18 JUL 05: FOOT FAULTS

The last few days have been so busy with news and other things, I've failed to mention my visit to "Summerfest" at the Liberty Theater. I went there ten days ago - which means I still might post this before the Columbus Times publishes an article about it.

One big thing has changed since my last trip to Summerfest two years ago. The program was held this year in a side room of the Liberty Theater, and NOT in the main theater. I'm not sure if the main hall was in use for a show, or the organizers didn't get the United Way donation they were expecting for rent.

The side room was full of people and energy. Summerfest promised free food, and there was -- with hot dogs, canned soda and whole mid-sized watermelons. I tend to stay away from that last item. I've heard the warnings about melon-oma....

Several business and agencies had tables set up at Summerfest. The one which intrigued me most offered something I'd never seen before -- a "foot leveler." It sounded perfect for someone overcoming an addiction to ballet.

A Columbus chiropractor offered people the opportunity to step onto the foot leveler. The device supposedly is designed to see if anything is wrong with your feet. Why this isn't offered by Dr. Scholl's, I have no idea....

To step onto the foot leveler, I had to take off my shoes and socks. So it's like a weigh-in -- only doctors and nurses aren't dropping their jaws in disbelief at how obese you are.

"Look straight ahead," said the woman overseeing the foot leveler. With one of my bare feet flat on a panel of glass, she turned on the machine for about 30 or 40 seconds. I had no way of knowing what the device would do. There might have been a hidden camera looking up my shorts.

I then switched feet, so both would have time on the foot leveler. It was placed so I couldn't turn left toward the woman overseeing the machine, or right to check the Summerfest lectern. How can I work on fresh jokes without an audience?

The time came to step down from the foot leveler, and the woman showed me a display on a computer screen. My feet were in a rainbow of colors -- and I didn't even have to visit Shaquille O'Neal's toenail painter.

The colors of my feet on the screen represented their shape. The redder the color, the more parts of my foot were on the glass -- and my left foot was very red. I was halfway to winning a "flat foot" exemption from military service.

"That's why you feel a backache -- say, when you take long walks," the woman explained. She described some of my weekend strolls through the neighborhood perfectly. And all this time, I thought it was because I wore "court shoes" like for racquetball -- shoes so flat, they're perfect for squashing bugs in the kitchen.

The woman from the chiropractic office suggested I can alleviate the back pain by wearing special insoles in my shoes. I have a "store brand" pair in my running shoes -- but I put those in because I tend to wear out the padding already there. It's frustrating, because the "padding" I really want to eliminate is around my stomach.

(I don't have back pain when I run, apparently because I'm on the balls of my feet. So maybe there's another way to solve the flat-left-foot problem -- but I simply cannot imagine myself in Stiletto heels.)

I left Summerfest with a souvenir visor from the chiropractor, but NO appointment made to visit with him. In fact, I wasn't even given a printout of my feet! Keep in mind, my back was turned to the attendant as I stood on the foot leveler - so her real expertise may be in the computer "Paint" accessory.

A visit like this always reminds me of a public speaking club I attended in Atlanta years ago. One night a man talked about "chiropractic" - only he kept mispronouncing it "choir practice!" I thought these doctors worked with your bones, not your voice boxes....

Please stop staring at my feet now, and pay attention to some other weekend notes:

+ The Ledger-Enquirer revealed a second Columbus Police officer was arrested last week. Gregory Diltz was charged with "pointing a gun at another person." That's all we knew as of Sunday night - so is Shooters on Milgen Road about to be shut down?

+ A young man was shot in the leg, in the parking lot of "Club Antifreeze" on Buena Vista Road. I hope this young man makes a full recovery - but at a club named "Antifreeze," emotions aren't supposed to boil over like this.

+ The Columbus Catfish returned from a two-week road trip - only to find their homecoming game at Golden Park was postponed due to an unplayable field. It looks like the grounds crew needs to write one of those "How I Spent My Summer Vacation" essays.

+ Instant Message to Pastor Tony Dickerson of Pinehurst Baptist Church: That was an amazing statistic you mentioned on NBC-38 Sunday - that 86 percent of Columbus residents do NOT go to church. So aren't you jumping the gun a bit, to call your show the "Church Triumphant" telecast?

SONG OF THE DAY: Tiger Woods won the British Open golf title Sunday - and when the key turning point came at the 11^th
hole, I suddenly was reminded of the old Dean Martin tune "That's Amore":

Tiger Woods leads by four. It's becoming a bore,

At The Open!

So he missed a few putts. All the rest are in ruts,

At The Open!

Vijay Singh - did a funny thing. Only a few shots ever went "cha-ching"

At The Open!

And Ol' Phil wasn't on the bill. Finish over par, and you will not thrill

At The Open!

Señor Olazabal could not get putts to fall at The Open,

Colin Mont-gom-er-ie failed to see victory, while at home.

