18 AUG 06: A BETTER IDEA

It's Friday, and that means several things for me. It's the start of the weekend, I'll sleep VERY well tonight - and during the noon hour, there's a new episode of the funniest half-hour on Columbus television. And here's the amazing thing: I'm not laughing at anything on WRBL....

If you think infomercials are all alike, you haven't seen the half-hour ads for Rivertown Ford. Instead of simply standing next to cars and reading lists of features, this dealership has developed a program that's actually entertaining. And I don't recall anyone borrowing one of Phil Carter's loud jackets from Bill Heard Chevrolet.

Rivertown Ford makes its half-hours fun by bringing out a cast of characters to drive and display the cars. They chat a little with Brad The Host, and not merely about what they're driving. Sometimes, they even crack jokes - and so far, they seem to be as clean as the cars are supposed to be.

Brad The Host says the "characters" (his word) are real staff members at Rivertown Ford, which you can meet during the week. But some of them are a little on the strange side....

+ "Arnold Slashin-prices," a young man who puts on fake muscles and impersonates the Governor of California. But his impersonation is so lame that when he says "Yaaaaa!," I think Brad laughs out of sheer disbelief.

+ "Buy-onical," a driver who wears a red cape with a matching mask. The mask looks like it came from an old episode of "Ultra Man."

+ "D-Bo," a man who seems to long for "old school" cars. He actually was amazed a couple of weeks ago, when he drove a car with power mirrors.

+ "Too-Low," the man Brad always introduces as driving a car priced "way TOO LOOO-OOW!" Someone has to move out the Pintos, I suppose....

+ "King Crusher," a big guy who wears a gorilla mask and arms. I assume he now has to live 1,000 feet away from school bus stops.

(By the way, with a name like "King Crusher," is his real goal to drive cars with a lower price than King Ford?)

These Rivertown Ford characters and others tell a quick story of their cars - but oh yes, I almost forgot: if the car doesn't interest you, there's a dancing turkey mascot in the background. I've never seen the turkey drive. I've seen a few drivers in Columbus who act like turkeys, but not that....

"Put it on sale, Mike," Brad The Host says -- and then it's time for the not-so-hard, rather entertaining sell. Mike usually quotes two prices which the crowd behind the camera turns down. Don't you wish all negotiations at a car lot went this easily?

"One time!," Mike often says before writing the sale price on the windshield. And even then, it's a funny moment - because Mike says the price in a very sing-songy manner. For example: "TEN-thousand NINE-hundred EIGHTY dollars!" It's almost easier to imitate Mike than Arnold Slashin-prices.

If that's not enough, the Rivertown Ford cast sometimes takes field trips away from Whittlesey Boulevard. One week it was "Mission: Possible," which included a helicopter landing. Why Mike didn't come out and mark down the price of the helicopter, I didn't quite understand....

It amazes me that anyone would dislike a half-hour like this - yet Brad The Host said during the infomercial a couple of weeks ago that some folks criticize Rivertown Ford for acting crazy on TV. I think those critics really wish WXTX would bring back the "Family Feud" hour at 12:00 noon.

Am I the only one who's getting hooked on these Rivertown Ford infomercials? I'd imagine they could gain a cult following, especially if they appear late at night. And who knows - in a couple of weeks, Hook from the Columbus Catfish might start dancing with the turkey.

(Disclaimer: I have NOT even approached Rivertown Ford about buying a car, or having them advertise on this blog. And I have NEVER driven a Ford, outside an occasional rental car. But hey, "One Columbus" should apply to makes of cars as well....)

LOOK OUT BELOW FOR MORE....

Only six days left before the premiere of Power Frisbee of Georgia! Our opening night is in Augusta, with matches coming to Columbus this fall. Check the schedule and learn more about our new game at the official Power Frisbee web site; then offer your comments at the P.F.G. blog.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Look up the word "scattershot" in Wikipedia, and you might find this message:

rb--Please, unless your streak of humor or satire is perfectly obvious, do not continue to make comments about North Columbus being so rich. I am referring to those comments about the Little League team from North Columbus, and their parents foregoing a shopping trip or two to Columbus Park Crossing to finance the trip to Williamsport. That kind of stuff serves as just another divisor of Columbus, which we certainly don't need at this time. See below.

There are those who want to appease the Kenneth Walker family with $1 million or some other large amount. They should realize that just paying out to the Walker family will not keep the Black Racists down. We will continue to hear blame heaped upon Deputy Glisson, the Sheriff's Department, the City, White population in general, etc.

We will continue to hear from professional racist Kaffie Sledge, who hardly ever saw a story she couldn't inject race into.

It will never end.

Councilor Wayne Anthony seems to want to be a peacemaker. He sounds like more of an appeaser who is playing well into the hands of the Racists and Politicians.

It might be interesting to know how Kenneth Walker's life insurance policies have been settled. That however is a personal matter within the Walker family.

That some Council members are proposing to pay out $1 million or more in public funds, or to channel private funds to the Walker family, is an entirely different matter. A public matter. As the result of what was an accident, are we going to reward indulging in a cocaine habit and making visits to a housing unit under surveillance for drug activity? If he were a White cocaine user, the clamor would not be here.

Who might the private donor be? Maybe he ought to consider the kind of example that would be set.

Bob Poydasheff's attitude toward many people who bring problems to the City and Council is rude, condescending and worse. He has reached his level of Incompetence. He has proven the Peter Principle. Slapping backs won't work.

On top of all, Bob Poydasheff appears to be ready to play the race card in the Mayor's Race. Some of Georgia's past racist politicians, (see the history of Populism) chose to divide its citizens. He seems to be choosing to divide Columbus in a similar fashion.

Is this something he learned at The Citadel, in Service, in law school, in law practice, or as a trust officer? I think not. Bob must be in training to be a Racist Politician. He needs to have his butt kicked good, and truck his rude a*s back where he came from.

And then Columbus can move along with getting along better with each other.

OK, I'll tone it down about the Northern All-Stars. But keep something in mind: they play on the north side. The Columbus Catfish play on the south side. Coincidence?

(Not to mention that Northern received more money in donations in five days than the Catfish might be making on its entire current home stand....)

Who might these "Black Racists" be - civil rights groups? They certainly wouldn't call themselves racists, but supporters of justice. And we all know money can't buy justice - it only buys attorneys very nice suits.

Kaffie Sledge's column in Thursday's Ledger-Enquirer dared to declare David Glisson is NOT a victim in the Kenneth Walker case. But doesn't this cause a psychological paradox? If someone tells me in the newspaper I'm not a victim, I may feel like I've been victimized by the writer.

We should remember Wayne Anthony's background is in ministry, so attempting to be a "peacemaker" is something a Christian minister is expected to do. He could have gone to Lebanon and tried to negotiate with Hezbollah - but not even Jesse Jackson did that this summer.

If we're going to pry out noses into the Walker family life insurance policy (and I'm not sure why we should), what about David Glisson's private payoffs? Was he on the Muscogee County Sheriff's Department long enough to receive some sort of pension? Why hasn't he sued his accusers for slander? That seemed to work for Richard Jewell a few years ago....

And how would a city settlement qualify as a reward for "indulging in a cocaine habit?" Does a trace of cocaine in someone's system equal a habit? And by extension, should James Brown have been barred from giving any more concerts after he left prison?

I'm not sure where this writer finds evidence that Mayor Poydahseff plans to "play the race card" in the campaign. A variety of ethnic communities were represented at his kickoff event last week, and he noted all of them. So far, the Poydasheff campaign has not released a count of which groups attended Jim Wetherington's party.

Now that we've all made wonderful strides toward togetherness in Columbus, let's check some Thursday news:

+ A source I tend to trust says the Wild Fish restaurant near Peachtree Mall has closed. The updated score from Gentian Boulevard: three kills for Applebee's. First Rio Bravo, then Chevy's....

+ Columbus State University opened its fall semester, but the new "Downtown Arts Campus" was not ready and apparently will not open until October. So if you see young people wandering around Broadway for the next six weeks, remember: it's simply an addiction to Fountain City Coffee.

+ Georgia Republicans accused gubernatorial candidate Mark Taylor of taking illegal campaign contributions. He apparently received eight donations from separate Carl Gregory dealerships. Don't you wonder if they were delivered in one of those Waggoners trucks?

+ Georgia Democrats called for an investigation of Governor Sonny Perdue, because he paid two million dollars to buy land near Florida's Walt Disney World. Some governors can't find a way to run for a third term - but Sonny did.

+ Americus pastor Matt Stewart said his dog Winn-Dixie started barking the other day, and alerted the family to a house fire. Yes, they were saved "because of Winn-Dixie." Cases like this may inspire Harvey's and Publix to have animal adoption weekends.

