Sunday, July 27, 2008

27 JUL 08: GET DOWN ON IT



Sometimes it's good news when something goes down. For instance, gasoline prices in Phenix City have dropped to around $3.76 per gallon. Phenix City hasn't been this far ahead of Columbus on a trend since Wal-Mart started opening SuperCenters.



But there are also times when something goes down, and it's bad news. Columbus has plenty of those cases to consider this weekend - beginning with education. A state report shows 21 Muscogee County schools failed to make "adequate yearly progress." They include Carver High School - which must mean final fours in football and boys' basketball are still not enough.



In fact, five of the eight Muscogee County high schools fell short of adequate yearly progress. For those of you who might go back to these schools in two weeks -- yes, that's more than 50 percent.



The three high schools which actually made adequate yearly progress are Columbus, Hardaway and Northside. And you have to wonder how Hardaway escaped, with all those soaking-wet students going to and from portable classrooms with ruined notebooks.



(High schools in the "suburbs" didn't fare much better. Chattahoochee County, Harris County and Talbotton-Central all fell short of adequate yearly progress. You can try to outsmart the test by running away, but the test still might be smarter than you.)



The grade schools falling short of adequate yearly progress are scattered all over Columbus - from South Columbus to River Road. Even Downtown Elementary missed A.Y.P., and it's a "magnet academy" in "core knowledge." Apparently that knowledge has to go beyond what the letters in TSYS mean.



The fact that three-eighths of Muscogee County schools fell short (21 out of 56) ought to be a major topic at the next school board meeting. But then, at least two board members are "short-timers" - not to mention becoming a bit short-tempered at what other board members are doing.



This large number of A.Y.P. misses also should be a top priority for the next Muscogee County school superintendent. Now if the consulting firm will go out and find one, instead of impressing board members this week with a survey of likes and dislikes....



The local "down news" began even before the adequate yearly progress came out. Synovus Financial reported its second-quarter net income was down 89 percent from last year. Yeow - I don't think even the Columbus Catfish has had a decline this steep.



Synovus is like many banking companies -- hit hard by high numbers of home foreclosures, especially in metro Atlanta. And the numbers could have been even worse. Let's be thankful Atlanta's baseball team had so many injuries, and called-up minor leaguers needed places to live.



Yet Synovus stock closed Friday above nine dollars a share, and nearly two dollars above its 52-week low of 15 July. I need to start paying closer attention to what the Bradley-Turner Foundation is buying and selling....



Then there's the earnings report from Aflac. Its total revenues in the second quarter were up 15 percent from last year, yet Chairman Dan Amos admitted sales in Japan were weak. Sometimes being "up" can still be "down" - whether you're in business, or strolling on Broadway.



Aflac is trying to keep a positive image about things. The company is showing off the new look of its NASCAR racer at Indianapolis Motor Speedway this weekend. But if that duck isn't wearing a crash helmet, he's simply asking for trouble....



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BLOG UPDATE: "C'mon, Idiot of the Week! Bring it over here." So declared the cashier at a Weems Road bread store Friday afternoon, after seeing the "Idiot of the Week" Award pinned on our shirt. At least I was smart enough to buy a discounted apple pie for 29 cents.



We told that cashier what we told several other people over the last couple of days - if a candidate for Sheriff is going to name us Idiot of the Week, we're going to wear it openly on our shirt. Just like a true idiot should....



"And I'm sure you're proud," the cashier said. Welllll - I'm not sure I'd go that far. I try to stay humble about awards like this. So I won't talk about the soda I spilled in a bag, the plastic hook I broke changing shower curtains - and all the other things which could put me in the running for this coming week.



We even the Idiot of the Week Award to church this weekend. The Bible study teacher called us "I.O.W." for short as we left. And you know what? Put "award" on the end of that abbreviation, and I become Mr. IOWA. I'm not heaven....



E-MAIL UPDATE: Now for two contrasting views of our award. The first comes from the man who pinned it upon us last Thursday....



Richard, I apologize for the comment, calling you the Idiot of the Week, that was a-bit harsh, but after all you and some your contributors have called me worse things. "tit for tat". www.marklajoye.com



Very well, I accept that apology. But oh boy - I was looking SO forward to putting that title on our masthead.



But hold on here - a different blog reader actually congratulated us:



Congrats on winning "Idiot of the Week". There was some stiff competition from the likes of Christian Bale, John Edwards and anyone who writes at the Huffington Post.



This should open doors to you should you decide to run for congress or apply for a management position somewhere.



Paul



Wow - I defeated "Batman!" In a way, this makes me the Bert Coker of Gotham City....



Don't worry, Paul - I do NOT plan to run for Congress. Incumbent Sanford Bishop would be all over me in a hurry. For instance, I haven't visited a hospital with wounded soldiers in several months.



OVERHEARD OVER HERE: A mother and son are walking down an aisle at Wal-Mart, and the boy speaks the words which are currently on so many people's minds.


"When does football start? I'm really bored."



Only five more weeks, college football fans - but we have this weekend news to mention in the meantime:


+ The new Columbus USO office held a "Christmas in July" party for soldiers. Why is it always Christmas? Why isn't it "Valentine's in September," for instance? Do the composers of those schmaltzy December songs really neat a summertime boost in royalty checks?



+ An executive with the Eufaula Heritage Association told WRBL rumors of the Shorter Mansion's imminent closing are NOT true. This should be easy to understand: if tourists keep visiting Shorter, it will stay open longer.



+ Phenix City native Freddie Hart came home, to stage a country music concert at the Amphitheater. I looked from across the river, and the crowd didn't appear that big for the opening acts. Maybe if the city had named some streets after them, too?!



(It was strange to hear an announcer on WBOJ-FM "103.7 The Truth" promoting Freddy Hart and his warm-up acts. You never expect someone at a Christian radio station to talk in positive tones about "Whisky Bent.")



+ Southeastern Conference football "Media Days" ended with journalists predicting Auburn and Florida will win the division titles. Florida was selected over Georgia in the east, even though some experts think Georgia will contend for the national championship. Is it too late for Georgia to put Hawaii on the regular-season schedule?



+ The Atlanta Falcons opened training camp in Flowery Branch. Every player who could identify the new head coach without a name tag was allowed to run two fewer laps.



+ TMZ captured former Falcons running back Jamal Anderson being helped out of a Los Angeles nightclub, appearing very drunk. Isn't he celebrating the tenth anniversary of the Super Bowl appearance a little early?



+ Instant Message to Northside Pawn Shop in Phenix City: Do you really mean to promote that on your electronic signs? Do people really need to know you have AK-47 rifles in stock? I mean, hunting season is still about two months away....



In the first half of 2008, our number of unique visitors jumped 23 percent from last year. To advertise to our readers, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.



BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 901 (- 32, 3.4%)



The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.



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