Golf's best-known newlywed now can buy a nice bed - she's a hopin'.

Tiger's ruling the course like a Triple Crown horse

At The Open!!

Your PayPal donations can keep this blog ad-free and independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

17 JUL 05: TO TELL THE TRUTH

"Sir! Sir?!" sad a woman trying to get my attention Friday morning. I was at the dryer at my usual laundromat on South Lumpkin Road, but my back was turned to her as I sorted through my clothes. Dry ones go on the table. Wet ones go back in for another ten minutes. This day was like the weather - and the wet ones were winning.

"Can you help me?" the woman asked as she pointed outside. "My husband needs money for bus fare to get to Phenix City." Trouble was, I only had one quarter left in my pocket to finish the laundry - and my only "clothesline" at home consists of draping clothes over chairs.

"If you can wait about 20 minutes," I said offering a compromise, "when I finish my laundry I can drive you to Phenix City."

"That's OK. Can you give me a quarter, to get something to eat?" I didn't know they allowed food on METRA buses.

This routine was all too familiar for me. "No. You asked for bus fare to Phenix City." But in response, the woman said she really was hungry and wanted something to eat. From her big build, I doubted a few hours of fasting would have been fatal.

I've rehearsed this speech plenty of times thinking about other cases, so now this woman received it. "This is what frustrates me about so many beggars. The first thing they say is a lie, instead of being truthful and honest."

"I'm sorry." Was she sorry she was unethical and a liar - or sorry she slipped up and got caught?

"I'm going back to the first thing you said. You either let me drive you to Phenix City - or you get nothing."

"I'm sorry," the woman said again as she started to back toward the door. "I've been wanting to eat something over there." She pointed north on South Lumpkin - and since she was begging, perhaps Church's Chicken was a big trip.

"How much is this?" the woman then asked as she spotted a vending machine with snacks inside the laundromat. "I have a quarter. I really am hungry." I kept sorting laundry and said nothing - perhaps subconsciously thinking like a National Hockey League team owner.

No one was in the laundromat to a) give me support or b) provide other potential targets, so the woman walked out. "God bless you," she told me.

"Be honest and truthful," I firmly told her again. Come to think of it, I never saw the woman's alleged husband. If he got aboard that bus and left her behind....

Only seconds after the woman walked out, the manager of a dry cleaners next to the laundromat walked in. "Did that woman ask you for money, too?" I asked her.

"No," the manager answered - apparently not having seen the woman I was talking about. "I wouldn't have given her any." Not without a claim check, at least.

"I met a man at McDonald's the other day," the manager continued, "who was asking for money to get something to eat. I said I could go in with him and buy him something - but I said I had no money, so I'd have to write a check. He told me, 'I don't come that cheap, lady.'" But on South Lumpkin Road, isn't that almost required?

This woman wasn't the only one after me for a handout this past week. I received four phone calls in four days from the same telemarketing firm in California. You know it's repetitious when you can recite the offer to the caller, without him even offering it.

Star Communications seems to have a boiler room filled with immigrants from South Asia. They wanted me to try FREE for 14 days a plan providing free passes to movies, sports events and amusement parks. But I don't go to movies, my pastor preaches against amusement parks as dangerous -- and Columbus Catfish tickets aren't that expensive.

In exchange for trying this plan, I was promised $500 in discounts at leading department stores in my area. The callers never named those stores - and gas has become so expensive that a trip merely to Kohl's in Newnan seemed like a risky financial venture.

To try this "free" plan for 14 days, I'd have to pay only $4.95 in shipping and handling. And if this was the business I think it was, it would accept only my checking account number in payment. That's a dangerous thing to provide to strangers - but then again, four days of calls could mean they're actually staying in an office for awhile.

Four times this California boiler room called, including twice in 2 ½ hours on Tuesday morning. "Has anything changed with this offer since 8:15?" I asked the second caller. It hadn't - so apparently the number of movie passes is not affected by stock market trading in New York.

The callers didn't help their cause by speaking rapidly, rather loudly and with a South Asian accent I had trouble understanding. In fact, I told one caller to slow down his pitch -- and it was a bit liking exchanging hurricane-force winds for tropical storm force.

The calls came at 8:15 a.m. and 10:45 a.m. Tuesday, 6:25 p.m. Wednesday and 8:30 a.m. Friday. When I told the fourth caller no, the man seemed shocked. "Tell me, what do you want?" he asked.

"I really want you to stop calling me," I confessed. Having spent a summer working in a calling room during high school, I have a bit of sympathy for telemarketers. But their "freedom of speech" was making the "Do Not Call" list seem awfully tempting.

The fourth caller let me have it, in words I only half-understood. One sentence which came through loud and clear was: "Why are you wasting my time???" He said this, not me -- as if I'm the one calling California at 5:30 a.m. Pacific time.

