The Blog of Columbus, Georgia

Sunday, February 03, 2008

for 4 FEB 08: THE SUPER-STRETCH

As we post this, Super Sunday is as good as over. Super Tuesday is just ahead. Which means, of course, this post is for Super Monday -- and I invite you to join me in rooting for Kansas to maul Missouri in "rivalry week" college basketball tonight.

So has anyone called you about Super Tuesday, and how you'll vote? No one has called me - unless you count a computerized research survey which phoned my home Saturday afternoon. Because it was my Sabbath, I hung up on it. But I admit I'm having second thoughts about a free cruise I hung up on a few days ago....

The Super Tuesday campaigning clearly is revealing the great Columbus divide. Have you noticed almost all the campaign signs north of Manchester Expressway are for Republicans, while the downtown campaign offices and signs back Democrats? This isn't simply redlining - it's red-and-blue-lining.

The biggest-name Republican to appear in Columbus before Super Tuesday is former Presidential candidate Phil Gramm. The Columbus native spoke over the weekend in behalf of John McCain - but he notably did NOT return to Wynnton Elementary School, where he announced his White House bid in the 1990's. If he doesn't have a historic marker on the grounds by now....

Both Georgia Senators Saxby Chambliss and Johnny Isakson have come out in favor of John McCain. But McCain's handlers were very careful, when he appeared in Georgia over the weekend - and did NOT have in stop for lunch at a Zaxby's.

As for the Democrats, Virginia Governor Tim Kaine made a weekend trip to Columbus to support Barack Obama. I honestly thought Kaine would back Bill Clinton's wife - because isn't Virginia for lovers?

It's our policy here NOT to have campaign posts on election days. So instead, we use this Super Monday to see how knowledgeable you are about Super Tuesday. Ready for our pop quiz? Good, because here we go....

1. Which candidate for President is a former Governor of Arkansas? And which candidate has failed to contrast her years of experience as Arkansas First Lady?

2. Which candidate makes himself look more Southern, by seeming to have one of his cheeks puckered in at almost all times?

3. Which candidate missed a golden opportunity to campaign at Fort Benning - because it has plenty of barracks?

4. Name the candidate who should have the most endorsements from local baseball players - especially catchers.

5. Which candidate made the fatal mistake of campaigning in Sumter County - which didn't work for Howard Dean in 2004, either?

6. Name the candidate who once was dubbed "America's Mayor" - but found people don't want him to become America's President.

7. Which powerful local political couple is endorsing two different candidates on Super Tuesday? Does the loser have to do all the cooking for the next four years?

8. Name the presidential candidate who is a former Baptist minister. Explain why he failed to attend last week's Baptist unity meeting with Jimmy Carter.

9. Name the Hollywood star who made a campaign trip to Columbus - and apparently never bothered to plug any of her movie DVD's.

10. Which Republican candidate's supporters claimed a TV web site's poll was biased, by leaving their choice out? Does that candidate's failure to come close to first place in any state prove there's a vast media conspiracy - or that people simply don't like the guy?

BLOG UPDATE: A couple of readers set us straight Sunday on the Sears Woods party controversy. Police arrested 18-year-old Darrion Douglas on the last weekend of January, after at least 400 people left some kind of activity on Benfield Court. If that many people are going to cheer for Miss Georgia at the Miss America pageant, you should rent a meeting room for it.

E-MAIL UPDATE: This message is somewhat related to that last item....

If you had a teenager at Peachbowl Lanes for an extreme bowling 10pm till 1 am birthday party like I did you discovered all the argument you needed as to why you don't need to be there. Even though the particular inside event was properly chaperoned the outside event involving 8 squad cars, a person held on the ground by police. Why is the REAL NEWS never in the paper?

Now there's an open-ended question. Some would say the birthday party is the "real news," because the Ledger-Enquirer only emphasizes the negative stuff. Those are the people who send e-mails over and over again, asking the media to mention Denzel Washington's visit to an army hospital four years ago.

But on the other hand, some would say the "real news" is the gathering of eight police cars outside Peach Bowl Lanes. All we need is that one-percent public safety sales tax, and they could start a league by next fall.

Another e-mail actually was sent before WRBL's special report on the "Hurtsboro Headache" - and wouldn't you know, it comes from the man some say is a walking headache unto himself:

Sir Richard:

You truly amaze me! Some of the info. you obtain is highly classified! How do you do it? On the other hand; even you run up against a stone wall now and then. So, here's a helping hand.

The Union Springs Herald printed an item on pages .#1/09 of their 8/15/07 issue. FORMER OFFICER MAY BE REHIRED It seems I was in error about Fuseal "Jake" Turner being discharged. Both the Chief and Councilman Anderson were so impressed with his ticket writing prowess that they advised him to resign rather than accept a suspension when he got into trouble. The reason - he would be eligble for remployment after a short absence. The "HERALD" couldn't get any information when he left, ony that "He resigned." But, when Anderson put Turner up for reemployment - the truth came out.

It seems that Turner was captured on closed circuit TV using a city credit card to put gasoline in his girl friend's auto. That's a "no-no" I guess! Turner said "I' was going to use the vehicle for undercover purposes." Anderson reasoned that "other officers on the force have done worse than he did." So far saner heads have prevailed and Turner has been "shipped" to "Hurt'sboro.

Richard, Richard, Richard! If you believe anything Bob Corwin tells you - you are as gullible as the "mare' of "Hurt'sboro.

Constable R.J. Schweiger

Using city funds to help your girlfriend certainly would raise ethical questions. Look what happened to the Mayor of Detroit the other day - only he's still married....

Officials in Union Springs still haven't called us back, about last week's accusations from Constable Schweiger about former officer Turner. Union Springs has about six times the population of Hurtsboro - which could mean the officials are much better skilled at keeping indiscretions quiet.

By the way, did you see the short soundbite from R.J. Schweiger in WRBL's report? Never mind that he wasn't properly labeled a Constable - he claimed if Mayor Sandra Tarver-Yoba would simply be open and honest about Hurtsboro's problems, "I would be happy." Aw, c'mon! Our blog has a collection of around 50 e-mails to prove he still wouldn't be....

We thank all of you who write us - and now let's check what other items we noticed, before we turned off the TV to avoid another Super Bowl:

+ Which local church congregation was surprised to have grade-school singers throw beach balls at it, in the middle of a service? And the sermon said absolutely nothing about building your house on sand....

+ Gas prices made a surprise Sunday jump across Columbus, increasing six to eight cents a gallon. This simply is unfair - to do this on the day when so many people lose money on Super Bowl bets.

+ Sumter Regional Hospital in Americus announced it will help pay for a new building by selling tornado-damaged bricks from the old one. The bricks can be purchased for 25 to 100 dollars. Perhaps the higher-priced bricks are for the employees who were laid off Friday....

+ West Alabama edged Columbus State's baseball team 5-4 -- so the second-ranked Cougars begin the season by losing three games in a row. We'll see if WEAM-AM's "In the Zone" panics today, and suggests Coach Greg Appleton be fired.

COMING THIS WEEK: The story behind a mass mailing, which could reach your mailbox Tuesday....

This blog had more than 43,000 visitors in 2007 -- up 53% from 2006! To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1104 (- 76, 6.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

3 FEB 08: BROCK AND BREW

"It's been a great four years," East Alabama TV reporter Brock Parker told me Saturday night. But after next Friday, the reporting work will end - and in Parker's words, "I still can't believe I'm going to be working for the enemy."

No, Brock Parker hasn't been hired by WRBL or WLTZ. He's joining the staff of Auburn University - and he's a loyal graduate of the University of Alabama. "I already told them," Parker said as he held out a class ring on his right hand, "this is NOT coming off."

A farewell party for Brock Parker attracted a good crowd in downtown Columbus Saturday night -- but a fellow Alabama grad sitting next to him told me he's like a "traitor" to take a job with Auburn. I tried to comfort her, by saying Parker might be an infil-trator.

Brock Parker is joining the Auburn University communications staff. "I'll basically be over the Auburn web site," he explained - but as a loyal Alabama grad, he promises on fall weekends not to go beyond saying, "War Tide" or "Roll Eagle."

Brock Parker found out about the Auburn University opening during the fall, at a Lee-Scott Academy football game. He explained what makes it so appealing, after about 15 years in broadcast journalism. "I'll work from 7:45 to 4:45 Monday through Friday, I'll hardly ever get called in - and I'll go from two weeks of vacation to six weeks." I clearly need to attend more Lee-Scott games....

The change of schedule especially pleases Brock Parker's wife, because they have a young child at home. He won't be working nights anymore - and he can train his little girl in how to properly say "Bah-mah."

