1 JUN 06: B.A.-D MOVE
The news left me shocked - simply SHOCKED! I found out Wednesday the Krystal restaurant in downtown Columbus had closed. Why, the day this happens is the day Katie Couric leaves the "Today" show. And that could - oh wait....
Krystal burgers have left downtown Columbus, after about 40 years. The restaurant was located next door to McDonald's, near 14th and Veterans Parkway -- so I guess the apple walnut salads finally settled this long battle for customers.
WRBL reported Krystal is closing the downtown location, in exchange for opening a new restaurant in "north Columbus." Aw, c'mon! Sometimes those little 60-cent burgers are the only things police officers can afford just before payday.
I didn't realize until Wednesday how deprived north Columbus was, to not have a Krystal. There's one on Veterans Parkway just north of Airport Thruway - but Krystal is so old-fashioned that it's listed in the white pages as being on Beallwood Connector.
But northsiders face a challenge in driving to that Krystal, because it's on the east side of Veterans Parkway. You have to turn around in the intersection at Airport Thruway to eat there - and if your SUV has power steering trouble, Hartz Chicken is waiting to pick up the frustrated leftovers.
We don't know yet exactly where the new Krystal will go. But corporate officials say it will reflect the new look of its restaurants. That look is already on the 280 Bypass in Phenix City, with a large bulging Krystal on a black sign -- reminding me a bit of the stomachs of many customers.
Not that many years ago, Veterans Parkway actually had three Krystals. A small stand at the River Road triangle closed around 1999. It was so small that it had no drive-through lane -- although walkers from the Wilson Apartments probably didn't care.
I don't really qualify for the "Krystal Lovers Hall of Fame" promoted by the chain, but there are several memories I have of the now-closed downtown restaurant:
+ The drive-through lane, which was constantly rough and in need of repaving. It was as if people came through five times a day, their cars getting heavier with each trip after a meal....
+ The woman who stopped me on Fifth Street one Saturday night, promising she'd pay me two dollars if I drove her to that Krystal. Only after she was in the car did she reveal she'd have to beg strangers for the money.
+ The man who approached my car late one night, saying "voices in his head" told him to go to Tuskegee. I drove the man to the bus station and bought a ticket for him - since if I drove him all the way to Tuskegee, the voices might have congratulated him and said the next stop was Mobile.
What makes the closing of this Krystal a bit strange is that hundreds of college students soon will live downtown, attending the Columbus State University arts campus. What are they going to do for late-night munchies? Their fast-food options are down to a McDonald's drive-thru and Spectrum hot dogs.
I was reminded of the new downtown influx Wednesday night, when WXTX "News at Ten" showed pictures of tall fences along the 1000 block of Broadway. I assume there's a fence in front of Locos Amigos -- so everyone gets a taste of what the Minuteman Project is doing in Arizona.
Brad Hedges of the Cannon Brew Pub expressed concern that with tall fences along the 1000 block of Broadway, drunken customers might get into fights on weekends. But why would a fence increase the chances for that? Are that many pro wrestling fans anxious to try a steel cage match?
The Streetscape project is entering the busiest block in the downtown Columbus renaissance. Some restaurant owners say they've already lost 60 percent of their business - overlooking the fact that plenty of empty storefronts are in the 1200 block, just waiting for them to move.
Richard Bishop of Uptown Columbus, Inc. says the Streetscape work should be finished by the end of the year. He predicts business will return to barren blocks in the next year or two. But I haven't noticed any of the available businesses showing fast-food drive-through lanes.
Now some other things to chew on from the last day of May....
+ Government Center rumors of a mass sickout by Columbus city employees turned out to be false. It couldn't have been "blue flu," since that's normally associated with police - but brown or gray flu doesn't sound quite the same.
+ Phenix City police reported Charles Johnson surrendered, and confessed to a series of recent robberies. He reportedly broke into stores to steal large amounts of Newport cigarettes. If menthol is THAT addictive, I may never rub Mentholatum on my chest for a cold again.
(Police told WRBL Charles Johnson's latest crime was a Wednesday hold-up at the Dolly Madison bread store on the Freddie Hart Parkway. If he was addicted to Twinkies, this might be understandable....)
+ The annual "Drive for the Cure" found test-drivers raising money to fight cancer at BMW of Columbus. I did NOT take part this year, because the business moved from downtown to Whittlesey Boulevard -- and with high gas prices, the free food there isn't really free anymore.
+ Alabama State Senator Jim Dial released a new campaign commercial, in which his wife Fay sticks up for him. You see, this proves it - inside lobbyists have Dial in the palms of their hands.
(The "attack ads" in this State Senate race claim this is really a battle between lawyers paying $5,000 for shoe shines, and lobbyists who want payday loan shops to charge 455 percent interest. I thought this over - and you know, the shoe shiners probably appreciate that big money a lot more.)
+ Instant Message to the Columbus Public Library: Wow - greeters at the entrance, in wheelchairs? If a few cluttered bookshelves were added to the lobby, I might mistake your building for a Wal-Mart....
BIG PREDICTION: The winning word in Thursday night's National Spelling Bee will have ten letters.... I mean, how else are they supposed to bet on this event in Las Vegas?....
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