15 JUL 08: VISION 20/15

"This will be a special order," the woman across the table at Peachtree Mall told me.

"You mean it will take two hours instead of one?" I asked with some hope.

"I'm not talking to you anymore," the woman said with a bit of a laugh. Sometimes people think I'm joking, when I'm really not.

This chat occurred as I was being measured for new eyeglasses at LensCrafters. After four years, I was long overdue for a new pair. And when you take off your current glasses at the computer for a good look at Internet pictures of hotties, you're REALLY overdue.

Eyeglasses tend to be like many other things with me -- a matter of price. I tried a different optical business in 2004, armed with a coupon and a hope that the staff wouldn't make me choose frames after dilating my eyes. But the glasses wound up costing more, and I was still semi-blind at selection time -- or did I sign the wrong receipt, because I couldn't quite read it?

But this summer, I went back to LensCrafters - and I showed up well-prepared. I had a store discount card, along with a mall gift card I received. And thanks to this year's federal stimulus check, I had extra money in the bank to buy new glasses - although I still don't cable TV, to watch the lawmakers on C-SPAN.

Because I hadn't visited LensCrafters in several years, I had to start from scratch in filling out the eye doctor's forms. And this is a business where "scratch resistant" receives so much promotion....

Because I'd gone four years since eye exams, I decided to spend 16 extra dollars and go all the way for a "field test." What a thrilling moment THAT was - having to stare at a computerized farmhouse for several seconds. At least I saw no tractors in the field.

Eye doctors use so many more tools these days, than when I was younger. At one point, the optometrist pointed a bright blue round light directly into my eyes to study them. I told them it was "every K Mart shopper's worst nightmare."

And of course, there was the dilation moment of the exam - when yellow eye drops were put in my eyes. I never use eye drops at all, so these were.... well, it was simply sad. I didn't cry this much at my niece's wedding in May....

But at the end of the exam, the optometrist was an optimist. He told me my vision actually is improving. That shocked me, because I've been taking off my glasses to read small print in recent months. It's a good thing I haven't been shopping for cars.

I've been nearsighted throughout my life, but my left eye now measures 20/15 - which is better than 20/20. And if that's not enough, my vision might be better than the year on the calendar before long.

I've heard from other eye doctors about my vision improving, as my eye somehow adjusts with age. How I did this without buying those ocular vitamins Paul Harvey has pitched for years, I really don't know....

But because I still need bifocals and some extra things on my lenses, the "one-hour" service of LensCrafters turned into a special order which required two weeks. At least the new glasses don't say "Made in China" on them anywhere.

Oh yes, about the frames - I changed my strategy on that this time. I intentionally showed up at LensCrafters 20 minutes early, and selected frames in my mind before the eye exam began. They were chosen while I had full vision - a lesson some single guys in nightclubs would do well to learn.

The two-week wait ended last week, with new glasses and "midnight blue" frames. A LensCrafters sale was even better than my discount card - and with the gift card, I wound up paying $335 for glasses AND a full-course eye exam. That's about $100 less than four years ago. Now if Congress would approve a second stimulus check -- because I'm also overdue to visit the dentist.

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BLOG UPDATE: "I don't know anything about a drug house." So said Muscogee County Sheriff Ralph Johnson to your blog Monday. And if anyone would know about such things, he would - because doesn't his department have undercover officers?

Sheriff Ralph Johnson called back to respond to a rumor mentioned here Sunday - not about himself, but his son. The sheriff could not recall any time around 2004 when Adam Johnson was caught in a "drug house." Perhaps people misunderstood the original story, about Adam possibly hiding drugs in his OWN house....

So whatever happened to Adam Johnson, anyway? The sheriff says his 21-year-old son is now in school, and plans to be married at the end of the summer. Isn't this nice to see? It's almost like Adam Johnson is following the example of Jenna Bush - and now all he needs is a children's book.

We promised to be politics-free on this Georgia Primary day - and we planned to end the Adam Johnson story there. But the candidate for sheriff who first brought this rumor to our attention is not happy with some of what we wrote about it Sunday:

Richard,

Let me make one thing perfectly clear to you, Sir you stated that I made a claim that Adam Johnson was caught inside a drug house, you are a fool to make such an assumption and you better watch what your saying!. If I say anything of importance will personally sign my claim and I do not need you to assume anything for me. Mark LaJoye

All right then, let's make things clear. Mark LaJoye was repeating the "word on the street" about where Adam Johnson was - NOT claiming personally that Johnson was there. We'll ask our readers: is that different? If a candidate states a rumor others started relating to a political opponent, does that make it an accusation against the opponent? Or is it like a TV news anchor reading tabloid headlines aloud at a supermarket?

We're only bringing this up today because the Muscogee County Sheriff's race is NOT a ballot issue today. The Democrat, Independent and Write-In will be up for a vote in November. But given what we've seen already here, the Columbus Council candidates might want to start their printing before Labor Day.

While election items dominated Monday's news, we noticed some other things....

+ Construction began on the new "A.U. Arena" at Auburn University. An athletics official says it will be built especially for basketball. So what about the Auburn gymnastics team? Will it get to paint Beard-Eaves Coliseum pink in a couple of years?

+ WRBL reported West Point is considering a new ordinance for controlling loose dogs - in part because the city lacks an animal control officer. It is SO tempting to make a comment about the Kia employees from South Korea, but I don't dare....

+ Instant Message to Beacon University: I thought you were closing next spring. So why are you running TV commercials, as if you're accepting new students? At least you could show the current students standing along Veterans Parkway, holding buckets and begging for donations.

SCHEDULED WEDNESDAY: After the polls close, our fun is just starting....

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