+ A Rabun County, Georgia Sheriff's Office employee received a pardon from President Bush, for dealing in moonshine in the early 1960's. Maybe the President reasoned it was OK for HIM to drink it back then....

+ Instant Message to Skipper's Seafood on Buena Vista Road: What do you mean, you're "closed for renovation?" You can't possibly be! Your building hasn't been bulldozed, like the Taco Bell on Airport Thruway.

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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for 17 AUG 06: TO TELL THE TRUTH

Well, that didn't take long! The Northern Little League President announced Wednesday the $45,000 goal already has been reached, to send family members to the World Series in Pennsylvania. Now will someone please tell us how much money has been raised by "The Kenny Walker Fund" - so we can see where Columbus's priorities really are?

The front page of Wednesday's Ledger-Enquirer seemed to essentially confirm the story WRCG broke last week - that Columbus Council has discussed in closed-door meetings about paying a settlement to Kenneth Walker's family. Of course, members probably discuss a lot of things behind closed doors. But bets on Auburn-Georgia football games never make the news....

The part of the original WRCG story about a settlement vote this week turned out to be wrong. But the newspaper indicated several closed-door talks have occurred about it. It sounds like an idea from a Fort Worth, Texas suburb - "White Settlement."

Richard Hyatt of the Ledger-Enquirer cited four Columbus Councilors, who spoke "on condition of anonymity" about the Kenneth Walker case. We'd like to thank the new Iraq, for setting the example of having anonymous political candidates in election years.

WRBL persuaded Councilor Wayne Anthony to appear on camera Wednesday. He didn't say much about the discussions, but said the city needs "some closure" in the Kenneth Walker case. It sounds like the Council already did - by closing the doors for the talks.

When your blog visited WRCG to appear on "TalkLine" last week, we were told some Columbus Council members support a settlement payment while some are against it. The people opposed apparently like to see Kenneth Walker's mother show up at meetings every few weeks.

But what about the mayor in all this discussion? You'll recall last week, Bob Poydasheff he told me talk of a settlement vote in the Kenneth Walker case was
"nonsense" and "utterly premature." [11 Aug] Was he lying to me - or did the Council close the meeting doors to keep him out?

Mayor Poydasheff said last week there's a litigation process underway in the Kenneth Walker case - and WRBL's report Wednesday night indicated any settlement vote would come after a ruling by Federal Judge Clay Land. But maybe we're all being tricked here, and that's a lie of the Land....

If Mayor Poydasheff misled the mass media (WRCG and myself) about the Kenneth Walker settlement talk, that doesn't look good in an election year. Jim Wetherington might challenge him to show all 7,000 local workers who supposedly gained new jobs in the last four years.

LOOK OUT BELOW FOR MORE....

Only one week to go before the premiere of Power Frisbee of Georgia! Our opening night is in Augusta, with matches coming to Columbus this fall. Check the schedule and learn more about our new game at the official Power Frisbee web site; then offer your comments at the P.F.G. blog.

E-MAIL UPDATE: "Bob's new job" happened to be the title of a message which reached us Wednesday:

Hey Bob,

The Piggly Wiggly on River road has a sign in the window...they are taking applications for bag boys.

Now hold on here! Mayor Poydasheff's term runs until the end of the year - and I had to bag my own groceries at that Piggly Wiggly last week.

No, I'm not kidding! There was only one bagger in sight last Friday afternoon at the "Pig on the River." I had to bag my groceries myself - and they didn't even give me a choice of paper or plastic.

(But let's look on the bright side - so far, there's no indication Piggly Wiggly is giving bagging jobs to illegal immigrants.)

We had a busy e-mail day Wednesday, as we also heard more about Columbus High School's baseball coach:

I wonder if Bobby called in sick for Friday...or if he got professional leave to recruit in Florida?

Well, wait a second - I'm assuming that "Bobby" is Bobby Howard. The writer could have seen Mayor Poydasheff at the regionals, shaking hands with the Little League players' parents.

But if this IS referring to Bobby Howard, then maybe he went to the Little League regionals to learn something about baseball. After all, Columbus High DID lose in the state finals.

Our last e-mail relates to Wednesday's Instant Message about a strange new TV commercial:

Funny comment about the Bi-city Decor spot... hopefully that wasn't their intent... because it didn't work with this guy. Haha.

Take Care,

BS

To be honest, I didn't see the ad with the naked man on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." I only watch the Bravo cable channel for wholesome quality family programs - you know, like "Celebrity Poker Showdown."

The commercial for Bi-City Decor surprised me during the middle of David Letterman's talk show the other night. At least a black box covers the "secret parts" of a man -- although you'd think a home decor store would cover the spot with bright wallpaper or something.

We thank you all for reading and writing -- and now let's check other Wednesday headlines:

+ A new Census Bureau report reinforced the trend that Columbus has no majority ethnic community. As of last year, we were 47% "European-American", 45.6% African-American and 4% Hispanic - but we're not completely sure if that last group is American, Mexican, Peruvian....

+ Muscogee County School Board member Joseph Roberson probably stunned some people, by telling WRBL he's against Bible courses in public schools. Last time I checked, Roberson was still a church pastor - but maybe he's being persuaded by all those letters to the editor in the Ledger-Enquirer.

(Joseph Roberson explained courses such as "The Bible as Literature" in public schools might wind up promoting "secular humanism." So where is the campaign to promote SPIRITUAL humanism? Are we waiting for the "intelligent design" debate to get settled first?)

+ Former Georgia schoolteacher John Carr was arrested in Thailand, in the killing of JonBenet Ramsey. Well, what do you know - maybe it's safe to read the Ramsey parents' book after all, without thinking it's a work of propaganda.

+ Officials at Summit Hospital announced the new Phenix City medical center officially will open by Monday. We hope the Alabama state inspectors handling the approval process never take jobs as ambulance drivers.

+ Columbus city workers finally fixed the bad light tower at Golden Park, so the Catfish can go back to 7:00 p.m. games. But did you notice one of the workers was a state prison inmate? [True/WTVM] Is it good for him to get practice in handling electric matters? Next thing you know, he might disable a fence.

(Catfish General Manager Ken Clary revealed the team has laid off some staff members in recent days, because attendance has dropped with late-afternoon games. We'll know it's bad when Hook the mascot shows up in the first-base coaches' box.)

+ Instant Message to Rep. Cynthia McKinney: Did I hear you right - that the African-American community has become "comatose" politically? So how did you win so many terms in Congress? How do Sanford Bishop and John Lewis do it? And why didn't the two candidates who defeated you look white at all?

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 7495 (+ 181, 2.5%)

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© 2003-06 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

for 16 AUG 06: THE GOOD, THE OK AND THE UGLY

Today we borrow an old Tuesday night routine from Atlanta sports anchor Chuck Dowdle, and offer a three-part entry relating to Columbus sports teams. I'm tempted to borrow from pro wrestling and call it a "three-way dance" -- but I have trouble even finding someone for a two-way anymore.

THE GOOD local sports team packed up Tuesday for the Little League World Series. The Northern All-Stars are driving to Atlanta, flying to Newark, New Jersey, then driving from there to Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Are that many flights to Scranton-Wilkes Barre or Harrisburg sold out? Penn State's football season doesn't start for weeks.

The departure point for the Northern All-Stars was Morningside Baptist Church. Hopefully the players will think about that, when they see the youngsters from Asia bow down to "the god of Little League" statue outside the center field fence....

It's estimated the trip to the Little League World Series will cost the Northern team $45,000. But then again, can't the players and families afford this expense? They live in North Columbus, after all -- so they can put off a couple of shopping sprees at Columbus Park Crossing, or adjust the rates on their mortgages.

CB&T has set up bank accounts to help the Northern All-Stars pay their way to the Little League World Series. It's also set up accounts over the years for victims and families of local tragedies. If the Little League fund fills up faster, what will the message be -- that Columbus's official vehicle should be a bandwagon?

(All right, you candidates for city office - where are the contributions from your campaigns to the Little League fund? Maybe the players aren't old enough to vote, but their parents are.)

You'll be able to watch all the Northern All-Stars games at the Little League World Series, on one of the Carmike screens at Columbus Park Crossing. Now that's what I call big-screen TV - but won't hhGregg next door have the games in high-definition?

The first game for the Northern All-Stars will be Saturday afternoon, against a team from Staten Island, New York. It will be easy for people with cholesterol problems to root for the Columbus players. Simply wave your anti-Staten medicine....

THE O.K. sports news of Tuesday came from Columbus Council. It approved an agreement for a new indoor football team to play at the Civic Center, replacing the Chattahoochee Valley Vipers. I can't really call it "The Bad" - since that depends on how many people show up for games next February.

