22 APR 09: Where's Jimbo?

The e-mail had a title involving "Christmas" and came from an address with "animal story" in it, so I almost dumped it as spam. But then I took a closer look....

Have you ever given a Christmas gift that was a picture of yourself?

Has anyone ever noticed the number of pictures of the mayor in the government center? There are big ones, small ones, air-brushed ones! here are at least 17 in one room! That room where he shows off his pictures looks like a self-designated memorial to himself. What was he thinking? Does it strike you as just a bit self-centered? It reminds me of the totalitarian states, like Iraq, where the leader put up his picture as the national symbol! I bet the mayor gives pictures of himself as Christmas gifts!

Now now - let's calm down a minute. Someone named a street after Bob Poydasheff while he was Columbus mayor. That hasn't happened with Jim Wetherington yet. But then, someone may be saving that honor for a new police precinct.

I wasn't sure what this reader was talking about. So Tuesday, I went on a "scavenger hunt" of sorts at the Columbus Government Center. How many pictures of Mayor Wetherington would I find? Is he staring at visitors around every turn, giving the impression that all 100 new police officers look exactly like him?

So I wouldn't give myself away, I didn't even carry a wallet with me. I entered the Government Center on the east side. No pictures of the mayor were visible at the security checkpoint -- but then again, is his signature on all city employee ID badges?

Our picture search proceeded from there....

+ Tag Office: Mayor Wetherington appears on three small pictures, in a display showing the opening of the temporary tag office at Fort Benning last year. One picture is blurry, and skeptics might argue it was stuck on the photo with Krazy Glue.

But the bulletin board with the pictures is at the back of the Tag Office line. People looking forward to the pay windows are unlikely to notice it. They're more likely to watch the overhead TV monitor - which was showing CNBC Tuesday, not the greatest moments of the mayor's inaugural address.

A quick glance down the pay windows finds no sign of Mayor Wetherington's picture. But I can't see the floor behind the windows, where he might stare up at all the transactions.

+ Property Tax Office: No pictures are noticeable on either side of the hallway. Maybe the walls are as frozen as the assessment rates.

+ Elevators in the tower: No pictures there. In fact, the list of offices merely says "Mayor's Office" on the sixth floor. Several judges are named - proving city government may indeed have checks and balances.

+ Courtrooms on the tenth floor: No picture is in the foyer - but I'm not really surprised. Mayor Wetherington is obviously the "order" side of Law and Order.

"Do you have a domestic case?" a bailiff quietly asks me at the door to Courtroom 3. This is the only point in the search where I reveal what I'm doing. I don't want people thinking I'm doing something crazy and weird, you know....

The bailiff assures me there's NO picture of Mayor Wetherington on the walls of the courtroom. If you want to see a mayor there, show up when Judge Bobby Peters is presiding.

+ Sixth floor: A tall figure stands to my right, greeting a group of children. Now this is.... oh wait. That's no picture. It really IS the mayor.

I hasten to the elevators, before Mayor Wetherington in his reception area is distracted by me. But I notice a large picture on the wall of that area, showing the RiverCenter. Isn't that amazing? You'd think there would be a picture of the Public Safety Center.

+ Tower Plaza Level: It's an off day for Columbus Council, so that room is dark. But I recall my last visit to chambers, for a trash collection hearing last summer. Mayor Wetherington was absent - and so cardboard look-alike was set up in his chair as a replacement.

I walk around to the other side of the Plaza Level, and seem to hit the jackpot. A bulletin board on the elevator wall is filled with 17 pictures of Mayor Wetherington. But I can't tell for sure if the biggest one is airbrushed. On this day, "airbrushing" better fits what happened to my hair while walking outside in the wind.

But notice a couple of things about this display. The theme is "Service Above Self," and features the mayor giving awards to other city employees instead of accepting them. One award went to Civic Center Marketing Director Robin Walker - probably for her reputation of doing TV commercials in only one take.

The other thing about this display is its location. It's in a room commonly used for news conferences and big city events - but all the seats are turned in the opposite direction of the bulletin board. So everyone in effect would turn their backs on the mayor 17-fold. So challengers in next year's city election are more likely to use that room, not less.

With the big prize found, we ended our image search -- and we concluded this writer is exaggerating things a bit. Mayor Jim Wetherington's picture is NOT lurking around every turn, as if he's Saddam Hussein. And if his staff really wanted to show him off, they'd follow the example of Cleveland and cover one side of the Government Center with it.

By the way: no, I've never given a holiday gift showing my own picture. I know better than that. People are likely to find a heavy bar of fruitcake much more valuable.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Let's take one more message, about one of our Tuesday topics....

THe new (if it happens) library hours really makes more sense...My guess is that 99% of the people there earlier and later are there to hangout..THose working mothers who drop their kids off in the summer for the library to watch over will just drop them to sit outside until the library opens..You do know that kids are dropped with brown bag lunch to spend the day?.Moms have been told this will not work..I think DFCS should be called and kids taken into custody after a warning. I go about once a month,never on Sunday because of roving bands of loud teens who hangout. When I do go the same straggley long haired unkept man is always sitting upstairs in the same chair facing the outside front of the building.He is aways reading the paper or a book and bothering no one..I have also seen in nearly the same area a lady helping adults learn to read.It is heartbreaking to see nicely kept people reading children's stories and stumbling over the words...I just want to tell them all "God Bless."

I love the Columbus Library and remember the first book I ever checked out over 50 years ago.

There's one advantage to dropping off children at the library for the day. It's a lot less expensive than dropping them at the mall bookstore.

I've never run across those "bands of loud teens" at the Columbus Public Library on Sunday afternoons. Maybe it's because the main library now encourages them to show up on Friday afternoons for "music, games and fun." For instance: can you name that rap song from the first four syllables?

A couple of other mailbag items will be kept for another day. But thanks to all who write - and now let's see what made news on Tuesday:

+ Columbus city crews were able to clear away storm debris and reopen 13^th Street. Sunday's tornado knocked over so many trees that next year's "Arbor Day" may be extended to two weeks.

+ WFXE-FM "Foxie 105" was off the air for a second day. But Davis Broadcasting played announcements on its other stations, promising it will be back soon. If the company really was concerned about this, the WEAM-AM afternoon sports talk show would change its name from "In the Zone" to "In the Fox Hole."

(We dialed around a bit, and found WFRC-FM also is off the air. That's the Family Radio station at 90.5 FM, whose president is predicting the world will end in October 2011. So part of me wonders why they'd even bother trying to restore the signal....)

+ St. John A.M.E. Church on Steam Mill Road announced Pastor Jeremiah Wright will appear at a revival in two weeks. Those of you who prepared for Wright before he canceled last May must be thrilled by this - and your protest signs probably haven't faded very much.

+ The Phenix City Council approved an exception to its new public smoking rules. An exception was granted to bars - as if the smell of cigarette smoke will hide how diluted the beer is.

+ Ben & Jerry's on Veterans Parkway held its annual "Free Cone Day" giveaway. Talk about brash confidence - the news release actually admitted the ice cream chain has done this for 31 years.

+ Instant Message to Jimmy Dean: I'm sorry to hear your home in Virginia caught fire. But I can't help wondering - how did it smell?

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