30 NOV 03: HERE, YOU WRITE THE BLOG
BLOGGER'S NOTE: I've decided to take part of Thanksgiving Weekend off from blogging. Instead, I've compiled a set of jokes others have passed on to me this year. Hope you enjoy them!
It was Palm Sunday and because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the
family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were for.
"People held them over Jesus' head as He walked by."
"Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go, He shows up!"
The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?"
The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."
Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was. Grandma answered, "39 and holding."
Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "and how old would you be if you let go?"
A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, "Don't pay for me, Daddy. I'm under five."
The Church School teacher asked, "Now, Johnny, tell me, do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," he replied, "we don't have to. My mom is a good cook!"
"Oh, I sure am happy to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother's side. "Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."
The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?"
"I heard him tell Mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit."
My husband bought me a mood ring the other day. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it
leaves a red mark on his forehead.
Then there's the one about U.S. Airways introducing a special half-fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the P.R. department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes, sir," the new employee replied.
"Well, then, that makes everything just fine. After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you." (Thanks to Sandy Collins in Lee County, Alabama for all of the above!)
I've been playing "The Sims" video game a lot lately and I keep dreaming I'm one of the Sims. What an exciting life I lead.
(From Kristen Eve in Memphis)
Your hamlet sounds remarkably like mine. It's a simmering stew of the old-money (we call them the WWDD's--- When Will Daddy Die?).... (From Diane Welker in Clarksville, Tennessee)
"S-O-A - Same Old A**holes." (From a Columbus TV employee whom we're keeping anonymous)
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