Columbus Civic Center General Manager Dale Hester says Zach McDonald will own the new team in the World Indoor Football League - and plans to pay the arena rent for one year up-front. Countless apartment residents must be nervous about this example....

But here's the thing: Zach McDonald actually will own TWO teams in the W.I.F.L. - the Columbus team (will they still be the Vipers?) and the Daytona Beach Thunder. What happens when they play each other? Will league security be increased, to guard against fixing?

As a side issue, the new Columbus indoor football team will have Jason Gibson as head coach - the former coach of the Vipers. This has to feel a bit strange -- to be fired by your team, then watch the team ostensibly be fired by your city.

LOOK OUT BELOW FOR MORE....

As of Wednesday, the countdown stands at eight days to the premiere of Power Frisbee of Georgia. If you missed our Free Frisbee Sunday, learn more about this new game at the official Power Frisbee web site; then offer your comments at the P.F.G. blog.

THE UGLY sports team of the moment is undoubtedly the Columbus Catfish. The team's game with Kannapolis had to be played two hours early Tuesday, because of continuing trouble with the lights at Golden Park. They could have simply made this an afternoon game - but not even Chicago Cubs fans seem charmed by Wrigley Field matinees anymore.

The city apparently is unable to fix a problem with a light tower at Golden Park. That's why only one game of a doubleheader could be played last Saturday, after Friday's game was postponed by wet grounds. When you can't even dry out the field with your lights, you've got big problens....

This marks at least three times in the last ten years that late-season problems of some sort have plagued Golden Park. There was the "standing water in the outfield" mess in the late 1990's - and now lights which don't work. It's almost enough to make you wish there was an indoor baseball league, too.

Overlooked amid all these problems is the fact that the Columbus Catfish owners are anxious to move the team out of town. If the 'Fish swim away, what will Columbus do for pro baseball next year? Will the Golden Park fences be moved in, so the Northern All-Stars can play there -- probably before bigger crowds?

Now that we've cleared the sports desk, let's send some Instant Messages....

+ To the Columbus Police Department: That's a good idea - moving up the crossing guard start time around Georgetown Elementary School to 7:55 a.m. But wasn't the little girl hit in the intersection Tuesday at about 7:50? Is this one of those overtime pay things?

+ To the Columbus woman who sent out e-mail invitations to a friend's "Bridle Shower:" Is your friend getting married - or is her horse expecting?

+ To Columbus State University: Wow - a rally for FIFTH graders, about going to college? And they accuse Bobby Howard of doing early recruiting....

+ To "Aubie" at Auburn University: Congratulations! It must have felt special Tuesday, being inducted in Philadelphia's "Mascot Hall of Fame." So what sort of speech did you give - and was it the first time?

+ To GPB Television: A woman with a British accent begging for money - yeah, that makes sense. To have her standing there with radio DJ Rhubarb Jones discussing the late Marty Robbins - well, maybe not.

(And while we're at it: how could that Marty Robbins hour NOT include "Big Iron on His Hip?" Once again, the left-wing bias at GPB comes through....)

+ To Bi-City Decor in Opelika: Are you kidding me?! I mean, a TV commercial showing a man NAKED?! Are you trying to get "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" viewers?

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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for 15 AUG 06: TIME TO A-C-T

The Columbus Trade Center hosted talks Monday on sharing water between Alabama, Florida and Georgia. Alabama Governor Bob Riley showed up. Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue showed up. But Florida Governor Jeb Bush did NOT - so you can tell which one is NOT running for reelection this fall.

Alabama, Florida and Georgia have been feuding since 1989 over how to share water from two river systems, and six different rivers. You'd think this would be simple. Each state takes two rivers -- or failing that, have "alternate side of the stream" drinking rules.

The water dispute can get bogged down (pun) in shorthand and legal lingo. There's the Alabama-Coosa-Tallapoosa River system, or A-C-T. There's the Apalachicola-Chattahoochee-Flint River system, or A-C-F. And there's "Alabama relishing Georgia headwaters" -- or ARGH.

With Jeb Bush missing, Governors Perdue and Riley couldn't really work on the A-C-F Monday. So they worked on the other river system -- figuring if you can pass the A-C-T test, you've already accomplished something.

The Alabama and Georgia Governors promised to work on a water-sharing agreement for the A-C-T system. All three governors reached an "agreement in principle" for the entire region in Columbus three years ago [22 Jul 03] - but then they forgot to tell the Army Corps of Engineers to buy new measuring sticks for the lakes.

Alabama Governor Bob Riley told reporters when it comes to water-sharing, it's important to "work on what we can get done now." Of course it is - because there's no guarantee he or Sonny Perdue will be in office five months from now.

Governor Bob Riley says only technical details remain, on an agreement to share water from the A-C-T system. If the state officials can't settle this, I like the idea I saw on the local news Monday - with a long rope across a river, and people on either side of a state line having a tug-of-war.

Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue noted there are times when Georgia lakes are important for the flow of Alabama rivers. One example is Carters Lake northwest of Atlanta - a lake I've never quite understood, because you never hear about Jimmy Carter fishing there.

But Sonny Perdue admitted he was "disappointed" that Florida Governor Jeb Bush chose to stay away from the water talks in Columbus. Maybe if Georgia's Governor used some of that state surplus to start building an Interstate 185 extension toward Tallahassee....

Governor Sonny Perdue said the A-C-F river system debate is very different from the A-C-T. For one thing, Florida argues it needs extra Chattahoochee River water for endangered mussels in the Panhandle. Georgia has challenged that in court - because it endangers the Governor's political muscles.

We hope Columbus did nothing to insult Florida Governor Jeb Bush, to make him stay away Monday. We hope he comes back to Columbus one of these days. And if it will make him feel more comfortable, we'll even go to a store selling Ozarka bottled water from Arkansas for him to drink.

LOOK OUT BELOW FOR MORE....

As of Tuesday, the countdown stands at nine days to the premiere of Power Frisbee of Georgia. If you missed our Free Frisbee Sunday, learn more about this new game at the official Power Frisbee web site; then offer your comments at the P.F.G. blog.

E-MAIL UPDATE: It wasn't the heat in Columbus Monday, it was the humidity. Yet this message reached us, about the Georgia High School Association:

Apparently the GHSA has been practicing their doublespeak. As heard on a local newscast Sunday night, the association is considering placing "heat monitoring devices" on high school sports fields.

Such devices, I believe, are commonly known as "thermometers".

K.S.

For a minute there, this explanation seemed to make sense. But then I remembered something - the cheerleaders along the sides of the high school sports fields. They can create heat for athletes, of a very different nature....

The death of a Rockdale County football player has put pressure on the Georgia High School Association to do something to protect football players during pre-season practice. For some school systems, this is easier than others. When IS Valdosta High putting a rolling roof on its stadium?

We combine schools and athletes in our quick wrap-up of other Monday headlines:

+ Phenix City School Superintendent Larry DiChiara showed WRBL a new system, which allows him to call up any security camera in any school on his computer. Phenix City has this?! Shouldn't Russell County schools have this, too - to watch the teachers?

+ CB&T, Synovus and TSYS announced a combined $15,000 donation, to help the Northern baseball team pay its way to the Little League World Series. Here's what I don't understand: why don't businesses sponsor the teams from the start of the year? My first youth softball team wasn't the North or the Yankees - but "Third District Commissioner Chet Matson." [True!] It seemed so strange, not having a nickname....

(WRBL tracked down 1999 U.S. Little League champion coach Tony Rasmus at Russell County High School. He says he's been scouting all the U.S. teams, and thinks Northern has an excellent opportunity to win. So there, you see - Bobby Howard isn't the one coach scouting right now.)

+ Instant Message to the City of Lanett: Did I hear it right - you paid part of the bill for three new defibrillators by selling hamburgers? Shouldn't they have been turkey burgers with less cholesterol, so the need for those defibrillators goes down?

SONG OF THE DAY: With a Middle East cease-fire seemingly secured, it appears safe to bring out a song we first developed about Lebanon in the 1980's -- something a militia member might sing to "The Happy Wanderer":

I love to ride the mountain roads, south of the Beirut track.

And as I go, I love to throw

A hostage in the back.

Hez-bol-lee! Hezbollah!

Hez-bol-lee - Hezbollah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Hez-bol-lee! Hezbollah!

A hostage in the back!

COMING SOON: An e-mailer who's fed up with Columbus home builders....

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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© 2003-06 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

for 14 AUG 06: IN THE CROSSFIRE

She drinks vanilla nutrition snakes. He chomps on chewing gum, and she sometimes scolds him for it. Together, they host what I'm told is now the highest-rated local talk show on Columbus radio. It may be time for Mike Gaymon on WDAK's "Viewpoint" to add a female sidekick.