The exasperated fourth caller finally hung up on me. Perhaps I wasted his time by not turning him down right off the bat, and not throwing a fit like that "down the rathole" man does with his daughter in that funny new Toyota commercial. Politeness isn't always welcomed by some people....

Having saved an estimated $5.20 in all this, let's catch up on other items from the last few days:

+ A Saturday night run revealed parts of the Columbus and Phenix City Riverwalks remain underwater. It's been a week now - and if this continues, AFLAC is going to suggest a synchronized swimming meet be held there.

+ A teenager in the church I attend brought a very creative treat - a cake baked and decorated to look like a goldfish bowl! It's a good thing a couple of the men in my congregation left their bait at home....

(I don't know which magazine gave the teen the idea for this - but the cake had mostly blue frosting, with blue fruit roll-up strips to look like waves. She even put Pepperidge Farm "goldfish" on the side. Sorry, no Columbus Catfish - because we follow Bible rules on eating those things.)

+ Columbus Police officer Philip Matteo was arrested and suspended, accused of writing false prescriptions for drugs such as oxycontin. Oh, for the good old days - when the only "Oxy" people really needed was Oxy-5 for their pimples.

+ Two unnamed Auburn Junior High School teachers resigned, after they were accused of calling up pornographic web sites on school computers. You don't HAVE to teach Spanish by showing your students steamy pictures of Paulina Rubio.

+ The Ledger-Enquirer reported Shaw High School coach Charlie Flowers probably will be named Muscogee County's first Director of Athletics Monday night. Hmmmm - which football coaches in Troup County nominated him for this job? Or was it some parents of Columbus High baseball players?

+ Auburn's Tommy Tuberville received the "Victor Award" as 2004 college football coach of the year. At least we can't accuse those people of rushing to a decision....

+ WRBL's "Restaurant Report Card" revealed Picasso Pizza on Broadway was marked down by health inspectors for having "roaches in the kitchen area." Uh-oh - I thought I asked for black olives....

+ Instant Message to the staff of McDonald's in Ladonia: I hope you enjoyed the surprise concert you had Saturday night. When the man in front of me in line sings sermons in an "African Baptist" style, I simply MUST promote my album -- but I wasn't sure what duets that man knew.

Your PayPal donations can keep this blog ad-free and independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

for 16 JUL 05: LIFE'S LITTLE INSTRUCTION BOOK

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this humorous, serious, or a little of both - but from time to time, we offer things to reflect upon as we keep the seventh-day Sabbath.)

We posted an e-mail from AR on Monday, and promised to bring you one part in particular to consider today. Here's what he wrote us:

And as to the Christian comments, I've learned that arguing with a Christian about theology (with the exception of many Catholics and some Protestants) is like trying to walk through a brickwall. Better yet, it's like shooting myself with a nailgun. There never really is any debate in that situation. It's always "the Bible says this", and "the Bible says that". If you really need a book written over the past 600 years (yes, for those of you who cannot grasp history, the King James Bible was written or compiled/edited in the 1400's) to be the pillar of your faith, then I really do feel sorry for you. Doesn't it say in your wonderful book that the Kingdom of God lives within us all. Maybe all those Nazis and other assorted group of hate mongers just didn't know how to listen to their heart, or let their minds muddy up the Truth. Bit a philosophy there for y'all to chew on.

Thank you for giving us something to chew - but that doesn't mean we necessarily have to swallow it.

Many Christians base their beliefs on the Bible. I would hope their understanding of the Bible is accurate - but sometimes we all can have things in error. It's like the story of the newcomer who heard the Biblical words, "In the beginning...." and thought God invented baseball.

Sometimes people think the Bible says one thing, when it really doesn't. For instance, the phrase "spare the rod and spoil the child" isn't there - but the concept based on that phrase is mentioned in several places. And no, I don't think James Dobson was the one who invented that phrase years ago....

To declare the King James Bible was "written over the past 600 years.... compiled/edited in the 1400's" is inaccurate in a couple of directions. Most historians actually trace the publication of "the KJV" to 1611 - and do you notice how hip they were? They used three-letter shorthand long before anyone called Atlanta "the A-T-L."

Yet the title page of one of my King James Bibles says something I'd never noticed before this came up: "translated out of the original tongues, and with previous translations diligently compared and revised...." This may shock some Christian conservatives, who think the KJV was the first and only one.

The Bible actually has roots from long before 1611 - from "original tongues" such as Hebrew and Greek, as people wrote down the text thousands of years ago. I'll leave it to language experts to decide whether Pentecostal preachers actually speak in those original tongues today.

Does the Bible say, "the Kingdom of God lives within us all?" Books called concordances allow you to find the answer - as they list every verse in the Bible where certain words occur. A co-worker in Oklahoma years ago joked managers were restricting him to only saying words in the Bible. Yet somehow, he kept saying our city of "Enid" a lot....