The farewell bash for Brock Parker took place at the Cannon Brewpub on Broadway. It had been five years and a day since I was inside that restaurant, attending another man's farewell from a job. Only on that Saturday night, I was the only person to show up for him. I'd like to think it was because a space shuttle disintegrated that day - and not anything personal.

"Reel beer, honest food" promises the cover of the Cannon Brewpub menu. Which led me to ask some people sitting around me: "Is there any dishonest food?"

An answer came to one woman right away: "Tofu. That's dishonest." I might have nominated the "everything bagel" - because when was the last time you saw chicken inside one of them?

We opened the Cannon Brewpub menus, and I ordered the Chicken Platter for $11.99 - grilled chicken prepared in your choice of ways, along with two side orders. But the top item on the side order list had me baffled. "What are sun spots?" I asked the server. It couldn't possibly have been what might have developed in peoples' eyes outside Saturday afternoon....

It turns out "sun spots" are baked sweet potato chips. They turned out all right - but when they were served with my teriyaki chicken and steamed broccoli, I was baffled again. A cup of what seemed to be jelly was put next to the sun spots. I dipped a few spots in it, but it didn't change the flavor much -- not to the point of an eclipse, at least.

The Cannon Brewpub's grilled chicken seemed seared in spots to the edge of burning. But the steamed broccoli was done very well, in a bowl with melted cheese which was white instead of yellow. It was a great taste combination -- and if Ruby Tuesday's staff is reading this: the cheese cost me absolutely nothing extra.

A couple sitting near me decided to share a pizza for dinner - and the Cannon Brewpub served it on a stand eight inches above the table. The purpose for this stand seemed obvious to me. But the couple decided against being romantic enough to stuff each other's mouths with slices.

But let's face it, the Cannon Brewpub is known for beer more than food. "You can tell the New England Patriots fans," I told a woman next to me, "because they're bringing out the Brew-schi."

The local beer creations at the Cannon Brewpub range from "City Mills Wheat" to "Red Jacket Ale." Here's hoping that was NOT awarded to last year's Jordan High School champion basketball team....

One woman couldn't make up her mind about which beer to order. But that's OK, because the Cannon Brewpub offers a "beer sampler" - with seven shot glasses of their beers, including a non-alcoholic root beer. The woman liked several of them. But after sampling them all, she admitted: "Now they all taste the same." The staff obviously needs to serve cheese with this.

The evening at the Cannon Brewpub left me with other scattered thoughts as well:

+ The Cannon was a pioneer in the downtown Columbus renaissance, and is turning nine years old this month. It's outlasted all sorts of businesses - including Citizens Trust Bank, which closed its 11^th Street office when it moved to Macon Road. The Disco Fashions customers must have been outraged by that....

+ Two TV monitors were on as we dined. One had an ESPN channel showing assorted highlights from past Super Bowls. The other showed CNN's replay of Thursday night's Democratic presidential debate, with no captioning at all for following along. Wasn't there a basketball game on cable -- or even some channel covering New York Fashion Week?

+ A young man sitting next to me had an iPhone. I hadn't seen one in action, and was amazed at what he was able to do with a few flicks of his fingers. And talk about addicted - he barely noticed a woman rubbing the back of his neck.

+ A man near me talked about sharing a home with three or four other young men. This led someone else to exclaim: "You're living like a bunch of Mexicans!" Oh please - in college towns, this is called the buddy system.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now for another party, that we admittedly don't completely understand....

I wonder if the parents of the young party giver in Sear's Woods will be held responsible for the mob the police broke up there last week end..Also, who is responsible for the liquor?

A search for "Sears Woods" on the Ledger-Enquirer's web site Saturday night turned up nothing on this case. And it couldn't possibly have been in Northland Neighbors - because the photos probably won't be ready for publication there until mid-March.

We have one more message, about a secret report we mentioned Friday:

Enjoy your work. See if you can find the reason no one in Columbus can know what the ratings are for the radio stations. This seems to be so selfish of someone. Keep up the good work.

If I call the Arbitron office, the staff isn't likely to give me an answer. I've read online that the company never reveals who asks for rating embargos. I'm more likely to get the numbers from a local "Deep Throat" in a parking garage.

Now let's see what else is making news on a warmer weekend....

+ Which young local man recently received a degree in nuclear engineering from Georgia Tech - and now he's working at a Publix store? Is it time to double-check that rotisserie chicken?

+ Mayor Jim Wetherington announced he'll ask Columbus Council this coming Tuesday to put the "public safety sales tax" on the July primary ballot. He again said he wants to hire 100 new officers, and put them "on the Riverwalk, downtown, in our parks...." So where are all the officers NOW? Maybe they're spending all their time guarding churches and shopping centers....

+ A weekend drive revealed downtown Columbus soon will have its own Dunkin Donuts. It will be built around 15^th and Veterans Parkway, but apparently will be combined with a Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop and an Arby's restaurant. Do you want the "Horsey Sauce" on your rocky road cone, or your Bavarian cream donut?

+ The Muscogee County School District hosted a "Reading Bowl." Students had to read dozens of books, then answer questions about them. Some of those students probably longed for Larry King to ask the questions....

+ The Army Corps of Engineers received permission to write new rules for water levels along the Chattahoochee River, from Lake Lanier to Florida. This should give Columbus a big advantage -- if they can send Fort Benning commanders to the Corps office with empty buckets.

+ The Opelika-Auburn News reported Auburn's University Village Mall was evacuated, due to some sort of electrical problem. And you wondered why so many of these malls have Radio Shack stores....

+ GPB reported Savannah moved its Saint Patrick's Day parade up to March 14. It's the first date change since 1940, and is occurring because March 17 falls during "Holy Week." Apparently the brewing of green beer with "holy water" is considered improper.

+ Brock Parker's Alabama lashed Louisiana State 81-72 in men's college basketball. The "highlight" of the game may have come when Alabama's Senario Hillman missed a 360-degree slam dunk. At that moment, something else might have hit 360 degrees - Coach Mike Gottfried's collar.

+ Emmitt Thomas was named to the Pro Football Hall of Fame. I'm going to take a guess here -- and assume it was for his years as a cornerback with the Kansas City Chiefs, and not those three games when he was Interim Head Coach of the Atlanta Falcons.

+ Instant Message to everyone who might be looking here for a Super Bowl prediction: Why? I mean, I've seen camels and gorillas on TV predicting this game - and their handlers would probably tell you the animals have a better track record.

SCHEDULED MONDAY: Our own version of a Super Tuesday preview....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1180 (- 154, 11.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Friday, February 01, 2008

1 FEB 08: A HOUSE DIVIDED

At first I didn't catch the strangeness of it. A well-known local woman was on WRBL Thursday night, explaining how she was assaulted in a couple of ways by opponents of Hillary Rodham Clinton's presidential campaign. The woman said a critic threw a mop at her - which is strange enough, since machetes tend to be the alternative weapon of choice in an Army town.

Only later did I realize who was explaining the attack. The supporter of Hillary Rodham Clinton was Vivian Creighton Bishop -- the woman whose husband/Congressman is supporting Barack Obama. How much trash-talking went on in their house Thursday night, during that cable TV debate from Hollywood?

Vivian Creighton Bishop said the man who threw a mop at her was angry, because she isn't backing the African-American candidate for President. This historic Democratic primary may be revealing some interesting genetic patterns. At least in this family, love of gender matters more than skin color....

It turns out I'm a bit late to this family revelation. The Ledger-Enquirer did a story on the divided Bishop household last Sunday - nine days after the New York Times first mentioned it. Even in the Internet age, news still can travel slowly around here.

(There's a potential tiebreaker in this family - as the Bishops have an adult daughter living in suburban Atlanta. Or is she busy trying to make Cynthia McKinney the Green Party nominee?)

We checked a political web site Thursday night, and found no sign the Bishops have put any money where their split loyalties are. Their names do NOT appear in a database of presidential campaign donors -- but the data has not been updated since late October. So perhaps they started caring about the race at the same time the rest of us did....

(We couldn't resist trying other local names in the database. But "Hugley" and "Wetherington" showed no donations, either. Of course, they've been too busy raising money for other things -- like high school football billboards.)

If it seems like our area has been ignored by presidential candidates in the countdown to Super Tuesday, the campaign donor reports may explain why. The candidate receiving the most local money in recent months was John Edwards - with a combined $41,000 from Columbus and Auburn-Opelika. We hope the homeless people of New Orleans enjoy that leftover campaign money.

The online database also shows through last October, Duncan Hunter had more campaign donations from Columbus than Barack Obama. How much of Hunter's money came from members of the National Rifle Association, who went only by his name?

