29 JAN 08: ROBO-COPS

Next week's "Super Tuesday" primaries may not settle the party nominees for President. But it might inspire a law which a lot of Georgians will like. It might even produce new jobs for the state - if you don't mind an increase in the number of telemarketers.

Georgia Senate President Eric Johnson called Monday for a ban on almost all "robo-calls" - phone calls dialed by computer, where you hear nothing but a recorded message. Few things in this life are more humiliating than to say "Hello, hello" to a voice which isn't paying any attention to you.

Eric Johnson's proposal may be inspired by the Super Tuesday presidential campaigning. Someone has been making "robo-calls" challenging the reputation of Georgia Rep. John Lewis. I can't believe that many survivors of the Selma bridge march have died....

Eric Johnson notes Georgia was a leader in establishing the "do not call" list - but it's now been superceded by the federal list. This ban on robo-calls might do something the federal telemarketing bill does not. It might even bar political campaigns from calling you.

Eric Johnson's bill would require live people to be on the line for almost all phone calls in Georgia. But he admits he does NOT want to ban all automated calls -- as he sees a need for some exceptions:

+ Schools calling about children. Did schools really make calls like this years ago - before there was so much pressure for high test scores?

+ A doctor reminding you about an appointment. This proves the optometrists have some strong lobbyists in Atlanta....

+ Employers calling workers. If they've already fired the person asking why you're late for work, you might well be next.

I haven't received any campaign calls concerning Super Tuesday, from either computers or humans. But I think State Senator Eric Johnson has a great idea here -- and I speak as someone who had a high school summer job as a telemarketer. The bosses didn't like it, when I started cutting the price of portrait plans in a desperate bid to get sales.

. An end to robo-calls in Georgia should reduce the number of nuisance calls I get each week. The most annoying ones don't allow you to press a button on your phone, to be removed from the call list. At least you could let out a little frustration....

What sort of robo-calls do you get? A few offers keep reaching my phone, over and over again:

+ An already-approved platinum card, with an $8,000 credit line. They never offer me one in other colors, like teal blue.

+ A "final reminder" that my car's service warranty needs to be extended, in case I didn't receive the reminder in the mail. When your car is almost 14 years old, you know something's suspicious.

+ An "important message for septic tank owners." In my apartment in an urban neighborhood, that message is full of.... well, this IS a G-rated blog....

BLOG UPDATE: "We called him Jake," a man at the Union Springs Police Department said Monday when we called to ask about one of its former officers. You have to admit that Jake is a much easier name to pronounce than Fueasel....

We called Union Springs Monday in hopes of confirming further accusations against current Hurtsboro police officer Fueasel Turner. Neither the City Clerk nor the Police Chief returned our messages -- so this small town may not have received word yet about what a blog is.

Speaking of Hurtsboro, here's a reply to our main topic of Monday:

I would like to clear up one or two things that were relayed to you incorrectly. I HAVE NEVER BEEN EJECTED FROM ANY BUSINESS IN "HURT'SBORO!! I've simply boycotted them! Those reports are stoked by chagrined business owners who I supported with sizeable cash purchases for a decade or more! If you can locate anyone in "Hurt'sboro or anywhere else that I have cheated or left with unpaid bills "Let them speak now; or forever hold their peace!" For your information; I do business INSIDE the bank on a regular basis. The reason I was at the bank the other day was to provide security. I do this on a regular basis because the city fails to see that an officer is present (or even available) at critical periods of the day! I have an arrangement with the Russell County Sheriff - a deputy steps in, when I can't be there.

Sir Richard; you probably recall, that our grocery store closed because of armed violence and no police protection in "Hurt'sboro. It looks like the grocery is going to reopen under new ownership soon. Perhaps the town can struggle back on to its feet! I'm certain of one thing! The new owner will be the beneficiary of better security than has been provided by "Hurt'sboro's inadequate system!

Constable R.J. Schweiger

To my knowledge, the only bank in Hurtsboro is a branch of Auburn Bank. So where are the two police officers when it's open - guarding against looting at the grocery store, while it's under renovation?

But uh-oh - have we been probing the Hurtsboro police a bit too much? I'm hearing an in-depth investigation of the interim police chief was in the works, and we beat the investigators to it. Now that study may be abandoned, revised, restarted - or Hurtsboro will be ignored, making the Constable even more annoyed.

E-MAIL UPDATE: While we were desperately seeking Kerry Washington in Sunday's entry, one reader was distracted by something else....

Richard, I was shocked to read that campaign materials were for sale at the Barack Obama headquarters in Columbus. I've been collecting such things for years but all of mine were free. Would anyone be interested in purchasing a large poster of Senator Gary Hart for President? I got that one when he spoke at Columbus College years ago. It would seem that would be quite a collector's item now.

And not being able to find a babysitter did not deter my daughter from voting in the last presidential election. She stood in line for over three hours with her less than three month old baby in a stroller!

Member of the Columbus Blog Fan Club

To clarify one detail - the "Obama Store" at the Liberty Theatre last week was several blocks from the local campaign headquarters on Third Avenue. Friday's unsold items probably were returned there. And with giant banners being stolen, they might have actually been carried in a trash bag.

We suggest this reader get his/her campaign poster autographed by Gary Hart, while he's still alive and able to do it. If that fails, a poster signed by Donna Rice might be even more valuable - not to mention question-raising.

And hey - do you mean this blog now has a Fan Club?!?! They like me! They really like me!! If Barack Obama's campaign can sell T-shirts for 20 dollars, I can sell a Blog-shirt for.... well, wait. Let's sell out the CD's first....