If you weren't listening to WRCG-AM Friday morning, I spent half-an-hour with Antonio Carter and Robbie Watson on "TalkLine." My main reason for being there was to promote Power Frisbee's "Free Frisbee Sunday" (and we thank those of you who showed up). But as Watson said at one point, "I don't do sports. I do political talk radio." Her conversion from TV truly is complete.

The guests on TalkLine sit between the hosts in their small studio, which is probably no bigger than some people's bedrooms. But here's the strange thing -- from where I sat, Robbie Watson was to my left and Antonio Carter to my right. Very strange....

Robbie Watson and I have been co-workers and buddies since I first moved to Columbus nine years ago. But this was my first time meeting Antonio Carter - and you may be surprised to learn he did NOT accuse me of racism on the spot, or ask for a donation to the National Action Network.

Robbie Watson sits on the side of the control panel with an Internet computer, so she can call up everything from this blog to breaking news. On the other side, Antonio Carter had room to spread out the Ledger-Enquirer - and if a call became too boring, he could stick chewing gum in his mouth and read the comics.

But on Friday morning, Antonio Carter found something surprising on the comics pages. One of the advice columnists had a letter from "Fred and Ginger in Columbus, Georgia" - a couple whose dancing skills are putting their friends to shame. Maybe it's time to dump the "Fox 54's Idol"contest, so we can see this.

"The blogger is in the house," Robbie Watson warned TalkLine listeners just before the 8:00 a.m. news. As if I'm the only one in town?! Well, then again, I don't want to risk losing readers and having to cut my advertising rates....

"You are the talk of the town," Robbie Watson told me during a break before my appearance on TalkLine. The hosts apparently think I'm getting noticed in public because of this blog. Not if I pay cash for items at the store, I don't....

But Robbie Watson was pumped by the notion that her show is becoming the "talk of the town" again. Watson was shown the latest radio ratings last week, and she claims they show between 7:00 a.m. and 10:00 a.m., "we kick WDAK's b**t." Scott Miller might need to make the "guess the birthday age" game a little more exciting.

We're waiting for the spring radio ratings to be posted online to confirm this. But while TalkLine reportedly is making a comeback, Robbie Watson claims Doug Kellett's new show flopped against WDAK's Rush Limbaugh. There's a clear and obvious reason for this - people are listening to Limbaugh to hear how drugged-out he really sounds.

At 8:06 a.m. or so, the TalkLine segment with your blogger began -- and Antonio Carter came up with the perfect way to tie Power Frisbee together with political talk radio. "Get Bob Poydasheff and Jim Wetherington together on the field," he suggested. Now THAT'S a good idea, only nine days before the election! Besides, it might launch a Power Frisbee seniors' tour.

To be honest, the hosts of TalkLine were the most skeptical people I've met so far to the concept of Power Frisbee -- especially in Columbus. "People don't want to pay to see sports in Columbus," they reminded me. Imagine if the Northern Little League team charged admission - they might draw worse than the Catfish.

After explaining how Power Frisbee worked (and Antonio Carter is sure Robbie Watson would have the stronger arm), it was time to "dish the dirt," as Watson put it. And I thought the song "Red Dirt Road" only applied to Kissin' 99.3 inside the Archway Broadcasting building....

I gave the hosts and TalkLine audience a thorough briefing on Mayor Bob Poydasheff's campaign kickoff rally the evening before [11 Aug]. They were as puzzled as I was about the mayor's reference to a vote on "November the 19^th" - but I'd been thinking about it overnight. "Isn't that S.O.A. Watch Sunday?" I speculated.

The hosts of TalkLine asked a couple of good, unexpected questions - such as whether I'd posted anything here that I regretted later. Yes, there are a couple of things - and if Jose Ricci ever surfaces from hiding for his federal trial, I may apologize to him in person.

Yes, I was willing to take telephone questions of the TalkLine audience. This is where it's good to pay off your credit card bills on time every month....

But the only caller during the half-hour was local political watcher and TalkLine regular Burt Coker. He's talking about going to the Government Center today, and filing to be a write-in candidate for mayor. "I'm the problem solver," Coker told me - to which I tried to remind him WRBL already had taken that title.

I was stunned that my half-hour of TalkLine went by without a break, and commercial-free. But then again, I suppose I was presenting a commercial of sorts, wasn't I?

Perhaps Antonio Carter and Robbie Watson will invite me back on TalkLine someday. And perhaps other area bloggers now will be willing to come out of seclusion, and appear on this show. If the hosts stump you, that's OK - sometimes the radio callers go off on such wild tangents that the hosts are stumped themselves.

BLOG UPDATE: We learned more Sunday about the summer furloughs at the Georgia Department of Revenue. It turns out the layoffs involve temporary personnel only -- and the mail room staff is away for two weeks, not only one. It's simply too easy for full-time tax analysts to receive e-mailed love letters.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Aren't we all thrilled for the Columbus Northern team, heading for the Little League World Series? Well, I suppose so - but....

Just watched the Northern All Stars win the next level of playoff and heading to the Little League World Series...Each time a batter came up the camera would show the parent's in the stand..I thought that was cool...UNTIL...I realized that sitting next to Jimmy and Beth Lester was Bobby Howard of CHS baseball...Josh Lester hit a homerun and is a strong defensive player..THe the pitcher for Nothern had an amazing 80mph fastball...I thought Charlie Flowers said there would not be any more recruting,right?

Now, now - maybe Bobby Howard was watching the Florida team for potential talent. "Northern" means Northside High, right?!

The fact that Columbus High's Bobby Howard could go to the Little League regionals after the start of the school year shows one big difference between this area and where I went to high school. My old school's baseball coaches were busy teaching at other times of year. Howard apparently doesn't have a Directed Reading program to oversee.

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: We'll have early post times for a couple more nights this week, at around 9:00 p.m. ET. This should end around Thursday.)

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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13 AUG 06: A LITTLE LESS TAXING

"I was laid off this past week," a man told me at church this weekend. If the man worked at Char-Broil, it would be easy for everyone to show compassion. But he works with the state of Georgia - so Republicans under their breath might call it a victory....

BLOG EXCLUSIVE: Your blog has learned the Georgia Department of Revenue quietly laid off some employees this past week. It was a one-week furlough - and it wasn't even timed right, starting the Monday after the sales tax holiday ended.

It's not yet clear exactly how many full-time employees were laid off from the Georgia Department of Revenue. But I'm told the layoffs occurred because of a lack of work in Atlanta -- and perhaps because of the sales tax holiday. Don't you wish now you had bought something other than clothes and notebooks at those sales?

It's a bit hard to imagine the state revenue department having too little work for its employees to do. Isn't tax money of some sort going to Atlanta throughout the year? Aren't the lazy people who didn't file returns in April supposed to mail in extended returns this week?

One revenue employee who was laid off this past week told me with many companies, withholding taxes begin on the 15^th of the month. So I guess on the 13^th, they withhold the withholding - or they simply put a hold on it....

But the news of one-week layoffs is a bit surprising, considering the Georgia Department of Revenue just announced strong tax receipts for July at $1.24 billion, up $150 million from a year ago. Maybe a lot of drivers took Independence Day trips, looked at their gas receipts and parked their cars for the rest of the month.

I didn't ask the man what he did with his unscheduled and unpaid vacation. If I had known it was coming, he certainly could have helped me with my business budgeting....

My mother's last job before she died was with the Internal Revenue Service. Sometimes the work was seasonal, but she wound up working full-time - and encountering all sorts of interesting things. She lost track of how many people wrote checks to the INFERNAL Revenue.

Because federal tax returns are private matters, my mother didn't talk much about them. But she admitted to me once she reviewed the return of former Chicago Mayor Richard Daley. I have no way of knowing how many political payoffs were listed on Schedule A under "charitable contributions."

LOOK OUT BELOW FOR MORE....

It's "Free Frisbee Sunday" in LaGrange and Columbus! We'll be at Grainger Park at 1:30 p.m. and Rigdon Park at 5:30 p.m., showing and telling all about Power Frisbee of Georgia. Please come visit -- and learn more about this new game at the official Power Frisbee web site; then offer your comments at the P.F.G. blog.

E-MAIL UPDATE: If the Mayor of Columbus says it, it must be so....

Mr Burkard,

I am indeed very fond of you, your blog, and moreover, you're writing style. The Blog of Columbus is most likely the funniest, non-biased, and satirical piece of literature about our community. I must admit sometimes I would like to see nicer things about my grandfather and we did work very hard to have a good party. After I read that someone had invited you but left no date, I urged to formally invite you and I'm glad you came. I hope you enjoyed it and I'm sorry I missed you. I would someday like to put a face to the blog. Thanks again for coming!

