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5 NOV 03: A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS
The people spoke Tuesday night about a one-cent school sales tax in Muscogee County. But the vote was so close, the final numbers didn't come until about 11:30 p.m. -- so the people apparently spoke out of both sides of their mouth, making things hard to understand.
Unofficial final returns show the Muscogee County school sales tax passed by 279 votes, out of nearly 23,000 votes cast. (11,537 for, 11,258 against) The margin was SO CLOSE that I suggested they flip a penny to decide it.
(The No side of the question had to be stunned by the outcome -- since after all, you can't spell SPLOST without "lost.")
The one-cent school sales tax came down to about six votes per precinct. Who knows how different things could have been, if that overturned tanker in Phenix City hadn't kept people from getting to voting booths on time?
Because of Tuesday night's vote, the sales tax in Muscogee County will go up to - well, how high WILL it be? Opponents of the tax made it sound like it'll be eight cents. But one more penny actually makes it SEVEN cents -- so maybe the No side is volunteering to pay a little extra.
To hear the "Vote Yes" side tell it, Tuesday night's vote also means school cafeteria kitchens now will be air-conditioned. So much for my bright idea -- to expand the Valley Rescue Mission's annual "Fan Club" campaign.
Your blogger spent Tuesday night at the Government Center, watching the votes come in from across Muscogee County. Was it dramatic? Was it a drawn-out bore? We kept a timeline, you decide....
7:43 p.m.: Election supervisor Nancy Boren tells a man in the West Wing of the Government Center, "We need to give 'em something...." I assume she's talking about partial returns for The Mass Media. But then again, maybe she has to pay some people twice the gas mileage to drive the results downtown.
I'm told the first precinct to have returns arrive at the Government Center is #48, which is Midland Academy. Either not many people voted there, or somebody got away with breaking the speed limit.
7:46 p.m.: Election staffers at the Government Center explain the ballots are brought in through a color-coded system. Blue bags are brought by "advance runners" from precincts. Orange bags have voting supplies and such. Sadly, no one ever brings in a green bag - as in a pizza delivery.
One election worker walks by saying noisily: "Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!" - reciting the words of a new Dodge truck commercial. A friend of mine quickly points out we don't know if that ad sells cars. Maybe not, but we know it makes some people sound weird.
7:48 p.m.: An election board employee named Andy asks me for no clear reason: "You don't know anyone who gives cheap lobotomies, do you?" I could use a little extra money, but I'm not stooping to stunts like that.
Andy notices a TV reporter going into a nearby restroom, sees me holding a notepad and comments again: "Ever noticed all these young reporters nowadays are so good-looking?" He quickly apologizes -- which I think is a slap at me for being an exception to his rule.
Andy rephrases his line of thinking a bit: "I think these reporters look so good that they don't have to BE good." I'm not sure Teresa Whitaker would consider that a compliment or not....
7:56 p.m.: As I walk down a hall toward the Election Board office, a gray-haired, gray-bearded man named Joe asks me, "Are you here from I.T.?" No, I'm not. I'm not even here from the N-O.
7:58 p.m.: The entryway to the Election Board office is the unofficial gathering place for reporters, awaiting school sales tax results. Two TV stations are there. The Ledger-Enquirer is there. But NO radio station is represented. Couldn't Robbie Watson find a babysitter for the night?
The strange thing is that no one is waiting from either side of the sales tax issue, pro or con. Apparently this is one of those rare campaigns where both sides actually trust The Mass Media to get the story right.
The Election Board staff hands out a first sheet of vote count numbers. Three precincts out of 50 are reporting, and the Yes side has a 59-percent majority. Thankfully, no one around me is stupid enough to declare the question settled "based on early returns."
8:14 p.m.: "Nancy! We've got help...." says a man to Nancy Boren as another man walks in. Maybe this is the expert from Information Technology. But then again, maybe this guy just arrived from Birmingham -- after helping HealthSouth's Richard Scrushy cook a different set of numbers.
8:20 p.m.: With 12 precincts out of 50 reporting, the No side suddenly has a 55-percent advantage. It's that old song: "First you say you will, and then you won't...."
A couple of concerned women are in the Election Board office, apparently because voting materials were locked inside St. Mary's Road United Methodist Church after the poll workers went home. Staff members try to track down the custodian. In some churches, the Pastor would have enough "faith power" to speak those doors open.