(The top Republicans for local donations were Fred Thompson in Columbus, and Ron Paul in Auburn-Opelika. This shows a big difference in the two metropolitan areas. Columbus likes folksy candidates, while Auburn web-heads love to go for Internet records.)

But back to that mop: Vivian Creighton Bishop's comment isn't the only complaint from the local Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign office. I'm told someone showed up at that office last week, making threats with hedge clippers. This person should put the clippers to much better use -- and look for ways to trim government spending.

These threat-making critics ought to calm down a minute and think. If Barack Obama winds up as the Democratic nominee, isn't Vivian Creighton Bishop likely to play the good Democrat and support him next fall? It's the U.S. version of that Saturday night comedy on GPB - "Keeping Up Appearances."

BLOG UPDATE: A new secret report on Columbus came out Thursday. We really wanted the secrecy to end, but our hopes were dashed. But don't jump to conclusions here - this report probably doesn't have the name of Zachary Allen anywhere in it.

The new report contained the fall radio ratings for Columbus. Arbitron surveys our area twice a year, in fall and spring. Radio stations want to be on top in some category or another, so they can charge top-dollar rates for commercial time. The low-rated stations are more likely to offer specials on herbal supplements with funny names.

But for the fourth rating period in a row, Arbitron put an "embargo" on the Columbus radio ratings. That means someone is vetoing the release of the numbers to the general public. I think we can safely remove Michael Soul from the list of suspects - because he'd want everyone to know WFXE-FM is on top again.

Arbitron doesn't have to reveal who ordered the embargo. But I'll repeat the guess I made last summer - that Archway Broadcasting is keeping the numbers secret. The managers there are good at that. Look how many days it took for us to find out WRCG had been vandalized.

So what else did we find out Thursday? Let's have a look....

+ WRBL reporter Tim Reid went to Hurtsboro "demanding answers" from city officials. But he admitted Mayor Sandra Tarver-Yoba would NOT talk on camera, and a City Council member was told by other Councilors not to talk at all. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the August election....

(Tim Reid even went to a Hurtsboro police car, and opened it! It was unlocked, with equipment inside. So much for Reid doing a follow-up story there -- assuming the officers ever get around to dusting the squad car for fingerprints.)

+ The Hogansville City Council held a second meeting in three days, and decided to fire police chief Guy Spradlin. He was accused of sending sexist and racially-derogatory text messages - so a "thumbs down" vote really is no surprise.

+ Knight Recycling of Columbus announced it will merge with Schnitzer Steel, after 100 years in business. I'll assume the managers had a magnetic attraction to each other....

+ The evening news reported Phenix City has the second-fastest growing school system in Alabama. It's growing so fast that the new "freshman academy" at Central High School will have its own gymnasium - and after the failure of that sales tax last year, that gym might double as a new grade school.

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: It's party time.... both good and not-so-good....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1334 (+ 35, 2.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

for 31 JAN 08: HEADACHE #101

Undaunted by our recent posts, an in-depth investigation of Hurtsboro will come out tonight after all. This blog has NOT been interviewed as part of it. So we'll see if we're going to be ambushed, and declared a big joke - which is kind of what we try to be, anyway....

"Hurtsboro Headache" is the title of a special report being promoted by WRBL. In a way, I can relate to that title. Over the last 13 months, we've received more news tips about problems in Hurtsboro than we have anything else. But then again, 99 percent of them have come from the same person - and about the only uplifting things he's sent us have been country songs.

The commercial promoting "Hurtsboro Headache" promises Tim Reid will be "demanding answers" about all sorts of issues in the town. Given all the issues that were mentioned, there may not be time in the 11:00 p.m. news for any other stories....

Perhaps Tim Reid will touch on some of these new complaints from Hurtsboro. We've had no response to some of these from Union Springs city officials, so we bring out an e-mail from last week today:

Sir Richard:

It seems almost routine; that newscasts air coverage of police officers who are in trouble. These allegations, accusations, and convictions range the gamut - everything from drug trafficking and child molestation to homicide. I guess that it should be no surprise; that town's like "Hurt'sboro who employ cast-offs from other departments, and make inadequate background checks end up with individuals that are less than worthy!

Recent disclosures by THE BLOG OF COLUMBUS and WTVM reveal some very disturbing facts about our interim police chief. His past conduct hardly behooves the requisites for a police officer. And that is only half the story. His conduct in "Hurt'sboro is under ongoing investigation.

As if to add insult to injury - the town employs another reject from Union Springs, (to be fair I must admit, that "Hurt'sboro and Union Springs have bounced officers back and forth like ping-pong balls) Our "patrol" officer; Fuesal Turner, was discharged from USPD for putting city gasoline in his girl friend's automobile. His alibi was ridiculous!

There's been a shake-up at the Alabama Department of Economic and Community Affairs. The new monitor is painfully aware - that "Hurt'sboro hasn't anted up the $10,000.00 it signed for, but she intends to collect it.

In closing- ADEM has finally had enough, and has scheduled a hearing later this month in regard to the unsanitary conditions at our "dump" on River Street.

Constable R.J. Schweiger

We mentioned "Jake" Turner's record of three speeding tickets earlier this week. If the Constable didn't drive so slowly through Hurtsboro, the police department would have room to floor it some more.

We always have new people discovering this blog, so we should explain some of these gripes. R.J. Schweiger says Hurtsboro was supposed to provide matching funds to receive state grant money for a new City Park But grant writer Bob Corwin told us last May that's not true [14 May 07]. So perhaps this $10,000 can wait on a resident winning the Georgia Lottery.

Hurtsboro has had plenty of problems with garbage in the last year. I'm not sure if the Constable or someone else reported the city.... well, is it a landfill? I can't believe it's really called a "dump" - since that term used to be reserved for big cities, such as Chicago.

The Alabama Department of Environmental Management hasn't returned our calls about the trash situation in Hurtsboro. So ADEM joins the Union Springs Police, the former employer of Hurtsboro Mayor Sandra Tarver-Yoba - and plenty of attractive women I knew years ago.

Here are some of the Hurtsboro issues WRBL promises to address in its special report, and what we already know about them:

1. WHERE'S THE MAYOR? Sandra Tarver-Yoba's phone number isn't listed in the AT&T directory. In fact, an acquaintance of hers tells me she no longer works in Hurtsboro - and if the Tarver Beauty salon won't take her, that's not a good sign.

2. POLICE SERVICE. At least we've learned Hurtsboro still has some. The officers have been busy doing close-up surveillance work down Main Street.

3. TRASH UNCOLLECTED. At least Hurtsboro residents have waited only for a couple of weeks at a time. Naples, Italy has had garbage piled on the sidewalks for months - and that country is considered romantic.

A revised schedule means an early deadline for a couple of days, so we'll stop here and close with some Instant Messages....

+ To all the advance voters who have marked ballots for John Edwards and Rudolph Giuliani: How are you feeling right now? A bit like someone who urged Fred Thompson to run for President last year?

+ To the Georgia Transportation Task Force: Aw c'mon -- you want a one-cent sales tax, too? Between your proposal, the Muscogee County School Board and Mayor Wetherington, it's no wonder Mike Huckabee's "national sales tax" plan has become ignored.

+ To David Seagraves at Sumter Regional Hospital: Really now - do you HAVE to lay off those 31 employees? Can't you put them to work on a demolition or rebuilding crew?

+ To Donald Johnson of Phenix City: That was an impressive display on WLTZ -- your eight years of aluminum can tabs, attached in a chain! But if you actually keep track of which years you collected which tabs, that's a bit over the pop top for me.

+ To the Columbus High School volleyball team: That's a nice billboard on Wynnton Road, celebrating your state championship. I'll assume some friends of Mayor Wetherington paid for that one, too - but you should have called Carver High, about being part of their parade.

+ To KCSP Radio in Kansas City and KLWN in Lawrence, Kansas: PLEASE fix your online streaming audio. I was forced to listen to the Kansas-Kansas State basketball game through Kansas State broadcasters - and they're simply SO biased....

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.89 a gallon at Petro, Brown Avenue and Cusseta Road.... Publix two-liter sodas for 50 cents.... FREE tennis balls, left sitting around the Columbus State University courts after practice most days....

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Friday's entry will be posted around 8:15 a.m. ET.)

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1299 (+ 52, 4.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

30 JAN 08: JUST SAY THE WORD

It looks like my raising coin laundry is raising the prices for washers. The one-dollar stickers were removed when I was there late last week. But I still was able to get the machines working with four quarters - thanks to some creative pushing, and scrambling the quarters into seemingly the lock-safe combination.

