20 AUG 08: AB CAB FAB

If you're not up on trendy TV shows of the 1990's, "Ab Fab" was shorthand for the British comedy "Absolutely Fabulous." We've added a word today, because a new fashion wave may be coming to Columbus. It might be called "cabbie couture" or "taxi togs" - although on the old TV series "Taxi," only Marilu Henner seemed worthy of a fashion show.

The city Taxicab Commission reported to Columbus Council Tuesday that large numbers of taxi drivers are violating the city rules for dress. For instance, did you know they have to wear slacks with no holes in them? I'd think the biggest threat wouldn't be holes in the knees - but in the (ahem) derriere, from sitting down on the job all day.

The city code also requires Columbus cab drivers to wear clothing which covers all body parts. That apparently means long-sleeve shirts, even in the August heat. And you wondered why the taxis are run with air conditioners noisier than the stereos....

Some cab companies set their own dress codes, in addition to the city rules. For instance, Yellow Cab drivers are supposed to have collared shirts. And I assume they have to be yellow, unless you've just been traded from A Cab with its red cars.

(You may not know Columbus even sets rules for the colors of taxis. I was told years ago that all the vehicles of a company have to be the same color, as specified by the Taxicab Commission. So if a teal blue car shows up at your door with a Yellow Cab sign on it, I'd be skeptical.)

On top of that, a few Columbus cab companies require their drivers to be clean-shaven. That would never work in New York - because that probably would violate at least one religious group's standards, and lead to marches outside the United Nations.

(I'll never forget the time I vacationed in New York, and noticed how the streets became a literal sea of yellow at sunset. Taxis seemed to dominate the streets of Manhattan - and there I was, doing quite fine and saving money by riding the subway.)

It may be an extreme step, but the Taxicab Commission is thinking about requiring cab drivers to wear uniforms. Of course, that raises a question - what color? Several good ones already are taken in Columbus. Fort Benning soldiers have khaki, the downtown "ambassadors" wear purple, and the inmates who mow lawns have white.

Before it goes that far, the Taxicab Commission is thinking about tougher enforcement of the dress code for drivers. Police say violators could be taken to Recorder's Court and fined. Now that would be unusual - since it doesn't seem like any cab drivers get tickets for reckless driving or speeding.

So you may be asking who serves on this city Taxicab Commission. The city web site shows it has nine assorted members, ranging from a taxi driver to the manager of the Columbus Airport. The airport's presence only makes sense - since for some odd reason, METRA buses don't stop there....

(By the way, I looked over the list of members on various city boards - and was stunned to find two ministers serve on the Golf Course Authority. It's a wonder there hasn't been a proposal to close the courses on Sundays.)

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TODAY'S BLOG OLYMPIC MOMENT: I'm a bit surprised Olympic water polo hasn't brought protests in Beijing. I mean, how do the horses breathe at the bottom of the pool?

E-MAIL UPDATE: While we wait for the big ruling on Hurtsboro's future, we hear for the first time in a long while from one of the petitioners....

Sir Richard:

I have only the deepest respect for your BLOG and would never spatter your pages with SPAM!! In other words - you haven't heard from me, because I had nothing of value to post. I was simply waiting for the other shoe to drop - I knew you would be watching!!

Of course. I'm disappointed that we didn't receive an instant ruling - and I do hope the outcome will be worth waiting for.

From what I'm hearing; there was a better trial being held in the lobby where witnesses waited. It seems that some of the town supporters left with a different point of view - after discussing the situation with those tha had THE COLD HARD FACTS.

As I recall, you had a pair of BIG BLOG QUESTIONS concerning "Hurt'sboro" Mondays and my impact on your BLOG.

How about asking your Bloggers their thoughts on thIs matter?

THE QUESTION: Should the charter be forfeited in "Hurt'sboro?

This would be everyone's opportunity to see what kind of a Probate Judge they would be!! Every responder should remember - it's not just an emotional matter - it's a matter of law!

Constable R.J. Schweiger

Thank you for striving to leave our blog spam-free. Trouble is, we're preparing a special post filled with it for later in the week....

The Constable has called for the question - and so we've posted it, through the link added to his e-mail. Of course, I'm well aware we may get votes on Hurtsboro's future from people in other cities. I don't have sophisticated voting filters to control that. But then, people who want a sophisticated blog are reading the one Dick McMichael writes.

We're holding a different e-mail for another day, because we need to interview someone about it. In the meantime, let's check other Tuesday news....

+ The price of gasoline slipped below $3.50 a gallon in a couple of Columbus locations. It's less than $3.40 in parts of Chambers County - but don't worry, Labor Day weekend is coming to change all that.

+ Workers began pouring a new cement floor at the Columbus Civic Center. More than 11 new miles of pipes were laid for the hockey rink -- but did anyone check to see if a smart-aleck employee buried an Auburn football jersey in the middle of it?

(The Civic Center's new floor reportedly requires about 70 loads of cement. If some of us had known that six weeks ago, we would have asked why the division of the one-percent sales tax couldn't be 95 percent for police, and five percent for harder streets.)

+ A Talbot County judge dismissed criminal charges against the principal of the Alternative School. A parent claimed the principal threw her 14-year-old son out of a desk. Either the judge concluded there wasn't enough evidence - or this was declared a new way to get boys to join the football team.

+ Executives with the Columbus Symphony Orchestra appeared on WDAK's "Viewpoint." Conductor George Del Gobbo noted the orchestra has 75 paid musicians under contract, including some from outside Columbus. It must not be easy in rehearsals for Del Gobbo, to keep reminding the Alabama musicians it's NOT called a fiddle.

+ A review in Indiana confirmed the alleged "Bigfoot" discovery in north Georgia was nothing but a rubber ape costume. On top of that, one of the "discoverers" who took cash advance money is a Clayton County police officer. Let's see if he gets that costume back - since he'll need to sell it on eBay for extra money, after he's fired.

+ Instant Message to the woman in the Direct Optical Center commercial for Lasik surgery: What do you mean, I'm chicken? Why, I can walk in your office any time I wish. But if you were promoting a dentist....

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