12 MAR 09: Out of a Sow's Earmark

President Obama may not have wanted to do it, but he signed a federal spending bill Wednesday which critics say is loaded with pork-barrel spending. The President suggested all "earmarks" be posted on Congressional web sites. I might have suggested marking the ears of every lawmaker which proposed one.

We found an online database on the earmarks Wednesday night, and discovered several of them are aimed at our area. For instance, Rep. Sanford Bishop made sure Chattahoochee County gets $250,000 to improve its "water infrastructure." If you're going to name your county after the river, you might as well have pipes coming from it.

Sanford Bishop also gained more than $73,000 for a Columbus office of the "Southwest Georgia Rural Small Business Development Initiative." Someone will have to call that office, to see if any of Bishop's relatives work there now.

Speaking of which, what do you know - one of the new earmarks provides $75,000 for the Muscogee County Marshal's Office. This may be the perfect time for Greg Countryman to swallow his pride, borrow from Gov. Sonny Perdue and turn some federal money down.

Other Sanford Bishop earmarks will bring even more federal funds for Columbus:

+ Columbus Regional Medical Center and St. Francis Hospital - $95,000 each. The database only says the money is for "facilities and equipment." This had better not mean dueling Starbucks coffee shops.

+ Mildred Terry branch library - $95,000. Apparently it's not good enough to fill the shelves with leftovers from the Friends of the Library book sale.

+ Urban League of Greater Columbus - $50,000. Uh-oh. This could spark another discrimination complaint by Bill Madison of the NAACP, because he's getting nothing.

+ Great South Bay, New York - $74,000. Huh?! Bishop's name is the only one on that earmark - so maybe he's looking for a retirement home out-of-state.

So how much pork did the other Georgia Congressman serving Columbus bring home? The amazing answer - nothing. Out of 9,309 earmarks, Rep. Lynn Westmoreland's name is on none of them. We may have found a clue about a 2012 Presidential candidate....

The curious thing is that both of Georgia's senators voted against the spending bill - yet Saxby Chambliss's name is by itself on seven different earmarks. And he joined Sanford Bishop in requesting $209,000 "to improve blueberry production and efficiency." I didn't realize they had to keep up with the strawberries.

One area member of Congress is receiving plenty of attention over this spending bill. Alabama Senator Richard Shelby is linked to 125 different.... well, those aren't simply "earmarks." That's enough for a full-scale tattoo.

For some bloggers, government waste is a big issue -- and they've been on Richard Shelby for years, for bringing "pork-barrel spending" to Alabama in large amounts. Some are especially stunned because Shelby is a Republican -- but they forget he converted from the Democrats 15 years ago.

The online database offers details on some of Richard Shelby's 125 earmarks. While several of them mention Auburn and Opelika, not one of them specifically is aimed at Phenix City. That Troy University partnership deal must be better than anyone realized....

Rep. Mike Rogers joined Senator Shelby in requesting some of the earmarks. One of them sets aside $75,000 to provide the city of Auburn a "mobile data system." I'm old enough to remember when this was called a laptop computer.

There's also $991,000 for something related to "vaccines and microbe control for fish health" in Auburn. It's not enough to catch a fish anymore - now you may have to make sure it's vaccinated against polio.

Then there's the $100,000 earmark for the Union Springs YMCA, with part of the money going for a "juvenile justice program." Maybe Hurtsboro should start asking Senator Shelby for help -- because critics say that town has no justice system at all.

-> We're having a "double-down" two-tournament poker week. Keep up with the twists and turns at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <--

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION about local TV news closed Wednesday afternoon, and there's good news for WRBL. A 58-percent majority of our voters want the 12:00 noon and 5:00 p.m. newscasts to continue, while 25 percent say they should stop. And 17 percent voted for "keep us guessing" - so they must be the fans of Judge Karen.

Our week-long poll took a very unexpected turn when someone left a comment about us. He/she called our posts "inappropriate," and called us a "250-pound loser" and a "fat pig." Wow, not even Rush Limbaugh is receiving public comments like this....

Another commenter rallied to our defense, writing the claims were "outrageously vicious.... without reason." And before rumors start - no, that woman is already married to someone else.

So what is the truth? Is your blogger a 250-pound fat loser? We investigated this Wednesday afternoon - by walking into the bathroom. The medicine cabinet mirror only provides a good look at my face and chest. But my cheeks certainly are not as chubby as you see on some high school football linemen.

We stepped upon our admittedly old non-electronic scale, and discovered our current weight is about 200 pounds. So if the critic is a WRBL fan, we hereby invoke "Price is Right" rules and declare that person a loser due to an overbid.

Now to other less weighty matters, from the Wednesday news:

+ Victor Feliciano of Valley Interfaith Promise told your blog last weekend's charity bed race raised about $6,200. That's twice what he expected, even before the 28 February rain-out - so now the agency might be able to pay for a shopping trip to Bed Bath and Beyond.

+ The price of gas dropped below $1.60 in downtown Columbus, reaching $1.57 at a couple of locations. I'd better not hear any more economists warn about the dangers of deflation....

+ Synovus announced it's reducing the quarterly stock divided from six cents a share to one cent. Is this really a good idea? Now people will spread bogus rumors that Synovus is a "penny stock."

+ Callaway Gardens held a job fair for seasonal positions. One open position was for a "beach ranger" - which should have attracted plenty of Fort Benning soldiers who served in Iraq.

+ WLTZ showed a list of tips for students going on spring break. One of them was to "stay hydrated." But surprisingly, none of them mentioned staying away from Mexico.

+ Columbus High School rolled over Russell County in baseball 10-0. WRBL noted former Northern Little League star Kyle Carter now is playing for Columbus. I'd tip my hat to him - except I still remember how much controversy that caused three years ago.

+ Instant Message to Club H2O on Veterans Parkway: Who is this guest singer you're bringing in Friday night - Colt Ford? Is he the son of King?

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

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