BLOGGER BEGGAR #2 (of 2008): The man walked up to me at the wall of driers on South Lumpkin Road, for a short and to-the-point conversation.

"Dollar."

"Dollar?!"

"Dollar."

"What do you need it for?" Too wordy. I should have simply asked why.

"Something to eat." Now this is 21^st-century begging, from one man to another -- with so few words that we could have text-messaged each other just as easily.

The man looked like he could have needed heat, as well as eats. He wore two coats - a winter coat in its proper place, and what looked like a burgundy blazer over his head. Those economic stimulus checks from Washington could buy a lot of wool winter hats.

"Let's go," I told the man and directed him toward the coin laundry door. This was risky, since I had a full load of clothes in a dryer. I've often wondered if beggars show up at laundromats to lure me outside in mid-load, so a second person can move in and steal my dress shirts.

But on this day, I did NOT think something was up. This man's appearance and language skills made me think he was somewhat mentally disabled. You might say he was acting "slow" too well to be acting.

The closest restaurant at the strip mall where I do laundry is a new Korean place called the "Sonny Diner." I made sure it accepted credit cards, because I try to avoid simply giving money to unknown beggars - and this restaurant showed no sign of a dollar menu.

The Sonny Diner was empty at about 11:30 a.m., save for a staff member talking with a supplier. Unsure if a server would come out to help us, the beggar and I sat down at a booth with nice water glasses. But there was no water pitcher on the table -- better for handling a drought and a nice tip.

"How long have you done this?" I tried to ask the man. "How long have you been begging?" Either his answer was so mumbled I couldn't understand it -- or my question was so complex that it might also have stumped Jessica Simpson.

After waiting a moment for help, I decided the place to be served was at the cash register in the back. The beggar walked there with me, and I asked about the "American lunch" offered on the door. The Sonny Diner also offers a "Korean lunch" - the difference apparently being that one serves meat loaf, and the other comes with rice.

The American lunch seemed to be a $5.95 special - but instead, the woman at the cash register handed me a pamphlet menu. "Can you read this?" I asked the beggar as I passed it on. He indicated he could - which was remarkable, considering part of it seemed to be in Korean.

In only a moment, the beggar pointed to what he wanted - "yellow croaker" for $13.95. With tax and tip added at the register, his one-dollar request wound up costing me 17 times more than that. This is why I didn't apply to become Atlanta Falcons general manager.

I explained to the woman at the register that I was buying for a beggar, not for me. She said it was very nice for me to do that -- but I was NOT rewarded with a mint, like Sonic might have done.

Since I still had clothes spinning in a dryer, I said goodbye to the beggar and went back to the coin laundry. Thankfully, no items were missing. In fact, that was an improvement from two weeks before - when I somehow wound up one green sock short.

The dryer didn't cost me much money, which made up a little for what the beggar needed. But before I started the car to drive home, I had to check inside the Sonny Diner door again. I was relieved to see the beggar still there, staring outside. Hopefully his food came - and hopefully he didn't have to hand it over to a supervisor, who wanted big bills instead.

This makes four encounters with beggars at my regular laundry in the last 11 months - and not one of them asked for money to wash or dry their clothes. It's as if they know laundry customers are easy targets. We bring cash, after all - since the washer prices haven't been jacked up enough to require credit cards.

Hey wait, you may be asking -- did we overlook something here? This is our SECOND beggar of 2008?! Well, yes -- as I was waiting until I had a second one to bring up a rather dull first one....

BLOGGER BEGGAR #1: "Do you have a cigarette?" asked another man a few weeks ago. This was in the parking lot of a restaurant on Buena Vista Road -- and he gave the universal hand-signal for a cigarette: two fingers together, going back and forth from his mouth. If he had puckered his lips, that might have qualified as a kiss.

"I don't smoke," I answered the man -- and I certainly don't want to. Not when I can go for three-mile twilight runs before dinner, as I did on this Saturday night. The result is a healthier body, cleaner lungs - and until a more conventional beggar comes along, a fatter wallet.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Shame on us for thinking the Muscogee County School Board was the only "fight zone" in Columbus. This message reached us Tuesday afternoon....

well, well..............the article about the fight in Searswoods was astounding enough....but now less than 30 minutes ago at 4:00 ...traffic on Double Churches and Whitesville had to stop for an enormous fight at the Summit on the corner that ended up rolling into the street and people running towards it from all directions and fists flying as well................massive..............................and sad................what is going on?????

High school kids or older............too big to be from the Middle School across the street....

It sounds like an old-fashioned rumble broke out after school Tuesday. But before we blame the students - were any hockey players making an appearance at that convenience store?

The location of this brawl is what surprises me the most. You don't expect Double Churches and Whitesville Roads to be the scene of a fight like this. These students apparently forgot the lesson of last August - by not staging this fight at Brookstone School.

Another reader wants to comment on the Georgia Supreme Court's decision against Mario Navarrete - still guilty of murdering Fort Benning Specialist Richard Davis:

I asked Cilla McCain about this latest development. She wasn't at all surprised but actually disappointed, saying that "A new trial may have corrected some of the injustices related to the first one" Her book is in editing now but she doesn't have the exact publishing date. When that information is available it will be posted on her agents site www.theliterarygroup.com. The documentary is moving along, but has been slowed down somewhat by the writer's strike.

james b.

You may recall McCain has been writing her own story on the Richard Davis case, independent of the movie "In the Valley of Elah." Who knows -- If the two had joined forces, people actually might have watched the movie.

Isn't it strange that a documentary on the Richard Davis killing is being delayed by the Writer's Guild strike? All the producers have to do is pay royalty fees to Ledger-Enquirer reporters....

Now let's see what people reported on, in Tuesday's news:

+ Columbus Council heard a presentation on how crime has dropped in the Hilton Heights area, since a "neighborhood watch" program began. If this trend continues, the residents might even persuade Hilton to put a hotel there.

+ WRBL reported accused Columbus police impersonator Mike Nelms also got in trouble a few weeks ago, for impersonating a cable TV worker. So who apprehended Nelms first - police detectives, or the "Scooby-Doo" gang which likes DirecTV?

+ The Hogansville City Council held a closed-door meeting on the future of its police chief. A fired dispatcher claims Guy Spradlin sent her sexually suggestive text messages through a city phone. This shows why you have to be SO cautious with acronyms - and type "BFF" very carefully.

+ Senator Johnny Isakson of Georgia told the PBS "NewsHour" the economic stimulus bill proposed by President Bush is "strategically surgical." I didn't realize that many doctors had incomes low enough to qualify for rebate checks....

(True confession: I'm personally torn on this economic stimulus question. My brain tells me the rebate checks won't do much to prevent a recession, and will only increase the national deficit and debt -- but my wallet is screaming, "Bring it on.")

+ Carver High School football star Jarvon Fortson revealed to WRBL he visited Florida State University last weekend. Fortson verbally committed to Auburn months ago - so what will he do on signing day next Wednesday? Will it come down to whether Auburn has another trace of snow in the next week?

+ Jordan escaped its first loss of the year in boys' basketball, winning at Spencer 73-71. Shame on the Green Wave - for following the example of graduate Cathy Williams, and trying to cause upset across the school district.

+ Instant Message to the leadership of the Georgia House: Did I hear it right - you have a "Doctor of the Day" for every session?! Was this inspired by that fistfight in the Alabama Senate last year?

SCHEDULED THURSDAY: If we don't hear from Union Springs, some "further accusations" will go public....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1247 (+ 53, 4.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

29 JAN 08: ROBO-COPS

Next week's "Super Tuesday" primaries may not settle the party nominees for President. But it might inspire a law which a lot of Georgians will like. It might even produce new jobs for the state - if you don't mind an increase in the number of telemarketers.

Georgia Senate President Eric Johnson called Monday for a ban on almost all "robo-calls" - phone calls dialed by computer, where you hear nothing but a recorded message. Few things in this life are more humiliating than to say "Hello, hello" to a voice which isn't paying any attention to you.

Eric Johnson's proposal may be inspired by the Super Tuesday presidential campaigning. Someone has been making "robo-calls" challenging the reputation of Georgia Rep. John Lewis. I can't believe that many survivors of the Selma bridge march have died....

Eric Johnson notes Georgia was a leader in establishing the "do not call" list - but it's now been superceded by the federal list. This ban on robo-calls might do something the federal telemarketing bill does not. It might even bar political campaigns from calling you.

Eric Johnson's bill would require live people to be on the line for almost all phone calls in Georgia. But he admits he does NOT want to ban all automated calls -- as he sees a need for some exceptions:

+ Schools calling about children. Did schools really make calls like this years ago - before there was so much pressure for high test scores?

