4 MAR 07: THE TORNADO TOUR

Was it an unadjusted computer, or a human who wasn't thinking? Saturday morning, less than 48 hours after the tornadoes struck, WKZJ "K-92.7" dared to play a Gap Band classic: "You Dropped a Bomb On Me...."

Veterans Parkway reopened in full Saturday night, after police closed a section in the "tornado zone" for two days. Drivers had to detour by using J.R. Allen Parkway and Moon Road. At least the city had enough sense not to add to the overcrowding on Whittlesey Boulevard, around Columbus Park Crossing.

But while Veterans Parkway is open again, the tornado-damaged area has a speed limit for now of 25 miles per hour. The better to gawk at that damaged Eckerd store, after all....

(And for the caller who started telling WRCG's "TalkLine" about the back roads he took to reach the tornado damage - your chances of working at the CIA are now down to zero.)

Several groups volunteered to help the storm survivors Saturday. A Boy Scout troop assisted in cleaning up one neighborhood. Total strangers delivered food and water in the Brookstone neighborhood. And the Texas Roadhouse staff cooked outdoors for repair workers - in the most comfortable temperatures the chefs probably will have all year.

Columbus city crews will start removing the storm damage this week. The city advises you to put your tree limbs in one stack, and your tree trunks in another stack. But if you think you're going to get a waiver on landfill fees -- well, city officials have learned better than that.

Several state officials already have toured the tornado damage in Columbus. Governor Sonny Perdue led a one-hour caravan of cars through the Brookstone neighborhood. He saw several damaged houses - but we HAVE not heard if he plans to buy any of the vacant land.

President Bush visited Americus Saturday, a city where damage is widespread. Executives of Sumter Regional Hospital promise it will reopen, despite rumors to the contrary. Some hospital services currently are conducted at Americus First Baptist Church - and for some reason NOT at a big faith-healing congregation.

One Americus resident was so thrilled to see the President that she called her boyfriend on a cell phone, and let the President talk to him. Mr. Bush then said: "Looks like you have a fine girlfriend." [True/A.P.] When Bill Clinton was President, who knows how that line would have been misunderstood....

President Bush told reporters in Americus the government will try to make sure storm survivors don't "fall through the cracks." In his words: "If you put out a call to this country, this country will respond." At least, as long as the cell phone tower isn't knocked down by the storm as well.

But there are skeptics that the President will live up to the promise to help. I heard one minister doubt Saturday federal help will be very much, compared with government "foreign aid" for places such as the Palestinian Authority. Well, at least the people in Americus aren't likely to blow themselves up....

I attend church with a couple which lives in the Americus area, and escaped the tornado damage. They told me Saturday they lost power until about 9:15 p.m. Friday night. Another member did the "smell test" to make sure they were OK -- sniffing to see if the husband had showered. [True!]

One mother who lives near Americus said her teenage son wanted to go there at the height of the storm to help with rescue efforts - but she wouldn't let him go until after the storm passed. That was at 1:00 a.m. Friday. In parts of Columbus, a teenager leaving home at that hour might have prompted an all-points bulletin.

I knew someone in Taylor County had died from the tornado, but until Saturday I didn't know the details. Our Pastor at church said someone in the Reynolds area stepped outside during the storm, and was "decapitated" by flying sheet metal. So perhaps it was no surprise that the sermon was NOT about stepping out in faith.

Some interesting factoids emerged from Thursday's tornadoes, which I didn't know before:

+ Georgia Insurance Commissioner John Oxendine knows how to fly a helicopter. He took WRBL's Phil Scoggins for a ride over the damage in North Columbus. If both Oxendine and Governor Perdue can do this, Lieutenant Governor Casey Cagle has some serious catching up to do.

+ Former WRBL weather anchor Jeff Donald is now a teacher. I talked with him, as he reported conditions in the Maple Ridge area. But I didn't ask if he gives "First Alerts" of upcoming exams.

+ TV reporter Jon Kalahar's last day in Columbus happened to occur as the tornadoes came through. He went to Richland to report on the damage, went back to Columbus to edit his video - then drove away toward his new job in Mississippi as fast as he could.

E-MAIL UPDATE: We have a backlog of messages all of a sudden. We'll start with one about the storm:

Hats off to Channel 9's Kurt and Derrick for coverage of the approaching bad weather Thursday night..They did a professional job in keeping the viewing area informed and advising people to take shelter..They made the right decision to stay on the air even though "Idol" fans were angry...Thanks Kurt and Derrick..

This person should be happy I'm not posting his e-mail address - because he might get dozens of X-rated replies. I heard a few of the complainers use language that Ryan Seacrest probably has never even said.

(But hold on - wasn't Bruce Lee working behind the scenes on the severe weather coverage as well? And with a name like that, he might have martial arts skills to back them up.)

Here's one more message, which reached us before the tornadoes arrived:

A caller on the morning show seemed to imply that Columbus, Ga is the only city suppose to get new jobs.

The host even came back with a comment on it and the caller said that "you are putting words in my mouth".

From what I remembered hearing that the caller was not only mentioning that some of the new jobs from the "Kia" plant did not make it to Columbus -but - also that the former mayor of Columbus made promises that the jobs would be in Columbus.

Waggoneer - located in Columbus , uses around 98% of Alabama roads to go back and forth from Montgomery - but - were are the jobs based - "In Columbus".

Where's the income reported - in Columbus.

Sure, trucks pay a road use tax, but Alabama came up on the short end of this deal.

I'm glad that Opelika is doing what it can to lure Company's to their City, just look at the Horrible mess Columbus has done to it's roads to get around just because the almighty "Greed" has them blind folded, and if I remebered it right, that the city is blaming the D.O.T. for the problem.

Come on -give me a break, or better yet, give me more user freindly roads to do busines.

Horrible mess? Now wait a minute here! Waggoners might object to that -- since Tenth Avenue and Victory Drive are both four-lane roads, and neither one has shopping center traffic in the way.

If anything, I'd think the Waggoners would be lobbying in Montgomery for the widening of U.S. 80 west of Ladonia. Alabama could benefit from fuel tax money for some new gas stations - especially since the edge of the civilized world seems to be East Alabama Motor Speedway.

More e-mails are coming Monday - but now let's check other items from the weekend:

+ WIOL-FM "95.7 The River" dropped the morning team of Bob and Tom. Starting Monday, the main man will be "Doctor J" - but if you can't see him slam-dunk on radio, how interesting a show will this be?

+ Three Muscogee County high school teams advanced to the state basketball semifinals. The Hardaway and Kendrick girls are going to state, as well as Jordan's boys -- who have about four days to prepare for correcting all the reporters mispronouncing the school's name.

+ Instant Message to South Columbus United Methodist Church: Are you serious with that sign? Sunday's sermon is called "Get the H**l Out?" I thought you wanted worshipers from Baker Village....

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.28 a gallon at Fuel Tech on Milgen Road.... Goodwill Industries accepting donations for storm survivors from 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. at Kmart on Macon Road and Lowe's on Veterans Parkway.... and church attendance on the north side is liable to be way up....

COMING MONDAY: E-mail about Charles Flowers's big move.... and will we have anything from Hurtsboro?....

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