But I digress: Advance voting opened Monday for the Georgia presidential primary. The line at the Columbus Public Library was lengthy at times, and Election Board Director Nancy Boren admitted a statewide network went off-line for 30 minutes. In parts of Kenya, this could have been led to ransacked neighborhoods.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION closed Monday night, with our voters divided. Five of you say the Columbus city survey for the "Vision 2028" meetings is biased in favor of development. Four of you say it's not. And a larger number may have longed for a third option - going back to how Columbus looked in 1988.

We've jumped all over the place today - and we're not through yet, as there are other Monday headlines to check:

+ Former Columbus police officer Brad Nelms was arrested, on charges of impersonating an officer. WRBL reported Nelms claimed to be a drug officer working SO undercover that he didn't carry a badge. Isn't this a bit like a musician claiming to be so good, he doesn't have to rehearse?

+ Talbotton City Council member Fred Cotton was sentenced to several weekends in jail, for speeding and drunk driving. It's nice to see Talbot County's law-abiding citizens have something fun to do on their weekends for awhile....

+ This year's class of SOA Watch protesters was sentenced in federal court. WRBL showed a banner made by the protesters, declaring they're "guilty of telling the truth." Someone from the Ledger-Enquirer should have bought that banner, to display in the lobby.

+ The Georgia Supreme Court rejected the appeal of Mario Navarrete, for his part in the killing of Fort Benning Specialist Richard Davis. Any hope Navarrete had of joining Tommy Lee Jones at the Oscars is out the window.

+ Auburn police reported vandals went for damaging joy rides on the grounds of two golf courses. Imagine the celebration, if Tiger Woods had won in a sudden death playoff....

+ WLTZ commentator Al Fleming called for a return to the days when Muscogee County School Board members were selected by a grand jury. Now that's the way to restore trust in the school district - have a secret group of people select the decision-makers.

LAUGHLINE FLASHBACK: President Bush delivered his final State of the Union speech Monday night. Our old service LaughLine covered his first one, 30 Jan 02:

President Bush went to the Capitol Tuesday night for his "State of the Union" address. He talked about the fight against terrorism around the world, and the challenges facing the U.S. But he never took a stand on what many of us considered the biggest breaking issue of the day - pink, purple or aqua M-and-M's.

President Bush said the "State of the Union" has never been stronger - even though "our country is at war...." He called it a "war" so many times that those "unlawful combatants" in Cuba must have wondered what THEY were in.

President Bush noted the presence at the Capitol of Afghanistan's interim Prime Minister - as well as the "Minister of Women's Affairs." Somewhere in the hall, Hillary Rodham Clinton thought to herself, "I can't wait to add that Cabinet position."

Despite the toppling of the Taliban, President Bush warned 100-thousand terrorists may be scattered around the world as "ticking time bombs." And imagine what might happen if Mike Tyson ever becomes a boxing coach....

President Bush said terrorist camps remain in operation in more than a dozen countries. He did NOT name them - but wherever they are, those camps had better turn into "bed and breakfasts" in a hurry.

(President Bush cited a few groups as supporting terrorism. But let's face it, he's going to have a challenge getting the Palestinian group "Hamas" to become "no más.")

President Bush mentioned three countries which have the potential to become part of an "axis of evil" - North Korea, Iran and especially Iraq. Yes sir, it looks like his dad DID help write that speech....

President Bush estimated the fight against terrorism is costing the U.S. government 30 million dollars a day. We'll see if THIS finally brings Anne Nicole Smith to her senses.

President Bush honored two female flight attendants, which helped stop accused "shoe bomber" Richard Reid last month. Did anybody check them afterward -- to see if Gary Condit tried to shake their hands?

President Bush told Congress the enemies of the U.S. were "as wrong as they are evil" to presume last September that the country was "weak and materialistic." That's strange - we thought the President READ all those stories about Enron.

President Bush summed up his economic improvement plan with one word: "Jobs." He could have stopped right there, and saved the government money for speechwriters.

Did you catch the "Bush-ism" during the President's speech? We had to hear it twice to be sure. The President told Congress, "Let's pass AN stimulus package." Either someone typed in an extra letter, or Ann Curry of "The Today Show" is about to change jobs.

(Great moments in TV news: a station in our town began the late news Tuesday night with the State of the Union speech - and words on the screen promised: "REMEMBERABLE Quotes." We don't recall President Bush ever stumbling like that....)

President Bush expressed support for extended unemployment benefits. Members of Congress applauded this enthusiastically - especially since some of them could be unemployed after the November election.

The President asked Congress to approve new rules for retirement savings and pension plans, so employees won't lose all their money if a company fails. He thought about asking for its approval "without delay" - but the "Lay" stepped down as Enron's C-E-O last week.

President Bush said tougher disclosure rules are necessary, to make sure companies operate at the "highest standards of conduct." This shows the difference between Republicans and Democrats. Many Democrats would try to outlaw shredders.

President Bush singled out his wife as a woman who "brings calm in a time of crisis." This apparently indicates she was in the room when Jenna and Barbara tried to explain their run-ins with the law.

President Bush declared the national creed had changed since the September skyjackings. "If it feels good, do it" is out. "Let's roll" is in. Sorry, Mr. President - but BOTH those lines could get romantic teenagers thinking the wrong way.

President Bush challenged every U.S. resident to commit two years or 4,000 hours of their lives to serving their neighbors and their country. What worries us is that our next-door neighbor actually heard that speech - and now she'll expect us to drive her all over town.

President Bush announced a new "USA Freedom Corps," to help with crises at home and acts of compassion abroad. The President apparently plans to expand Americorps, the Senior Corps and the Peace Corps. That way, he'll develop what's known in politics as a "corps constituency...."

Talk about changing times in Washington! First lady Laura Bush reportedly invited the President of the Teamsters Union to attend the State of the Union speech. This way, James Hoffa couldn't be kidnapped without hundreds of witnesses.

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