+ A doctor reminding you about an appointment. This proves the optometrists have some strong lobbyists in Atlanta....

+ Employers calling workers. If they've already fired the person asking why you're late for work, you might well be next.

I haven't received any campaign calls concerning Super Tuesday, from either computers or humans. But I think State Senator Eric Johnson has a great idea here -- and I speak as someone who had a high school summer job as a telemarketer. The bosses didn't like it, when I started cutting the price of portrait plans in a desperate bid to get sales.

. An end to robo-calls in Georgia should reduce the number of nuisance calls I get each week. The most annoying ones don't allow you to press a button on your phone, to be removed from the call list. At least you could let out a little frustration....

What sort of robo-calls do you get? A few offers keep reaching my phone, over and over again:

+ An already-approved platinum card, with an $8,000 credit line. They never offer me one in other colors, like teal blue.

+ A "final reminder" that my car's service warranty needs to be extended, in case I didn't receive the reminder in the mail. When your car is almost 14 years old, you know something's suspicious.

+ An "important message for septic tank owners." In my apartment in an urban neighborhood, that message is full of.... well, this IS a G-rated blog....

BLOG UPDATE: "We called him Jake," a man at the Union Springs Police Department said Monday when we called to ask about one of its former officers. You have to admit that Jake is a much easier name to pronounce than Fueasel....

We called Union Springs Monday in hopes of confirming further accusations against current Hurtsboro police officer Fueasel Turner. Neither the City Clerk nor the Police Chief returned our messages -- so this small town may not have received word yet about what a blog is.

Speaking of Hurtsboro, here's a reply to our main topic of Monday:

I would like to clear up one or two things that were relayed to you incorrectly. I HAVE NEVER BEEN EJECTED FROM ANY BUSINESS IN "HURT'SBORO!! I've simply boycotted them! Those reports are stoked by chagrined business owners who I supported with sizeable cash purchases for a decade or more! If you can locate anyone in "Hurt'sboro or anywhere else that I have cheated or left with unpaid bills "Let them speak now; or forever hold their peace!" For your information; I do business INSIDE the bank on a regular basis. The reason I was at the bank the other day was to provide security. I do this on a regular basis because the city fails to see that an officer is present (or even available) at critical periods of the day! I have an arrangement with the Russell County Sheriff - a deputy steps in, when I can't be there.

Sir Richard; you probably recall, that our grocery store closed because of armed violence and no police protection in "Hurt'sboro. It looks like the grocery is going to reopen under new ownership soon. Perhaps the town can struggle back on to its feet! I'm certain of one thing! The new owner will be the beneficiary of better security than has been provided by "Hurt'sboro's inadequate system!

Constable R.J. Schweiger

To my knowledge, the only bank in Hurtsboro is a branch of Auburn Bank. So where are the two police officers when it's open - guarding against looting at the grocery store, while it's under renovation?

But uh-oh - have we been probing the Hurtsboro police a bit too much? I'm hearing an in-depth investigation of the interim police chief was in the works, and we beat the investigators to it. Now that study may be abandoned, revised, restarted - or Hurtsboro will be ignored, making the Constable even more annoyed.

E-MAIL UPDATE: While we were desperately seeking Kerry Washington in Sunday's entry, one reader was distracted by something else....

Richard, I was shocked to read that campaign materials were for sale at the Barack Obama headquarters in Columbus. I've been collecting such things for years but all of mine were free. Would anyone be interested in purchasing a large poster of Senator Gary Hart for President? I got that one when he spoke at Columbus College years ago. It would seem that would be quite a collector's item now.

And not being able to find a babysitter did not deter my daughter from voting in the last presidential election. She stood in line for over three hours with her less than three month old baby in a stroller!

Member of the Columbus Blog Fan Club

To clarify one detail - the "Obama Store" at the Liberty Theatre last week was several blocks from the local campaign headquarters on Third Avenue. Friday's unsold items probably were returned there. And with giant banners being stolen, they might have actually been carried in a trash bag.

We suggest this reader get his/her campaign poster autographed by Gary Hart, while he's still alive and able to do it. If that fails, a poster signed by Donna Rice might be even more valuable - not to mention question-raising.

And hey - do you mean this blog now has a Fan Club?!?! They like me! They really like me!! If Barack Obama's campaign can sell T-shirts for 20 dollars, I can sell a Blog-shirt for.... well, wait. Let's sell out the CD's first....

But I digress: Advance voting opened Monday for the Georgia presidential primary. The line at the Columbus Public Library was lengthy at times, and Election Board Director Nancy Boren admitted a statewide network went off-line for 30 minutes. In parts of Kenya, this could have been led to ransacked neighborhoods.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION closed Monday night, with our voters divided. Five of you say the Columbus city survey for the "Vision 2028" meetings is biased in favor of development. Four of you say it's not. And a larger number may have longed for a third option - going back to how Columbus looked in 1988.

We've jumped all over the place today - and we're not through yet, as there are other Monday headlines to check:

+ Former Columbus police officer Brad Nelms was arrested, on charges of impersonating an officer. WRBL reported Nelms claimed to be a drug officer working SO undercover that he didn't carry a badge. Isn't this a bit like a musician claiming to be so good, he doesn't have to rehearse?

+ Talbotton City Council member Fred Cotton was sentenced to several weekends in jail, for speeding and drunk driving. It's nice to see Talbot County's law-abiding citizens have something fun to do on their weekends for awhile....

+ This year's class of SOA Watch protesters was sentenced in federal court. WRBL showed a banner made by the protesters, declaring they're "guilty of telling the truth." Someone from the Ledger-Enquirer should have bought that banner, to display in the lobby.

+ The Georgia Supreme Court rejected the appeal of Mario Navarrete, for his part in the killing of Fort Benning Specialist Richard Davis. Any hope Navarrete had of joining Tommy Lee Jones at the Oscars is out the window.

+ Auburn police reported vandals went for damaging joy rides on the grounds of two golf courses. Imagine the celebration, if Tiger Woods had won in a sudden death playoff....

+ WLTZ commentator Al Fleming called for a return to the days when Muscogee County School Board members were selected by a grand jury. Now that's the way to restore trust in the school district - have a secret group of people select the decision-makers.

LAUGHLINE FLASHBACK: President Bush delivered his final State of the Union speech Monday night. Our old service LaughLine covered his first one, 30 Jan 02:

President Bush went to the Capitol Tuesday night for his "State of the Union" address. He talked about the fight against terrorism around the world, and the challenges facing the U.S. But he never took a stand on what many of us considered the biggest breaking issue of the day - pink, purple or aqua M-and-M's.

President Bush said the "State of the Union" has never been stronger - even though "our country is at war...." He called it a "war" so many times that those "unlawful combatants" in Cuba must have wondered what THEY were in.

President Bush noted the presence at the Capitol of Afghanistan's interim Prime Minister - as well as the "Minister of Women's Affairs." Somewhere in the hall, Hillary Rodham Clinton thought to herself, "I can't wait to add that Cabinet position."

Despite the toppling of the Taliban, President Bush warned 100-thousand terrorists may be scattered around the world as "ticking time bombs." And imagine what might happen if Mike Tyson ever becomes a boxing coach....

President Bush said terrorist camps remain in operation in more than a dozen countries. He did NOT name them - but wherever they are, those camps had better turn into "bed and breakfasts" in a hurry.

(President Bush cited a few groups as supporting terrorism. But let's face it, he's going to have a challenge getting the Palestinian group "Hamas" to become "no más.")

President Bush mentioned three countries which have the potential to become part of an "axis of evil" - North Korea, Iran and especially Iraq. Yes sir, it looks like his dad DID help write that speech....

President Bush estimated the fight against terrorism is costing the U.S. government 30 million dollars a day. We'll see if THIS finally brings Anne Nicole Smith to her senses.

President Bush honored two female flight attendants, which helped stop accused "shoe bomber" Richard Reid last month. Did anybody check them afterward -- to see if Gary Condit tried to shake their hands?

President Bush told Congress the enemies of the U.S. were "as wrong as they are evil" to presume last September that the country was "weak and materialistic." That's strange - we thought the President READ all those stories about Enron.

President Bush summed up his economic improvement plan with one word: "Jobs." He could have stopped right there, and saved the government money for speechwriters.

Did you catch the "Bush-ism" during the President's speech? We had to hear it twice to be sure. The President told Congress, "Let's pass AN stimulus package." Either someone typed in an extra letter, or Ann Curry of "The Today Show" is about to change jobs.

(Great moments in TV news: a station in our town began the late news Tuesday night with the State of the Union speech - and words on the screen promised: "REMEMBERABLE Quotes." We don't recall President Bush ever stumbling like that....)

