3 FEB 08: BROCK AND BREW
"It's been a great four years," East Alabama TV reporter Brock Parker told me Saturday night. But after next Friday, the reporting work will end - and in Parker's words, "I still can't believe I'm going to be working for the enemy."
No, Brock Parker hasn't been hired by WRBL or WLTZ. He's joining the staff of Auburn University - and he's a loyal graduate of the University of Alabama. "I already told them," Parker said as he held out a class ring on his right hand, "this is NOT coming off."
A farewell party for Brock Parker attracted a good crowd in downtown Columbus Saturday night -- but a fellow Alabama grad sitting next to him told me he's like a "traitor" to take a job with Auburn. I tried to comfort her, by saying Parker might be an infil-trator.
Brock Parker is joining the Auburn University communications staff. "I'll basically be over the Auburn web site," he explained - but as a loyal Alabama grad, he promises on fall weekends not to go beyond saying, "War Tide" or "Roll Eagle."
Brock Parker found out about the Auburn University opening during the fall, at a Lee-Scott Academy football game. He explained what makes it so appealing, after about 15 years in broadcast journalism. "I'll work from 7:45 to 4:45 Monday through Friday, I'll hardly ever get called in - and I'll go from two weeks of vacation to six weeks." I clearly need to attend more Lee-Scott games....
The change of schedule especially pleases Brock Parker's wife, because they have a young child at home. He won't be working nights anymore - and he can train his little girl in how to properly say "Bah-mah."
The farewell bash for Brock Parker took place at the Cannon Brewpub on Broadway. It had been five years and a day since I was inside that restaurant, attending another man's farewell from a job. Only on that Saturday night, I was the only person to show up for him. I'd like to think it was because a space shuttle disintegrated that day - and not anything personal.
"Reel beer, honest food" promises the cover of the Cannon Brewpub menu. Which led me to ask some people sitting around me: "Is there any dishonest food?"
An answer came to one woman right away: "Tofu. That's dishonest." I might have nominated the "everything bagel" - because when was the last time you saw chicken inside one of them?
We opened the Cannon Brewpub menus, and I ordered the Chicken Platter for $11.99 - grilled chicken prepared in your choice of ways, along with two side orders. But the top item on the side order list had me baffled. "What are sun spots?" I asked the server. It couldn't possibly have been what might have developed in peoples' eyes outside Saturday afternoon....
It turns out "sun spots" are baked sweet potato chips. They turned out all right - but when they were served with my teriyaki chicken and steamed broccoli, I was baffled again. A cup of what seemed to be jelly was put next to the sun spots. I dipped a few spots in it, but it didn't change the flavor much -- not to the point of an eclipse, at least.
The Cannon Brewpub's grilled chicken seemed seared in spots to the edge of burning. But the steamed broccoli was done very well, in a bowl with melted cheese which was white instead of yellow. It was a great taste combination -- and if Ruby Tuesday's staff is reading this: the cheese cost me absolutely nothing extra.
A couple sitting near me decided to share a pizza for dinner - and the Cannon Brewpub served it on a stand eight inches above the table. The purpose for this stand seemed obvious to me. But the couple decided against being romantic enough to stuff each other's mouths with slices.
But let's face it, the Cannon Brewpub is known for beer more than food. "You can tell the New England Patriots fans," I told a woman next to me, "because they're bringing out the Brew-schi."
The local beer creations at the Cannon Brewpub range from "City Mills Wheat" to "Red Jacket Ale." Here's hoping that was NOT awarded to last year's Jordan High School champion basketball team....
One woman couldn't make up her mind about which beer to order. But that's OK, because the Cannon Brewpub offers a "beer sampler" - with seven shot glasses of their beers, including a non-alcoholic root beer. The woman liked several of them. But after sampling them all, she admitted: "Now they all taste the same." The staff obviously needs to serve cheese with this.
The evening at the Cannon Brewpub left me with other scattered thoughts as well:
+ The Cannon was a pioneer in the downtown Columbus renaissance, and is turning nine years old this month. It's outlasted all sorts of businesses - including Citizens Trust Bank, which closed its 11th Street office when it moved to Macon Road. The Disco Fashions customers must have been outraged by that....
