25 AUG 08: TALK OF THE TOWNS

So I understand they're having a city election in Hurtsboro Tuesday. But I couldn't tell you who is running, because no one has told me. And Constable Robert Schweiger certainly hasn't told me, because he doesn't think the vote should even count....

Hurtsboro is one of several East Alabama cities which are preparing for local elections Tuesday. Mayors will be selected. City council positions will be filled. And if a race is close, new enemies are likely to be made.

The closest vote to downtown Columbus is the Phenix City election. Mayor Jeff Hardin decided not to run for re-election -- obviously because someone would have brought up that movie theatre he still hasn't brought to town, after four years.

The Phenix City Mayor's race comes down to two familiar names. One is former mayor Sonny Coulter, who hopes to hold the office for a fourth time. Will the landing of Tropical Storm Fay in Florida four times prove to be prophetic?

Sonny Coulter has promoted his campaign around Phenix City with signs simply saying, "Sonny!" If I didn't know better, I'd think Sonny Perdue had moved across the state line - or I'd try to corner Coulter at a community meeting and give him a "Sonny Do" list.

The other man running for Phenix City Mayor is Gene Oswalt. Based on how he stopped me in a hallway at First Baptist Church a few weeks ago to challenge my right to be inside the building, I'll never confuse him with country music performer Bashful Brother Oswald....

Gene Oswalt is trying to emphasize his years of service in Phenix City. Yet to me, he doesn't have the name recognition that Sonny Coulter has. Maybe if Oswalt submitted a list of every city employee he plans to fire....

Up the road a few miles, Smiths Station also has a city election Tuesday. LaFaye Dellinger is seeking another term as mayor. You may recall she told this blog last summer the citizens will decide if she should seek a third term [7 Aug 07] -- so I wonder how many of them mailed her campaign donations.

The challenger for Smiths Station Mayor is Ken Belcher. Belcher actually has a campaign web site, which includes a baby picture and a photo showing he lives in a motor home. Most political candidates recall their "humble beginnings" years after the fact - they don't run in the middle of them.

A side issue in the Smiths Station city election is a pay raise, which the winners will receive in the coming term. This is clearly one time when Republican residents wish they had a "None of the Above" option on the ballot....

Another mayoral race at stake Tuesday is in Eufaula. Jay Jaxon is seeking a fifth term - and I think one of the highlights of his first four terms has been the naming of the Jacksonville Jaguars' mascot in his honor.

Jay Jaxon is truly a survivor in Eufaula, after winning a very close vote four years ago. He's even survived a proposal to rename the city "Lake Eufaula" - which I think was last seen at the bottom of the lake, being devoured by largemouth bass.

The Eufaula mayor's race actually is a rematch, as Jay Jaxon is challenged for the second election in a row by car dealer Randall Greene. Hopefully Greene is using the same campaign signs he posted four years ago - to prove once and for all he's the Greene candidate.

But some rumor-spreading apparently has developed in this race. Randall Greene had to explain to the Eufaula Tribune last week why he filed bankruptcy papers twice in this decade. He's now a principle General Motors dealer near Nashville - and given G.M.'s sales, a third bankruptcy filing might not be far off.

One curious argument in the Eufaula mayor's race is whether or not the city is growing. The candidates dispute which set of census numbers accurately reflects Eufaula's population. I think this means if there's a big turnout Tuesday, Randall Greene will accuse Jay Jaxon of voter fraud.

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TODAY'S ULTIMATE BLOG OLYMPIC MOMENT: I turned on NBC Sunday afternoon, and saw people doing bicycle stunts live from Oregon. Apparently after showing a table tennis gold-medal match at 2:00 a.m. Sunday during a tornado warning, they finally ran out of Olympic sports to cover.

(So with the Beijing Games finally over, is it safe for us to put away the political correctness and call it "Red China" again? And why do "Red State Republicans" have no trouble calling it that?)

OVERHEARD OVER HERE: A Columbus teacher tried to illustrate a point recently, by mentioning a famous work of art.

"You've seen that statue by Rogaine.... the guy who's thinking...."

While you pause to think over that one, let's wrap up some news from the weekend:

+ The Columbus area began cleaning up damage from Tropical Storm Fay. One report showed Valley, Alabama received more than seven inches of rain. That should help keep West Point Lake filled for awhile. And I hope the people in Apalachicola are happy - because they might not need to borrow any water from Lake Lanier for a couple of weeks.

(Thanks mostly to Tropical Storm Fay, my personal financial winning streak grew to four days in a row. No, not from playing poker - but days with the air conditioner turned off.)

+ Muscogee County Republican Chair Josh McKoon issued a news release, criticizing Barack Obama's selection of a running mate. But really now - the only choice McKoon might have endorsed is himself. And even then, he would have accused Obama of having a sinister plot to divide the G.O.P.

+ Instant Message to WRBL: I watched your golf tournament Sunday, so I know the final outcome. Based on the score box in the corner of the screen, it was Vijay Singh at -8, followed by First Alert at -3.

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