President Bush expressed support for extended unemployment benefits. Members of Congress applauded this enthusiastically - especially since some of them could be unemployed after the November election.

The President asked Congress to approve new rules for retirement savings and pension plans, so employees won't lose all their money if a company fails. He thought about asking for its approval "without delay" - but the "Lay" stepped down as Enron's C-E-O last week.

President Bush said tougher disclosure rules are necessary, to make sure companies operate at the "highest standards of conduct." This shows the difference between Republicans and Democrats. Many Democrats would try to outlaw shredders.

President Bush singled out his wife as a woman who "brings calm in a time of crisis." This apparently indicates she was in the room when Jenna and Barbara tried to explain their run-ins with the law.

President Bush declared the national creed had changed since the September skyjackings. "If it feels good, do it" is out. "Let's roll" is in. Sorry, Mr. President - but BOTH those lines could get romantic teenagers thinking the wrong way.

President Bush challenged every U.S. resident to commit two years or 4,000 hours of their lives to serving their neighbors and their country. What worries us is that our next-door neighbor actually heard that speech - and now she'll expect us to drive her all over town.

President Bush announced a new "USA Freedom Corps," to help with crises at home and acts of compassion abroad. The President apparently plans to expand Americorps, the Senior Corps and the Peace Corps. That way, he'll develop what's known in politics as a "corps constituency...."

Talk about changing times in Washington! First lady Laura Bush reportedly invited the President of the Teamsters Union to attend the State of the Union speech. This way, James Hoffa couldn't be kidnapped without hundreds of witnesses.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1194 (+ 39, 3.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Monday, January 28, 2008

28 JAN 08: YOU'RE LOOKING AT ME?

As far as we know, the Hurtsboro City Council has yet to call that special meeting about the Interim Police Chief and his history of speeding tickets. But keep in mind, this is a slow-paced rural town. The regular monthly meeting might be considered special.

The man who first complained to city officials (and us) about Hurtsboro's Interim Police Chief is complaining again. He passed along to us a letter to the mayor:

Mayor Tarver:

I'm certain, that you are aware that Hurtsboro's interim Police Chief has acted in a irresponsible manner in the past, and was discharged from the Union Springs Police Department before you hired him. And, since you were with him on one occasion when he became vulgar and abusive; you are also cognizant of his unprofessional behavior as Hurtsboro's Police Chief..

Now, it seems, that your Police Chief has taken offense with me! He has used vulgarity and verbal threats in an attempt to halt my inquisition into his actions. Yesterday (1/23/08) he followed me for no reason, bumper to bumper around town while I conducted my daily business. Our first contact was at the bank ( where I was stationed to make sure there were no problems at closing) and where there is never any evidence of local police presence!

Next, he followed me bumper to bumper (without flashing lights) to Williams Store where he pulled up beside me and took my picture on his cell phone. Finally, I called a friend to act as an escort, and we proceeded west on #51 to N. River street and turned east at the old County shop. The procession traveled south on Rte.#51 (again bumper to bumper) through town on Main street and Christian finally broke off the slow speed chase at the four way stop by the deer processing plant.

If I recall, one of Marvin Christian's past digressions was a short lived menacing charge. Believe me - if this type of conduct continues, he will be facing another like charge!

Mayor Tarver it baffles me why you and possibly the Council allow city employees to run amok and without restraint or supervision. Don't you realize that; as the Chief executive of the town you are morally and fiscally responsible for their actions? I guess you will have to learn the hard way.

Constable R. J. Schweiger

I'll repeat to the Constable what I said to that woman outside the Liberty Theatre the other day - welcome to the paparazzi.

Perhaps Marvin Christian followed R.J. Schweiger around Hurtsboro to see if the Constable is really the troublemaker some Hurtsboro residents claim he is. I've heard one critic say Schweiger has been kicked out of nearly every business in town. He was "AT the bank" - but the Constable never says he went inside.

(By the way, this seems to answer a question I've been asked several times in the last year - exactly what the Constable is supposed to do. He's apparently filling security gaps for the Hurtsboro police. So why do some critics not consider their "homeland" very secure when he's around?)

While the Interim Police Chief took the Constable's picture, Marvin Christian apparently never arrested R.J. Schweiger. And Schweiger will be relieved to know that the cell phone pictures were NOT posted on YouTube, when we did a search there Sunday night.

(And at least Marvin Christian only pulled out a camera phone. I know some people in Columbus who wish law officers would stop at that - but I shouldn't be bringing up Kenneth Walker and his friends.)

As long as the Constable goes about his errands in a proper way, why should he fear the Hurtsboro Police Chief following him around a bit? You'd think he'd be happy that a squad car actually is running for a change, with a law officer out on patrol during the day.

BLOG EXCLUSIVE: Marvin Christian is one of two officers on the Hurtsboro Police Department. So what about the other one? Some digging by your blog has found that officer has a police record of his own, including a fine paid only last year. But at least he's "second in command" - with three speeding tickets, compared with the interim chief's six.

The other Hurtsboro officer is Fueasel Turner - and Alabama court records indicate he paid speeding fines in Macon County court in 2003, 2004 and 2007. The 2003 case included a guilty plea for "attempting to elude police." If you can't outrun 'em, I guess you join 'em.

The court records took some sorting out, as there actually are arrest reports for TWO Fueasel Turners in southeast Alabama. An earlier one ran up six speeding tickets from 1993 to 2002, and even was arrested in some kind of sewage case. So perhaps it's like the Dale Earnhardt family -- with the torch passed to a new fast generation.

The most recent speeding ticket for Fueasel Turner cost him a 40-dollar fine last April. That may not seem like much - but Hurtsboro probably pays its police officers much less than even Columbus does. So Turner may be sharing Marvin Christian's camera phone, as he follows City Council members around town.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Is anyone reading this blog at WRBL? We'll see....

Kaffie Sledge ,of the Ledger,needs to be awarded the Golden Apple educational award for standing up for the children of MCSD....you go girl....

That award usually is given to a teacher -- but I can already hear many of Sledge's critics, who claim all she teaches is racism.

We also have a comment today on the great campaign banner hunt in Columbus:

Other uses for Obama sign:

Trim it down to read:

Rack Bama,,,Bar Bama...It will probably show up at an AU football game...

Hmmmm -- I'm not sure if that lets the other campaigns off the hook for the banner theft. Has Tommy Tuberville endorsed a candidate yet?

While presidential candidates kept campaigning Sunday, we noticed other things going on....

+ The new Rigdon Road Elementary School held an open house. Principal Phyllis Davis claims the old school had two restrooms, while the new one has 23. I wish someone had asked her if one of those restrooms was attached to her office....

(The new Rigdon Road school also has "smart boards," which I guess are the 21^st century replacement for chalkboards. But at least we've moved beyond the pesky matter of black and white there.)

+ The Columbus Symphony Orchestra presented a family concert based on a "Lemony Snicket" story. I can remember when critics considered that children's series too violent -- but consider the alternative. Your family could have gone to the RiverCenter last Thursday for the opera "Tosca," and its commercial showed someone being stabbed.

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths lost to Jacksonville 4-3 in a shootout. It followed an end-game and overtime period with so much action, WEAM-AM announcer Mike Vee said it happened "faster than I can call it." If you can't stand the speed, go call a baseball game....

+ Basketball's Atlanta Hawks lost at the final horn to Portland 94-93. To use those scoreboard abbreviations, ATL played POR - but it didn't play poorly.

+ Instant Message to Richard Hyatt: Our best wishes, as you begin your final week at the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer. If the newspaper really cares about you, your final column before retirement will be available online - without anyone having to register their name to read it.

SCHEDULED THIS WEEK: A total stranger comes to me, with a simple one-word request....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1155 (- 92, 7.4%, record low)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

27 JAN 08: THE KERRY CAMPAIGN

Barack Obama won the South Carolina Democratic presidential primary Saturday night. Hillary Rodham Clinton was second. And as for third-place John Edwards - would you like to come back to Americus, and try that stump speech again?

The Barack Obama campaign is trying hard to win Democratic votes in Columbus. On Friday, it brought a bit of Hollywood to town - with appearances by actress Kerry Washington. After playing a temptress last year in the movie "I Think I Love My Wife," you'd think Washington would endorse Bill Clinton's candidate.

Kerry Washington was seen with almost all the major presidential contenders in recent months. But it was clear from a luncheon at the Liberty Theatre that she's taken a stand for Barack Obama. Yet please don't misunderstand - Washington is NOT borrowing from another movie, and declaring him The Next King of America.

