27 JUN 07: BABES VS. JOCKS

OK, maybe our title boils things down to VERY lowest terms. But two big events are colliding in Columbus for the next few days. One involves well-trained, hard-nosed athletes. The other involves well-polished.... well, I'd better not talk about the Miss Georgia contestants' noses. I'll assume none of them have had plastic surgery.

On the one hand, the preliminary rounds of the Miss Georgia pageant begin tonight at the RiverCenter. The 41 contenders for the title have been in Columbus for several days, facing early interviews with judges - and trying to keep their winning swimsuits a closely-guarded secret.

On the other hand, it's championship week in the World Indoor Football League. The Columbus Lions began a series of events Tuesday, leading to this weekend's title game - and a few players quietly wished the event were in the same places as Miss Georgia contestants.

The Miss Georgia pageant is the traditional event on the June calendar. The Miss America qualifying contest has come to Columbus for decades - and some people can remember all the way back to when "Miss America" was crowned on broadcast television.

The "World Indoor Bowl" is a brand-new football title game, being played for the first time. It's so new that two announcers on WSHE-AM Tuesday had to make clear it had nothing to do with bowling. [True!]

While these two very different events are competing for our attention, they actually have some things in common. Both are battles for a state championship - or did you notice Columbus is playing Augusta in World Indoor Bowl I?

Both events have big moments involving food. The WIFL Commissioner was interviewed live on radio Tuesday night, at a Phenix City barbeque. The Miss Georgia contestants went to Shoney's for lunch Tuesday - but for some reason, the results of the buffet-eating contest have NOT been released.

Both events have participants practicing right up to the big night. Miss Georgia has chorus lines, rehearsing production numbers. World Indoor Bowl I has lines of players, rehearsing moves which are downright "offensive."

Both events have physical specimens which could make your head turn. Speaking personally, I'm more likely to do this for Miss Georgia Amanda Kozak than a 320-pound football player....

Both events have fun side activities. World Indoor Bowl I's Championship Week will have a golf scramble Friday at Maple Ridge Golf Club. The Miss Georgia contestants usually spend an afternoon at Peach Bowl - wondering why those rental shoes can't match their nice outfits.

Saturday night's big final events begin one hour apart, at places about one mile apart. If you're thinking about "going for it" to attend BOTH of them, please be careful not to get them mixed up:

+ At Miss Georgia, you're somewhat expected to root for everyone. At World Indoor Bowl I, doing that would give yourself away as a first-class wimp.

+ At Miss Georgia, the spectators often wear nice outfits. At World Indoor Bowl I, many fans will wear souvenir team jerseys - which actually might be more expensive.

+ At Miss Georgia, you're not allowed to take food or drink into the Bill Heard Theatre. At World Indoor Bowl I, fans with field-level seats might spill their drinks right onto a Columbus Lion player's jersey.

+ World Indoor Bowl I will allow fans onto the field after the game, followed by a party afterward on First Avenue. Try to do something similar at Miss Georgia, and you could be arrested for stalking.

BIG PREDICTION: I picked Amanda Kozak to win Miss Georgia a year too soon, in 2005. My choice last year didn't do well at all. This year, I'm picking Ashley Foster to win the title -- "Miss University of Georgia." As long as she doesn't wear a Lady Bulldog softball outfit all night, she should do well.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Yes, I know -- some of you are saying there's a THIRD big event in town. Here's something vaguely related to the Little League baseball All-Star tournament. It's a reply to Tuesday's message about Pioneer:

To the lady that said she didn't see up stepping up to be president - Didn't you read that most people didn't even know about the VOTE to begin with. GREAT ADVERTISEMENT about something so important. Plus, the board that is voted in decides who they want to be president, not the parents.

So the message here seems to be: Little League parents shouldn't go overboard. They should just go "board"....

And as if we needed any more blog fan mail, this showed up Tuesday -- and required a bit of editing:

As i was looking on the internet i came across your AWESOME blogs. Some of the content was referring to my dad, Richard Bishop. My dad is probably one of the nicest, funniest, selfless people i know. Now, my father works his A*S off at work and always has. He thinks about what the people want, so when you say in your blog," i hope you like their taste in music", you will probably like to know that my dad has a tennage daughter and a son in college to get some feedback on their taste in music, and gets feedback from the community. So, you keep on writing your blogs, since you have nothing better to do, and my Dad will be actually doing something with his life. Stop being such a d**n hater and realize that if you actually spoke up and didnt hide behind some gay a*s blogs, my Dad would probably listen to what you have to say and maybe consider some of your thoughts. Oh and about the whole ATV case, you come to our house and listen to those ATV's. we can hardly hear our t.v. AND, how old are you, the only people i know who write blogs like this are in 3rd grade!!!!!

Katie

She's talking about Richard Bishop of Uptown Columbus Inc. - and I'm not doubting he works hard. It takes time to figure out what sort of "sidewalk patterns" on Broadway are best for determining where people can drink.

But is Katie really upset with me, or with the person who complained here about Uptown Columbus 19 Jun? The "taste in music" quote came from the e-mailer. Now that we know a teenager has input in the process, the chances for outdoor shows by Dixieland jazz bands may be slim.

This e-mail actually makes history, because I've never had anyone declare this blog "gay" before. My old "Webster's New World Dictionary" defines that word as "joyous and lively" - and that IS what she meant, wasn't it?

It's nice to finally have the Bishop family's side of a dispute in their neighborhood. If you missed this story, a family living next door complained to the TV news that Richard Bishop threatened to have people arrested for making too much noise with ATV's -- even though the vehicles were on their own land. Some of that Streetscape fencing from Broadway might have resolved this....

Of course, anyone can complain to police about loud noise coming from a neighbor's property. A few years ago, I heard a late-night gripe about a well-to-do Columbus family holding a loud high school graduation party. I don't know if officers arrested anyone -- but let's just say the family could have posted bail easily.

And since Katie asked - I'm 48. At least one of the blog writers at the Ledger-Enquirer is even older than that. Check web sites beyond Myspace and Facebook, and you could be surprised by what you find....

We'll hold another message for another day - and now make a quick check of other Tuesday events:

+ Scattered showers dropped rain around the Columbus area. I was in an afternoon downpour in Bibb City, but drove downtown to find no rain at all. And then people say we're not in a big city....

+ Planning Director Rick Jones showed Columbus Council a proposal for developing U.S. 80 east of Warm Springs Road. Among other things, he wants all buildings kept at least 1,000 feet from the highway -- the equivalent of a couple of downtown blocks. It's nice to see Jones is promoting both exercise, and binocular sales.

+ Instant Message to Southern Discount Loans on Buena Vista Road: Now hold on a minute! What's with that sign talking about some "bang bang" for the Fourth of July?! Do you really want Wanda from Fireworks Outlet to come over there - armed and loaded?

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