But anyway, that phrase AR quotes can be found in Luke 17:21 of the KJV: "for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you." But the margin in the middle of the page notes "within" also can be translated as "among." Since Jesus said this, the King of that kingdom was among the crowd - but He wasn't in anybody's body. Science-fiction books weren't written about that yet.

Besides, a little later in Luke 22:18 Jesus said His Kingdom "shall come." So it apparently hadn't arrived yet -- and other New Testament verses indicate it's something believers inherit in the future. From what I read, it may not even be subject to the "death tax."

AR obviously is disappointed that many Christians consider the Bible a "pillar of faith." But maybe he should consider it another way - as a book with instructions for living on earth now, and how to live eternally after that. This may explain why so many women go to church. Guys usually don't like to read and follow instructions.

The religious e-mails don't stop there. Someone else returns to this discussion - which you'll recall started when we mentioned the guilty plea of Adrian Robinson for kidnapping and killing Harris County nun Philomena Fogarty:

Dear Richard;

When I first mentioned that I could find no room for humor in the loss of the Saintly Sister, I had no idea the topic would evolve into apologetics.

Panentheism, whether touted by the ignorant urban intuitives or the landed gentry Whisky-palians, evolved from paganism, and is a form of atheism. The idea that God is in everyone's heart rather than a separate Supreme Being, as presented in the Bible, presents an autonomy from authority that is wholly narcissistic in willfulness. Independence Day, indeed!

The writer purports a relativistic ethic for a new social system, founded upon and fueled by the ˜god" in all hearts. If ˜god" is in all hearts it cannot be the God of Abraham. The GOD of Abraham is a supreme being with eternal life, without beginning or end, who is the creator, not part of the created. Free will allows individuals to act as they choose but an indwelling of a perfect being would surely mitigate the crime and evil in the world.

How does the writer explain the problem of evil?

The sensitive subject of the loss of a woman whose very presence brought love and peace into a room, (to those in whom emotions and spirituality exist), cannot be broached without a discussion of sociopathy. Sociopaths have no conscience. Human Consciences are developed during a maturational window. If children are put into a cruelly violent environment without loving parents, they often will not develop a conscience. They will become sociopathic, and some will become career criminals with a range of criminality from thievery to torture and murder.

Such a social system, as described by the reader, is doomed to failure because it neglects present day sociopathy, as well as many other things outside the discussion of the Saintly Sister's death.. Sociopathy, with its foundation in cruelty and its sometimes exponential effects upon society is the
very opposite of God in hearts....

Panentheism, with its independence from external moral ethics and with its need to make morality an individual choice rather than a societal standard or a Godly commandment attempts to exempt true recognition of anything outside of the narcissistic self.

Deborah Owens

Deborah coins some new words here. The first one you might know better as "pantheism" - but she defines it well. And no, most chefs on the Food Network do NOT worship pans.

(But be careful, Deborah - start talking about topics "evolving" and some people will think you've watered down your faith.)

The other new word (at least for me) is "Whisky-palians." Is she talking about people turning pale, from drinking too much? Or this is a slap at the ordination of Episcopal minister Gene Robinson in New Hampshire?

As for the maturing of human consciences: did you hear the squabbling this week about the divorce of author Terry McMillan? Husband Johnathan Plummer declared 20-year-olds don't know if they're "gay, straight, bisexual, transgender...." Thanks a lot, guy - now teenagers will feel like trying them all, and who knows what diseases they'll spread.

Your PayPal donations can keep this blog ad-free and independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

15 JUL 05: YOU'D BETTER WATCH OUT

Columbus Mayor Bob Poydasheff made a proposal Thursday which may upset some people. He suggested major local companies step up their use of surveillance cameras. This could be the first step toward our city hosting "Big Brother 7."

Mayor Poydasheff is concerned about security, after what happened in London last week. That's why he wants companies such as AFLAC and TSYS to have security cameras around their complexes. I can see one side benefit of this - something to show for a change of pace on the government access channel.

AFLAC has made noticeable security changes in the last couple of years. Metal fencing was put up around the grounds on Wynnton Road. Some entrances were closed. And I wouldn't be surprised if there's a "secure undisclosed location" set up for the duck.

The TSYS main office also seems careful with security. You'll see it if you take a stroll on perhaps the most-ignored area of the Columbus Riverwalk, between 14^th and 18^th Streets. Other than TSYS employees, the only people who might use it are homeless people -- who sleep on the 14^th Street Bridge and eat at the Salvation Army.

I jogged on that portion of the Riverwalk one recent night, and found the west end of the TSYS grounds protected by high hedges and gates requiring numeric codes. The walkway was completely deserted -- and if anyone jumped out to attack me, I might have been better off running to Country's Barbecue.

Mayor Poydasheff apparently is concerned about possible attacks on big Columbus companies. But he said nothing about security cameras at Fort Benning - perhaps because terrorists are too cowardly to take on the infantry to its face. It makes the S.O.A. Watch protesters look brave by comparison.

