Thursday, April 24, 2003







Burkard's Blog of Columbus, Georgia


BURKARD'S BLOG



24 APR 03: SPINNING MY WHEELS



The "Tour de Georgia" bicycle race came to Columbus this afternoon. I wasn't sure whether to watch this or not - since they
haven't changed that French-sounding name.



It's not just the Tour de Georgia, of course. It's the "DODGE Tour de Georgia." Yes, a bicycle race is sponsored by a car
company. So why can't Dodge make cars which get gas mileage as good as a bike?



(Which reminds me: I filled my gas tank at Summit on Victory Drive today - and the price is down to $1.32 a gallon! Be sure to thank the woman behind the counter for these lower prices. The boss finally may be listening to her.)



Today's stage of the Tour de Georgia stretched from Macon to Columbus. My Pastor lives in the Macon area and makes this
circuit all the time, but I'm not sure he'd be in support of this bike race. After all, these athletes are pedaling all those miles -- simply for money. Sin!!!!



The Columbus part of the road course rolled past the main Post Office on Milgen Road, as well as the co-sponsor "Tidwell Cancer Treatment Center" on Warm Springs Road. We suppose this is because of Tour de France champion and cancer survivor Lance Armstrong. So why was the finish line at the Civic Center - and not a mile-and-a-half down the road, at Carl Gregory Dodge?



The road course passed within one block of my apartment, but I decided to walk to the RiverCenter to be around more spectators and scenery. On Fifth Street was a crew from Strickland Tree Service, with a big tree chopped into large-sized pieces of the trunk. Now THAT would make things interesting - a surprise obstacle course.



(One of the crew members had a long pole in his hand. I'm not sure what it was really for - but he called it a "spoke catcher.")



The turnout was small around the RiverCenter on Broadway - a couple of dozen spectators, I'd guess. We saw quite a show,
starting with a group of police motorcycles rushing by. This doesn't seem fair to the bicyclists - unless they're like the "rabbit" at a greyhound track.



Then came not one, but TWO long groups of patrol cars - from the city of Columbus and the Georgia State Patrol. We were so impressed by the sight that we didn't realize we'd be helpless if someone picked our pocket.



At last the cyclist came spinning by - and on this day, there was no breakaway leader. The entire pack of bikes passed us in about 20 seconds. It was somewhat like a NASCAR race - only with the pace cars making all the noises.



The team cars followed the bikers, with two or three spare bikes hooked on top. Either they're substitute cycles if something
goes wrong - or I should have stood at the finish line for the post-race giveaway.



An Italian cyclist won today's stage. When you think about it, the Italians ought to win these races all the time - since they're so famous for eating pasta, they're loaded with extra carbs.



One man received the "King of the Mountain" jersey at the finish line - a white shirt with polka dots shaped like peaches. This tour should be thankful Mister Blackwell doesn't live anywhere in Georgia.



One benefit of the Tour de Georgia's stop in Columbus is that Riverfest opened at South Commons Thursday night, one night earlier than usual. This annual street fair promises a "world-class midway." Isn't that phrase an oxymoron -- sort of like a supermarket selling "world-class lard?"



The Tour de Georgia moves on tomorrow, with a stage heading north to Rome. In fact, it will start at Callaway Gardens, not Columbus. Can't these bikers go uphill to Harris County? Wimps....



The Tour de Georgia stop brought back all sorts of memories. One of my first interviews at a Kansas City radio station was with a group of four bikers on a cross-country trip, promoting Indian guru Sri Chinmoy. I kept waiting for the guys to do something weird, like speak in a strange language or pedal with their legs crossed.



One of those cyclists even gave me a small leaflet, with "Four Cycling Songs of Sri Chinmoy." I only recall one of those songs - which started, "Cycling, cycling, cycling," and ended with the singer holding "speed-HIGH!!!!!" for about 16 beats. The only good reason I can imagine for singing this would be to drown out honking cars and trucks behind you on the road.



When I was a boy, I dreamed an event like the Tour de Georgia would develop someday. I had a pretend summer-long circuit set up in my mind -- the "Cycletron" tour across Kansas. I didn't drink diet colas back then, so never thought about having it sponsored by "cyclamates."



(Come to think of it -- did I ever tell anyone about this idea? Is it too late to sue, for stealing an intellectual trademark?)



BLOG UPDATE: The Wal-Mart ALLEGEDLY "Super" Center is in my personal doghouse at the moment. I took a single-use camera there Tuesday, for one-hour film developing. The manager put it in a bag - and now it's disappeared! They should reserve the magic tricks for greeters only.



Apparently my envelope of pictures was taken from a tray on the counter at the one-hour photo stand. I'm not sure who would do this - because I certainly haven't noticed any North Korean secret agents in Columbus and Phenix City, since I declared war on that country. (11 Jan)



(If someone is holding this envelope for ransom - no, I am not dating the good-looking women's basketball coach on a couple of the shots.) (15 Jan)



I called the photo stand this morning to see if someone turned the pictures in - and no one had. But the manager said, "You made me move my pictures off the front counter." Now hold on a minute - I did this? I simply asked for my photos, I didn't steal them.