11 JAN 03: "MISTER" DEEDS

A sea change took place today at the church congregation I attend. It didn't happen during the service - but afterwards, in a back room. The Pastor told me (and the other song leaders, I suppose) he does not want to be introduced as "Mister" anymore. Before you ask - no, he is not getting a sex change operation.

You have to understand the denomination I attend has a history of being very formal. We don't call Pastors "Reverend," because the Bible doesn't have anyone with that title. But then again, we never call anybody "Bishop" either, and that's in the Bible....

A tradition has developed of calling Pastors and Elders "Mister," to be polite and proper. But today, my Pastor said he now wants to be introduced simply by his name. After all these years, this will be a tough change for me - especially now that I'm finally at an age where most people are calling me Mister.

The Pastor explained he doesn't want to have any layers that might hinder the members from communicating with the minister - such as feeling forced to call him "Mister." So when does he plan to stop wearing suits to
church?

I recalled a Bible Study this Pastor gave about 15 years ago in Atlanta, where he stated in no uncertain terms The Mass Media should refer to leaders as "Mister ____." So I started calling the people above me at CNN Headline News "Mister" and "Ms." It made them very uncomfortable - and they were even more surprised to learn I was not an "Army brat."

(For one Producer above me, it was the last straw when I wrote a script calling Iran's leader "Mister Khomeini.")

So after 20 years of "Mister" and "Mrs.," what will I call people at church next weekend? I could do the religious-sounding thing which one or two members do now, and say "Brother." Or do I stoop all the way down to the level of this "present evil world," and actually call people by first names? I never dreamed I'd have to pray about this sort of thing....

Oh yes, by the way.... I hereby declare war on North Korea.

I am taking all their warnings about possible declarations of war as an actual declaration of war. I figure my declaration will hold about as much weight. Now how much U.S. military aid do I get?