27 FEB 06: SPORTS IN SPURTS
Sunday night marked the regular-season premiere of a new sports team in Columbus: indoor football's Chattahoochee Valley Vipers. They prepared for the game by practicing outdoors, at McClung Memorial Stadium - so hopefully none of the players has claustrophobia.
The Chattahoochee Valley Vipers play in an "indoor football" league, while the old Columbus Wardogs played in an "arena football" league. I'm not sure what the difference is -- but I used to play indoor football in the living room, and my mother disapproved of it.
From the highlights I saw Sunday night, the Vipers' opening game was a bit behind the Wardogs' premiere several years ago. For one thing, the end zone boards actually have blank empty spaces for advertising....
Was it just me, or did the Vipers logo in the end zones look like it was spray-painted on top of what the Wardogs used to have? This team apparently is so low-budget that it can't afford a can of paint for a base coat.
The home uniform of the Chattahoochee Valley Vipers reminds me of Grambling -- mostly black, with red numbers and golden-yellow helmets. But somehow, I doubt the Vipers will follow Grambling's example and keep the same head coach for decades.
And how about that football the Vipers use? It's actually red, white and blue. It's a bit like the old American Basketball Association -- or maybe something on sale at Toys R Us....
Another area blog complained a few weeks ago the Chattahoochee Valley Vipers were hurting themselves, by a lack of promotion. I've since been told the team never even contacted at least one TV sports department about its preseason scrimmage at the Civic Center. We can't be "on your side" if we don't know you exist.
The Chattahoochee Valley Vipers were victorious on opening night, edging Daytona Beach 48-46. But since no one really knows this league, it could have been a bit like Auburn bringing in Ball State.
Small-scale football can be funny to watch on TV. Earlier Sunday, NBC showed an Arena Football game with the "world champion" Colorado Crush. Aw c'mon - world champion?! Isn't this like calling Tony Stewart the world champion of NASCAR?
Meanwhile, the biggest sports event of the weekend in Columbus was washed away by the rain. The college softball "Leadoff Classic" was canceled Sunday morning, even though the sun was out. Apparently the grounds crew lost its sponsorship deal with The Sandman....
I could understand the Leadoff Classic not having any games Saturday. But were the fields at South Commons THAT unplayable Sunday? Couldn't they have found some jackets from high school football teams to cover the infields?
After all, Auburn was able to play a home baseball doubleheader Sunday against Elon. It's a shame if Auburn University can afford a tarp for the infield, while the Columbus Parks Department cannot - and I don't recall Auburn students approving any one-cent sales tax.
While many softball teams loaded their buses and left Columbus Sunday, the Michigan team stayed in town and had practice at South Commons. After all, back home the softballs probably would be lost in the snow on the ground.
It turns out it's spring break time at the University of Michigan, so the Wolverine softball players are on an extended road trip. They play at Georgia today, then face Troy and Auburn Tuesday. These young women will be so busy, they may not even have time to visit a mall.
(Then again, maybe that's the plan. If this college softball team has any off days in this area, the players might get recruited to build Habitat for Humanity houses.)
Michigan softball coach Carol Hutchins says Columbus ranks among her favorite places to visit. That's nice to hear - but hold on a second. Was she part of the S.O.A. Watch crowd last November?
E-MAIL UPDATE: Our weekend check of the InBox brought a comment about clothing:
Have you seen the new dress code passed by MCSD board? No hoodies next year..Does this mean they are going to open a school store for kids to shop in next year? Where can you find enough zipper front ,none hooded sweat shirts for kids in Columbus to wear? I agree with Mary Sue,sort of a dumb decision..Hark,this is a first for me to agree with Mary Sue..
No, I was unaware of the Muscogee County School Board cracking down on "hoodies." But if they're going to go after hoodlum rappers, it only makes sense....
I haven't really analyzed the dress code approved by the Muscogee County School Board last week. Blame it on the fact that I don't have any children in local schools - and the fact that I'm still old-fashioned enough to actually wear a suit to church.
The Muscogee County School District web site apparently hasn't posted the new dress code, so I couldn't review it Sunday. But one online news report indicates middle school students will be barred from wearing shorts to school next year. That way, boys' legs will be picked on only in physical education class.
The new district-wide dress code also will bar high school girls from wearing short skirts. They'll have to save such outfits for when they get home, and watch videos on B.E.T.
The new district-wide dress code doesn't start until next school year, so Columbus stores have five months to get ready for the change. It probably will take work crews in Bangladesh only a few days to make the adjustment....
By the way: if this is your first time agreeing with School Board President Mary Sue Polleys, mark it carefully - because if she really means it this time and doesn't run for reelection, it could be the ONLY time you agree with her.
COMING THIS WEEK: He's selling a very Columbus product from.... well, somewhere....
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