But are YOU concerned about the increased presence of security cameras in Columbus? Some people consider them an invasion of their privacy - to which I would give a two-word response: Google Maps. Satellites are spying on you already....

Almost two years ago, your blog took a random trip to several Columbus businesses to see how secure they were [23 Jul 03]. We found the Ledger-Enquirer was wide open to anyone who wanted to walk in and cause trouble. But these days, there's a big difference - as "Streetscape" work on Broadway keeps almost everyone away.

Meanwhile, the Phenix Citizen has moved to a new office since our 2003 check. In fact, it changed its name to the "Citizen-News." Those old web pages you find on Google searches will keep any potential terrorist guessing.

BIG PREDICTION UPDATE: Well, what do you know! Some people actually are lobbying to put Roy Moore on the U.S. Supreme Court. I can think of only one person who might be a more controversial choice - and President Bush wouldn't dare nominate Karl Rove.

A group called the "Conservative Caucus" has started a petition drive, backing former Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore for the open U.S. Supreme Court seat. This could be the most unusual way to promote a campaign for Governor that Alabama's ever seen.

The Conservative Caucus argues Roy Moore is the perfect choice for the U.S. Supreme Court, based on what President Bush says he wants in a justice. The President wants what they call a "strict constructionist" - and Mr. Moore would be very strict in how a Ten Commandments monument is built.

The Southern Poverty Law Center in Montgomery dismissed the petition drive Thursday, claiming the campaign for Roy Moore must be "some kind of a joke." This group should watch what it says - or does it want God to send a third hurricane to Alabama within a year?

Let's see what else was stirring Thursday:

+ Part of the Columbus Riverwalk remained underwater downtown, for at least the fifth day in a row. It's too bad the city budget is tight - because it might be fun to swim there, with a lifeguard watching over you.

+ The Columbus Solicitor General hosted a self-defense workshop for women at the Government Center. Fraternal Order of Police President Randy Robertson displayed what women should do if someone grabs them to harm them. Remember, City Manager Hugley -- that could have been you.

+ A convoy of giant plastic cows rolled into Atlanta, as a big-name dairy marks National Ice Cream Month. That convoy goes next to Huntsville, avoiding Columbus - which may prove how powerful Kadie and B.B. really are.

+ Instant Message to a local TV personality whose name I will keep anonymous: You WERE kidding, weren't you? You know, when you guessed the Shirley Caesar performing at the Columbus Civic Center tonight was "the wife of Julius?"

SCHEDULED SATURDAY: More e-mails in the religion debate.... including one which brings up whisky....

Your PayPal donations can keep this blog ad-free and independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

14 JUL 05: PORTA-BULLETIN

Some of you who read us outside Columbus will want to know the "back to school" sales are underway here. In fact, this year it seems everyone actually waited until after Independence Day to start them.

Muscogee County Schools plan several changes for the coming year. The biggest change involves moving several portable classrooms, to areas with growing enrollment. It's too bad none of them are near that empty old Sears store on Macon Road.

Muscogee County school officials expect to use at least six portable classrooms this coming year. Two of them would go to Northside High School, which has reached capacity in only four years. This has to scare Peachtree Mall's managers - seeing more and more teenagers gathering near Columbus Park Crossing.

Three portable classrooms are planned at Midland Middle School, while one would go to Double Churches Middle. We assume that building will be a "Double-wide...."

Deputy Superintendent Robin Pennock assured a reporter Wednesday the planned portable classrooms are "new, clean.... well-kept...." This apparently means they're not being moved from Mockingbird Mobile Home Park.

Robin Pennock says it's better to have students learning in portable classrooms, than in "closets or storage space." After all, we need those closets to provide coaches and teachers office space....

The portable classrooms would be moved from four grade schools: Allen, Muscogee, Wesley Heights and Wynnton. It's nice to see even buildings can be promoted to higher grades....

In Alabama, portable classrooms for students are NOT considered good things. Remember when Don Siegelman ran for Governor in 1998, promising to get rid of them? Then four years later, voters decided they wanted portable governors instead.

But when you think about it, having school in a portable classroom can have hidden advantages - especially at higher grades. Students can exercise by walking outside and getting fresh air during the day. As long as the classrooms aren't placed near the back fence where teenagers like to smoke....

I spent a little time in portable classrooms when I was young. The grade school music teacher had one, which we'd visit for 30 minutes every couple of days. Then the portable went away, and the music teacher was given a rolling cart. Looking back, I think that was downsizing.

BLOG CORRECTION: It had been awhile since we visited the North Columbus Branch Library - and a check there Wednesday found there is NOT one little plaque in the entryway. There are three plaques, on a smaller scale than the three inside the new public library [1 Jul]. Either my memory is bad, or the plaques were a package deal.

