14 SEP 07: KING FISH

How can someone be both happy and appalled at the same time? When you watch a baseball team win a championship at home, and see hardly anyone in the stands to support them. It's as if Columbus residents saw dark clouds in the sky, and automatically assumed the Golden Park fence would cave in again.

BIG PREDICTION UPDATE: The Columbus Catfish proved me wrong Thursday night, but I don't mind at all. They won the South Atlantic League championship in three straight games, instead of four. They.... oops, I should say "consecutive" games. I was warned years ago that any news item with "straight" in it might be misunderstood as a statement about homosexuality.

The Catfish unplugged the West Virginia Power 6-0, to sweep the final series. The visitors had only four hits on the night - and I think the last time West Virginia was that powerless, President Kennedy tried to promote development in Appalachia.

The Columbus Catfish not only swept the best-of-five final round against West Virginia -- they were a perfect 5-0 in post-season play. But please, young readers, do NOT try convincing your math teachers that 2 + 3 = 1.

I admittedly was skeptical about whether Thursday night's game would be played. A rainstorm moved across South Commons around sundown, and delayed the game about two hours. Perhaps league officials realized the Golden Park puddles would only get worse in 24 hours.

When WXTX "News at Ten" showed the Catfish leading 1-0 in the sixth inning, I not only knew the game was still going - I knew I had to walk over to Golden Park and see history in the making. Apparently the 10:00 p.m. news isn't shown in local bars, because I was the only person who showed up that late.

The Catfish were in the middle of a three-run sixth-inning (ahem) power surge when I arrived at Golden Park. A few customers actually were leaving as I walked in - so I hope the management doesn't mind my coming in, as a relief fan.

(Leaving in the sixth inning of a championship game? I don't even think the snobby Los Angeles Dodger ever did that, during World Series years.)

This wasn't the first time I showed up ridiculously late to a sports event. During the late nineties I drove to Birmingham, to watch my alma mater Kansas play UAB in football. I had trouble finding my way to Legion Field after dark - but when I arrived at halftime, they let me in free. The game went to multiple overtimes, Kansas won, and I didn't feel like I missed much at all.

But anyway: Thanks to the man who brought a towel to Golden Park, so I could dry off my rain-soaked bleacher seat. Without that, I could have made it a "standing only" crowd - only with plenty of room.

I asked the man with the towel about the size of the seventh-inning crowd, and he told me about twice as many people were on hand at the beginning. Once again, the Golden Park attendance was NOT announced on the public address system - but I fear "Bikes on Broadway" this weekend will draw a bigger crowd.

The Catfish padded their lead in the bottom of the seventh, when right fielder John Matulia mashed a two-run homer. I've become such a longtimer in Columbus that I called them "Aflac runs" - you know, for insurance.

One fan brought a broom to Golden Park, rooting for a Catfish "sweep" of West Virginia. Hopefully that man left right after the final out - before he was hired to clean up the mess in the winning clubhouse.

When the final ground-out was made and Catfish players piled atop each other between first and second base, the Golden Park announcer immediately declared championship T-shirts were on sale "for 20 dollars." Twenty dollars?!?! When you can't get people into field-side box seats costing seven?

I heard during last week's semifinals that the Catfish players do NOT get bonus money for winning the South Atlantic League title. But they received T-shirts right away on the field - so all they have to do is add the words: "I spent six months in Columbus, Georgia, and all I got was...."

The championship trophy was presented at home plate by John Henry Moss, who's retiring after 50 years as South Atlantic League commissioner. Isn't that amazing? He's been a baseball commissioner even longer than Bobby Cox has been Atlanta's manager.

John Henry Moss noted the South Atlantic League broke an attendance record this year. We'd like to thank everyone in Lexington, Kentucky and Lake County, Ohio who made that possible - because from what I saw during the playoffs, Columbus had absolutely nothing to do with it.

The shiny silver trophy was given to Catfish manager Jim Morrison. Much to my surprise, I never heard the Golden Park staff play a single tune by The Doors this season....

Jim Morrison praised his team as not only good baseball players, but upstanding young men. That's reassuring to know - and come to think of it, they certainly don't have the arrest record of the Alabama football team.

I know there was a two-hour rain delay, and the championship wasn't clinched until 11:20 p.m. But the Golden Park crowd which stuck around to witness the trophy presentation MIGHT have totaled 400. That's why I'm appalled, as I write about an hour after the celebration. More people probably will show up next March, for the opening night ceremonies of Peach Little League.

We wrote here last week [6 Sep] that Columbus seems to be a city which loves to play baseball and softball, but not spend money to watch it. When the city wins its first pro baseball title in 21 years before a crowd which may not have topped 1,000, it doesn't make Columbus look good. And it dares West Point to build a nice new "Kia Stadium" next to the auto plant.

By the way, the Catfish become the second team in this part of Georgia to win a minor league baseball title this year. Albany's "South Georgia Peanuts" won the inaugural season of the South Coast League. But it's probably too late to arrange a "clash of the champions" series - because the Peanut players probably have started their off-season roofing jobs.

And the next stop up the ladder for some of the Catfish could be Tampa Bay's AA team. The Montgomery Biscuits are in the Southern League Championship Series right now -- and you don't hear anything about the Biscuits' attendance being in a jam.

So congratulations to our champions - and now a quick check of an otherwise-light news day:

+ Muscogee County school officials revealed an eighth-grader was found with a steak knife at East Columbus Magnet Academy. Suddenly that KFC commercial where a woman eats at a cubicle with a knife and fork doesn't seem so funny.

+ Eight people were named to Talbotton's first volunteer fire department. Yeah, like that town could afford to pay them right now....

+ Forecasters predicted the remnants of Hurricane Humberto could bring three inches of rain to parts of Alabama. That's nice, but that's not my big issue with this storm. I want to know if poker star Humberto Brenes put on his jester's hat and danced around, to celebrate having a hurricane named after him.

COMING THIS WEEKEND: Columbus becomes an animal kingdom....

This blog has thousands of visitors each month, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 2997 (+ 94, 3.2%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-07 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.