20 MAR 07: SPING FEVR

It officially happens at 8:07 p.m. ET tonight, but the signs of it have been all around Columbus for a couple of weeks. As an e-mail offer told me Monday in no uncertain terms: "SPING IS HERE!"

SPAM-A-RAMA: Yes, the title of the message said "sping." It did NOT say "spring." And it wasn't a special announcement from the RiverCenter, about an upcoming concert by Sting.

The e-mail promotion from a Christian company actually said "Sping is here!" And since I'm in Georgia, that means I'm about to be GA-Sping. As if people with pine pollen allergies aren't already doing that....

This reminds me of how important one little letter can be, and how it can change how we look at things....

+ Instead of spring cleaning, we can have "sping leaning" - which sounds like what a drunk would do outside a bar.

+ College students who normally take spring break would go on "sping beak" -- where I guess you could sit at home and watch the birds arrive.

+ Schools would turn their annual spring dance into a "sping dane" - and maybe invite an exchange student from Copenhagen.

If the TV show you're watching is dull and boring, it's sometimes fun to press the captioning button - because the spelling there isn't always letter-perfect. For instance, Monday night's "Tavis Smiley Show" on PBS had an interview with a man who supposedly wrote the book "Outfocked." The actual title was "Outfoxed" - and let's be thankful the spelling mistake wasn't much worse.

CORRECTED: Then there are times when missed letters aren't the issue -- the order of them is. Take Monday, when Auburn University's Presidential Search Committee recommended Dr. Jay Gogue of Houston for the job. I first saw the name as "Gouge." Some students might look at that, and watch for hidden fees during enrollment.

During my LaughLine years, I often noted for subscribers the different options of my computer's "Spell Check." Here are some REAL examples of what that feature suggested over the last few days:

+ The name of the Columbus Mayor Pro-Tem should be Evelyn Turner UGH. But I don't really think she's that bad-looking.

+ The Phenix City Mayor should be Jeff HEARTEN. The City Manager could tell you that suggestion is wrong.

+ You can donate to this blog not through PayPal, but "Papal." As if he'd simply take a tithe off the top....

+ It doesn't even recognize the word "blogging" - and suggests instead I'm "slogging." When I'm stumped for jokes, that's more accurate than you might realize.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Here's one more item about the visit of a slain soldier's parents to Columbus....

Hello,

In response to today's email discussing Richard Davis' rank; he was an Army Specialist which is not considered a low ranking soldier.

It is morally wrong for the D.A. to keep Richard's remains. If this can happen in what has been such a high-profile murder, how would the D.A. treat victim's families in cases which receive no attention? That's something I'm going to remember in the next election.

JB

Oh dear - this is what happens when you have a blogger whose military knowledge prior to arriving in Columbus consisted of the game of Stratego.

If you've ever played Stratego, you know there are army ranks throughout the tiles - everything except a Specialist. There are Scouts, which can move like rooks in chess. And there's a Spy - which has to take the top-ranking Marshal, or he's as worthless as Valerie Plame will be until she signs a modeling contract.

Let's see if there was anything special, from a busy Monday in the news....

+ Georgia Public Broadcasting announced it will present the controversial RiverCenter concert by Frederica von Stade and Dame Kiri Te Kanawa April 9. Well, it IS considered "educational" radio - so maybe this will include Te Kanawa's lecture to the audience about babies and cell phone cameras.

+ The Columbus Civic Center billboard announced an April 28 concert featuring Kellie Pickler. First she falls short on "American Idol" -- and now she apparently didn't make the cut for "Prairie Home Companion."

(So that makes two big events in Columbus, on what would have been the Saturday night of Riverfest weekend. Suddenly the Historic Columbus Foundation must be feeling very small.)

+ The Muscogee County School Board voted to change the name of Eastway Elementary School to Lonnie Jackson Academy. Hopefully the board also approved the commissioning of a plaque, to add to the Jackson family's big collection.

+ Columbus city inspectors revealed they ordered three carnival rides closed at an Airport Thruway shopping center, and one still was down for repairs Monday night. I hope they're all fixed for Fiesta Columbus in May - because it would only be right to have chili con "carney."

+ State Senator George Hooks of Americus told fellow lawmakers about 250 state prison inmates are helping to clean up tornado damage. How bizarre is this? Prisoners are setting a good example, and looters of damaged property are ignoring it.

+ Char-Broil held a kickoff event in Columbus, to launch a nationwide tour promoting its grills. The fact that no TV newscast showed up for the event should teach this company a lesson. Bring the jobs back, and the reporters might come back.

+ The Georgia Supreme Court ruled unanimously that gift cards do NOT violate state law if they have expiration dates. So if you haven't done spring cleaning of your wallet or purse yet, you'd better hurry....

(The challenge to gift card expiration dates was made by former Governor Roy Barnes - which is ironic, because his reign in office expired far sooner than he expected.)

+ The Georgia High School Association decided to move all final-round football games to the Georgia Dome beginning in 2008. The semifinal games will go back to home fields. We can thank Carver and Shaw fans driving to Atlanta at 5:00 in the morning, for bringing state officials to their senses.

+ The Georgia women's basketball team advanced in the NCAA tournament, winning 76-56 over Iowa State. But the men were bombed out of the N.I.T. by Air Force 83-52. On this night, truly the Force was not with them....

(You may remember when the Atlanta Hawks called themselves "Atlanta's Air Force." Now there's the Georgia Force, only it plays arena football -- and the Hawks are more like a stealth pilot who risks flying too low under the radar.)

+ Instant Message to the House of Mercy: Do I understand this right - you wanted to publicize your application to be on "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" in the media? But you never notified the TV station which shows the program? This may explain why the Valley Rescue Mission is a bit better known around town than you.

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UPDATE 1.....