12 JUN 07: LET THE HEBREWS GO

For the first time in a couple of years, Fort Benning declared a couple of businesses "off limits" to soldiers Monday. The good news is that neither of them are restaurants - so the Chinese delivery places must be learning to "wok the wok."

Fort Benning banned contact with two investment companies registered in South Carolina. One of them is Capital Consortium Group - and this is understandable. New soldiers might get its initials confused with Columbus Consolidated Government, and pay the wrong people for a license plate.

But it's the name of the other banned company which caught my attention: "Three Hebrew Boys L.L.C." Talk about playing to soldiers' emotions - since many of them probably think the mission in Iraq is designed to protect Israel.

(There's an old joke about how you can tell a Jew lives in the South -- He-brews....)

Fort Benning commanders warn agents from the two banned companies could try to persuade people to invest thousands of dollars. But it's all allegedly a financial pyramid scam known as a "Ponzi" scheme -- which should NOT be confused with what the star of "Happy Days" used to do, which was a Fonzie scheme.

Fort Benning fears soldiers and their families have lost more than $100,000 in this investment scheme. How dare these companies rip off G.I.'s of their hard-earned cash! This should be left to the tattoo parlors and men's clubs....

The banned companies actually may be two firms in one -- and they know they've been closely watched. A statement posted on their web site two weeks ago admits they received a "cease and desist" order from the Securities and Exchange Commission. To borrow from long-departed sportscaster Bruce Snyder, the message was: "S-E-C-Ya."

But the "3 Hebrew Boys" claim they're not selling securities. In fact, they claim to be a "ministry" for the glory of God that's teaching "how to create generational wealth." Give them enough money, and they might be wealthy for several generations....

The online statement talks about "saving souls," and refers to several New Testament verses. It makes you wonder if the "3 Hebrew Boys" are only guilty of teaching soldiers how to tithe - to them.

Soldiers at Fort Bragg, North Carolina apparently also have been warned about the "3 Hebrew Boys." You have to admit, those boys are pretty clever - because they're smart enough not to call themselves "3 Jihad Joes."

Monday's announcement made me think back to when the first "off-limits" list was announced by Fort Benning three years ago [30 Jun 04]. The Traffic Light Inn, Cellar's Lounge and Coach's Corner sports bar now are out of business. The Memory Lane club was on the list, but then removed. And the Platinum Club keeps things so private, I'm not sure where it stands.

E-MAIL UPDATE: The Muscogee County School Board approved a budget last week. But that doesn't mean our readers approve of it:

Here we go again... MCSD adding another administrator when we still have children going to school in run down mobile homes,not portable classrooms,but 10' wide shaky. leakey, smelly, falling apart,trailers that would be condemned if they were in a park...

Now now - you'll be glad to hear the school district has a budget for "capital improvements." And as soon as its new central office building is built, those portables might go away.

The Muscogee County School Board examined the first sketches Monday night for a new central office building. It has three floors, 85,000 square feet, what appears to be Spanish tiles on the roof - why, you'd think John Wells outlined it on a trip to Spain several years ago.

The proposed central office building would replace the old Sears store at Macon and Rigdon Roads, next door to the central library. But the reports on the late news didn't answer one very important question. Will there be greenspace in between, or a park?

The proposed central office for Muscogee County Schools would cost about $17 million to build. Trouble is, the district only has about $13 million to spend at this point. I can see it now - Columbus's biggest car wash and bake sale ever....

Speaking of that old Sears store: if you drive down Macon Road, it may appear that the last restaurant from Columbus Square Mall has shut down. But the American Deli actually has moved a short distance away, to a location on Auburn Avenue next to Cici's Pizza. So it's for people who need nachos with cheese twice a week, as an alternative to cheap pizza.

Now a quick warm-up of other Monday news....

+ The "pray for rain" day designated by Georgia's Governor ended with a late-night thunderstorm in Columbus. If you joined in the prayers, thank you. If you're like some church pastors who never knew this special day had been called - don't be afraid. This blog really is NOT that sinful.

+ ABC News "Nightline" finally presented its report on Aflac and executive compensation, one month after taping the annual shareholders' meeting. Apparently reporter Jessica Yellin finally gave up on interviewing the duck....

(Aflac C.E.O. Dan Amos was shown at much more than the shareholders' meeting. He also took ABC's Jessica Yellin fishing at his lake house. They caught so many fish that when Amos retires, he could become the successor to Tom Mann at Lake Eufaula.)

+ Business owners along St. Mary's Road complained to WRBL a planned widening of the street could force them to close. There, there - plenty of available storefronts from the Broadway streetscape project are waiting for you right now.

+ Instant Message to the girl who ran over to my car window, as I waited for the light to change at Airport Thruway and Veterans Parkway: I assume you were part of the group holding signs, promoting a car wash. If not, you were bolder than any woman I've ever seen on Victory Drive.

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