11 FEB 08: DOGS DAZED

The annual Westminster Kennel Club dog show begins today at Madison Square Garden. Someday I'll understand why this isn't moved up a week, and combined with New York "Fashion Week." Wouldn't Paris Hilton fit in at both events?

Some East Alabama dogs are making news these days, but for very different reasons. This case reached us first:

Hurtsboro City Hall

P.O. Box 358

Hurtsboro, AL. 36860

Re. Dog attack

Jannie Jordan (Mayor Pro-Tem)

I'm contacting you, first hand; because it seems that you are the one the "mare" sends out to face the music on every occasion!

On the afternoon of 2/5/08 I was informed by a citizen that he had been attacked by a quartet of large dogs while he was walking on Goolsby Street. He managed to frighten the animals off - but not before his dog was mauled and injured!

Witnesses to the incident inform - that this is not the first time that these dogs have menaced with serious consequences!

Of course! There were no "Hurt'sboro police to turn to, so I had to rely on Russell County Animal Control to attend to the matter! When are you and the Council going to insist that our "police officers" at least pretend to serve and protect?

For your information - There's an ordinance in "Hurt'sboro, "That a kennel license is required for anyone to keep more than (3) three adult dogs on their property." Ho Hum! That ordinance, like so many others, lies unnoticed and never enforced! Or perhaps, , like the alcohol statute, it has been discarded - so it won't be a nuisance to you any more!

Sincerely,

R.J. Schweiger

Russell County Constable (Dist.#7)

First of all, this letter should prove one thing. The mayor of Hurtsboro still isn't being honest - because Robert Schweiger claimed a few days ago that would make him happy.

Longtime blog readers probably are not surprised by Robert Schweiger's knowledge of the kennel rules in Hurtsboro. After all, we learned through an e-mail from someone else last year that the Constable sleeps on top of dog cages at his home. Schweiger's critics probably would concede the dogs there are adults....

We called Russell County Animal Control to confirm this incident in Hurtsboro - but as of Sunday night, no one there had called us back. Perhaps it's because the staff has been busy with an even larger dog problem: a kennel in Seale with an estimated 400 dogs. And you wondered why Petco and Petland opened stores in Columbus recently?!

Neighbors have been complaining about Diane Brown's kennel in Seale for more than a year. But on Friday, WRBL followed Russell County animal control officers onto her grounds - and they seized dozens of dogs. If the Junior League wants to follow up its Follies with a production of "101 Dalmatians," we may be off to a good start.

Diane Brown insists she does NOT mistreat any dogs at her kennel in Seale. But the neighbors apparently suspect she's running a "puppy mill" of some kind -- and we all know how out-of-fashion mills are these days.

(Are there such things as "cat kennels?" Or are they simply expected to gather in the woods every so often for, uh, fun and games?)

If I'm not mistaken, dogs seized by Russell County Animal Control are still being taken to the Phenix City pound near City Hall. It's located a mere frisbee throw from the city recycling bins -- and the dogs seem to bark every time someone stops at the bins, as if they want to finish cleaning all the steel cans and plastic trays.

While my current residence has a "no-pets" claws clause, I have to admit I'm more of a cat person than a dog person. Cats are much more low-maintenance. They're no harm to anyone when they're outside. And cats don't chase you down the sidewalk when you're running, as if they think you're dinner.

But these two dog tails tales from Russell County are reminders that people should take care for animals under their care. It's probably best not to have too many of them. It's always good to keep them under control. And trust a runner on this -- dog leashes work best when the dog is attached to them.

Now let's chase down some Sunday news headlines....

+ Our Burkard Bulk Mail Index plunged to another record low, falling below the 1,100 mark. I hope Congress made sure none of the economic stimulus checks are mailed to spammers....

+ WRBL reported the demolition of the Baker Village Apartments is ahead of schedule, and should be finished in early spring. For some reason, I don't hear about any rush to sell commemorative bricks from the buildings - perhaps out of concern criminals might throw them through windows on Benning Drive.

+ Two new Muscogee County schools were dedicated. But did I hear it right - Eagle Ridge Academy is named after a nearby golf course?! Was the name "Maple Ridge" trademarked? Was "Double Bogey Ridge" ever considered as an option?

+ The RiverCenter presented the national touring production of the Billy Joel musical review "Movin' Out." So which challenger for Columbus Council brought this show to town?

+ Columbus State won in women's basketball over Francis Marion 113-108 in double overtime. It was the highest-scoring women's game in Peach Belt Conference history, and it came at the end of a stretch with four games in seven days. So don't be surprised if some of the Lady Cougars run in marathons during the off-season.

+ Birmingham native Steve Lowery won a Famous Phone Company's Pebble Beach PGA golf tournament in a playoff. It's Lowery's first PGA tour win in eight years - so he should send Tiger Woods a thank-you card, for taking a week off.

+ Instant Message to the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra: That has to sting a little --losing the Grammy for "Best Orchestral Performance" Sunday night to the Nashville Symphony. I really didn't know Nashville HAD a symphony. But I guess it gives all those out-of-work fiddle players something to do.

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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1067 (- 64, 5.7%, record low)

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