Monday, August 18, 2008

18 AUG 08: GOOD AND THE WORKS



I told myself a week ago it was overdue. A moment like it hadn't passed my way since late April. And before you get the wrong idea - it's even longer than that since I had my last date....



BLOGGER BEGGAR #8: "How are you doing?" the man asked me as I walked to my car Saturday night.


"Happy and victorious" - at the end of a big long run. Was this passing stranger ready to join in the celebration?


"Can I ask you a small favor?" Well, yes and no.



I could smell what this man's next sentence would involve, so I tried to cut to the chase immediately. "How much?"



"I'll level with you, sir," the passing stranger said. "I'm homeless, and I'm trying to get a dollar for something to eat." Trouble is, Circle K up the street is selling hot dogs at two for two dollars -- and he claimed to have no money at all.



"Come on. I'm going to dinner right now. I'll buy you dinner." I had to repeat this offer, as if the homeless man couldn't believe it - or as if he thought I'd take him directly to the county jail.



As usual, I asked the beggar to empty his pockets before entering my car. The biggest surprise was what appeared to be a DVD-ROM. "I've got a movie," the beggar said.


"Do you have anything to play it with?" Maybe not in his pockets, but something that could double as a chest protector.



"No, I don't."


"Why do you have a movie, when you have nothing to play it with?"


"Someone gave it to me."


"Why would someone give you a movie you couldn't watch?"


"So I could make money from it, for a dollar." Considering someone wrote the title on the disc, it also may have been a ploy to get the beggar arrested for selling pirated movies.



The beggar passed the pocket check, so he entered my car for the drive to dinner. "Were you at the game?" he asked me. Apparently he thought the baseball players across the road at Golden Park wore yellow T-shirts and green shorts.



"No. I've been running." I should take this moment to thank the man sitting on the 14th Street Bridge, for asking me during the run how old I am. Did my 50-year-old graying hair shine THAT brightly under the lights?



"They have a sale at Kentucky Fried Chicken," the beggar suggested as we drove north. Why do so many beggars in Columbus seem to prefer KFC? Does Church's Chicken remind them of a shelter like the House of Mercy?



"Restaurants tend to have sales everywhere," I told him. Besides, you should have told me this before we got in the car -- because my KFC coupons were waiting at home.



Then this beggar became perhaps the first person to learn how I choose my Saturday night dinner locations. I go in a different direction every time, rotating clockwise on main roads from my home -- and with a count from one to ten, based on what day of the year it is. Don't worry, the beggar didn't understand it either....



"I try to be fair, balanced and evenhanded with how I spread my Saturday night money," I told the beggar.


"Whatever you say," he answered - perhaps wondering which one of us really had the crazier line of thinking.



"Don't hit that truck!" the beggar suddenly interrupted. A vehicle was sticking out on Eighth Street, as if it was giving another car a jump-start.


"I see it," I told the man. "I'm looking straight ahead." There's not much scenery left to see, when you've driven on a road for 11 years.



"How far do you run?" the man asked as we turned onto Veterans Parkway. Now we could have the victory celebration.


"Tonight, praise be to God, I made it 3.55 miles non-stop."


"You're staying in shape," the beggar said. I'm trying - and for a guy who just turned 50, it felt really good. I've now proven to myself that age 50 is simply a state of mind. As long as that mind doesn't start to fade away....



But back to dinner: there's a KFC at Ninth and Veterans Parkway - but my count Saturday night wasn't a "1," it was a "5." So we were heading for the fifth open restaurant in line, which was one attached to the Circle K at 14th Street. It was a night in the Subway - and I hoped my dinner guest wouldn't turn out to be a low-life.



The beggar wanted to leave his belongings in the car as we walked inside Subway, but I wouldn't allow it. "This is as far as we're going - or at least, as you're going." The homeless man seemed to accept that, and he should have. He could have wound up on my west dinner course, which extends to Ladonia.



The homeless man had warned me at the outset he'd need to use the bathroom. Subway has one - but it turned out he merely wanted to wash his hands. Uh-oh. I had just run/walked about four miles in all, and I never washed my hands before this dinner. But if I ate my own sweat, does it really matter?