8:24 p.m.: We amble outside the office for a moment, and notice the tall windows of the Government Center's West Wing. They have some noticeable, large cobwebs - a few several stories high. Already I can see one city argument for another
one-cent sales tax increase.
A couple of men are at a table facing the West Wing entrance, handling bags of returns as they arrive. I show them the latest numbers, which are sticking out from my note pad - but my notes are what grab their attention first. "I can't read that!" one says. "You must be akin to my doctor...."
The two men tell me several big precincts on the north side of Columbus still are out, such as Hardaway and Britt David. They could turn the vote around - assuming they're the same rubber stamps for city government they usually are.
8:26 p.m.: A man and woman tell an election staffer about curiosities at their polling place. Five to seven people had blank ballots - where the card to vote went in and out, but no vote was cast. Perhaps these people only show up at the polls to take a long break from work.
This couple goes on to say the new touch-screen voting machines are the most challenging they've ever encountered. "Sometimes you almost have to beat it so the machine will do what we want it to do," the man says. So it's a throwback to TV sets of years gone by....
8:31 p.m.: Downtown parking was at a premium on this night, so I ask the two men at the West Wing table what might be going on across the street at the RiverCenter. "Flash? Splash? Some one-named group," one of the men says. It turns out to be a production of the musical "Fame." So much for that show planning to "live forever."
8:33 p.m.: With 16 precincts now counted, the No side's percentage lead is down to 51-49. This contest is looking a lot more like pro football than college.
8:42 p.m.: With 21 precincts now counted, the Yes side has the lead again at 52 percent. But Republican activist Colin Martin tells someone in the West Wing that "30th Avenue and Eddy had machines that failed." Clearly this north-south problem in Columbus is real - because the south side of town either is getting trashy touch-screens, or bad electric power.
8:46 p.m.: While she awaits final sales tax numbers, WRBL reporter Candice Cook pulls out her Sprint wireless phone and starts playing Pac-Man on it. I've never seen a woman do that before -- especially in a dress and heels.
But I have a flashback, and can't point any fingers at this reporter. About 22 years ago, a feuding utility board in Kansas City, Kansas had such lengthy "executive sessions" during meetings that I actually took a board game to pass the time. (Magnetic chess, I think.) The utility board noticed me pulling it out - and as I recall, the meetings sped up after that.
8:51 p.m.: Columbus Assistant Police Chief Rick Boren is spotted behind the Election Board office counter. He's the husband of Nancy Boren - and explains he's there "to offer moral support." And just imagine the surprise anti-tax groups would have received, if they had started a protest march.
Rick Boren openly hopes his wife will show HIM the same sort of "moral support" when the S.O.A. Watch protest occurs. He says Columbus police will begin preparing for that protest Monday, November 17 - so criminals can mark their calendars for when to strike.
8:53 p.m.: Colin Martin tells an election staff member in the West Wing the sales tax vote "is going to come down to the absentees." He says counts of precincts around town make it appear the Yes side has a lead of 1,100 votes. Later events will suggest at least one vote-counter has a hidden dyslexia problem.
8:55 p.m.: With 28 of 50 precincts counted, the Yes side leads by about 300 votes. This question truly has become about as tight as opponent Jim Evans's wallet.
9:09 p.m.: At the 32-precinct mark, the margin is now only 59 votes. Five minutes later, a 38-precinct report shows only a 35-vote spread. Superintendent John Phillips couldn't stand getting this close to a tax opponent over the last few weeks.
9:18 p.m.: A cell phone goes off in the Election Board office with a very familiar ring - and I challenge everyone in the room to name that tune. No one even tries to guess. Only through an old web posting from a longtime CNN Headline News friend do I learn it's "Für Elise" - proving again classical music gets no respect.
9:40 p.m.: Now we have 48 of 50 precincts counted - apparently all except the absentee and provisional votes. The Yes side's advantage is only 309 votes. Why, some Muscogee County portable classrooms have gaps wider than this.
9:45 p.m.: I openly ask if we're only waiting on absentee ballots now. Andy the election worker replies, "We're waiting on several things...." He's not smiling and cracking jokes anymore - as instead, he's going step-by-step through an instruction book for handling "advance voting" machines in the Election Board office. Maybe this was TOO advanced voting?!