Now let's refresh our thinking about other things from an occasionally wet Wednesday:

+ The Ledger-Enquirer reported on a Columbus Council debate over whether to put guardrails along Cherokee Avenue, so cars don't drive into a drainage canal. Isn't there a more obvious answer to this? Build a "canal-walk" - since the only vehicles you see on the Riverwalk are city trucks and police buggies.

+ A stroll through Peachtree Mall revealed a new Dairy Queen will open there soon, combined with an "Orange Julius." At nearby Columbus State University, instructors will have to remind students this was NOT the ruler of ancient Rome.

+ Brookstone High School hosted a four-school, seven-person flag football tournament. Only passing plays are allowed, while rushing is not. So what they're doing outside is a bit like arena-less arena football....

(Is this sort of event legal under Georgia High School Association rules? Fall football practice has a definite start date. Just ask people living near Pacelli High School - where the first practice is at 12:00 midnight on a Sunday night.)

+ Instant Message to the young man who told me he's a "38-year-old in a 21-year-old body": At which Victory Drive nightclub did you pick up that line?

Your PayPal donations can keep this blog ad-free and independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

13 JUL 05: A G.R.E.A.T. SAVE

Columbus Police Chief Rick Boren announced Tuesday -- wait, hold on a second. Is he calling himself Rick these days or Ricky? I hear both names on the evening news. We can assume which name wife Nancy uses for him....

But anyway: Chief Boren announced Tuesday he's figured out a way to continue several crime prevention programs in Columbus. He probably could write a book about how he rescued one of those programs - but I think "DARE to be Different" already is taken.

You may recall there was concern Columbus city budget cuts would bring the end of police drug and gang resistance programs. But Chief Boren did some staff maneuvering to keep both of them going. We'd like to thank Atlanta baseball manager Bobby Cox for inspiring this....

Chief Boren explained at Tuesday's Columbus Council meeting he'll develop a "pool' of police officers, who will rotate into open positions with the anti-drug and anti-gang programs. It was either that, or find the extra money selling that cool-looking DARE car on eBay.

A chart shown by WRBL indicates the anti-drug program DARE will drop from five officers to two. But the Muscogee County School Board talked the other night about providing funding of its own - so we could wind up with Super Double DARE.

The anti-gang program GREAT still will have two officers, but their duties will expand to include time with a police gang task force. I guess that means it will be GREAT-er, instead of lesser....

Chief Boren also reconfigured his staff to save two other crime prevention programs. One of them is called "conditional discharge" - which I thought referred to the rules for when police fired at a suspect.

The other program rescued by Rick(y) Boren is called "juvenile diversion." I fear too many teenagers are involved with this now. You know: they pretend to point to a celebrity standing right behind you - and when you turn around, they take your food or your money.

In another cost-cutting move, Chief Boren announced the Public Safety Center will be closed on weekends beginning this weekend - and will close to the public on weeknights at 7:00 p.m. So if you want to make a citizen's arrest on Friday night, you'll need to lock the suspect in your basement until Monday morning.

The Public Safety Center joins a variety of places in Columbus with earlier closing times. We mentioned Tuesday the Public Library Café is closing at 7:00 p.m. now. And a lot of fast-food places lock their doors at 10:00 p.m. on weekends now -- but sadly, the sports bars close their grills early anyway.

On another issue, Columbus Mayor Bob Poydasheff tried to offer words of assurance to residents Tuesday. He says the city will NOT grab anyone's property under "eminent domain" rules for now. So all of you spelling it "imminent domain" like it might happen tonight can knock it off....

Mayor Poydasheff says an upcoming Columbus Council work session will study the recent U.S. Supreme Court ruling allowing local governments to take over private property for business development. A lot of bloggers are nervous about this - but some people living near Victory Drive wish this session would start sometime today.

Mayor Poydasheff says Columbus might apply eminent domain rules only to "blighted sections" of town with "absentee landlords." This gives me a great idea - I'll demand my landlord come to my door every month to pick up the rent check.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Oh dear - you attempt to mention someone else's blog and what happens? This happens:

Hey Burkard,

While you were slapping me on the backside with the wet towel you used to sop up the remnants of Dennis from your blogsite, you must have splattered your glasses. Go back and read my post again and you will see that I made no suggestion that the newscasters should be forbidden from posting blogs. I clearly said that if they wanted to do so that they should do it on a website dedicated as their personal blog. The problem I have is with Fox News hosting their blogs directly into their news website. "In my view", this muddies the water of reporting the facts.

Of course since I wrote that post I have had my face held into the obvious facts that I at first failed to see. I guess you missed this too or you would have pointed it out as well. To my knowledge, 'most' newspapers contain an editorial page where the editor and other employees of the newspaper can vent their personal views.I stand corrected in 'this' area.

Now can you dry off your glasses and see that I did not say that professional newscasters should stay out of the 'blogosphere' as you put it. I clearly pointed out that Tony Snow, a newscaster for Fox News, has his 'own personal' web space where he posts his comments, and I find that perfectly acceptable because this does not 'muddy the water' of news reporting "in my view".