The beggar came out of the restroom shaking his rather wet hands. (No, I didn't check the restroom to learn why.) Since I picked the restaurant, I let the homeless man choose the sandwich: "Buffalo chicken." No, I didn't play any Jessica Simpson games with him at this point....



We had to repeat the order to a second "sandwich artist" who came forward after the original order: buffalo chicken foot-long (I'd split it 50-50 six-six with the beggar) on wheat. "Do you want it microwaved or toasted?"


"Microwaved," the beggar said as I deferred to him. Apparently there's a difference at Subway -- but you never hear them boasting about how "nuked" their sandwiches are.



"Stop it at 25 seconds," the homeless man as he watched the microwave clock count down. I didn't ask him why he wanted it stopped there. Was he going to run a football play with it or something?



"I want the works on it," the guest said of his sandwich.


"The what?" asked the employee.


"I think he means The Works." I pointed to an illustrative sticker in front of me on the glass, showing all sorts of toppings. "Are you familiar with that?"


"Yeah," the employee half-answered -- acting like this sandwich artist was actually a first-year student in the Columbus State arts program.



"I want the jala," the beggar then said as toppings were added. This stumped the staffer at Subway yet again.


"I think he means jalapeños," I added, and the beggar confirmed that's what he meant. "You probably need to spell it all out here."



The buffalo chicken sandwich at Subway is NOT one of those "five-dollar footlongs." I wound up spending close to seven dollars - and it could have been more. But the beggar asked merely for a cup of water, and the total was rung up before I could figure out which drink gave me the best chance to win that new Scrabble game.



"How are you tonight?" a man who seemed to be the manager asked as he handed me a credit card receipt.


"I'm happy and victorious...." That really hadn't changed. "He's homeless, and needing help."


"God's gonna give you a blessing for that," the presumed manager assured me. But maybe not on this night, as he didn't offer me a free drink.



"Be sure to thank him, now," the presumed manager advised the beggar as our foot-long sandwich was divided into separate bags.


"I already did," he answered. If he did, I missed it. Maybe it was back in the car, when he asked me if I was from out of town.



I left the homeless man at Subway, and drove home realizing several things. My prediction of a week before had come true. Timing is everything, when it comes to a beggar passing you by. This homeless man was more peaceable and understanding than others I've met. And buffalo chicken already has enough spicy sauce, without jalapeño peppers being piled on top.



E-MAIL UPDATE: We received this message several days ago, but have lacked a good opportunity to post it. It's a suggestion which apparently has been sent to Columbus city officials....



August 9, 2008



Subject: Updating of Antiquated Archival System



1. Permanent Archival system for All City Government Videos



2. Free Access to Council & Other City Government Videos Through On-line Archives



3. Free Access to CCGTV



4. Stop Destruction of City Government Videos



Dear Mr. City Manager, Mr. Mayor and Council;



1. The City now allows free online access to the council videos for a very short period of time, for about 21 days. This is provided on the city website.



2. After the videos are removed from the free access on the city website the tapes are kept in the studio for 6 to 12 months, after which they are then archived in the records dept., for 3 years. Tapes are then either reused, which means the original content is destroyed, or they are preserved in an altered form. Requests for longer retention are on a case by case basis.



From the CCGTV website: "XI. Retention and Ownership of videotapes: All tapes shall be the property of the CCG-TV. It shall be general policy to retain tapes of staff produced programs, meetings and events for up to six months. The exception to this policy is City Council meetings, Planning Advisory Commission meetings and government, educational public hearings and forums. All tapes will be kept in archives for one year at CCG-TV studio, afterwards will be boxed and moved to the records department for 3 years. At the end of this time, tapes may be reused or stored in a manner other than the original version. Requests for longer retention will be allowed on a case-by-case basis. The tapes of meetings shall not be considered an official record and will not be held liable for inadvertent erasure or omissions."



Our Request:



1. Retention of all video, indefinitely, in a permanent library archive. We have a very obvious suggestion for their location, the extremely large Columbus Pubic Library. A permanent archive of all video is essential to preserve the integrity of transparency in this city. We recommend that real copies of the "tapes" be made available to the public for a fee. This way old video would not be destroyed, and all video would be available to future generations. The Large Public Library is an easy way to archive them, why not house them there, in a government building to which the public and city employees have access?