Always,

Bob Poydasheff's Grandson

PS...Even though you're tough to read, for some reason I don't think you're pulling for us based on your last entry. That's ok; there is still three months to change your mind if the former is indeed true ;)

Thanks for the nice words - and my apologies for being "tough to read." I'll try to write with shorter sentences from now on.

Sometimes it's better for a blogger like me to be "incognito" at an event like Mayor Bob Poydasheff's kickoff party. But the non-biased "journalist" part of me stayed in control Thursday night - and I refused to take any free soda and sandwiches, which might sway my opinion.

Regular blog readers know we DO try to be non-biased when it comes to elections -- so I can't really say I'm pulling for either candidate in the mayor's race. If someone called for a one-cent per-post tax on bloggers, that could change....

By the way, someone told me Mayor Poydasheff made the campaign rounds at a new coffee shop on First Avenue the other day - and shook the hand of at least one construction worker who lives in Phenix City. This worker did NOT seem moved enough to move across the river.

Now for other winners and losers from the weekend:

+ I thought sure I'd meet my sixth beggar of the year, when I filled up for gas at a downtown Spectrum. One man went to three car windows in about 15 seconds, seeking something. But he never walked toward me - so maybe someone told him how to walk over to the House of Mercy.

+ The Northern Little League team shut out Dunedin, Florida 5-0, to advance to the Little League World Series. The team bus returned to Columbus Saturday night, so their suitcases can be filled with homework for the next two weeks.

(A big crowd attended the welcome-home party for the Little League team at Psalmond Road Park. I assume somewhere in that group was former Phenix City Little League coach Tony Rasmus - taking down phone numbers for future recruiting.)

+ The South Atlantic League Commissioner showed up at Golden Park, and was amazed that the Columbus Catfish could not play a 7:00 p.m. game after an afternoon shower. He said Columbus city officials should do something about the drainage. Some of us have heard that complaint for years -- yet somehow LaGrange's Callaway Stadium had artificial turf added first.

(If that wasn't enough, the second game of a Saturday night doubleheader was called off when some of the lights failed. I jogged by Golden Park, and thought sure there were enough cars in the parking lot to turn on headlights and keep playing.)

+ A group from Selma, Alabama toured homes improved through Columbus NeighborWorks. WRBL reported the group from Selma wants to "rebuild" the city. If the people who gather at that bridge every March would stay over a couple of extra days....

+ Instant Message to the Georgia chapter of the Minuteman Project: About that sign I saw at your Atlanta rally, "Citizenship isn't given, it's earned" - if you were born in the U.S., how did you earn that?

SCHEDULED MONDAY (to be posted Sunday night): My half-hour under intense questioning....

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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for 11 AUG 06: B.P. FUEL

"I ask for your vote on November the 19^th." That's exactly what Columbus Mayor Bob Poydasheff said Thursday evening, as he concluded his campaign headquarters kickoff speech So in one week the incumbent has moved from an online campaign four years in the past, to an election 12 days past what the calendar shows.

The Bob Poydasheff campaign office in The Villages on 13^th was quite full, as the mayor addressed supporters. He said twice all city employees should be treated with respect - but I wondered what sort of reaction the fire marshal might receive if he walked in.

Your blog took up the Poydasheff campaign's invitation to attend the kickoff event - and we found it so busy that a police officer stood in the middle of 13^th Street, directing people from their cars across the road to the rally. So perhaps not every police officer in Columbus is backing Jim Wetherington....

But I digress: Mayor Bob Poydasheff became choked up at the very start of his speech, as he noted people of all backgrounds were attending his rally. "Black, white, Hispanic, Latino...." he told one reporter. Hopefully the last two groups know the difference between them.

Mayor Poydasheff brought back memories for me when he said during the last four years, "I've said what I meant, and I meant what I said." They were admittedly memories of Dr. Seuss and Horton the elephant....

(And what should the next line of the rhyme be? He's said what he meant, and he meant what he said - and he's kept the city budget from going in the red.)

Mayor Poydasheff told supporters he's helped bring 7,000 new jobs to Columbus in the last four years. Yet he noted the local unemployment rate remains around six percent. Wow, I didn't realize THAT many sports teams had gone out of business....

Mayor Poydasheff touted the improvements he's promoted in all parts of Columbus. "Bishop Hardman's church is moving to Columbus South," he noted to applause. So where's the south campus of Cascade Hills Baptist -- or the SOUTH Highland Assembly of God?

Mayor Poydasheff said he's been able to keep the Columbus city budget in balance, without borrowing money as Macon has. Of course, critics would argue the borrowing simply has shifted - and some police officers probably would love to show you their credit card bills.

The theme of Bob Poydasheff's reelection campaign is "leadership through partnership." As he explained in his speech: "I don't care who gets the credit, as long as the job gets done and the community benefits." But here's the funny thing - Poydasheff is the only person with a name on the campaign posters....

Mayor Poydasheff says the biggest challenge Columbus faces in the next four years is the base realignment at Fort Benning, and the thousands of newcomers that could bring. "I am the only candidate that has the knowledge and the contacts," he declared. So if Jim Wetherington wins the election, he'd better not expect to find a Rolodex in the office.

Bob Poydasheff never named Jim Wetherington in his kickoff speech. Instead, he described his opponent as "a voice from the past, apparently intent on running a negative campaign...." At least Wetherington can't accuse the incumbent of living most of the time in Atlanta.

In contrast, Bob Poydasheff says he's seeking reelection to represent ALL people in Columbus. I think that means he's looking for the votes of everyone except the police officers....

The rally in support of Bob Poydasheff might as well have been a mini-political convention. It had a jazz band playing peppy songs, and an invocation with a minister asking God to bless "George our President, Sonny our Governor and Bob our Mayor." This sounded strange - until I realized the Bible doesn't list any of the apostles' last names, either.

There was one big difference with this rally - as it began with a "business session." This is another way you can tell Bob Poydasheff is a Republican. A Democratic candidate might put it all on a piece of paper, and leave stacks on a table.

Bob Poydasheff supporters announced they've raised $100,000 for the campaign -- with $15,000 of that coming in the last week. I'll assume these contributors are the ones who didn't need to take advantage of the back-to-school sales tax holiday.

But for a campaign with $100,000 in the coffers, the Bob Poydasheff headquarters office is indeed narrow. In fact, the bare floor appeared to have pulled-up tiles and was covered with small rugs. Could there be an October surprise in the works, from "Extreme Makeover Home Edition?"

It truly was a diverse group of people gather for the Bob Poydasheff campaign kickoff. Among the familiar faces in the crowd, I spotted....

+ WLGA sports talk show host D.J. Jones -- still waiting for some indoor football team to come to town, and ask him to be head coach.

+ Former school board member Owen Ditchfield, who wore a button proclaiming: "No, I'm not retired." If Joseph Roberson is reading this, be afraid - be very afraid.

+ Car dealer Rob Doll. No, Cissy never stood up and said, "Hi, y'all" even once.

But if any current Columbus Council or Muscogee County School Board members were at the Bob Poydasheff campaign rally, I didn't see them. Does this mean they're all in Jim Wetherington's camp? Or were they all stuck at an airport, holding bottles of water?

Mayor Bob Poydasheff told a reporter he waited until Thursday to open his reelection headquarters because he didn't want voters to be confused, during the primary season. Good for him - there will be plenty of campaign commercials in the coming weeks to do that for us.

This rally was at last my opportunity to shake hands with Mayor Bob Poydasheff and introduce myself. "Oh yes," he said, "my grandson loves you!" Hmmmm - please notice the mayor did not say HE loves me....

LOOK OUT BELOW FOR MORE....

We'll be on WRCG-AM 1420's "TalkLine" Friday morning -- talking among other things about the Power Frisbee "Free Frisbee Sunday" at Grainger Park in LaGrange and Rigdon Park in Columbus! Learn all about this new game right now at the official Power Frisbee of Georgia web site; then offer your comments at the P.F.G. blog.

BLOG CORRECTION: Oops - a couple of you caught a mistake we made in Thursday's post:

Richard,

Carson McCullers was a SHE, not a he. I wonder how many other faithful readers will e-mail you saying the same thing :0)

Thanks for a great blog!

Jennifer M.

Sorry about that, Jennifer. I admit I haven't had time of late to read Carson McCullers' literature or background. Now I guess I'll have to double-check Carson Daly, too.

But before we go do that, let's review other headlines from Thursday:

+ Mayor Poydasheff denied an admitted "rumor" aired on WRCG's "TalkLine" that Columbus Council is about to vote on a payment to the family of Kenneth Walker. He told me the report was "nonsense.... utterly premature." This may explain why Walker's widow and mother were missing from the rally, too.

