6 JAN 08: FIVE FOR FIGHTING?

Today is a big day for this little corner of the Internet, as we mark five years of blogging! It's tempting to declare it the equivalent of 50 Internet years, and ask for gifts of gold - especially with gold trading at about $800 per ounce.

BLOG SPECIAL EVENT: Our first blog entry occurred five years ago today, 6 Jan 03. We called it "That was an Epiphany," to mark the inauguration of Columbus Mayor Bob Poydasheff. If you can remember which company used that phrase in a TV commercial, you're showing your age a bit....

The original idea of this blog was to write humor about anything that I found in Columbus, Georgia -- more about my actions than events in the city or metropolitan area. There was a time when I only blogged two or three times a week. Then I found out people really were reading - and the pressure to impress slowly has grown from there.

As time went on, I found more and more interesting topics in the area which could serve as material for a humor blog. From reviewing the archives, the current format seemed to develop in November 2003. Plenty of fascinating items came together then - and it's a wonder I didn't declare Tommy Tubervlle the director of WHINSEC, or the new Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court.

Some people have wondered where we get our ideas for blog topics. Many come simply from following local news. And at first, many topics came from basically living my life - encountering curious, strange or downright funny things. It was "Seinfeld" without a Kramer, and often longing for an Elaine to be by my side.

This blog wasn't really a source of breaking news for its first couple of years. At least, I didn't label anything as a "Blog Exclusive" back then - even though I probably was the only person in Columbus who was writing about birds getting stuck in the vent, above my kitchen stove.

As time went on, readers began sending this blog tips about all kinds of things in the area - items which no local news outlets seemed to have. One of the first came in January 2005, when we broke the news that Aflac's Dan Amos had married his second wife. In January 2008, of course, this simply isn't good enough. We need paparazzi pictures of the couple hurrying away from St. Simons Island.

Then came the week in March 2005 when we sat in federal court, monitoring a pregnancy discrimination lawsuit against WRBL's news department. No other reporters showed up until the day of closing arguments and the verdict - well, not counting the reporters who were called to testify, and they didn't stick around to take notes.

We were tipped off to that lawsuit as well -- and the tips which led to scoops seem to have started a trend. By my count, we had 15 different "Blog Exclusive" entries last year. They ranged from television news and radio talk to a damaged church sanctuary. And I'm not even counting that schematic drawing of the school superintendent's private restroom....

Yet as I pondered the five-year mark of this blog in bed late Friday night, I admittedly couldn't get to sleep. I was troubled by what I fear the blog is becoming - the number-one spot in metro Columbus for people to vent, complain and whine. If it simply doesn't fit in the small space of the Ledger-Enquirer's "Sound Off" column, it might come here.

Consider some of the things e-mailers have complained about here in the last 12 months: The Muscogee County School Superintendent, Pioneer Little League coaches and directors, the Phenix City Manager, the Pastor of Cascade Hills Church, countless residents of Hurtsboro -- and even a little German restaurant on Victory Drive. It's as if the city slogan is simply, "What Progress???"

Perhaps some of the complaining here stems from the fact that there's no outlet for it on local radio anymore. WEAM-AM has a local talk show in the afternoon, but that's merely for sports - and I don't think the hosts would consider church gossiping even a spectator sport.

Perhaps some of the complaining comes from the nature of our country. Like it or not, the United States was founded on the basis of complaints against the British crown. People still find reasons to be "tea'd off" with the government today....

(In fact, it's a wonder the 13 colonies didn't invent the "Festivus" holiday - you know, with the annual airing of grievances.)

Perhaps some of the complaining stems from the things I've written to spark the discussion. When I last appeared on WLTZ's "Rise-N-Shine" in November, host Nan Floyd said people knew about my blog - and I jokingly called it "infamous" and "notorious," it was noteworthy that she didn't disagree with me.

While I strive to be humorous here, I do find strange things on occasion that don't seem quite right to me. Perhaps that makes me come across as a complainer - but my purpose is to get people thinking in better, more "right" ways. Maybe not right enough for hardline Republicans, but you know what I mean....

My background is with a church association which tends to complain about all sorts of things wrong with this "present evil world." Perhaps you're familiar with fundamentalist groups such as these. If something new comes out, they analyze it carefully, find at least one flaw in it, then sternly preach against it.

This association also would find fault with making New Year's resolutions. People invariably fail to keep them, the ministers would tell you. And besides, God meant for the calendar to start in the spring -- which poses a problem in the Southern Hemisphere, which perhaps God didn't want humans to populate in the first place.

Have you heard anyone make a resolution to stop complaining in 2008? I can't say I have - but as I reflect on five years of blogging, maybe it's time some of us did it. And since we're more than five days into the year, I think we've past the point of being automatically disqualified based on our use of a pagan calendar system.

If this sounds like a difficult thing to do, here's a suggestion: make your criticism constructive. Mix encouragement or positive words with your complaint, or offer a way for doing things better. That way.... wow, I'd better watch myself. I'm going to start sounding like a columnist for "Parenting" magazine.

I've personally found plenty of things to enjoy, as I reflect on living in Columbus. On this fifth anniversary of blogging, I leave you with some of them in our blog picture section:

+ A souvenir puck from the Columbus Cottonmouths' first championship season in 1998. Yes, I keep it in my freezer during hockey season.

(And what do you know - it's "legends weekend" for the Cottonmouths. Coach Jerome Bouchard scoring two goals in the "old-timers game" didn't seem to tell the full story. How many fights was he in?)

+ An inflatable baseball from the old Columbus RedStixx, and a "mini-basketball" picked up when the Riverdragons played in the National Basketball Developmental League. OK, neither team is in town anymore - but their potential value at an eBay auction goes up every day.

+ A picture of my neighborhood from the last time it snowed in Columbus, around 2001. Due to global warming, we might never see a scene like this again.

SCHEDULED MONDAY: We resume blog business as usual, with some leftover e-mails and other things....

This blog had more than 43,000 visitors in 2007 -- up 53% from 2006! To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1715 (- 197, 10.3%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.