1 JAN 08: YOU MAY ALREADY BE A WINNER

No party invitation? No problem! We didn't have one Monday night, either -- so we interrupt your viewing of some midnight music special for the premier awards show of 2008. Oops, that's PREMIERE. As in the first one....

We continue an annual blog tradition by presenting the Burkard Awards - honoring all sorts of accomplishments of the past year, for better or for worse. These are in no particular order -- and there's no particular prize for them, either. After all, what if I give someone a gift card that's the wrong color?

So before the Writers Guild of America shows up and begins picketing our online show, let's hand out the awards for this year....

+ Most annoying construction project: The sewer line replacement in South Commons, next to McClung Memorial Stadium. It's interrupted the Riverwalk, hindered parking at big sports events - and when it rained Sunday, Victory Drive might as well have become a fishing pond.

+ Most annoying construction project, Alabama division: the Streetscape work on Broad Street in Phenix City. I thought people actually wanted to hurry past City Hall....

+ Newly elected official who made the biggest impact: Cathy Vaughan Williams of the Muscogee County School Board. But why is she defending the new administration building, after voting against it?

+ Newly elected official who made the least impact: Columbus Councilor Mike Baker. This may be the first time we've even mentioned his name since his inauguration.

+ Busiest elected official: Marion County Sheriff Horace Snider. When you don't have time to announce the arrest of an escaped murder suspect for two months, you're simply too busy.

+ Radio program that local elected officials were most glad to see disappear: "Talkline" on WRCG.

+ Radio program that government critics most want to see restored: "Talkline" on WRCG.

+ Best guilty pleasure: Chocolate glazed donuts from Golden Donuts for 65 cents each. Starbucks can keep those fancy top-dollar scones.

+ Best new local motivational tool: Playing videos of Carver High School's football comebacks.

+ Local executive who's gained the most power: Billy Turner of Columbus Water Works. The drought proved we're at his mercy more than we ever realized.

+ Worst local stock: Carmike Cinemas, which has lost three-fourths of its value since last summer. AMC can make a buyout offer anytime it's ready.

+ Nicest surprise involving a car dealership: Carl Gregory Honda on Northlake Parkway. The service waiting room not only has cable TV, but the staff pops popcorn in the afternoon - like it's a small-scale Hollywood Connection.

+ Most satisfying surprise involving a car dealership: The Georgia Governor's Office of Consumer Affairs, for listing years of violations by Bill Heard Chevrolet.

+ Most controversial church: Cascade Hills. Maybe other churches have whispering campaigns against their pastors - but at least they're kept to small group meetings, and out of district court.

+ Scariest church sign message: Central Baptist Church of Phenix City. Its current sign says: "Looking to Jesus in 2008." Some might misread that "to" as a "for."

+ Most confusing shopping complex: Tigertown in Opelika. When you have to drive around for seven or eight blocks to find a Kroger store which has minimal signs, you wonder if this was built by petroleum companies.

+ Biggest sports disappointment of the year: The San Francisco 49'ers. I adapted them as my pro football team of the year, since I turned 49 in August - and they only won four games. So I guess it's downhill for me from here....

+ Most disappointing quitter of the year: Columbus native turned Seattle Seahawk Mack Strong. He retired from pro football several weeks before Bobby Petrino did.

+ Coach of the year: Jim Morrison, for managing the Columbus Catfish to a South Atlantic League championship in a city where pitifully few people cared. He actually tipped his hats to the players as he accepted the trophy -- but notably did NOT do so to the crowd.

+ Coach most likely to demand any job or salary he wants: Carver football coach Dell McGee. If Brian Billick turns down the Atlanta Falcons, he might want to give them a call.

+ Best name for a sports athlete: Auburn wide receiver Tommy Trott. If he played for California, the students would call him "Trotsky" and not even blink.

+ Cutest TV reporter: Call me a wimp, but this is a tie - Jennifer Serda of WRBL and Stefanie Tiso of WLTZ. This is a Big Blog Question just waiting to happen.

+ Comeback of the year: Jason Dennis. He came back to Columbus television from Birmingham, you know.

+ Good guy of the year: Attorney Gary Bruce. After all, his commercials say he is.

+ Local fashion trendsetter of the year: WRBL meteorologist Bob Jeswald. He started the "casual Friday" look on TV before anybody else -- even though I thought that fad was fading out.

+ Most subtle decor change: Several places lacking Christmas decorations. The big TV stations had none on their news sets. And Heritage Park didn't have any lights, much less a tree - making me think those things were water-powered.

+ Beggar of the year: Our count jumped from eight to 12 in 2007, and we give the award to my former neighbor. He said he needed a loan after his roommate entered hospice care - and he wound up spending the money on cigarettes for himself. The roommate reportedly died. The beggar moved out. And I never got my money back - much less any cigarettes.

+ Joke of the year: We asked for your nominations, and this year we have a first - not something we wrote, but someone who was a frequent topic:

"Joke of the Year"...the mare of Hurts-boro....(is there really a mayor there?)

Believe it or not, this was NOT submitted by Constable Robert Schweiger.

(If there is one, Sandra Tarver-Yoe still hasn't contacted us. Next time we visit Hurtsboro, we'll have to walk on the other side of the police station.)

BUT SERIOUSLY: Only after we posted Monday's entry did we learn about the death of Phenix City Manager Bubba Roberts's daughter. Our sympathies to the Roberts family -- and may this be an opportunity for healing wounds across East Alabama.

SCHEDULED WEDNESDAY: A Columbus radio station makes a change.... and we face a lot of questions about one particular church....

This blog had more than 43,000 visitors in 2007 -- up 53% from 2006! To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1773 (+ 37, 2.1%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

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