26 NOV 04: POOR IT OUT

Who could possibly call to complain on Thanksgiving Day? A 72-year-old woman did Thursday night - but thankfully, it was NOT because I failed to invite her out to dinner.

This woman watched the Thursday evening news, and was upset when she heard a child explain what she was doing on Thanksgiving Day at Valley Rescue Mission: "Helping poor people...." It left me wondering if the mission ever serves "Po' Boy" sandwiches.

"That was so slack," the 72-year-old woman said of the girl's choice of words. To which I thought to myself - "slack?!" Is this the new politically correct way of saying stupid?

This woman said someone should have corrected the girl's choice of words - because we shouldn't call people "poor." This woman also sounded like a Christian. But only later did I recall that word "poor" occurs in the King James Bible more than 150 times.

I must admit I also was taken aback by the girl's words. The "CNN Stylebook" from my former employer says you're NOT to use "poor" in news scripts. People are called "low-income" because poor is considered a pejorative term. If Jackie Gleason was still alive, he'd have to call his character the "economically-disadvantaged soul."

This 72-year-old woman wondered if the girl who said "poor" was on the Valley Rescue Mission staff. No, she was a volunteer serving Thanksgiving dinner - and hopefully she was kept in a back room, so diners didn't cuss her out on the spot.

I gave the caller the girl's name, and the woman apparently wrote it down. But when asked, she did NOT want to contact the girl. "I'm 72 years old. I can't correct a child." So at what age does that become illegal?

As we talked about the girl's choice of words, I recalled a sermon I heard on religious radio Wednesday night. The preacher said adults should NOT try to rush children through adolescence into adulthood. For one thing, Hillary Duff's album sales would drop dramatically....

"She's an immature person," I explained to the 72-year-old woman. "You should expect her to say immature things."

"But you're missing my point," she replied. "For every immature child, there's an immature adult...." I wish I'd known that when I was a boy, and didn't want to clean my room.

I don't know if the child was corrected by her parents off-camera for saying the word "poor" or not. But it's another example of why I wish we could return to the days when "P.C." only meant Phenix City.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now for our next complaint! Perhaps the slugfest over the Muscogee County Marshal's race may not be over yet. Remember Eduardo Diaz?

In response to the post of Oct 27 04. All the statements suddeth made about me are not true. First of all my background is not Atrocious,and he just violated my rights under Employment Law and under the privacy act of 1974. No one is allowed to make a statement like that about ones background. Maybe I need to file suit against him for violating my rights. I think that fair!

I'm not sure if Mr. Diaz needs to file a lawsuit - but I'm sure many attorneys in Columbus need the money from representing him.

You may recall Eduardo Diaz accused Marshal Ken Suddeth of promising him a deputy's job, then not giving him one. In reply, Suddeth told your blog a background check on Diaz showed he was "atrocious." If that word is a violation - well, can the Marshal legally call Diaz a "poor person?"

By writing "all the statements.... are not true," Eduardo Diaz denies ever threatening to burn down Marshal Ken Suddeth's house. Diaz denies his mental health is "very questionable." But we still don't have his promised videotape of Suddeth staggering out of Chef Lee's restaurant. You don't have to wait for the Kenneth Walker tape, you know....

Isn't it amazing that Ken Suddeth's comments about Eduardo Diaz may violate a "privacy act of 1974?" Apparently the Marshal doesn't have any privacy - at least from video cameras watching him outside Columbus restaurants.

After Eduardo Diaz's first e-mail, we received a message promising the "SSPVLC" would check his case [29 Oct]. A Google search reminded me that's short for Southern States Police and Veterans Labor Council -- a group which used to
sponsor bingo games on South Lumpkin Road. So why did they stop? No game calls in Spanish?

So is anybody at all happy this Thanksgiving weekend? Thankfully, another e-mailer is:

HI, I just stumbled across you blog. Very nice..I'm in Columbus also where my husband is stationed at Ft. Benning. I also attend 1st Baptist. I saw you made reference to the Thanksgiving banquet honoring the 3rd ID and 36th Engineer Group [22 Nov]..I have to add to your comments that Sen Chambliss gave an outstanding and very uplifting speech that night as did Gen Freakley. The soldiers seemed to enjoy their dinner and we enjoyed their company. Glad to have found your blog...I haven't run across any local one's yet! Julie Swartz

Thanks for stumbling upon us, Julie -- but be careful. Someone might videotape that stumble, and threaten to pull it out in a future election.

It's nice to know Sen. Saxby Chambliss uplifted the soldiers at last Sunday night's banquet. But let's be real here. I can't think of any politician who would NOT give an uplifting speech to military.... no, wait. Georgia's Cynthia McKinney just won her U.S. House seat back.

Now other notes from a thrilling Thanksgiving - and I hope it was for you:

+ "Seussical the Musical" opened at the Springer Opera House. But some people were disappointed when the man the Ledger-Enquirer dubbed "The Cat in the Hat" several years ago did not perform. Maybe someday Jim Rhodes will be allowed to wear hats at Columbus Council meetings again.

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths planned to play their first Thanksgiving night game at the Civic Center. But it was postponed, when the visitors' bus broke down on the way from Jacksonville. Just until those hockey goons get their hands on the bus line's mechanic.

+ The Eufaula Tribune reported Georgetown, Georgia would host a Saturday night card of "good, old-fashioned wrestling." How old-fashioned is this, really? Was this before or after villains started hiding brass knuckles in their trunks?

(Hey, wait a minute - brass knuckles?! Does any wrestling troupe plan a visit to Lumpkin? Maybe local residents can help raise money for a full-time librarian.)

+ Instant Message to Target Stores: I did NOT ask for a member of your "Wake-Up Crew" to call me at 6:00 a.m. about your holiday sale. So please leave a message on the answering machine I'm leaving on all night.

(But come to think of it - why hire Heidi Klum and Ice-T to make Target's phone calls, like I saw in the TV commercial? This is one job where Salvation Army bell-ringers could do just as well.)

COMING NEXT WEEK: A fond farewell for a longtime landmark....

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