16 JAN 08: I-PROFIT?
"A ticket for two," the mailing offered me and a guest. Wording like this tells you it's NOT from the Columbus Civic Center - because it's hardly ever crowded enough to require two people to sit in the same seat.
The ticket for two invited me to attend a "Premier Conference Package" today at the Hilton Garden Inn. There's a lunch and a dinner session, with a free meal and business organizer following a "90-minute presentation." American Idol made people watch 30 extra minutes Tuesday night, without any of those extras.
The mailing asked me to R.S.V.P., if I wanted to attend a program on making money through the Internet. The letter hinted at ways to do it, with logos for Yahoo and eBay. So I know where the auction sites are - now all I need is advice on how to put amazing images on slices of toast.
So am I going to the garden today for free food and money-making advice? No, I'm not - because this ticket and mailing looked very familiar to me. I've seen it all before, at another Columbus hotel....
CLASSIC BLOG/30 JUL 03: I was invited to dine for free at the [Four Points] Sheraton, by the promoters of an "Internet Cash-Flow Conference." In fact, I was invited to this via e-mail and postal mail at least six times. I should have accepted ALL the invitations, and filled a van with hungry people from the House of Mercy.
The mailing for the Internet Cash-Flow Conference promised to show me how a home business on the web could make me amazingly wealthy. As someone whose old web site folded in less than three years without ever turning a profit, I went prepared to slither under my chair in embarrassment.
Bad sign #1: My confirmation e-mail said "directional signs will be posted in the hotel lobby." There was only one sign, for a company I'd never heard of - and the Sheraton didn't know how to spell "Azalea Room."
Bad sign #2: The confirmation e-mail warned "all materials will be handed out before 6:00 p.m." Ha! The free business organizers we were promised were given us only as we walked out the door at 8:15.
Bad sign #3: The sign-in guy promised the Azalea Room doors would open at 5:50 p.m. They let us in at 5:55 - and the last several rows were cordoned off with yellow tape. As I said to the woman next to me, "Thankfully the tape didn't say 'Crime Scene' on it."
Our presenter was a man named Jason, who admitted right up-front his goal was to get us to sign up for a SECOND seminar - an all-day affair near the Atlanta airport in two weeks. We could avoid the $2,995 tuition by paying a mere $20 "processing fee" at this conference. How big is Jason's commission if some sucker pays full-price?
Jason admitted he'd read life-planning books by people such as Stephen Covey, but they didn't work for him. He says he arranged his life strategy, "and then life happened." Tell me about it -- I just got booked to work an all-night shift for the next several weeks.
Jason listed the results of some survey (I think it was his own) on the top ten reasons people make extra money. The bottom reason was to donate to charities - which I guess at number 10 makes it the tithing principle.
At one point Jason had everyone in the room close their eyes and "daydream" about what they could do with thousands of dollars in extra money. I did this a bit half-heartedly - because I thought he might sneak by and steal all the notes I was taking.
Jason declared the popular saying "knowledge is power" is NOT true. He said the proper equation should be "knowledge is value, and value equals income." Especially when you have knowledge of which stores off the best values....
Jason listed four characteristics of successful people - then had everyone in the room stand and affirm, "Yes I do" have those characteristics. Considering the first one is "a burning desire for money," [true] I felt awfully guilty and greedy.
As for making money on the Internet, Jason said anyone can have a web site - but the key is successful marketing. This was about as big a revelation as learning the key to winning car races is gasoline.
Another key to Internet success, Jason revealed, was offering things for free -- because it beats buying things. Absolutely! So our thanks to Jason for the free dinner - and we invite you to make this free blog a success by sending us a donation of any size.
Bad sign #4: Jason declared anyone can sell anything online, no matter what your skin color - because "the Internet can't discriminate." So why does the agreement to attend the second workshop rule out web sites which spread hatred?
It was 7:45 p.m. before the Sheraton staff brought out dinner - pasta salad, followed by turkey, ham and cheese sandwiches. After reading and hearing testimonials making thousands of dollars in monthly sales, I was expecting at least a sirloin.
BLOG UPDATE: Back in the here and now, WW and Associates withdrew its offer Tuesday to buy several Muscogee County School District properties. So the old Baker High School will stay right where it is - and keep slowly deteriorating as it has for years.
Let's see what else made news on Tuesday:
+ A source I tend to trust is telling friends Bruce Frasier has left the WRBL sports staff. That leaves Jack Rodgers as the only person in the sports office - and gives Susan-Elizabeth Littlefield another opportunity to add to her skills resume.
+ Columbus NAACP President Bill Madison confirmed a mother of one of the "Jena Six" students talked with him about local schools. But Shaw High School refused to comment on rumors that two of the Louisiana teenagers have enrolled there. That ought to increase attendance at this weekend's Martin Luther King Day parade....
(Bill Madison says he told the "Jena Six" mother about Muscogee County Schools. Considering his recent complaint about the school district's retirement system, I'm surprised he didn't tell the woman to move to Hamilton or Cusseta.)
+ WXTX "News at Ten" showed an etiquette class at Clubview Elementary School. I assume special care is taken in these classes - and even the butter knives are paper-mache.
+ Two Greenville, Georgia city council members resigned -- and city workers told WRBL another councilor is refusing to sign their paychecks, apparently in a dispute over the new mayor. Before long, the only "green" in Greenville could be in the bank vault.
+ Georgia House Speaker Glenn Richardson told a state Chamber of Commerce breakfast property taxes are "18th-century" and should be abolished. He said it's time to stop "taxing things, and start taxing consumption." Huh?! Isn't that still a tax on things - as in how often you use them?
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