+ Two TV monitors were on as we dined. One had an ESPN channel showing assorted highlights from past Super Bowls. The other showed CNN's replay of Thursday night's Democratic presidential debate, with no captioning at all for following along. Wasn't there a basketball game on cable -- or even some channel covering New York Fashion Week?
+ A young man sitting next to me had an iPhone. I hadn't seen one in action, and was amazed at what he was able to do with a few flicks of his fingers. And talk about addicted - he barely noticed a woman rubbing the back of his neck.
+ A man near me talked about sharing a home with three or four other young men. This led someone else to exclaim: "You're living like a bunch of Mexicans!" Oh please - in college towns, this is called the buddy system.
E-MAIL UPDATE: Now for another party, that we admittedly don't completely understand....
I wonder if the parents of the young party giver in Sear's Woods will be held responsible for the mob the police broke up there last week end..Also, who is responsible for the liquor?
A search for "Sears Woods" on the Ledger-Enquirer's web site Saturday night turned up nothing on this case. And it couldn't possibly have been in Northland Neighbors - because the photos probably won't be ready for publication there until mid-March.
We have one more message, about a secret report we mentioned Friday:
Enjoy your work. See if you can find the reason no one in Columbus can know what the ratings are for the radio stations. This seems to be so selfish of someone. Keep up the good work.
If I call the Arbitron office, the staff isn't likely to give me an answer. I've read online that the company never reveals who asks for rating embargos. I'm more likely to get the numbers from a local "Deep Throat" in a parking garage.
Now let's see what else is making news on a warmer weekend....
+ Which young local man recently received a degree in nuclear engineering from Georgia Tech - and now he's working at a Publix store? Is it time to double-check that rotisserie chicken?
+ Mayor Jim Wetherington announced he'll ask Columbus Council this coming Tuesday to put the "public safety sales tax" on the July primary ballot. He again said he wants to hire 100 new officers, and put them "on the Riverwalk, downtown, in our parks...." So where are all the officers NOW? Maybe they're spending all their time guarding churches and shopping centers....
+ A weekend drive revealed downtown Columbus soon will have its own Dunkin Donuts. It will be built around 15th and Veterans Parkway, but apparently will be combined with a Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop and an Arby's restaurant. Do you want the "Horsey Sauce" on your rocky road cone, or your Bavarian cream donut?
+ The Muscogee County School District hosted a "Reading Bowl." Students had to read dozens of books, then answer questions about them. Some of those students probably longed for Larry King to ask the questions....
+ The Army Corps of Engineers received permission to write new rules for water levels along the Chattahoochee River, from Lake Lanier to Florida. This should give Columbus a big advantage -- if they can send Fort Benning commanders to the Corps office with empty buckets.
+ The Opelika-Auburn News reported Auburn's University Village Mall was evacuated, due to some sort of electrical problem. And you wondered why so many of these malls have Radio Shack stores....
+ GPB reported Savannah moved its Saint Patrick's Day parade up to March 14. It's the first date change since 1940, and is occurring because March 17 falls during "Holy Week." Apparently the brewing of green beer with "holy water" is considered improper.
+ Brock Parker's Alabama lashed Louisiana State 81-72 in men's college basketball. The "highlight" of the game may have come when Alabama's Senario Hillman missed a 360-degree slam dunk. At that moment, something else might have hit 360 degrees - Coach Mike Gottfried's collar.
+ Emmitt Thomas was named to the Pro Football Hall of Fame. I'm going to take a guess here -- and assume it was for his years as a cornerback with the Kansas City Chiefs, and not those three games when he was Interim Head Coach of the Atlanta Falcons.
+ Instant Message to everyone who might be looking here for a Super Bowl prediction: Why? I mean, I've seen camels and gorillas on TV predicting this game - and their handlers would probably tell you the animals have a better track record.
SCHEDULED MONDAY: Our own version of a Super Tuesday preview....
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