People in Finland are buying my CD! Shouldn't you? Look for One God, Many Moods on the "local artists" shelf at Mustard Seed in Columbus -- or click here for music samples and how to order online. Request full-length songs by calling Jim Foster at WMLF AM-1270 weekdays between 6:00-8:30 a.m. But while you're here, enjoy some humorous thoughts about my "home turf."
BURKARD'S BLOG
I searched on the Internet at the start of 2003, and found no one keeping a blog about events in Columbus, Georgia. So being the web-savvy guy that I am, I decided to start a blog of my own - chronicling happenings in the town I've called home for nearly seven years, as well as my experiences in it.
But.... I used to have a humor service called LaughLine.Com, so my views may be a bit amusing. And the views are my own; no one has paid me to present theirs. Pressured, yes - but paid, no.
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15 MAR 04: THE MILLER'S TALE
Columbus State and Kennesaw State clashed in men's basketball Sunday night for the fourth time this season. The C.S.U. Cougars know the Owls so well they call the team "Kenny" for short.
It's always fun to listen to Scott Miller call Columbus State games on WDAK Radio. He's obviously a graduate of the Larry Munson school of sportscasting - because if there's something about the game to worry about, Miller will mention it over and over again until you can say it along with him.
Even before Sunday's tipoff, Scott Miller declared a "lucky spot is mandatory" for sitting by the radio to hear the C.S.U. game. That was because leading scorer Yandel Brown had a twisted back, and was barely able to play. The Cougars were so cold in the first half it was obviously a Brown-Out.
Even before the first media timeout, Scott Miller was finding fault with an official for talking with a member of a coaching staff. "He should be watching the game, not the bench," Miller declared. Aw, c'mon - if the announcer can watch what's happening at the bench, why can't the referee?
About eight minutes into the game, Miller was critical again. "He traveled! It was a clear travel, and they called a foul.... and they call it a shooting foul. The foul was on the floor.... That's a terrible call.... That's an awful call, on two accounts." Yes, it WAS a call against Columbus State - how did you guess?
Sticking to the "cheatin' refs" theme, Scott Miller reported during Kennesaw State's Saturday night quarterfinal win, "Catawba never got a call all night." Yet for some reason, the final score of that game was not 222-0.
"Kennesaw State coach Tony Engel spends more time on the court than some of his players," Miller accused at one point. "He was a step from the arc that time." The way Miller describes it, CSU Coach Herbert Greene sits in a chair and wears a seat belt throughout every game.
Another first-half Miller-ism: "We had no blue jerseys under the basket that time at all." So you see, there are times when he IS fair and balanced - perhaps along the Fox News Channel approach, but he is.
When the clock kept running after a shot-clock violation, Miller moaned, "They must do things backwards in Kennesaw.... I had to tell them to turn on the clock to count down to the tipoff last night." Backwards? Well, Kennesaw IS the city where you're required to have a gun in your home....
Columbus State took a brief lead in the second half, but then Kennesaw State rallied to put the game out of reach. Scott Miller seemed to sense the inevitable, saying at one point about a foul: "John [Thomas] DID push him in the back...." This
reminds me a bit of Democratic presidential candidates putting each other down for weeks, then coming together in unity.
As the outcome became obvious, Scott Miller said of the Cougars: "This team simply could not catch a break this year, could they?" How quickly Miller forgot the last-second shot Saturday night, to win the quarterfinal game against Virginia Union.
Yet even in the final minutes, Scott Miller's mutterings were not over. "It's about 125 degrees in this little rat-trap of a gym [in Kennesaw]-- where the NCAA tournament never should have been held." From what I've heard over the years, I
think Miller prepares these grudges at home and carries them with him on road trips.
But wait, there's more! Scott Miller moaned the Kennesaw State arena didn't meet the minimum playoff requirement of 1,000 seats. "They have 896, as I counted them personally Friday afternoon." That's what we like to hear - a sportscaster who's focused on the game.
The final score was 70-55 for Kennesaw State, leaving Scott Miller and all Cougar fans disappointed. The basketball season is over, but please don't be concerned -- Miller now can spend the next two months worrying and whining about the C.S.U. baseball team.
BLOG UPDATE: At the risk of saying I-told-you-so, Georgia was overlooked for the NCAA Division I men's tournament Sunday night. But then again, the Winthrop team which Bulldog announcers bragged about so much when it won in Athens didn't get chosen, either.
BIG PREDICTION: It pains me to do it, but I fear my alma mater Kansas is overrated as a #4 seed. Thus I predict the Jayhawks will lose their opening tournament game to Illinois-Chicago. It's U-I-C - or in this case, I'd rather not see.
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© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.