15 JUN 08: LINGERING AT THE TABLE

Saturday was Flag Day. It was U.S. Army Day. And it also marked an anniversary for me -- although I didn't celebrate it in the proper way. I did NOT go to a poker table Saturday night. Instead, I settled for a little poker slang - and I was a "runner-runner" on the Riverwalk.

It's exactly one year since I started walking down the street to a neighborhood lounge, for its Thursday night poker tournaments. You may be surprised to learn I've made more money than I've spent -- but not yet enough to head for the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas. In fact, I've barely made enough money to drive to a top casino in Mississippi.

Compared to poker nights at places such as The Sports Page and Memory Lane, the Thursday night tournaments at Lil Kim's Cove on Fourth Street are rather small - with usually fewer than 25 players. But don't let the size of the event fool you. The cigarette smoke from those players sticks to my shirt every bit as much.

The rules of the poker tournaments have changed in the last couple of weeks, as someone else besides the manager has taken charge of them. The chip amounts used to range from one to 50 dollars. Now the chip range is 25 to 1,000 dollars. I don't know whether to blame this hyperinflation on OPEC or corn farmers.

One nice change in the rules at Lil Kim's Cove is that players are rewarded for buying drinks. My usual drink is a two-dollar can of diet cola, which earns me 1,000 bonus chips. Other players buy several beers, and gain even more chips -- but then their brains start corroding, and they lose the chips faster.

Ever the stat-keeper, I kept track to see if the weekly poker tournaments are worth the walk and time. I've missed some Thursday nights due to work commitments and other obligations -- but in the 35 weeks I've attended, I've reached the final table 16 times. That's a 46-percent success rate. Poker is a lot more fun than asking women out on dates.

At some casino poker rooms, regular trips to the final table would earn me nice paychecks and a decent living. But at Lil Kim's Cove, only the top two players win prizes. Third place gets the glamourless feeling of finishing third on "American Idol."

But I've finished in the top two on five occasions at Lil Kim's Cove (14 percent). Three of those were outright first-place wins - while one was a negotiated settlement. That way, the other person in the final two could claim the "bucket of beers" awarded to second place. I don't think Columbus Police would let me walk those beers home in a bucket.

I've made a few friends over the last 12 months on poker nights. A former chef named Harry provided the nicest compliment of all several weeks ago, when he looked at me at the final table and said, "This is the man I'm afraid of." Wow -- about the only guy who isn't drinking, smoking, cursing or trash-talking....

The Thursday night tournaments even are providing opportunities for what I'm calling "poker ministry." Occasionally the discussion around the table turns to religious topics. But don't worry - I don't take a Bible, and open it on top of the chips in the middle of a pot.

If I've learned anything about poker in the last year, it's that the game can keep you humble. This past Thursday night provided an example. We were down to the final four players, and I was dealt a pair of aces. But when I pushed all my chips in, a man holding a 2-3 wound up beating me with two pair. And you thought that only happened when Louisiana-Monroe played Alabama....

The relative success I've had on Thursday nights now has me tempted to play in one of those online poker tournaments for big prizes. But a man told me Saturday I should NOT play for money. "It'll only leave you bitter," he said - but I'm not so sure. My youngest niece just married a man who's played in Las Vegas casinos, and they seemed very happy on their wedding night.

On this Father's Day, I ponder what my late father would think about "number-two son" becoming a part-time poker player. I honestly think he'd approve - since he used to spend some late Wednesday nights playing pinochle at the Odd Fellows Lodge. At least, that's what I was told. He never invited me in, to stay up until after midnight and watch -- as he wasn't THAT odd a fellow.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now to one of the most sobering news items of the weekend....

Richard,

As you know I don't particulary care for E-mail...But here it is.

I was really shocked to hear this afternoon about the sudden passing of Tim Russert. During the grand opening of the CNN news center in Atlanta I was very fortunate to have a beer with him and enjoy a wonderful conversation. Although not very interested in politics at that time...he became a favorite news journalist and someone I really got to trust on his show...Meet The Press.

HE WILL BE MISSED!

STEPHEN KING

Stephen called me Saturday, to fill in more details on that meeting around 1980. Russert was 31 at the time, and "not sure what he wanted to do." It appears he made a good choice - and probably spurred the sales of many small dry-erase boards in the last few years.

I never met Tim Russert, but my most recent memory of him was something that annoyed me. In early May he declared on "NBC Nightly News" that the Democratic Presidential race was over, and Barack Obama had won. If we needed a kingmaker in that contest, the mayor of Chicago should have had more experience at it.

NBC undoubtedly will have a special edition of "Meet the Press" today in Tim Russert's honor. And undoubtedly, WLTZ will do what it usually does - showing Bill Purvis and Ann Hardman in the 9:00 a.m. hour, and making us wait until at least 12:00 noon to see it.

LAUGHLINE FLASHBACK/8 Nov 00: Inside the NBC studio [on election night], Tim Russert broke with the high-tech graphics trend - and wrote electoral count projections on a slate board! Who knows? Maybe four years from now Nickelodeon will cover the election - with magnets and Etch-a-Sketch.

With sympathies toward Russert's family and friends, let's check other weekend headlines....

+ A morning jog allowed me to discover the Riverwalk has reopened between the Civic Center and Port Columbus. It was closed about eight months, for work on flood abatement and sewer lines. They repaved the walkway nicely -- but they need to use a better deodorizer, to get rid of that smell.

+ Columbus police reported someone held up the Circle K store on Miller Road, stealing $2,500 worth of cigarettes. Cigarettes?! You mean there's something more expensive and valuable at a Circle K than gasoline?

+ The U.S.O. opened its first Columbus office in years opened at a motel on Victory Drive. Now this is what our soldiers are fighting for -- as the U.S.O. and God Bless Fort Benning compete to serve the best doughnuts and coffee.

+ The U.S. Postal Service marked Flag Day by issuing a postage stamp with the Alabama state flag. Shame on all you Georgians who plan to put it on envelopes upside-down, as a distress signal.

(I still have a Bear Bryant postage stamp from the 1990s stashed away somewhere. Somehow, I doubt a full set ever will be issued showing Mike Dubose and Dennis Franchionne.)

+ The Columbus Catfish postponed its Saturday night baseball game due to rain. It was Fort Benning night at Golden Park - but those soldiers simply didn't yell loudly enough to scare away the raindrops.

(Rain delayed the Catfish game for a time on Friday night, so the post-game fireworks went off at 11:45 p.m. - after I had gone to bed at 11:30. I could see and hear the fireworks outside my window. The only thing lacking was a hot date, to spark some ideas.)

+ Mayor Jim Wetherington told WRBL he's satisfied with recent changes in the Columbus Fire Department, since the reprimand of Chief Jeff Meyer. We'd be more likely to believe it if Meyer appeared on the billboards, promoting the one-percent sales tax question.

+ Instant Message to Bert Coker: OK, I think you're against the sales tax question. But it was hard for me to follow your explanation on the TV news, because of that white cowboy hat you wore. Are you selling cars for a living now -- maybe in Houston?

COMING MONDAY: Potential evidence that's just waiting to be collected....

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