+ Yet another Russell County teacher was arrested, as middle school coach Sebastian Moore was charged with sexual abuse. The way this is going, students may have to take field trips to get an education -- going to jail to meet their teachers.

+ Auburn University announced the chairs of the sociology and adult education department are being replaced, in the wake of the "Directed Reading" controversy. Isn't this amazing? There was still a part of campus that Interim President Ed Richardson hadn't shaken up yet.

+ Instant Message to WRBL: Am I hearing this right - you've been doing newscasts in the front lobby of the station for a couple of weeks? Why don't you move the set outside, and see if an audience shows up like "The Early Show" has?

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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for 10 AUG 06: PLAYW-RATES

This year marks the 135^th anniversary of the Springer Opera House. While the managers like to focus on its history, much has changed there since 1871. For instance, who knows how many staff members have to explain to newcomers the place is NOT named after Jerry Springer?

One surprising change at the Springer Opera House came to my attention this week, when the promotional pamphlet for the coming season reached my mailbox. The letters "PG" appeared on most of the pages. In Albany this would be understandable - since it has a Procter and Gamble plant.

But really: the "PG" is a rating - as the Springer Opera House now is rating its productions, similar to what the movie industry has done for years. Maybe this is an effort to get more rebellious teenagers out to see the performances....

I'd never seen any theater company put ratings on its plays, before this pamphlet came from the Springer. You certainly don't see it on Broadway in New York -- where the producers probably are happy for anyone who buys one of their expensive tickets.

But I've seen a few cases where warnings are put on performances, about "mature subject matter" which might be offensive. Kathy Griffin's stand-up comedy show at the RiverCenter last spring was an example of that -- but thankfully, Fort Benning hasn't banned soldiers from going there yet.

A check of the pamphlet shows the Springer Opera House will have nine productions this coming season. Four are rated PG-13, four PG, and only one is rated G -- so most of the time, you might want to leave impressionable children home in front of the Internet computer while you're at the theater.

Perhaps the biggest surprise is that the classic musical "The King and I" has a PG rating -- and NOT a G. Maybe the King of Siam actually going to say some something naughty in Siamese....

One of the plays with the most mature PG-13 ratings is "The Member of the Wedding," by Columbus native Carson McCullers. What would McCullers think of a rating like this? Would SHE (corrected) be insulted, and think the Springer Opera House is being too cautious? Or would she consider it another reason to be thankful he moved away?

To be fair, the Springer Opera House is simply following a trend in the entertainment media by putting ratings on its productions. It started with movies, then spread to video games and TV. And some nights when the benches clear for a fight, I wonder if the Columbus Cottonmouths should be rated R.

LOOK OUT BELOW FOR MORE....

Watch WTVM "News Leader 9 Morning" Thursday for details about Power Frisbee, and this weekend's "Free Frisbee Sunday" at Grainger Park in LaGrange and Rigdon Park in Columbus! Learn all about this new game right now at the official Power Frisbee of Georgia web site; then offer your comments at the P.F.G. blog.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Aren't we all happy with how the new Muscogee County school year has started? Well, no....

Richards does not have enough text books...but Dr Phillips makes more than the governor...Richards has part of the school without AC ,other schools opened to the same situation..but Dr Phillips makes more than the governor...you get my drift? Social Studies text book adoption year ,but not for MCSD..order was halted.. When are we going to stop bussing from one end of the county to the other and go back to neighborhood schools. MCSD is no longer under a court order..bill this school year for gas ..only 1 mill+

So let's see if I have your drift. Are you suggesting Governor Sonny Perdue deserves a raise?

If several Muscogee County schools lack air conditioning, at least the district is saving money on electricity. And those spinning floor fans could provide all sorts of lessons - from how an electric motor works, to how to treat a cut finger after it's stuck too close to the blades.

I don't know the details about this e-mailer's textbook complaints. Maybe there was a good reason why the order for social studies books was suspended. After all, the location of the Israel-Lebanon border could change any day now....

As long as the magnet school concept remains popular, I doubt this e-mailer will see an end to busing in Muscogee County schools. If everyone stayed in their neighborhood, I still think Columbus High School would have better baseball teams than Spencer.

Now other short subjects from a busy Wednesday:

+ Which Columbus man is preparing to file a federal civil rights complaint against the city - and he's using one of the "IsOurCitySafe" e-mails as evidence? No, the man's last name is not Poydasheff....

+ Russell County High School JROTC instructor Lee Washington was indicted and arrested on sex-related charges. If the district is trying to top last term's record for faculty arrests, it's probably best to start early.

+ Many Columbus gas stations defied all logic and news predictions, by LOWERING their prices a couple of cents a gallon. The lowest I saw was $2.81 at Dolly Madison on Victory Drive. So why don't they come out and admit this is a 48-hour sale, before the big increase?

+ Final results from the Georgia primary runoff showed Jim Martin defeating Greg Hecht, to become Democratic nominee for Lieutenant Governor. It looks like Hecht will have to take his grand plan for bringing down oil prices to the Alaska legislature.

(Meanwhile, Gary Black was chosen by Republicans as the nominee for Georgia Agriculture Commissioner. This is an interesting campaign strategy - since the drought is turning several crops black right now.)

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue wasted little time starting his fall campaign - with TV commercials on the morning news, the morning after the runoff. His first ad notes the state has a $580 million surplus. Or is that his campaign treasury?

+ First responders in Lee County staged a drill at Jordan-Hare Stadium, in case a disaster and panic occurred at an Auburn University football game. You know, like a loss to Louisiana-Monroe....

+ The Northern Little League team crushed Cottage Hill, Alabama 11-0 at the Southeast Regionals. If Northern wins again on Friday night, it heads to the Little League World Series in Pennsylvania -- and when the players get home, their "how I spent my summer vacation" essays had better be good.

+ Instant Message to the Ledger-Enquirer: Thank you. I mean, thanks for your daily updates in the sports section on the World Series of Poker. Do you plan to put the next world championship chess series in the sports section, too?

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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for 9 AUG 06: WE AREN'T READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL

Columbus's poor "sports town" image resurfaced Tuesday, with news that the Chattahoochee Valley Vipers might be going out of business. The team has lasted all of one season - but so many teams seem to come and go that local sporting goods stores can stay in business.

You may recall we called the President of the American Indoor Football League a few weeks ago [30 Jun - 1 Jul], and he said he knew nothing of reports that the Vipers couldn't pay players and coaches. Now we learn the team has $50,000 in unpaid debts - only they're to everybody else in Columbus.

The evening news reported the Vipers have yet to pay A&H Printing for some team outfits. But even worse, they haven't paid the rent to play at the Columbus Civic Center. There could have been a less expensive place to play a year ago -- but a furniture store had finally moved into the old Phenix City Wal-Mart building.

Columbus City Manager Isaiah Hugley said if the Vipers couldn't pay their bills to play at the Civic Center, the lease agreement might as well be terminated. Am I glad I don't have an insurance policy through his wife....

(Before you search for some sports analogies to show compassion on the Vipers -- remember: baseball has a "mercy rule." Football might have a running clock in the fourth quarter, to end things early.)

The Vipers' financial problems could be traced to the fact that attendance was low this past season. The team simply had too many games on Saturday nights - so it couldn't have any "Thirsty Thursday" promotions.

But I read complaints from some area bloggers before the season even started, about the Vipers not doing much to promote themselves. The team even neglected to tell at least one TV station about its first pre-season game. In 2006, shouldn't free e-mail accounts still be available somewhere?

The Vipers may have prepared for Tuesday's announcement of financial problems by firing head coach Jason Gibson Monday. When the football team has money trouble, it cuts staff - a luxury Columbus Council doesn't seem to have in an election year.

Yet I saw a flyer the Vipers sent out the other day, indicating open dance team auditions are coming up in a couple of weeks. Of course, you don't have to spend much on a dance team - since their skimpy outfits don't require a lot of fabric.

But hope remains that indoor football might survive in Columbus. A new "World Indoor Football League" is forming in seven Southern cities. If that qualifies as the "world," the players might as well be Sons of Confederate Veterans.

The speculation is that the Vipers or a similar team will play in this new league next year. But what will they call the game? "Arena football" is taken already. Indoor football is possible. But they could borrow from the league's initials, and play a year of WIFL-ball.

LOOK OUT BELOW FOR MORE....

Watch WTVM "News Leader 9 Morning" Thursday for details about Power Frisbee, and this weekend's "Free Frisbee Sunday" at Grainger Park in LaGrange and Rigdon Park in Columbus! Learn all about this new game right now at the official Power Frisbee of Georgia web site; then offer your comments at the P.F.G. blog.

