29 MAR 07: BAD GUYS WANTED?

It sounded hard to believe, and almost a bit absurd. The Muscogee County Prison is full - yet Columbus soon could have a shortage of inmate labor?! Isn't this a bit like Iran recently deciding to ration gasoline among its residents? [True!]

Yet Columbus Public Services Director Rufus Riggs said Wednesday it's true: the city is at capacity for inmate labor, and soon could have a shortage. You don't think it's because the Army relaxed those enlistment rules....

On an average day, about 300 prison inmates are put to work by the city of Columbus. They ride in the garbage trucks, picking up trash. They clean up Government Center offices late at night. And in a worst-case scenario, I suppose the strongest inmate could be signed by the Cottonmouths for a playoff game or two.

As of Wednesday, the Muscogee County Prison held close to 600 inmates. It's considered "full," so a few suspects actually have been kept in Harris County. I suppose there's more room there - not to mention more money in the budget, to buy top-quality pinto beans for dinner.

Apparently only half the inmates in the Muscogee County prison are considered eligible for city work. Merely guessing here, I suppose some could be disqualified for health reasons. Perhaps some are considered high-risk candidates for escaping. And some don't pick up city garbage because, well, inmates have standards to uphold.

But city officials are concerned that the coming influx at Fort Benning will mean too much work for the available amount of prison labor. For instance, there will be more streets of trash to handle - as if prisoners belong to municipal employees' unions, and are guaranteed no more than an eight-hour work day.

City officials have all sorts of ideas for preventing a shortage of workers for Columbus city tasks. One proposal would expand the county prison, so more potential workers could be locked up. You thought it was about fighting crime - not fighting the city budget for employee pay....

The city of Columbus even is considering hiring day laborers, to handle tasks such as landscaping. At least this would satisfy the construction workers -- who would happily let the city get in trouble for using illegal immigrants.

But all of this seems to miss the core issue. Maybe Columbus is facing a shortage of prison labor because people simply aren't committing crimes like they once did. The new mayor is filling those open police positions - but didn't warn us he'd be scaring other potential employees into different lines of work.

If only we had more prisoners, we'd have more prison labor for garbage routes and cutting grass. Trouble is, the "Jail and Bail" fundraiser for Crimestoppers was a couple of weeks ago - so we missed a great chance to make the arrests more lifelike than ever....

Maybe the city should hire a public relations firm, to promote the work opportunities available if you come to Columbus and get arrested. There's plenty of sunshine for outdoor exercise. You can have a great view of the Chattahoochee, while mowing the Riverwalk lawn. Not to mention all the old-style Southern beans and cornbread you can handle....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now to the debate over the dead body, which simply will not die....

To clarify the remains storage issue, as of March 15, 2007 Richard Davis' remains were in a small cardboard box in the DA's office when his parents viewed them. According to all information received by the Davis family, Richard's remains were turned over to that office by the GBI when the trials were over. The skeletal remains have been kept in the DA's office since that time. What type of closet is unclear. One would imagine that it's a place where evidence etc., is kept. We don't think the DA hangs his coat and hat in there as well. But who knows, maybe spending years in that office causes people to be in a terminal state of apathy.

If they are not there now, then they have only recently been moved.

As disturbing as that scenario is, the most disturbing fact is that he is being withheld from his grieving parents.

The Richard T. Davis Foundation For Peace

Are you kidding me?! Well, no I guess you're not. You're saying Gray Conger actually has the body of a murdered Fort Benning soldier in his office! Now I'm wondering if he's planning to rent that office to the Jaycees next October, for a haunted house.

(A soldier's remains in the District Attorney's office?! This is a strange episode of "Monk" just waiting to happen....)

Hoping that didn't ruin your breakfast or lunch, let's move on to a message about Tuesday's main topic:

Re: TV4US

Not sure if you were here back then but just prior to the last two (re & de) regulations of the cable industry. If memory serves, Phenix Cable was quite active in advertising on their own system against it.

What happened though was this…

"In adopting the 1992 Cable Act, Congress stated that it wanted to promote the availability of diverse views and information, to rely on the marketplace to the maximum extent possible to achieve that availability, to ensure cable operators continue to expand their capacity and program offerings, to ensure cable operators do not have undue market power, and to ensure consumer interests are protected in the receipt of cable service. The Commission has adopted regulations to implement these goals."

"In adopting the Telecommunications Act of 1996, Congress noted that it wanted to provide a pro-competitive, de-regulatory national policy framework designed to accelerate rapidly private sector deployment of advanced telecommunications and information technologies and services to all Americans by opening all telecommunications markets to competition. The Commission has adopted regulations to implement the requirements of the 1996 Act and the intent of Congress."

http://www.fcc.gov/mb/facts/csgen.html

As usual, when you mix matter and antimatter… you get a real mess. You will have also no doubt noted that both 1992 and 1996 were general election years too.

Columbus has a fair bit of diversity but nary an overlap in coverage areas between operators… that I am aware of.

In Phenix City… we have Phenix Cable… err, make that 'Cable TV (or nothing) of East Alabama' and maybe two or three Satellite Services… the latter requiring 100 year contracts that demand bodily fluid samples before you finally get a box of electronics dumped on your doorstep with installation instructions tucked neatly into fortune cookies and written in Mandarin Chinese.

Of course, you could spring for the cost of a featured 'professional installation'. This is where two guys in yellowed undershirts (wife beaters) come in a 1973 F-100 and drill holes in your home for mud dawbers to nest and leave strange stains on your patio furniture… but only after duct taping the dish to your mailbox post.

Sincerely.

One of those Phenix City Bloggers

I missed the discussion in this area several years ago about cable regulation. But it's clear that in one area, competition made no noticeable difference at all. Neither Columbus nor Phenix City has real "public access channels," for ordinary citizens to have their own programs. But TV-16 is starting to look that way a little bit again -- apparently needing the money from people paying for the time.

Thanks for your comments - and now let's add a few of our own from Wednesday:

+ Judge Bobby Peters issued an injunction, blocking the destruction of any trees along Interstate 185 for billboards. The city of Columbus asked for this temporary restraining order, because it wants I-185 between Columbus and LaGrange declared a "scenic byway." But of course, some of us consider a creative "See Rock City" sign quite scenic....

+ WRBL showed the Phenix City Police trying out three new Dodge Charger squad cars. They're being tested on the streets, before a decision is made on purchasing them - so if you'd like to help, please call the police dispatcher to schedule a high-speed chase down Summerville Road.

+ WXTX "News at Ten" showed a preview of the first play at the Columbus State University Riverpark campus theater. It's presenting "A Midsummer Night's Dream" this weekend - which seems to indicate this cast considers global warming a real threat.

(Did I see correctly - the C.S.U. theater faculty includes a man named Tim McGraw? If he couldn't get Faith Hill to come to town for an inaugural concert, that's not a good sign.)

+ GPB reported the Georgia Senate has approved the creation of a "don't honor me" list. Residents can file paperwork requesting buildings or memorials NOT be named after them. This could turn into the most complete database of Jehovah's Witnesses in the state.

(This idea could backfire, you know. The Pastoral Institute might buy a list of the "don't honor me" names, and offer discounted courses to improve your self-esteem.)

+ Columbus State's baseball team stomped Valdosta State 13-3 on "Little League Night" at Ragsdale Field. The coaches of the world champion Northern All-Stars were honored before the game. Which reminds me - has anybody heard whether the Columbus Catfish plan to play some games this spring?

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