Tuesday, November 09, 2004

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9 NOV 04: BOOK 'EM



An e-mailer challenged us a few days ago - and we're still trying to track down the truth about her tip:



I've heard there is a fictional book coming out in 2005 that is supposed to be set in Columbus. Have you heard anything about that? I think it's called "The Valley", but I'm not sure....



I've heard at my office that although it is fictional, it's based on actual events and people. I don't know which people though.



Betsy



Sorry to say, Betsy, I didn't know about this book until you e-mailed me. I tend to only check the books thrown on my porch - like the Yellow Pages.



I called Books-a-Million Monday night to ask about "The Valley." Trouble is, that place has ten pages of books with "Valley" in the title. It may stun some readers to say this - but it appears the Chattahoochee Valley is not the only one.



The woman at Books-a-Million didn't see anything on her list about a new fiction book called "The Valley." While I was on the line, I should have asked about other fiction books - like the exit polls from last week's election.



Next I called Barnes & Noble - which again this year is NOT listed in the Yellow Pages under "Books." Instead, its listing is under "Magazines." So I guess 90 percent of the shelves in this store are simply for dress-up and show....



The woman who helped me at Barnes & Noble knew nothing about a fiction book called "The Valley," but she promised to check a manager and call me back. The manager may have been smarter than most of us - waiting until Monday to walk down the sidewalk to the new H.H. Gregg store.



A check of Amazon.com didn't bring a good answer, either. I did find a book called "The Valley" - but it's a top-dollar title about the porn movie industry of southern California. So if this new book is set on Victory Drive, there could be a
lawsuit....



The idea is interesting, though - a fiction book "based on actual events and people." Imagine the possibilities:



+ A steamy novel based on the rumors about Judge-Elect Bobby Peters - "Valley of the Dolls."



+ A crime drama about undercover drug work by the Metro Squad - "Sweet Valley High."



+ A book with golfer Larry Mize as the main character - "How Green Was My Valley."



+ A soap opera about students at Brookstone School - "Valley Girls."



As time has permitted in recent years, I've tried to shop around my own book proposals. I have a faith-based children's book with a heroic bear - but my name's not Katie Couric or Madonna, so publishers aren't interested.



I've also dreamed of writing a book about Spanglish - mixing English and Spanish words in the same sentence. For instance: the Spanish word for Internet is "red." So if someone passes out literature claiming the web is filled with Communists - you read the "red" is red.



Now some other all-English things from Monday:


+ The morning low was 50 F., with the forecast calling for upcoming mornings in the 40's. Have you noticed how it always gets cold around here after we go back to Standard Time? Stay on daylight time, and things might be different.



+ Stewart County Sheriff Larry Jones admitted there actually have been three escapes from the county jail this year. This is getting so bad that Westville ought to offer money to the escapees - then put them on display in 1850-style stocks.



+ Columbus State University confirmed the fall semester has a record-high enrollment of 7,224 students - 62 percent of them female. Hey, wait a minute! It's 62-percent female?! Maybe I DO need a Master's Degree....



COMING THIS WEEK: A fascinating idea about police and Wal-Mart.... and our Blog Special Event, marking 20 years in Georgia....



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© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.