Kerry Washington says she grew up in a "politically active family," so campaigns like this matter to her. She recalled working on the 2004 campaign in Florida, where anonymous callers spread lies about people being able to vote from their homes by phone. This is for President, folks - not American Idol.

Kerry Washington is SO into politics that she told the Liberty Theatre luncheon at one point: "What we're eating is politics...." I should have asked what the luncheon menu was - to see if Democrats eat chicken, while Republicans eat steak.

Kerry Washington told the Liberty Theatre audience if our country was a true democracy, "Election Day would be a national holiday" - but because it's not, people who "can't get a babysitter" are unable to vote. Someone had to tell Washington after her speech that a full week of early voting opens Monday in Columbus.

Kerry Washington explained she supports Barack Obama because he'll stand up to big corporations, such as the prescription drug industry. This apparently means when President Obama visits the doctor, he won't ask about all those drugs we're told to ask about on TV.

From where I stood outside the Liberty Theatre annex door, almost everyone in the audience was African-American. But the Barack Obama luncheon had a couple of major European-American backers - Teresa Tomlinson of Midtown Inc. and Cathy Williams of the Muscogee County School Board. If Williams backs Obama, maybe he's NOT a big-spending Democrat.

But spending was encouraged at a makeshift "Obama Store" just inside the luncheon door. T-shirts backing the candidate cost 20 dollars -- and if you simply wanted a Barack Obama sign for your yard, it cost eight dollars. Critics may call Democrats socialists, but at election time they're as much into capitalism as anybody.

(If a yard sign costs eight dollars, what about that Barack Obama banner which was stolen from the Columbus headquarters on Third Avenue? That might exceed the limits for small claims court.)

I was hoping to get a brief interview with Kerry Washington at some point in the day, but the organizers of the discussion at Columbus State University told me her schedule there was too tight. It turned out there was no time after the Liberty Theatre luncheon, either - as handlers said she had a "live interview at 1:00." In this race, Foxie-105 must have more clout than Fox-54.

As Kerry Washington left the luncheon to head for Columbus State University, a few fans were able to stop her for autographs and photographs. And there I was, waiting on her -- snapping pictures of a good-looking single Hollywood actress, standing less than 15 feet from you. Wow, being a member of the paparazzi can be fun....

If anyone from TMZ is reading this: Kerry Washington was gracious enough to sign a few autographs, and she posed with fans for a couple of pictures. Her handlers made sure one was taken with luncheon organizer Dr. Robert Wright -- which could set up a future appearance at Columbus Technical College, discussing film processing or something.

A few people had camera phones out and clicking as Kerry Washington headed to her handler's car. And as we left, a woman was irritated -- because a guy was snapping pictures of HER, taking pictures of the star. To which I remarked: "Welcome to the paparazzi."

So what about the Republican candidates for President? The only activity I've seen in Columbus so far is a large Ron Paul billboard on Veterans Parkway, near Manchester Expressway. Paul has a small, loyal following -- but so far, no one has brought him up as the great G.O.P. compromise candidate.

A bit of politics tops the other weekend headlines as well....

+ The Courier reported District Attorney Gray Conger is considering a campaign for district judge. At least we know he'd be impartial - since he's been both a Democratic and Republican prosecutor.

+ Edward DuBose returned to Columbus, to be inaugurated as Georgia NAACP President. It was a bit surprising to see DuBose NOT donning an honorary bright-yellow jacket.

+ Georgia Lieutenant Governor Casey Cagle called for an easing of state water restrictions. One proposal would let you water your lawn, if you pass an online conservation course. And how are enforcers supposed to know for sure who passed it -- by hacking into their computers, to drain their personal data as well?

+ A lack of running water led to an early dismissal at Muscogee Elementary School. So one school was leaking natural gas Friday, while another school lacked water?! Maybe Keep Columbus Beautiful should stop the crepe myrtle planting at Spencer High.

+ Jordan knocked off Northside 88-70 in a big local boys' basketball game. WRBL showed a big crowd on hand, which was good to see - but then again, the only good alternative for local sports fans was watching figure skaters fall down on NBC.

+ ~~In other sports news,~~ Miss Georgia Leah Massee finished in the Top 16 at the Miss America pageant. One of Massee's relatives made news in Las Vegas, by criticizing the pageant's effort to make fun of its longtime image. You can spot the pageant contestant who spent too much money on hairspray....

+ Instant Message to WRBL's Steve Garrett: You've been on the air so much in the last month - yet you're still simply a "forecaster," not a meteorologist? Do you have to pass a CRCT exam this spring, too?

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: The jokes for today have concluded, but you're welcome to read on for some other thoughts from the weekend.)

BUT SERIOUSLY: Saturday marked the funeral of Mildred Upshaw. She died Tuesday, as a cold wave covered Columbus - after living outside without a home for more than 40 years. Upshaw somehow survived the 1985 single-digit chill, and the 1993 "Storm of the Century." But at age 79, her warm heart may have finally run out of internal heat.

Mildred Upshaw was known in parts of Columbus as "the pigeon lady," because she took time to feed them A relative told Saturday's Ledger-Enquirer she was NOT mentally ill - at least, no more than the rest of us. I suppose the rest of us are stupid enough to be addicted to natural gas heat, and willing to pay higher rates to use it in January and February.

Mildred Upshaw came up at the church congregation I visited Saturday. A woman quoted from an old newspaper article, in which a writer called Upshaw "one of the most intelligent people I've ever met." That quote struck me as bizarre. If Upshaw was so intelligent, why was she not smart enough to come in from the cold?

(During the discussion, I also learned the "buggy man" of Veterans Parkway and Airport Thruway was hospitalized from this past week's cold wave - and reportedly is having both his legs amputated. Assuming the public pays his bill after the items in his overflowing cart are sold, our tax dollars or medical bills may pay for his new motorized wheelchair.)

Mildred Upshaw talked in that old newspaper article about having a relationship with God -- and a Bible was found at the spot where she died. Yet her life reminds me of some Bible verses, which may sound tough but are well stated. One says some people may have a zeal for God, but "not according to knowledge." Another notes some people are "ever learning, but never coming to a knowledge of the truth."

The woman who brought up Mildred Upshaw at church expressed hope that the "pigeon lady" will find the home with God that she wanted. I don't rule that out - but I hope other homeless people learn a lesson from this. There's nothing in the Bible which says you HAVE to do without the basics of life, such as shelter and food. After all, Mother Teresa provided such things - but didn't go without them herself.

SCHEDULED MONDAY: A local elected official feels like he's being watched....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1247 (+ 36, 3.0%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Friday, January 25, 2008

for 26 JAN 08: STRAIGHT OUTTA SPLITSVILLE

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

From time to time we're asked to alert you to upcoming local events. Here's one, for those who might be interested:

Hello Richard,

Here is some info you may either want to include or check out for your blog!

On Feb 6 at 7 pm, celeb attorney and author John Mayoue will be speaking and conducting a book signing at the Columbus Park North Barnes & Noble (5555 Whittlesey Blvd). It will be a sort of "how-to" session on emerging from a divorce financially and emotionally intact - particularly interesting in light of Britney Spears' upcoming custody hearing.

FYI: Mayoue has represented Jane Fonda in her divorce from Ted Turner, David Justice in his divorce from Halle Berry, and Marianne Gingrich. His current roster incldues Chris Rock, and P.Diddy, among others. Also, all proceeds from his book go to benefit Camp Sunshine, a facility for children with cancer.

If your readers would like more information, they may call Jennifer at 706-653-7880.

Hope this is helpful!

Sarah Meyers

Excuse me for asking a silly question. But if you needed to recover emotionally from a divorce, would you turn to a lawyer? They're known for providing legal counsel -- but the other kind?!

It's one thing for an attorney to have big-name clients. But to have them as the result of failed marriages makes for a sad roll call. It's a bit like being the agent for several of the baseball players listed in George Mitchell's steroid report.

Yes, I can hear some of you already. I'm a single guy -- so I shouldn't be commenting on marriage, much less divorce. But my parents divorced during my senior year of high school, after 26 years of marriage. Records show they stayed together during my teenage years mainly because of me - which seems to make them a bit more honorable than Britney Spears and The "Diddy-Daddy."

Divorce attorneys make their money cleaning up the damage from a failed marriage - and sometimes writing books about how they do it. But isn't there a better way to handle this? People already are trying to do this with the AIDS virus, and even children's cancer. It's called prevention....

Divorce prevention can occur when a marriage is "on the rocks," as Hollywood tabloids used to call it. But it actually should begin before the marriage happens. It's about making a plan to succeed -- and I really don't think that should include a "pre-nup" agreement.

