1 FEB 08: A HOUSE DIVIDED

At first I didn't catch the strangeness of it. A well-known local woman was on WRBL Thursday night, explaining how she was assaulted in a couple of ways by opponents of Hillary Rodham Clinton's presidential campaign. The woman said a critic threw a mop at her - which is strange enough, since machetes tend to be the alternative weapon of choice in an Army town.

Only later did I realize who was explaining the attack. The supporter of Hillary Rodham Clinton was Vivian Creighton Bishop -- the woman whose husband/Congressman is supporting Barack Obama. How much trash-talking went on in their house Thursday night, during that cable TV debate from Hollywood?

Vivian Creighton Bishop said the man who threw a mop at her was angry, because she isn't backing the African-American candidate for President. This historic Democratic primary may be revealing some interesting genetic patterns. At least in this family, love of gender matters more than skin color....

It turns out I'm a bit late to this family revelation. The Ledger-Enquirer did a story on the divided Bishop household last Sunday - nine days after the New York Times first mentioned it. Even in the Internet age, news still can travel slowly around here.

(There's a potential tiebreaker in this family - as the Bishops have an adult daughter living in suburban Atlanta. Or is she busy trying to make Cynthia McKinney the Green Party nominee?)

We checked a political web site Thursday night, and found no sign the Bishops have put any money where their split loyalties are. Their names do NOT appear in a database of presidential campaign donors -- but the data has not been updated since late October. So perhaps they started caring about the race at the same time the rest of us did....

(We couldn't resist trying other local names in the database. But "Hugley" and "Wetherington" showed no donations, either. Of course, they've been too busy raising money for other things -- like high school football billboards.)

If it seems like our area has been ignored by presidential candidates in the countdown to Super Tuesday, the campaign donor reports may explain why. The candidate receiving the most local money in recent months was John Edwards - with a combined $41,000 from Columbus and Auburn-Opelika. We hope the homeless people of New Orleans enjoy that leftover campaign money.

The online database also shows through last October, Duncan Hunter had more campaign donations from Columbus than Barack Obama. How much of Hunter's money came from members of the National Rifle Association, who went only by his name?

(The top Republicans for local donations were Fred Thompson in Columbus, and Ron Paul in Auburn-Opelika. This shows a big difference in the two metropolitan areas. Columbus likes folksy candidates, while Auburn web-heads love to go for Internet records.)

But back to that mop: Vivian Creighton Bishop's comment isn't the only complaint from the local Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign office. I'm told someone showed up at that office last week, making threats with hedge clippers. This person should put the clippers to much better use -- and look for ways to trim government spending.

These threat-making critics ought to calm down a minute and think. If Barack Obama winds up as the Democratic nominee, isn't Vivian Creighton Bishop likely to play the good Democrat and support him next fall? It's the U.S. version of that Saturday night comedy on GPB - "Keeping Up Appearances."

BLOG UPDATE: A new secret report on Columbus came out Thursday. We really wanted the secrecy to end, but our hopes were dashed. But don't jump to conclusions here - this report probably doesn't have the name of Zachary Allen anywhere in it.

The new report contained the fall radio ratings for Columbus. Arbitron surveys our area twice a year, in fall and spring. Radio stations want to be on top in some category or another, so they can charge top-dollar rates for commercial time. The low-rated stations are more likely to offer specials on herbal supplements with funny names.

But for the fourth rating period in a row, Arbitron put an "embargo" on the Columbus radio ratings. That means someone is vetoing the release of the numbers to the general public. I think we can safely remove Michael Soul from the list of suspects - because he'd want everyone to know WFXE-FM is on top again.

Arbitron doesn't have to reveal who ordered the embargo. But I'll repeat the guess I made last summer - that Archway Broadcasting is keeping the numbers secret. The managers there are good at that. Look how many days it took for us to find out WRCG had been vandalized.

So what else did we find out Thursday? Let's have a look....

+ WRBL reporter Tim Reid went to Hurtsboro "demanding answers" from city officials. But he admitted Mayor Sandra Tarver-Yoba would NOT talk on camera, and a City Council member was told by other Councilors not to talk at all. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the August election....

(Tim Reid even went to a Hurtsboro police car, and opened it! It was unlocked, with equipment inside. So much for Reid doing a follow-up story there -- assuming the officers ever get around to dusting the squad car for fingerprints.)

+ The Hogansville City Council held a second meeting in three days, and decided to fire police chief Guy Spradlin. He was accused of sending sexist and racially-derogatory text messages - so a "thumbs down" vote really is no surprise.

+ Knight Recycling of Columbus announced it will merge with Schnitzer Steel, after 100 years in business. I'll assume the managers had a magnetic attraction to each other....

+ The evening news reported Phenix City has the second-fastest growing school system in Alabama. It's growing so fast that the new "freshman academy" at Central High School will have its own gymnasium - and after the failure of that sales tax last year, that gym might double as a new grade school.

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: It's party time.... both good and not-so-good....

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