2. We would like to see free on-line access to the videos indefinitely, through an on-line archive. They could be made accessible on the CCGTV website, (or other website) through on-line viewing and downloads. A video archive system could house and make them accessible 24/7 free for anyone who wanted to see them. This is the true transparency we need in Columbus.



If free access is not available, then please consider on-line access for a fee. If the access is for a fee then a request could be made on-line through a form, and payment could be made on-line as well. The delivery of the video could be through on-line means, as well, through controlled downloads. Access might be available one day per week, for example, all requests made by Wed. noon might be available by Fri. noon, or at any time convenient for staff personnel.



When reviewing old records, it is necessary to have access to all archives, in order to make a complete review of the records in total, assuring greater historic accuracy. The city has the videos but we are wasting them. OLD VIDEOS ARE DESTROYED NEEDLESSLY! Destroying them prevents valid research. We need a new archival system so future generations can use them as an invaluable research tool. We have the videos ---LET'S STOP DESTROYING THEM.



Additional suggestions:



1. That All video be preserved on DVD in duplicate (with storage in two different locations). A box of 100 CDs takes up 6" X 10" -- a minimal space. 10 years worth of city government meeting videos could be kept in a chest of drawer, or in one file cabinet. I have 400 CDs in one file cabinet drawer and the drawer is only half full. Video tape can be de-magnetized, they become brittle, and will actually lose their signal due to age (the iron oxide particles actually begin to realign themselves to the original state over time, thereby in essence "leaking" their information). On the other hand, CDs are not magnetic, they don't become brittle and in essence preserve the information in a semi-permanent fashion, or as permanent a fashion as possible.



2. Further recommend- That 12 months of City Council meetings be available on the city website.



3. Free access to CCGTV to those without cable access.



Please set this as a priority and complete the online transparency cycle with a reliable archival and retrieval system.



Thank You,



Deborah Owens



http://www.gingerlake.com



The main public library indeed is extremely large - but do we need video recordings of Columbus Council meetings there? Shouldn't the written minutes be sufficient, as they have been for hundred of years? Or is this a sneaky way of checking whether male Councilors are using hair replacement drugs?



There could be online space problems, when it comes to storing Columbus Council meeting video. A local official contacted your blog a couple of years ago, to see if we had the online room to store video of a court hearing. We didn't - as we have fewer "megs" than a video store has Meg Ryan movies.



But there are companies around the country which record telecasts, and offer clips of the video for a fee. Perhaps the city government could work out a deal with one of them. Yet why do I have this feeling most of the requests would come during election years - from political campaigns?



DVD records of Columbus Council meetings truly would be a great research tool. But what happens 20 years from now, when the next video step beyond DVD becomes popular? My living room stereo still has an opening for eight-track tapes, but that doesn't mean I've gone searching for any.



TODAY'S BLOG OLYMPIC MOMENT: If you want a somewhat updated U.S. medal count from Beijing, the Fourth Avenue Car Wash is displaying one on its sign downtown. With a little adjusting, the car wash lane could make an interesting whitewater rafting course.



Now let's steer our way through some other Sunday discoveries:


+ Which local rehabilitation program is so tough, residents aren't even allowed to read the newspaper? I never realized modern comic strips could be so corrupting....



+ Columbus State University's music school sold dozens of used pianos, after acquiring 68 new Steinways through a gift. Commercials promoting the sale said several pianos were "still under warranty" - which I guess means they're good for five years, or 50,000 performances of "Chopsticks."



+ High school student Katherine Phipps was crowned OUR new Miss Columbus. She told the evening news the toughest part of the competition was not knowing what she'd be asked during a ten-minute interview. Well, of course - at what point do you openly wish for world peace?



+ Instant Message to all area preachers: How many of you mentioned Michael Phelps in your sermons this weekend? And how many of you noted that his regimen, "swim-eat-sleep, swim-eat-sleep" left prayer and Bible reading out?



SCHEDULED TUESDAY: The debate continues over one certain Columbus Councilor....



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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.



© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.



CORRECTED 10:20am....


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