Wednesday, January 08, 2003







Burkard's Blog of Columbus, Georgia



8 JAN 03: MIGHT AS WELL BE A MALL



The morning was filled with errands today -- errands I'd planned to do yesterday, but had to postpone. I'm a freelance "Producer on-call" at a TV station, and the call came at 3:00 in the morning to fill in for a sickly overnight Producer. Somehow other staff members never seem to hear their phones....



But I digress. The tires I bought from Wal-Mart last June needed their first rotation -- and I bought the maintenance plan where the store does it for free. Is it just me, or does that fact make the shop work go twice
as fast?



But this was no ordinary Wal-Mart. I went to a SUPER-Center across the river -- which meant while I waited on my tires, I dropped off rolls of film to develop and picked up breakfast from the bakery section
(three big cinnamon swirl "biscuits" for ONE dollar!). It almost seemed like a mall -- but no one stopped me
to do annoying surveys.



These Super-Centers have hair salons, bank branches -- but wait a minute. Where's the Internet café, to check my e-mail and send scam offers to unsuspecting Nigerians? This place is SO last millennium....



After the tire work was finished, I found my car driver's seat pushed ALL the way back - and folded back a bit, not forward. Well, pro football players have to do something during their off-seasons.



My next item on the list was song shopping. I've been asked to sing "As the Deer" at church weekend after next, to illustrate a sermonette. I hope he sets this up well -- because several people in the church I attend go
hunting during the winter, and might misunderstand.



Columbus has two big Christian stores, but I was surprised to find neither one had a "music track" for the song I wanted. I even checked the shelf with wedding music -- and then realized the words, "As the deer
panteth for the water/So my soul longs after thee" could apply to an engaged man in a very different direction.



I finally found the song at a small Christian shop a bit out of the way. You could tell it was NOT one of the big chains - because the saleswoman actually said "God bless you" as I left.



Scattered thoughts came to mind as I made my trek around the area:



+ It's called the "Hamilton Square Shopping Center" - but it's not shaped like a square, and Hamilton, Georgia is 15 miles away. Discuss.



+ Why is President Bush re-nominating Charles Pickering for the federal courts, after the Senate turned him down last year? Is the new standard, "No means no, unless there's an election" ?!?!



+ After seeing a recent Dodge truck ad on TV, I can't help seeing a pickup now without asking under my breath: "Does that thing have a hemi?" (Maybe someday, a driver will explain to me exactly what a hemi is.)



6 JAN 03: THAT WAS AN EPIPHANY



Our town inaugurated a new Mayor today. Bob Poydasheff had noted on the radio the ceremony occurred on "the 12th day of Christmas." If day one was December 25, this is not a good sign - since I counted 13 days. Is this man going to be over city budgets?



The local Chamber of Commerce put on a reception for the new Mayor and Council in the late afternoon. It was "open to the public," and offered to serve refreshments -- so of course, I went. I'm a single guy. It's free food. You do the math.



The reception may have open to all -- but in the second hour when I was there, I couldn't find the candidates the new Mayor beat.



It was a well-dressed crowd at the reception, with most men wearing coats and ties. As much as our new Mayor tries to be a "man of the people," hardly anyone stood out to me as a mill worker.



The inauguration of a new Mayor meant our two-term Mayor had to give up his job. He bounced in and out of the reception - and showed his usual great sense of humor. He was the only man in the room with a big X on his name tag. [True!]



Several things made the reception for the new mayor memorable. For one thing, Bill Heard Chevrolet had its own table - well, at least there was a license tag-sized sign on a table. I didn't dare sit there - and risk having someone order me to show my car keys, then run me off for having a Honda.



There was music at the Mayoral reception, played well by a Dixieland jazz band. Apparently all the African-American blues singers which made Columbus famous were either out of town, or dead.



Another thing didn't seem right about the reception. Columbus, Georgia is the "Center of the Sunbelt South" - yet the beverage we were served was lemonade. NOT sweet tea?!?!?



The food was nice at the reception, though. Meatballs, chicken tenders, spicy cheeses, cute mini-carrot cakes - in short, if you never received an invitation to a holiday party, this was the party for you.



Thanks to a reporter friend with time to kill before the 6:00 p.m. news, my picture was taken with the new Mayor. Obviously Mayor Poydasheff was tired from the activities of the day - because he had no way of knowing if I might have a criminal record, and might sell the photo to the other political parties.



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© 2003 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.