As for Matt Drudge, I have been reading his website for years, and what I see there is basically a clearing house for headlines from other news sources. While he does 'scoop' some news stories such as the Monica Lewinski story his website remains a collage of other peoples efforts. He is not offering to validate the stories, only present them to us, much along the same lines as a blogger does I suppose.

Otherwise you do a fair job blogging and I read your site often.

Bubba....

Thank you for clarifying, Bubba - and I appreciate the Southern charm with which you do it. It's a lot gentler than some of the other messages we've received here lately.

But I never used the word "forbidden" Tuesday, in describing what Bubba wrote. I even cleaned the water spots off my glasses and checked....

Newscasters offered "comments" on stories within their newscasts long before anyone thought of blogs. Paul Harvey offers "news and comment" to this day on his radio program -- and Wal-Mart seems rather happy with his comments which sound a lot like commercials.

For the record: I have intentionally avoided the Drudge Report for more than a year. It started when he posted Janet Jackson's Super Bowl exposure on his home page with no warning. Then he falsely claimed John Kerry had an affair with an intern. Yet some people still contend he's more trustworthy and reliable than Newsweek magazine.

We have one more e-mail today - and again, if you think I'M the one obsessed with News 3....

Richard,

I noticed Roslyn's name is no longer on WRBL's website. What happened to her?

MM

This refers to longtime reporter and anchor Roslyn Giles - the one who's made news on WRBL simply by giving birth. Certainly they wouldn't fire her for refusing to have a baby during a ratings month....

Don't worry -- I don't think Roslyn Giles was fired at all. People in a position to know told me Tuesday Giles has left television news, and now is selling real estate. Apparently she didn't do any reporting this year on the so-called "housing bubble."

Roslyn Giles is married to a Columbus police officer, so I was a bit concerned when this e-mail came. Did the officer finally move to an Atlanta-area police force, for higher pay? Then again, Giles might find the same thing at Atlanta TV stations. How else could Monica Kaufman afford her changing hairstyles?

Now for other brief bites from a sticky Tuesday:

+ Which big local Internet hosting company lost all its web service to Hurricane Dennis, and had to restore everything manually? What should the managers buy first -- zip-file backup disks for the data, or Thompson's Water Seal for the basement?

+ Scattered flooding remained on the Columbus and Phenix City Riverwalks from Hurricane Dennis. But there's an even larger area under water at Six Flags Over Georgia. You know it's bad when that old man in the commercials is dancing aboard a rowboat.

(NBC-38 is giving away a vacation package to Atlanta, which includes "Six Flags" and "White Water." You'd think those parks would merge - except the Six Flags water is awfully brown right now.)

+ The Russell County Commission met, but did NOT address the latest controversy about Probate Judge Al Howard. He opposes having his office moved, in a dispute over whether it's a political vendetta or a requirement for security reasons. Maybe they should offer him that vacant old building at Dillingham and Broad....

+ Canterbury Manor resident Ruby Crow marked her 100^th birthday. Imagine the changes this woman has seen! When she was born in 1905, there was only one "red state" - and technically Oklahoma was still "Indian Territory."

+ The Talbot County School Board discussed whether to build a new school on a hunting range. Now there's a unique way to promote exercise - have children run inside every time they hear a gunshot.

+ The Alabama Board of Education voted to ban carbonated soft drinks in all grade schools. If you can't drink an R.C. Cola until you're 11 or 12, shouldn't Moon Pies be banned as well -- or at least require proof of age?

+ Brookstone High School tennis player Elizabeth White advanced in the Southern regional 16-year-old tournament at Cooper Creek Park. How White could do this after reporting on a new Lee County helicopter for the evening news is simply amazing....

+ Instant Message to the "Americans for Fair Trade": So according to your radio ad, I should oppose the Central American Free Trade Agreement because "CAFTA rhymes with NAFTA"?! Should I also oppose Columbus Councilor Nathan Suber, because his last name rhymes with goober?

BIG PREDICTION: I dare to predict President Bush will NOT nominate Roy Moore to the U.S. Supreme Court. After all, the former Alabama Chief Justice wasn't nominated for Attorney General a few weeks ago -- succeeding fellow straight-laced Christian John Ashcroft.

Your PayPal donations can keep this blog ad-free and independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

12 JUL 05: BLOGGING WITH THE STARS

On some days, we strain for a local topic to discuss. But on other days, things build quickly like.... well, I was going to say like a hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico, but some of you still may have damage to clean up.

Our Monday item about Hurricane Dennis brought a surprising e-mail:

Funny how great minds think alike. I titled my Sunday blog post "Dennis the Dud" as well. Guess that's what it was, a dud, not that I'm complaining. Hope you have a good week.

This was NOT a case of blog copycatting, because this came from a Columbus blog I never knew about before. New bloggers don't tend to be like new restaurants -- hiring public relations firms, and holding grand opening specials.

