7 AUG 08: A 50-50 BALL

"When you reach 50," the man on the phone told me, "you can forget about ever getting married." He said this Sunday -- the day before I turned 50. Truly the gift of encouragement is a rare possession.

Yes, I'm ready to make that "once in a lifetime" announcement I promised last week. Your blogger turned 50 years old this week. So if the writing seems a bit more cantankerous from this point on, it might not be a personal tribute to Skip Caray -- it simply could be because I'm getting older.

The actual day of the 50^th birthday was Monday - but I've made it a custom here NOT to mention birthdays on the exact date. In part, I want to see if friends and relatives remember it. And in part, I need a couple of days to confirm I can make it past the milestone.

(There's also a religious aspect. For years, I attended church groups which claimed birthday celebrations were wrong. They argued every time the Bible mentions birthdays, bad things happen. But then again, those groups keep Passover every spring - and Christians believe something very unfair happened then. Necessary, but unfair....)

I received a few e-mail greetings in the last few days, which undoubtedly were computer-driven. An online survey company awarded me bonus points. And there were messages from two leading soda companies - which might be surprised to learn that's what I've been drinking this week, instead of cognac or beer.

While I received a birthday card from my employer, I didn't mention my 50^th birthday on the job. But a co-worker noted Monday that it was Barack Obama's birthday. So I'm exactly three years older than the Presidential candidate. As if I needed a reminder of getting old....

A singles group from the church I'm attending holds monthly "birthday dinners" at a restaurant, so I simply HAD to attend Wednesday night. I brought along the surest sign that someone is turning 50. Yes, I took a letter from the American Association of Retired Persons -- since I'm now eligible for membership.

The AARP offer actually arrived in my mailbox last week, but I decided to keep it sealed until the singles dinner. Even before the ceremonial opening, people sitting around me had things to say about it. "They DO have an agenda," one man said. Another person declared the organization "liberal." No, this was NOT a singles group from a Unitarian church....

Another man said the AARP works to help retired people. And a couple of people praised the group's travel discounts - which means I might not need to stop at highway welcome centers for coupon books anymore. I'm going to miss that tiny cup of Florida orange juice.

"You're now officially an old fogey," a man across from me at the restaurant table said. Which prompted me to respond with a question I've asked from time to time in recent years.

"Are there any young fogeys?"

"Yes, there are," said the 40-something man next to me. "I am." He lived up to that title during the dinner, by saying he considers Barack Obama "Antichrist."

(The young fogey also wondered during dinner why so many Columbus police cars joined in the "National Night Out" procession Tuesday night, when gasoline costs "four dollars a gallon." Even an old fogey like myself knows the price has dropped 40 cents or more in the last few weeks.)

I told the group there had to be some boundary line between being a "young whipper-snapper" and an "old fogey." No one seemed exactly sure where that line is. But there's part of me which thinks I crossed it years ago - by driving at the speed limit on Veterans Parkway and Interstate 185.

Another man said now that I'm 50, I should expect people to treat me in a "more distinguished" way. They should call me "Sir," he said. Pay attention to that, everyone - and stop using all those more judgmental names under your breath.

I was one of two people at the dinner marking an August birthday. A woman at the other end of the table will be 40 in about ten days. Our singles group is supposed to be for people 40 and older - but the group leader admitted the other day he's not surprised to find younger women "crashing the party."

The dinner at Country's Barbecue turned out well - and the wait staff clapped their hands at the end of the evening, singing a birthday song as they served me chocolate chess pie. The dessert for this occasion was on the house. But no one picked up my dinner tab - proving Christian charity goes only so far.

To be honest, the last several days have left me feeling rather old. It started with the local man being forced into retirement last week [2 Aug], combined with my turning 50. And now the "senior discounts" should start coming - with banks and other establishments talking to me like I'm six years old and deaf.

But there have been some signs of encouragement this week. Monday's "birthday run" in the late-afternoon sun and heat was a pleasantly surprising 1.6 miles non-stop -- my best Monday evening run since May. Now if I could only afford to hire Dara Torres's trainer....

E-MAIL UPDATE: We start the messages with a blog reader correcting something we wrote Wednesday....

As for the Tuesday meeting Wilkes attended: the Phenix City Council approved a budget for the new fiscal year - more than a month into the fiscal year. You'd think the council members would want to set a better example for the StreetScape workers than this...."

The fiscal year for the City of Phenix City has not started. The City's Fiscal year will begin October 2008 and run thru September 2009. Just thought I would pass this along. You also might want to know the city has been working on this budget since APRIL!!!! You would think with such a top notch *rolls eyes* finance director they would have already passed it ... but it IS well before the start of the fiscal year. FYI

L8ter

Thanks for setting things straight - but let's be fair. Four months of work and debate on a governmental budget isn't all that bad. In Washington, they often fight over such things from February through October.

Monday's introduction of our current Big Blog Question brought a comment as well:

Richard, I can't believe you called the former contributors to Talkline "a group of gripers".During the years it was on the air lots of valuable information was disseminated to area residents. Some info would never have become general knowledge without the program. Of course there were a few who complained about everything but I think that was the minority. And there were regular callers who had interesting personalities that the listeners looked forward to hearing. If I owned a local station I would definitely put the program back on the air (for ratings, to get people talking and to make money). Talkline Fan/Caller

Now now -- I used the phrase "usual group of gripers" because some people considered the callers to WRCG's Talkline to be exactly that. They said so in letters I read in the Ledger-Enquirer. But if you're griping about the gripers, what does that make you?

But some people became known for calling Talkline over and over again. Paul Olson was on the air almost every day, citing sections of government code. "Nadine" called often in recent years, and before that the late "Man Under the Bridge." In larger cities, some talk radio stations restrict frequent callers -- but in Columbus, this would be called an unconstitutional muzzling of free speech.

Now before this old fogey heads to the bedroom for his necessary rest, let's check some Wednesday news headlines:

+ A Phenix City employee filed a federal lawsuit against the city and Councilor Ray Bush. This is the same woman who took Bush to Russell County court last year and lost - so perhaps she's hoping for a reunion of Don Siegelman's jury in Montgomery.

+ The Marion County Commission approved plans for a new security training center, along Doctor Brooks Road. This rezoning issue sparked a lot of debate - but I've never heard anyone explain who Doctor Brooks is, and how a road was named after him. Wasn't he "Doc Brooks" when he played baseball in East Alabama?

+ The new school year opened in Harris County, Russell County and Phenix City. One Russell County teacher reported some kindergarten students were unable to sleep, before their first day in class. The school nurses needed to know this, so they can order the right amount of Ritalin for the coming year.

+ The 9-10 year-old American All-Stars won the Little League regional baseball tournament in West Virginia. Good for them - but now the pressure will start to build. Can they do this again in a couple of years, and make the Little League World Series in Pennsylvania? Or will Northern Little League recruit away half of them first?

+ Former Carver High School quarterback DeRon Furr was out of sight, one day after announcing his plans to leave Auburn University. If you think about it, this makes perfect sense. It's early August - the usual time for Furrs to be in layaway.

+ Instant Message to WRBL: What do you mean by that commercial about finding "a familiar face"? It's not like Wayne Bennett shaved off his moustache a few days ago....

In the first half of 2008, our number of unique visitors jumped 23 percent from last year. To advertise to our readers, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1090 (+ 38, 3.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.