Wednesday, July 28, 2004

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28 JUL 04: THE TOWN CRIER



A change in my work schedule has moved my daily jogging time this week to about 7:05 a.m. I may have mentioned here before that my body takes a few days to adjust from evening to morning running. For instance, something in my throat has me coughing enough to make people think I'm a chain smoker.



But as my Monday morning run began, I found noise coming from a different place. As I turned off 4th Street toward the Golden Park stairway to the Riverwalk, a woman was yelling loudly - all by herself. Of course, these days it could mean many things. For instance, her cell phone battery might be weak....



The woman had a jacket on over exercise togs, and the hood of that jacket over her head. Considering it's late July and the morning low is above 70 degrees F., she's a classic example of someone needing vitamins with iron.



The yelling woman walked north toward the corner of 4th and Broadway. I jogged south from that corner, and it was clear our paths very well could cross. Should I ignore her? Ask if I can help her? Or declare her demon-possessed, and offer to cast it out?



I've had a few encounters with yelling people on sidewalks before. Several years ago I walked a few blocks from an Atlanta MARTA station to a high school graduation on a Sunday afternoon, and a man passed me grumbling loudly about
something. This is why AM radio talk shows should take calls seven days a week.



But what was going on with this upset woman at the edge of South Commons? Could it possibly be that missing Utah woman, far from home and battling amnesia? Could it possibly be a member of Judge Roxann Daniel's campaign, still coming to terms with reality?



As I ran by the woman, she stopped me to jogging in place. "What's your name?" I told her, and asked for hers.


"I am Paula W. Azzario!" Well, at least she didn't declare herself the Queen of the new Iraq....



Then came a dramatic moment. I paused while jogging in place, to see if the woman had anything more to say. About 100 yards from this spot, a man stopped me after a winter evening's jog a couple of years ago and gave me a 40-minute non-stop pep talk. He brought up Jehovah's Witnesses, military strategy, Michael Jackson - anything but the windbreaker I needed.



Paula said nothing. I didn't press the issue, so I kept moving toward the Riverwalk. Given my history, the end of this meeting was unusual - but I don't carry any money for beggars when I jog, anyway.



I'm not sure, but I believe I live a few blocks from some kind of halfway house for people in substance abuse treatment. This may explain some of the curious people I meet in the neighborhood - who all could make big money come September in a carnival sideshow at The South Commons Festival.



As I finished my morning jog and walked home to get ready for the work day, I happened to pass the hooded woman again. I could understand her venting a bit better now - something about "the white gown of Columbus, Georgia; Ku Klux Klan haters...." And you thought people in white gowns only worked at insane asylums.



BLOG UPDATE Now Fort Benning has put Columbus Shuttle on suspension, for use in anything but leisure travel. Is there some sort of sneaky budget shift going on here -- with Benning officers replacing the Columbus Police vice squad?



(C'mon, you Benning commanders - I think the talk of a new brigade moving in means you don't have to work so hard to stay off the base closing list.)



WRBL reported Tuesday a Fort Benning inspection found problems with random drug tests by Columbus Shuttle. So THAT'S what the suspension is about! I've been in these shuttle vans, and there certainly wasn't any room for prostitution....



The Fort Benning inspection of Columbus Shuttle apparently came because of a wreck in suburban Atlanta a few weeks ago, which injured a soldier. But c'mon now - the U.S. Army overseeing airport shuttle buses?! This is one part of the Patriot Act the librarians never mentioned.



Meanwhile, a Fort Benning board heard appeals Tuesday from a couple of businesses on the "Big Eight" list - places in Columbus soldiers are NOT allowed to visit. Perhaps some businesses have made required changes. For instance, replacing the club name "Memory Lane" with "Veterans' Memorial Lane...."



COMING THURSDAY: John Kerry's big day.... Which big local names are quietly in his corner?



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