BLOG UPDATE: Our invitation to the opening of Bob Poydasheff's election headquarters was clarified Tuesday. The campaign kickoff will be late Thursday afternoon - in a workspace we noticed Tuesday seems small, compared to Jim Wetherington's big house on Wynnton Road. And you thought the Republicans had all the election money.

E-MAIL UPDATE: The online feuding involving the mayor's race is just getting started. This message came Tuesday:

If Jim Wetherington gets elected will he arrest "Bob" for leaving the scene of an accident?

OK, let's all sing along with Streisand: "Memories spark the corners of my mind -- tainted memories of elections, and the way they were...."

I don't know if the statute of limitations has run out, for Bob Poydasheff's car collision downtown four years ago. But with all the police buddies Jim Wetherington has, you'd think he'd appoint a "Veteran Detectives for Truth Committee" right now to get to the bottom of that.

(Keep in mind, Bob Poydasheff hasn't done anything in the last four years to reopen the 1981 Columbus High School arson case. But of course, scoffers would say he's been consistent - and hasn't done anything in other areas....)

We'll have to save one other e-mail for another day - as we must quickly wrap off Georgia Runoff day:

+ The high temperature in Columbus hit 100 degrees F. for the fifth time this summer - and I must admit the heat affected me hard this time. Take my eating schedule, for instance. The first meal of the day went in at 2:45 p.m. -- then came back out in two stages, at 4:45 and 6:15. [True!]

+ Our sympathies to the family and friends of Howard Mott, whose death was announced in Tuesday's Ledger-Enquirer. Mott founded the Valley Rescue Mission - and who knows how many lives were changed in Columbus because of that? Not to mention how many donations of Mott's Applesauce he gained....

+ A report presented to Columbus Council showed construction of the main library on Macon Road actually ended one million dollars UNDER budget. Take that, you critics! It's only a $49 million Taj Mahal....

+ Instant Message to sportscaster Jack Rodgers: Welcome back to WRBL for - what is it, the third or fourth time?! How come you haven't convinced the managers to bring Mitzi Oxford and Brad Means back with you?

SCHEDULED THURSDAY: A runoff wrapup.... for the few of you who apparently care....

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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for 8 AUG 06: THE FROZEN NORTH

The Monday morning rush hour was at a standstill in part of North Columbus -- but it could have been even worse. Imagine if the Northern Little League team wasn't still playing in the regionals....

The traffic jam occurred on the first day of class at the new North Columbus Elementary School. One mother complained there were "ten parking spots for 500 cars." Hopefully this mom will stay away from The Landings shopping center in December.

So many parents came with their children to the first day of North Columbus School that dozens of cars were parked along the side of the road, near Veterans Parkway. As much as North Columbus tries to present itself as modern, this looked like a scene outside a school in rural Russell County.

The Columbus traffic department had warned for weeks this problem was coming. Widening work was done on Veterans Parkway, around nearby Northside High School. Parents actually were asked to carpool students -- and use the space at the back of the SUV for something besides golf clubs and groceries.

The morning traffic jam at North Columbus Elementary lasted around 45 minutes, as parents escorted their children to their new classrooms. But look on the bright side -- many drivers in Atlanta might consider 45 minutes a breeze, and consider moving here.

It's actually nice to see so many parents taking their children to school on opening day. But then again, this is North Columbus Elementary. It's in a part of town where many mothers still can afford to stay at home -- and not wait for welfare checks.

Because North Columbus Elementary School currently has no sidewalks, every child is eligible to ride a school bus. Police hope more youngsters will ride the buses as the school year progresses - and based on the news from the Alaskan oil pipeline Monday, parents may start demanding it as soon as Friday.

By the way, did you see North Columbus Principal Dawn Upshaw on WRBL? From the interview they showed, she appeared to have on something close to a "spaghetti-strap" dress for the opening day of school. You'd think they would have had the air conditioning ready on time....

Elsewhere in Muscogee County, the opening day of school seemed to go quietly. The other big traffic concern was Cherokee Avenue, leading to Columbus High School. As long as no one drove into the canal, we're off to a good start.

Have you checked the lunch menus for Muscogee County schools? They show "manager's choice" every day this week. Someone I know saw that, and asked if they still had leftovers from May.

Harris, Russell and Lee County schools also opened for a new term Monday. As they did, Alabama's Education Department reported Smiths Station Elementary and Primary Schools didn't have enough students taking tests to qualify for "adequate yearly progress." Maybe it's time to do what some Alabama polling places do - and have drawings for TV sets if you show up.

LOOK OUT BELOW FOR MORE....

Watch WTVM "News Leader 9 Morning" this Thursday for details about Power Frisbee, and this weekend's "Free Frisbee Sunday" at Grainger Park in LaGrange and Rigdon Park in Columbus! Learn all about this new game right now at the official Power Frisbee of Georgia web site; then offer your comments at the P.F.G. blog.

E-MAIL UPDATE: We won't talk about the Georgia primary runoff, since Tuesday is voting day. But an e-mailer wants to look ahead 13 weeks -- at what the writer calls "Frank Martin and his puppet":

Given how we have heard Wetherington talk in the past, if he gets elected, I wonder how that man can represent a city like Columbus. "Ole shucks, yall can come to Columbus!" I don't want someone who obviously has never done any public speaking to look like an idiot on not only council meetings, moreover other cities, businesses, or other top elected officials. Bob represents our city well...and we should keep it that way.

Oh and PS...I also don't want Frank Martin's son to be the city attorney either. If the speaking doesn't get you, the fact that Frank Martin supporting Wetherington should. They both are a nasty group of good ole boys. Or as Frank Martin would say, "Neanderthals"

Now, now - if speaking skills are the standard for electing public officials, how does Sanford Bishop keep winning elections for Congress? And how did President Bush win two terms?

This writer seems to be hinting there's some sort of deal already made, for Jim Wetherington to make Frank Martin's son the city attorney if he wins the mayor's race. Well, maybe "hinting" isn't the right word -- it's in-SIN-uating.

I haven't heard about any grand conspiracy between Jim Wetherington and Frank Martin. But if Wetherington becomes mayor, wouldn't the more likely next step be for Martin to run for District Attorney in 2008? Combine that with Sheriff Gene Hodge coming out of retirement, and it would be 1992 in Columbus all over again.

Isn't it interesting that this sort of e-mail about the mayor's race is reaching us in August, instead of closer to Election Day? It looks like the heat wave is affecting people in a variety of ways....

By the way, your blog was invited Monday to the opening of Bob Poydasheff's campaign headquarters on 13^th Street. We received NO such invitation from the Jim Wetherington campaign - but then again, Ed Harbison never returned our phone calls, and look what it earned him.

(Trouble was, the e-mailed invitation to the Bob Poydasheff opening did NOT give a day or time. Perhaps that will be posted on the Poydasheff web site sometime in the next four years....)

The invitation notes Mayor Bob Poydasheff's campaign headquarters is "next door to Loco's." Is this really how you want to present yourself in an election year? Isn't this walking dangerously close to that Bobby Peters sign outside the Boom Boom Room?

Post time P.S.: Hmmmm -- was our Monday post read by someone in the Bob Poydasheff campaign? Amazingly, the 2002 home page was gone Monday night. It now says simply, "Web site coming soon!" Not soon enough, maybe....

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Because of our early post times this week, we'll probably have minimal coverage Wednesday of the primary runoff. But we'll get to it when we can....)

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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for 7 AUG 06: SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW

The Georgia primary runoff is Tuesday - but what's this I'm reading online about another vote in Columbus on August 20? I thought the only places in this country which had Sunday elections were Baptist churches, thinking about firing the pastor.

Believe it or not, an August 20 election date is on the campaign web site of Columbus Mayor Bob Poydasheff. We were stunned to discover Sunday that three months before the mayoral vote, his home page still has details on the LAST election four years ago. Now this is a candidate who doesn't want his campaign to peak too early.

(I've heard that rock song "Trapped in 1985" - but I never considered politicians to be trapped in 2002.)

We checked the Bob Poydasheff web site since it's mentioned on his reelection billboards. Comparing the billboard and web site pictures, it looks like our mayor hasn't aged a bit in four years. Maybe he knew better than Linda Schrenko to spend government money on plastic surgery.

The Bob Poydasheff web site provides a fascinating flashback to issues he considered "hot topics" four years ago:

+ "Our goal is to see to it that Public Safety does NOT come up short...." Perhaps that goal has finally been met - even if it means the Sheriff's Department is short on Captains.

+ "We have lost too many trees...." From what I've been reading in the newspaper, the thieves currently are operating on Schomberg Road -- disguised as construction workers.

+ "I will cooperate.... to see that we have the best quality of education in Columbus." Maybe he should have read some books at the high schools not making adequate yearly progress.