Before brides and grooms race to the altar, they should slow down and think about what they're about to do. Numerous agencies offer premarital counseling, as do some churches. Counselors might spot some things the couples haven't considered. Even some large and important things - like which way you unroll the bathroom tissue.

The group Orleans had a hit song around 1980 called "Love Takes Time." The pain of a divorce can linger for an even longer time. My Bible shows love is much better, and is what God is all about. Shouldn't that be where our emphasis should be? After all, the only country known for a "Day of Hate" was Cambodia under Pol Pot.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1211 (- 220, 15.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

25 JAN 08: FABULOUS 50

"We started cutting into the cat...." No, not the cake - the CAT. A guest speaker talked about cat-cutting Thursday, at the first event marking Columbus State University's 50^th anniversary. What better way to spend your lunch hour....

The woman who brought this up was Marlene Melvin, who was invited to speak at the kickoff event for C.S.U.'s golden anniversary. She was one of 31 people in the first graduating class of 1960, and was asked to go through what she called "the museum of my memory." Based on some of her comments, it turned out to be a bit like "Ripley's Believe It or Not."

Marlene Melvin said a reproductive sciences class found a pregnant cat in an alley one day, and decided to experiment with it. She told a crowd moved from the C.S.U. clock tower to the Davidson Student Center: "My job was to hold the cup...." Now now - don't get wrong ideas, you urology students....

Marlene Melvin explained she held a cup over the pregnant cat's mouth, so it could breathe. That's when she uttered the line that had some spectators rolling their eyes with disbelief: "We started cutting into the cat." Trouble is, Melvin's cup slipped - and the cat "died on the operating table." It's a wonder an animal rights activist didn't scream at that moment and rush the platform.

Marlene Melvin said after the death of that pregnant cat, the local humane society made sure no more experiments were conducted with live animals. This may explain why no real cougars prowl around, at Columbus State University sports events.

Marlene Melvin also recalled the first student function at the old Columbus College in 1958 - a "Harvest Hop" with lots of straw. I should have asked her if anyone twisted that straw, to make it look like a noose.

Then there was the early Columbus College float in the Bi-City Christmas Parade - and the male student who suggested to Marlene Melvin that a Santa Claus be put on it, to hand out beer to children. Does this explain why I didn't recognize any of the 31 names in the first graduation class?

Marlene Melvin lives in south Alabama today, and admitted she had her doubts about attending the golden anniversary reunion for Columbus State University. She feared the event would be for old folks - only to have a four-year-old grandson remind her: "You ARE the old folks."

In fact, Marlene Melvin had not returned to Columbus State University since she graduated in 1960. She was impressed by how things have changed since the first fall semester at the old Shannon Hosiery Mill. Today C.S.U. has about 7,600 students - and much of the Riverpark campus is still in an old mill.

Columbus State President Frank Brown invited Bo Callaway to the platform as well, for Thursday's golden anniversary kickoff. Callaway was on the Georgia Board of Regents when the college became part of the state university system. So why isn't there a garden on campus, named after him?

After the story about cutting a cat was finished, it was time to cut a cake. Two big ones were prepared to mark Columbus State University's golden anniversary. But it was a standard white cake with white icing - because the price of gold is way up there these days.

We thank the blog reader who alerted us to free cake - but that wasn't the half of it. The refreshment tables included hot apple cider, flatbread wraps with turkey, and decorative nacho chips with salsa. But the organizers made one big mistake. The nacho chips were red, gold and green with no C.S.U. blue corn in sight.

(I was even able to get seconds - which led me to think Thursday's "Homeless Resource Fair" may have been at the wrong place.)

The golden anniversary celebration continued all afternoon at Columbus State. Students were invited to Woodruff Gym, for a 1950's costume contest. Women wore poodle skirts - and hopefully did NOT feel tempted to go looking for pregnant poodles.

The afternoon also included a groundbreaking ceremony for Columbus State's next building - the "Schuster Student Success Center." If you can say that five times fast without a slip, you're a success in language arts courses.

I'm not sure why Columbus State University needs a Student Success Center. Does this mean the graduates of the last 50 years were NOT successes? Or is this like the Academic Success Center - and it's really for college students on probation or parole?

The party doesn't stop at Columbus State University today - as a Hollywood actress is coming to campus. Kerry Washington will join in "a discussion on Barack Obama." Considering the fliers promoting this are paid for by the Obama presidential campaign, I'm assuming everyone is expected to talk nicely about him.

BLOG UPDATE: The final vote was taken Thursday night, to build the Muscogee County School District's new administration building. The school board voted 5-4 in favor of a bond issue, worth as much as $18 million. If the board had voted no, a wonderful mathematics lesson would have been lost.

WRBL's late news broke down the 5-4 school board vote. The supporters included Patricia Hugley Green - which could set up an interesting competition with City Manager Isaiah Hugley. Both the city and school district will want approval of one-cent sales tax questions. If voters support only one, will the Hugleys quietly hand over money to each other?

Superintendent John Phillips denied claims that the high cost of the central administration building has cost the school district, in terms of voter trust. He said everything promised in recent school sales tax issues has been done -- and besides, only a handful of people still have the list of projects from the last issue, anyway.

But school board member "Fife for Fighting" Whiteside warned if the district can't keep its recent commitments, voters won't commit more school sales tax money to them in the future. And if the critics are as numerous as they claim to be, the next major high school expansion in Columbus may be at Pacelli.

School board member Cathy Williams also opposed the bond issue, saying the district should NOT go into debt to pay for a new central administration building. More government officials in general could learn a lesson from my Thursday nights at poker tournaments. If you run out of chips, you go bust and can't play anymore.

It happens that a poll released in Atlanta Thursday found 52 percent of Georgians are dissatisfied with public schools. Wow - I never realized that many districts are planning new central office buildings.

A strange thing happened earlier in the day, at the site of the new administration building. A driver veered off Rigdon Road, and crashed into a giant hole where the Sears Automotive Center used to be. You may draw your own comparisons, with the amount of debt in the bond issue....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Our comment about the new "Back to the Grind" coffee stand in the Bibb City neighborhood Thursday brought this....

You fail to understand the "cultish" nature of the StarBucks movement. Just any ole coffee shop will not do. It would do Bibb City some good, Starbucks people like loft apartments. They go hand in hand. Soon more high tech industries will be able to relocate to Bibb City because of the Starbucks as well.

Ohhhh -- so it's the Starbucks chain that's the cult here?! I thought there was a general addiction to coffee. I've attended church with people who simply had to drink a hot cup before the service, even when it's 98 degrees in August.

But there's a good point here, about "Starbucks people" liking loft apartments. Yes, they DO go hand-in-hand. In fact, it's more like hand-over-fist - as both require a good deal of disposable income.

WLTZ reported Thursday was the most depressing day of the year -- but we found other things which might cheer you up:

+ The Muscogee County Schools called off classes at Kendrick High School today, due to a natural gas leak. It doesn't help that the Academic Success Center has all the available space heaters for awhile....

+ An Alabama state board fired Southern Union State Community College President Susan Salatto. She was cited for 20 different policy violations. And if the baseball team can't compete with Chattahoochee Valley Community College, something simply has to change.

+ The annual "One Columbus" dinner honored Aflac's Dan Amos for promoting diversity in the workplace. Amos said he doesn't like to take a "cookie-cutter mentality" when it comes to employees. The use of a duck in Aflac's commercials should tell you that....

+ Georgia Corrections Commissioner James Donald told a legislative budget hearing the state will need 15,000 new medium-security prison beds by 2015. I'm sorry, but I'm not donating mine - because I still consider waterbeds very comfortable.

(James Donald said the Georgia prison system needs to separate prisoners - between "those we're afraid of, and those we're just mad at." Is there really a difference between the two? Plenty of workers get mad at their bosses - but they're also afraid they'll be fired.)

+ Georgia flattened Florida in women's basketball 82-55. It was the 700^th career win for coach Andy Landers - so he should watch his mailbox for a proclamation from Pat Robertson, officially admitting him to The 700 Club.

+ Another women's basketball game found Louisiana State stopping Auburn 79-59. It was billed as "Cram the Coliseum Night" in Auburn. But so many seats were empty or blocked off by curtains that the only thing "crammed" might have been popcorn in boxes.

+ Instant Message to former Mayor Bob Poydasheff: It was good to see you downtown the other day! I saw you walk across Second Avenue toward the Government Center, simply holding that cane instead of using it. But it's too bad I didn't have my camera out - so show you jaywalking in the middle of the block.

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: Oh no - an e-mail brings up Britney Spears!....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1431 (+ 38, 2.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.