21 JUN 07: ALIEN NATION
So this woman is talking on her cell phone, and she says: "It's like a space alien landed, and nobody noticed it, so everybody turns into space aliens." It's the middle of the afternoon, so she can't possibly be calling that weird "Coast to Coast AM" talk show.
OVERHEARD OVER HERE: The woman who made this comment apparently has spent some time in New York City, and longs to go back there to live. She made a comparison to space aliens, as she described living in Columbus. That's funny - the only green people I've noticed in town are on Spencer High School sports teams.
The woman went on to explain to a friend that Columbus reminds her of space aliens because "everybody knows everybody." I don't recall anyone ever making this comparison at the "Cheers" bar years ago.
As I overheard this cell phone chat the other day, it wasn't clear to me where this woman works. But she told her friend she feels like "I know everybody over 50." This could be a number of places. Maybe a senior center, maybe a veterans' club, maybe Piccadilly Cafeteria....
This woman expressed something else which seems to annoy her about Columbus. When people meet her, "they want to talk for an hour, and you can't get out of it without being abrupt." She's apparently used to doing things in a "New York minute" - which could be anything there from a conversation to a romantic relationship.
Then the woman made a comment about Columbus which completely threw me: "It's great if you're a lesbian." Huh?! Either the men in this city aren't impressive enough for her - or she's been to a nightclub I haven't heard any rumors about.
The rest of that explanation remains a mystery, because the woman stood up with her cell phone at that point and went on her way. I'd overheard a unique perspective about Columbus, from someone who's clearly a transplant -- but someone whose heart may not have made the transplant.
To borrow from Billy Joel, are we really "living here in Alien-Town?" Is Columbus a city of more than 180,000 clones? I mean, beyond the Fort Benning soldiers who all seem to have the same khaki outfits and buzz cuts....
If you're in certain peer groups, it probably seems at times like everyone in Columbus knows everyone else. A few families seem to dominate key governmental positions. One attorney passes on his or her practice to the next generation. And how many baseball-playing children does Russell County coach Tony Rasmus have, anyway?
But I think the woman overstates the situation when she claims everyone in Columbus knows everyone else. Several events in recent years have pointed that out. Sadly, some of them involved violent deaths. But how many Oakland Park residents do you think are known on a first-name basis at Columbus Park Crossing restaurants?
The group "One Columbus" tries to bring the community together in a positive way. It bridges gaps between ethnic groups and neighborhoods. But then, One Columbus is having this year's fundraising golf tournament 30 miles out of town in Opelika....
And as for the people who want to talk for an hour at a time: I understand what this woman means. I've had to put one phone caller to my home on a ten-minute time limit. Otherwise, he might go on for 90 - and not really care if you say three sentences in response.
It's easy to think in terms of stereotypes, and say people talk longer in the "sloooow South" than "thefast-pacedNorth." But before you agree with that assessment, think about this - which part of the country had NASCAR races first?
E-MAIL UPDATE: We keep hearing from readers about the situation at Pioneer Little League. For starters....
In response to your question about whether the coaches really get punished for going to the bathroom [19 Jun]....... the coaches got kicked out of the game for going to the restroom during the game. Rick Chadwick stood behind the backstop to make sure the coaches didn't go back in the dugout. We had our own players as the first base coaches.
Isn't that a bit ridiculous?
Just wanted to let you know.
Lisa Long
This incident seemed so unusual that I simply had to ask the Pioneer Little League President about it. Rick Chadwick told me Wednesday everything was based on the Little League rule book, which he says the critics haven't read. I'm old enough to remember when the big debate in the baseball rule book involved how to handle foul tips.
Rick Chadwick says according to Little League International rules, any player or coach who leaves the premises during a game without an umpire's permission is barred from returning. So this could apply to restroom trips, family emergencies - and parents of opposing teams tempting players, by waving melting ice cream cones in the stands.
Rick Chadwick clearly was annoyed that I phoned him to ask about this topic. He said plenty of good things are happening in 30 Pioneer Little League teams, without "a couple of parents" feeding nothing but negative information to us. But no supporters had written us, until an e-mail reached us Wednesday night. (We spotted that message at our deadline, and you'll see it here Friday.) Maybe the supporters are focused on upcoming All-Star tournaments, while others have nothing to do until next March.
"Enough's enough," Rick Chadwick told me - going on to accuse this blog of focusing on nothing but negative things. Maybe I simply have a blind spot here, but I don't recall ever rooting for Japan to beat the Northern All-Stars last August.
Rick Chadwick further warned me to quote him correctly, or he'll take legal action against this blog. "You do what you have to do, and I'll do what I have to do," he said. That sounds fair enough - and in the interest of full disclosure, I have to do laundry and buy bread by Friday evening.
We have one more e-mail clarification - and a little more:
Allstar coaches are always the coach that had the first place team in their division. I figure I would let you know that. So you don't think that there appointed by the President.Also I will let you know I will no longer write to your blog or read it beacuse of your rude comments. You want people to write to you with there opinions, but then you call the loudmouths. I thought a lot different of you, since I have been reading your blog for a while now.
Oh dear - this e-mail came from one of Rick Chadwick's critics. So now I've upset both sides in this argument. But I was a youth league umpire long ago, so I admittedly have a track record....
My apologies if I offended people at Pioneer Little League on Tuesday with the word "loudmouths." Given the technical problems at the recent Jack Cook Tournament, maybe I should have said "loud speakers."
But we should note one e-mailer in recent days effectively called Pioneer Little League's President a coward. So the critics can pin labels on people they don't like - but my open-ended comment about "all the people" is out of bounds?! Well, summer heat DOES affect different people in different ways....
(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Look for more thoughts about name-calling and labeling in this blog this weekend.)
When we broke this Blog Exclusive on Sunday, we noted we did not go searching for this feud inside Pioneer Little League. People on both sides have fueled this fire, with no real encouragement from us. At least I'm trying to let both sides tell their stories. Journalists in Venezuela and the Palestinian Territories can't really do that....
Can we all at least agree that people on both sides care about Pioneer Little League? Sadly, I'm not sure either side would accept that statement. It's enough to make me wonder if "The Dr. Phil House" is completely booked for the upcoming season.
Now let's ring the bell and return to our respective corners, while we check Wednesday news headlines:
+ A Russell County judge dismissed sexual abuse charges against middle school teacher Sebastian Moore, ruling there wasn't enough evidence. Moore now can return to coaching the Russell County Middle School football team - and the way he's built, I wouldn't want to be a quarterback when he teaches about the blitz.
+ A check online confirmed the Muscogee County Library Board now is posting minutes of its meetings. Now, now, you cynics - I do NOT think they're filed inside the library under "fiction."
+ The Harris County Planning Commission held a public hearing on the proposed big development called "The Grove." The plans include about 300 acres of "open greenspace" - so it looks we've found the next big project for Josh McKoon.
+ The annual Rod Hood youth football camp began at McClung Memorial Stadium. Hood has changed N.F.L. teams during the off-season, from Philadelphia to Arizona - cleverly allowing for sales of souvenir jerseys across Columbus to double.
+ Instant Message to WHAL "Viva 1460": Am I hearing this right - you've moved your studios to the Bradley Theatre? Did Clear Channel move you out of the building on 13th Avenue, to guard against immigration protesters?
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