The Bob Poydasheff web site also has his "campaign kick-off speech" from 2002. I don't recall when he gave it that year. Maybe he's already given this year's speech on some radio talk show....

That 2002 Bob Poydasheff campaign speech included quotes from radio preacher Chuck Swindoll, the Biblical book of Romans, Martin Luther King Junior, former mayor J.R. Allen, and even a little Adlai Stevenson. So even then he was trying to promote "One Columbus" - by citing more Democrats than Republicans.

LOOK OUT BELOW FOR MORE....

The next Power Frisbee "Free Frisbee Sunday" will be at Grainger Park in LaGrange, and Rigdon Park in Columbus! Learn all about this new game (and hear our NEW test commercial) at the official Power Frisbee of Georgia web site; then offer your comments at the P.F.G. blog.

In contrast to this, Jim Wetherington's campaign web site is up to date. That's understandable, since the site wasn't set up until April - but I was sort of hoping for a live web-cam of his office, like Roy Barnes did years ago.

Jim Wetherington's number-one theme happens to be the same as Bob Poydasheff's was four years ago. In 2002, Poydasheff promised "positive, effective leadership." Now Wetherington promises "genuine, proven" leadership. Perhaps the "servant leadership" W.C. Bradley once promoted was taken to China with Char-Broil.

So where is the 2006 Jim Wetherington different on hot topics from the 2002 Bob Poydasheff? The Wetherington web site offers some hints:

+ "The morale of public safety members is low. That will change when I take office...." Of course ir will -- and how many months will it take THIS time for the curve to go back down?

+ "I will fight for our citizen's rights to have an adequate amount of water for our use." His page of issues says nothing about trees, so maybe that topic's going down the river.

+ "The Mayor, City Council and School board.... I believe there has been a failure of communication between these bodies in the past." You'd think all these groups would watch CCG-TV once in a while.

There's one other big difference between the two home pages. Bob Poydasheff's web site from 2002 only showed his picture. Jim Wetherington's site has a picture of "his family" - a total of 16 people. Does this mean Wetherington is better at getting out the vote? Or does the presence of his children show "Voter ID" needs to be tougher?

But first things first in this election year - Instant Message to Greg Hecht and Jim Martin: What's the deal? NO commercials in the primary runoff for Lieutenant Governor, after all those ads during the primary? Are Democrats focusing THAT much money on defeating Cynthia McKinney?

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Other commitments will move up our daily post time throughout this week, to around 9:00 p.m. ET.)

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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6 AUG 06: PENNIES SAVED

"So do you think it's OK to say 'Happy Holiday?'" I asked a couple at church Saturday. When you're in a denomination which doesn't keep Halloween, Easter, Christmas and Valentine's Day, you learn to be careful with your words.

"What holiday?" the couple was puzzled for a moment.

"The sales tax holiday," I reminded them. "Or is it wrong, because people are worshiping the Almighty Dollar?"

The wife in this couple admitted she went shopping for tax-free items Thursday, "to beat the crowds." The crowds seemed to show up at stores in both Alabama and Georgia Friday afternoon and Saturday. And with the sales tax holiday ending today, Peachtree Mall may have more tour buses from Florida than ever before.

I also did a little tax-free shopping Thursday, and found Peachtree Mall not very crowded at all. But I went in the early afternoon, when the biggest crowd is likely to be waiting for chalupas at Taco Bell....

Some Peachtree Mall stores seemed desperate to make sales during the sales tax holiday. One man at Foot Locker practically stepped over the threshold into the mall, saying something to a group which walked by in front of me.

"Did you say there's a sale?" At least I stopped to pay the young man some attention.

"There's a 20-percent discount for military personnel," said another Foot Locker employee. The man who made the offer had turned back into the store, so apparently my money wasn't good enough for him.

(I honestly thought the young salesman was trying to persuade the women with the "Benning boys" into the store. Perhaps he's not familiar with post-traumatic stress disorder....)

Since I'm not going back to school and have no children, I was at the mall merely looking for a couple of items to buy tax-free. I wound up spending $2.99 on a pair of khaki-green socks at Eddie Bauer -- and no military men were in that store at all, taking advantage of that.

Did you realize there's a worldwide shortage of maroon/burgundy socks right now? That's the color I've been after for months, and no store at Peachtree Mall seems to have it. In fact, no store in Columbus seems to have it - and I refuse to bleed on a pair of brown socks, to get the same result.

Other people had bigger goals for the sales tax holiday. A group of teachers went shopping with Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue at the Columbus Office Depot, using $100 gift cards provided by the state. How many of them wished the Governor would dip into the millions of dollars in his reelection fund, and buy them a little bit more?

Did you see the front-page headline in Saturday's Ledger-Enquirer about the shopping trip? "TEACHERS APPRECIATE $100." I mean, really now - is there anyone in Columbus who would NOT appreciate $100? Well, other that a top executive with AFLAC....

The four-day sales tax holiday will cost the state of Georgia an estimated ten to 12 million dollars. Yet State Senator Seth Harp told WRBL you shouldn't worry about it, because the state will recoup the money in other areas. You DID notice Friday's six-cent jump in Columbus gas prices, didn't you?

But some families can't afford school supplies, even with sales taxes suspended. For them, Saturday was a time to pick up free "Kits for Kids" with donated supplies from Mission Columbus on Buena Vista Road. Apparently employers don't hand out free pens and pencils at job fairs, the way they once did.

LOOK OUT BELOW FOR MORE....

Power Frisbee will be in metro Atlanta and Macon today for a "Free Frisbee Sunday" -- then Columbus and LaGrange get their turns next Sunday, August 13. Learn all about this new game (and hear our NEW test commercial) at the official Power Frisbee of Georgia web site; then offer your comments at the P.F.G. blog.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now to the "major dilemma" in the Muscogee County Sheriff's Department, which seems to have the Government Center buzzing:

I can't believe that four people are going to claim that because their title was changed they deserve more pay for the same job that they do now. These city employees received a new title so that all of the department heads in Columbus have the same meaning.

The city was stupid to implement this name change at a time like this. And it gripes me that they are not taking on any more job duties or responsiblities but feel that they deserve more money. Noone was really happy to be at 92% of the market but they aren't hunting for a way to get more money. For a promotion to have taken place that would mean that someone will fill the "Captain" positions, but that is not the case. Those positions evaporated basically. We do not need 4 more people doing the same jobs as these new "majors".

I watched all of the council meetings and never once heard about this name change and what came with it. And it seems to have affected 13 other employees that have to be considered.

The city needs to just change the "titles" back to what they were and be done with it.

Thanks!!!

But aren't there other workplaces where a change of title means extra money? I assume that's the difference between an ordinary employee at Subway, and a "Sandwich Artist."

(Some of us are old enough to remember TV crime dramas, where the phrase "the names have been changed" referred to crime victims instead of law officers....)

As for city employees being "at 92 percent of the market," as determined by the University of Georgia pay study - I think other staff members still are "hunting for a way to get more money." At least, I haven't heard of Cascade Hills Church hiring its own security staff.

We'll probably hear more about this topic (especially in light of this e-mail) - but now let's check other weekend headlines:

+ Which Columbus TV reporter admitted she weighs 190 pounds - on the air, during the 6:00 news? So much for those of you who think reporters don't tell the whole story - as well as those of you who think TV reporters are chosen at beauty pageants.

+ Back at church, my pastor preached against the eharmony.com web site, suggesting God does NOT provide mates through online dating services. If you're a Christian woman who met your husband through this site: 1) repent, 2) get an annulment, and 3) call me - because maybe God provides through random phone calls.

+ Port Columbus began a fund-raising campaign to build a Civil War era replica ship along Victory Drive. Is this really a good idea? How many tipsy drivers heading home to Phenix City from dance clubs will panic at the sight of this?

+ A dump truck loaded with several tons of rocks tipped over at Veterans Parkway and Alexander, crushing an SUV. Yet the SUV driver was able to walk away from the wreckage - and hopefully right into a nice endorsement deal with a local body shop.

+ Pop singer B.J. Thomas performed before a good crowd at the Phenix City Amphitheater. I went jogging downtown on the Columbus Riverwalk as he sang "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" and - well, go back to the eharmony joke.

+ The Columbus Northern Little League team began regional play by whipping West Virginia's entry 16-0. The Northerners scored ten runs in the top of the first inning - ending my question about what had happened to all those Atlanta relief pitchers.

+ Instant Message to Alabama bobsledder Vonetta Flowers: Since you're still appearing on McDonald's sacks six months after the Winter Olympics saying, "I'm faster than any woman alive" - have you met Danica Patrick?

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 6507 (- 504, 7.2%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-06 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.