10:11 p.m.: Reporters are in a long wait for final numbers. One of them recalls interviewing Superintendent John Phillips around 7:30 that evening -- and "he smelled of alcohol in his breath." If the sales tax winds up failing, we could be wishing for the Safety Cab program to start early.
The "Vote Yes" committee is having an Election Night party down the street from the Government Center, at the
Wyndham Hotel. To me, this is a shock. The way opponents talked, I thought surely the Yes side would meet at Columbus Park Crossing.
10:15 p.m.: We overhear an Election Board staffer say on a cell phone: "We just got the last precinct in...." That'll teach the school board to hold these votes on the night of a Cottonmouths home game.
10:24 p.m.: The Assistant Managing Editor of the Ledger-Enquirer is told by phone to ask what sort of vote margin is required for an automatic recount. This raises an interesting question: what sort of background does the Election Board have? Shouldn't the members have to pass a math proficiency exam every couple of years?
10:28 p.m.: After 48 minutes of waiting, reporters are shown a vote count with "partial absentee numbers." Somehow I suspect dentists could have partials ready in less time than this.
10:47 p.m.: Nancy Boren comes out and assures reporters final numbers should be ready in about ten minutes. "We're finalizing the vote," Boren says - but she doesn't explain exactly what that means. Do they have to go to Walgreen's and buy wrapping paper for it?
A reporter asks if there are technical problems with the vote count - and Nancy Boren dodges the question. After all, a "computer glitch" to me could be a programmer with sloppy fingers to you.
11:00 p.m.: The late local newscasts begin, with no final numbers from the school sales tax question. Some of us wonder under our breaths if we've moved to Florida or something.
(These are the times I wish I had a boombox. I could have taken it to the Election Board office, held a mini-concert while everyone was waiting and sold some CD's.)
11:09 p.m.: Rick Boren tells someone this is the "longest ten minutes" he's seen in awhile. Apparently he missed last weekend's Georgia-Florida football game.
11:12 p.m.: Reporters now are listening carefully for anything they might overhear from Election Board offices. Suddenly a man says, "It didn't pass!" But as we start noting those words, he adds: "We've already checked with D.M.V., and he's not
registered." Does someone in that office have a hidden camera, to see if reporters will jump to conclusions?
11:13 p.m.: Nancy Boren is overheard telling someone on a telephone, "We're almost there." This could refer to final vote numbers - or board members reaching the limit of their frustrations and walking out.
11:17 p.m.: A Ledger-Enquirer photographer joins the group of journalists at the Election Board office. He reports the "Vote Yes" rally at the Wyndham featured "taquitas." From what I heard earlier, it may have had tequilas as well....
11:19 p.m.: Nancy Boren announces to the reporters: "We're finalizing the absentees. Give us about five more minutes, and
we'll have it done." She's starting to sound like a waitperson at a crowded Waffle House on a weekend.
Even with the long delay, neither side in the sales tax debate has sent anyone to the Government Center to find out what's going on. Maybe deep-down, they're like the 72 percent majority of Muscogee County registered voters - who didn't bother to vote at all.
11:27 p.m.: An older man comes out with the news we've waited all night to hear. "It DID pass, by about 275-280 votes." We'd overheard someone say "four votes" minutes before - but perhaps that was the board voting on whether to head to Denny's for a late-night snack.
The gentleman finally explains the problem which kept Columbus voters waiting for hours. "An absentee ballot card malfunctioned, it had to be recreated, and we had to contact the programmers in Vancouver." Yes, amazing as it sounds -- the Muscogee County sales tax issue may have been settled by computer geeks in Canada.
11:40 p.m.: As Troy State Public Radio plays a dramatic "fantasy" of Tchaikovsky fitting for the moment, we quickly drive to the Wyndham Hotel for reaction to the final vote count. But when we walk inside, we learn the party is over. Was the "Vote Yes" group THAT upset about not appearing on live local television?
While the party is gone, I find three men talking about schools in a room with drinks. One of them looks like tax opponent Jim Evans, and another is Colin Martin. "We won!" is all Martin would say for the record. Uh-oh - which set of bad statistics is he looking at NOW?
COMING THURSDAY: Changing times, at the movies and the markets....
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© 2003 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.