25 NOV 04: THANKS, Y'ALL

Do you want to stop some people cold today? Ask them what they're thankful for this Thanksgiving. Columbus civil rights leaders will give you Marshal-Elect Greg Countryman - but then it might be very hard.

One of my pet peeves is how some people refer to this day as "Turkey Day," instead of Thanksgiving Day. You'd almost think the Pilgrims sailed here from Britain nearly 400 years ago simply to find an alternative to beef stew.

Besides, nowadays turkey is NOT simply for Thanksgiving anymore. Many supermarkets offer fresh or frozen ground turkey. It's lower in fat than ground beef. It's usually less expensive. And if someone tells you, "Don't have a cow," you can tell them you didn't.

But anyway: the point of Thanksgiving Day is supposed to be - well, you know, giving thanks. Yet I've found when I ask people what they're thankful for, many of them have to stop for a moment and think about it. I guess advertisers have made us think we should be dissatisfied with everything.

My first church pastor in Atlanta 20 years ago is my Pastor in Columbus now -- and it's amazing how his Thanksgiving messages always have a way of making me feel guilty. Last weekend, his sermon told us to be thankful for things we DON'T like. Being thankful for Usama bin-Laden can be tough....

I checked my notes from a Thanksgiving eve Bible study this pastor gave in Atlanta 20 years ago. In November 1984, he not only preached against ingratitude - he also declared boredom a sin. You probably thought the teenagers didn't sin until
they acted on that boredom, by poisoning cakes.

(So how did boredom come up in a Thanksgiving message? The Pastor explained bored people are self-focused people, and self-focused people are guilty of ingratitude. I think this is the "six degrees of Satanic separation" rule.)

I don't want to bore you with more. So for the second year, your blog offers a list of things for which I'm thankful - not in any order:

+ For being in a city where the temperature has stayed in the 60-70 degree range all Thanksgiving week. Considering my home town of Kansas City had snow Wednesday, that's a real blessing.

+ For Hank Aaron, for bringing a Krispy Kreme doughnut shop to Columbus this year. I finally paid it a visit Wednesday night - but I have to ask if this is really a doughnut shop, or a museum and boutique.

+ For the Firehouse Bar bringing "Boyz II Men" to Columbus for a concert Wednesday night. If that group made it all the way down I-185, truly it HAS "come to the end of the road."

+ For Fort Benning - because it made a list of businesses for soldiers to avoid. Now at last I KNOW I shouldn't visit Cellars Lounge.

+ For everyone who sued Continental Carbon - and finally gave me an explanation for why the hood of my car slowly turned black.

+ For the "Redneckin'" blog which focuses on Phenix City. That blogger doesn't want to admit it, but he provides me with some healthy competition.

+ For all the Auburn football players who decided to come back this season. If only your coach had kept Southern California on the September schedule, this Bowl Championship Series drama could be quite different.

+ For everyone who keeps the Columbus and Phenix City Riverwalks in good shape, for my jogging. Now if someone will kindly flatten a couple of hills, so my distance can increase....

+ For the new St. Luke Ministry Center downtown, where I can run indoors when it's too cold or wet outside. And on top of that, its vending machine somehow sells packaged brownies for 50 cents - which in 2004 is downright miraculous.

+ For Valley Rescue Mission, which allowed me to sing two songs during its March telethon. So when can I autograph copies of my CD at a Bargain Center?

+ For all the radio news reporters in Columbus - you know, the ones who work full-time for TV stations.

+ And for all of you who read this blog, vote on our questions and send e-mail when you feel the need. Maybe you keep visiting this web site, spreading the word about it to friends - and nudging Judge Roxann Daniel to finally give that concession speech.

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