news conference.
(The Athens fans sang "Happy Birthday" during the first quarter to the retired Larry Munson, as he turned 86. So what do you think - are the Bulldogs cursed at home now, until someone can hook up wires so Munson can call the games from his house while watching TV?)
+ WRBL showed highlights from the Columbus Urban League's annual "Do the Right Thing" celebration for young people. I assume this was named after that old Spike Lee movie - which a friend told me was filled with people doing the WRONG thing.
+ Country music star Taylor Swift performed for a sellout crowd at the Columbus Civic Center. That's not bad for someone who graduated from high school only a few months ago - but if she REALLY wants to make it big in show business, she needs to have a weird quicky wedding like Britney Spears had.
+ Swift's concert occurred during the opening weekend of the Greater Columbus Fair. If this was a real old-fashioned county fair, there would be a fund-raising project with donors pounding used cars with sledgehammers. And this year, someone would make sure that car had a Bill Heard sign on it.
+ The Bavarian House restaurant on Whittlesey Boulevard celebrated Oktoberfest -- four days before October begins. This is what happens what the Trade Center schedules "Christmas Made in the South" for late October....
+ Instant Message to the executives of Washington Mutual: What are you saying this weekend - "woo-hoo" or "boo-hoo"?
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