19 SEP 07: THIS OLD BUREAUCRACY

Suppose you wanted to paint your house - but you had to pay City Hall 200 dollars to do it. That sort of issue came up at Columbus Council Tuesday. And no, it was NOT a scheme involving hiring prison inmates on a "work release" program.

Several residents of Columbus's Historic Districts complained about proposed new city fees for improving their property. Any sort of renovation on a house would cost 200 dollars - and this may have a clue of what will happen, if the Georgia House Speaker gets all the property taxes abolished.

The evening news showed a schedule of the proposed new fees in Historic Districts. They're for improvements which have had no charge before....

+ Room additions: $200. In the district where I live, this wouldn't be easy. Space is so tight, extra rooms might have to connect with the next-door neighbor on a top floor.

+ Demolition: $500. But as we've learned in recent years, a homeless person living in crawl space can take care of that with a few matches.

+ Adding a new building: $1,000. For that price, why add a storage shed? Build one of those New York Avenue hotels from the Monopoly game.

WRBL interviewed one resident of a Historic District, who indicated she'd have to pay the city a fee to modernize her kitchen. I never realized the preservationists were this picky. After all, not even old housing projects use wood-burning stoves anymore.

Columbus city officials explained the proposed fees would cover the cost of the Planning Department handling applications. I didn't realize it cost hundreds of dollars for Government Center employees to pass paperwork back and forth. Are they wearing protective gloves to do this now?

But some residents of the Historic Districts pointed out they already have to file building permits with the city for renovations - plus win approval from a Historic Preservation Board. It's no wonder so many of those classic homes near downtown have turned into law offices....

The residents are concerned that steep city fees for renovations will make people less likely to move into Historic Districts. And if that happens, eventually the homes REALLY will look historic - like the peeling paint on the Spencer House along Veterans Parkway.

Columbus Council decided to delay a vote on the Historic District fees for two weeks. The consensus seemed to be that the proposed fees should be reduced. If the Councilors can resolve that, maybe they should talk to some mortgage bankers next....

While I live in a Historic District, my apartment complex is far from historic-looking. I believe it was built in the 1960's - and the only history it recalls for me is an old Best Western Motel.

OVERHEARD OVER HERE: A group of people is in an office, and I ask out loud the question we posed here Tuesday.

"I want to know what the city of Columbus is doing to honor the Catfish. They won a title!"

A woman speaks up behind me. "They're professionals. They're paid money to win. So it's expected."

With that bubble burst, let's check other Tuesday headlines:

+ The Phenix City Council approved a budget for the next fiscal year. It includes a 2.5 percent raise for city employees. But in a mild surprise, there was NO motion from Ray Bush to cut the pay of the City Clerk's staff.

+ Voters in Marion and Sumter Counties approved one-cent sales tax questions. So why did they approve such things, while voters in East Alabama said no? Well, you have to admit Sumter County's hospital is in much worse shape right now....

+ Snellville, Georgia police reported a man died after a fight over a woman. The victim was fighting an armless man -- but he collapsed after receiving a head butt. [True/AP] Those spiky men's hairstyles are more dangerous than I realized.

+ Auburn football coach Tommy Tuberville announced he'll rotate two quarterbacks for the rest of the season. Whether this earns him a commercial endorsement from Firestone tire stores remains to be seen.

+ The Atlanta Falcons signed former Jacksonville quarterback Byron Leftwich, one day after signing veteran kicker Morten Andersen. Huh?! Do you mean Doug Flutie wasn't available, to do both jobs?

(Now now, Falcons fans - things could be worse. The managers could have copied Cleveland, and traded away Joey Harrington. Or they could have followed Notre Dame's example, and urged Harrington to enroll in a graduate music school.)

+ Instant Message to Alabama Governor Bob Riley: OK, so your new state tourism slogan is "Sweet Home Alabama." But why announce that in Orange Beach? Doesn't that song say, "In Birmingham, they love the Governor"?

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