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11 NOV 03: THE NEXT JOE MILLIONAIRE?

What an amazing surprise I had the other day, when this message landed in one of my e-mail accounts: "AWARD-WINNING FINAL NOTIFICATION." I opened it, of course - to see what was so special about this notification that it won an award.

Well, that wasn't quite what the message meant. The winner of the award was ME! Somehow my name was attached to a lottery drawing in Spain on September 30, which won me "a lump sum payment of 3,500,000.... Euros." This was especially puzzling, since I haven't tried marketing my new CD in Spain yet.

Global Lottery International and "World Gaming Board" supposedly selected people for this lottery through a list of three million e-mail addresses and individuals, as well as "only Microsoft users from 20,000 companies." If Bill Gates wanted to give away his billions, wouldn't he use his private foundation to do that?

If you win a Georgia Lottery jackpot, you go to the office in Atlanta and claim your prize. With this lottery in Spain, it's a lot more complicated. I was told to "contact the processing company that have been appointed for the processing of your lottery winning." Not even a Democrat like Roy Barnes came up with a government handout stunt like this.

The processing company assigned to my 3.5 million Euros is the "Euro Credit Commission" in Madrid. But admittedly, alarm bells were going off in my head from the start about this. For instance, the name I was to contact was "Dr. Tomson Powell" - a name that fits in Spain about as well as soccer star David Beckham with Barcelona.

(And that's not all. I was asked to quote reference and batch numbers on "all your correspondence with Mr. Philip Coleman." Even the woman who wrote the e-mail had a first name of Janet! I thought the World War II occupation was over.)

I decided to play along with this e-mail, just to see what happened. I sent Dr. Tomson Powell a reply with my home address, and suggested he simply address the 3.5-million Euro check to one of my account names. If the doctor asked me for up-front money, I had an answer ready -- take it off the top, and send me the rest.

Dr. Tomson Powell responded to my reply Monday morning. He now says I must go through the Spanish Interior Ministry to obtain a "prize claim certificate" - then send that certificate to his office in Madrid to claim the jackpot. No matter where you go, government paperwork always seems to get in the way.

Dr. Powell included an e-mail address for the "Ministro de Interior España" - but alarm bells went off again, because that address is based at Lycos.com . Considering how much money Spain hands out in its "El Gordo" lottery every December, can't this country afford its own web site?

As it turns out, a Google search for the Spanish Interior Ministry shows the government DOES have its own web site, with a very different e-mail address. I've sent that office copies of the two lottery e-mails. Of course, the way things work with me, no one in that office will be fluent in English.

Unbeknownst to Dr. Powell, I also went Google-searching over the weekend for "Global Lottery International" - and it came up on a "fraud-watch" web site, as one of many names of lottery scam operations. I was a bit surprised to find the word "Alabama" was not in any of those names.

Dr. Powell wanted me to send the Spanish Interior Ministry my full name, address, phone and fax number, "international passport number" (my passport is expired) - and an account for receiving my winnings, "including the swift code." I've never
heard of a swift code before. Is that what you find on packages of Swift Premium bacon?

We'll keep you updated on how this curious process is going. If the e-mails are true, I'm about to be a millionaire. If they're false, the senders are about to be broke - and maybe I'll get hired by that MTV show, "Punk'd."

Will you join me now, as we send some Instant Messages....

+ To Mansour's: It's sad to hear your Columbus clothing store is closing - but what did you expect? You never changed that French-sounding name.

+ To the Georgia Baptist Convention: We're glad to have you in town this week at the Civic Center. And we hope members won't be disappointed to learn there's no reason to picket outside Peachtree Mall - since the Disney Store closed months ago.

(These Baptists are a quieter bunch than I expected. I don't live far from the Civic Center, and I haven't heard a preacher with a bullhorn yet.)

+ To WCGT TV-16: Do you ever plan to come back on the broadcast dial? Or are you giving a new meaning to a "low-power" television station?

+ To NBC News reporter Lisa Myers: Why did they put you, the "Senior Investigative Correspondent," on Monday night's story about a "National Leadership Award" fund-raising drive by Republicans? Did you know I revealed this to Blog readers months ago [12 Jun] - or do I have a finder's fee coming?