The similar title came from "The Kaos Blog," which was started about a month ago by a well-known Columbus personality. I know who it is -- but since the blog author seems to be keeping his/her name anonymous, I won't give it away. But here's a hint: the drawing of an author with blonde hair does NOT mean it's Councilor Skip Henderson.

The top items at The Kaos Blog Monday involved the weather -- including yet another potential tropical storm. Maybe if this person had The Tranquility Blog, we wouldn't have so much to worry about....

The Kaos Blog has pictures showing water damage from Hurricane Dennis to his/her home - and an unusual photo of three guys who went to Lakebottom Park during Sunday's rain with surfboards! Some folks need to be told NOT to take the names of Columbus parks literally.

This blogger apparently moved recently to the Bibb City neighborhood, because scenic shots of that corner of town are included as well. For some reason, the Pop-a-Top Lounge on 32^nd Street was left out....

Shortly after I looked around The Kaos Blog, another e-mail arrived. It was sent to alert me to that blog, as well as another which was new to me:

Chris Sweigart's keeping one too: SwagTV.blogspot.com

This is the Chris Sweigart who's a WRBL reporter. For those of you who think we're obsessed with that station - apparently other people are, and that station can use every viewer it can find.

You may recall the message we received recently from Chris Sweigart, [19 May] after we mentioned one of his TV stories here. In June he started a blog of his own - but "Swag TV" is NOT all about his news stories. It has mostly personal items, including a picture of Sweigart aiming a military weapon. Thankfully, it's not pointed at us....

Chris Sweigart's blog has the title, "That's Life in the 125." This can cause confusion right away. I'm not sure if the 125 refers to the TV market ranking for Columbus, compared with other U.S. cities - or how much Sweigart is paid each week.

(While Chris Sweigart's blog has "125," The Kaos Blog has the numbers 897 prominently displayed. So maybe there's some online contest going on, to pick winning lottery numbers.)

Chris Sweigart offers some interesting inside stories about his work at what he calls "The Warble." I guess this makes him a warbler - but consider this. If Sweigart worked for WLTZ NBC-38, he'd be a waltzer.

Chris Sweigart also focused on hurricanes at the top of his blog Monday. Farther down, he mentions a recent story in East Alabama -- and describes the trip there as "a boring drive." Smiths Station and Ladonia simply can't open nightclubs fast enough....

As I pondered my new blog competition, another amazing coincidence happened. A blogger in Buena Vista posted this: "Newscasters are charged with the sole responsibility of presenting the 'facts' of the news.... let us draw our own conclusions. In other words, leave the blogging to us." After all, pro golfers don't enter Michelle Wie's amateur events.

Bubba in Buena Vista seems most concerned with blogs set up by Fox News Channel journalists, but I suppose it can apply locally as well: "Theirs is a vocation of presentation, it should not be mission oriented." Does this mean bloggers should ramble on and on, not expecting anyone to take them seriously?

I'd like to think there's room in the "blogosphere" for all sorts of journals about all sorts of topics, from all sorts of viewpoints. And remember, professionals in one area of the media do NOT always obliterate amateurs in other areas. If they did, Matt Drudge would have disappeared five years ago.

Before we stop blogging, let's do some Instant Messaging....

+ To Tarren Bruce: Yes, I know you're innocent until proven guilty. But if you really did smack that Columbus Police officer in the face several times with a motorcycle helmet, be thankful he didn't have a Vietnam flashback.

+ To Port Columbus: Did I read it right - your "School of the Sailor" summer camp teaches young people how to handle a cutlass? Aren't they a little young to be driving Oldsmobiles?

+ To Walgreens on Wynnton Road: About your sign which says, "WE ARE NOW TOTALY DIGITAL" - well, maybe you forgot one thing. It's called a SpellCheck.

+ To the Columbus Public Library Café: To say you're moving up your closing time to 7:00 p.m. is one thing. To have your attendant walk out and go home at 6:45 is something else. Oprah Winfrey never would stand for this....

+ To WCGT "Final Edition" host Jerry Laquire: I heard what you said about hurricane reporters on WRCG Monday. May you someday have the privilege of standing on the Gulf Coast amid 130 mile-per-hour winds, driving rain and billions of dollars in damage -- and THEN claim there's "nothing to report."

Your PayPal donations can keep this blog ad-free and independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

11 JUL 05: DENNIS THE DUD?

Why is this blogger smiling? Because thanks to a pair of tropical storms, I haven't needed to turn on my air conditioner three nights in the last six. Sometimes hurricanes can have a silver lining - for my wallet, and not Georgia Power's.

The rain and wind from Hurricane Dennis were strong enough Sunday afternoon to knock out power for thousands of people in the Columbus area. For some guys, it was a bit like the good old days. They listened to the NASCAR race on radio, then snoozed the evening away on the couch.

The lack of electricity was frustrating for some visitors. They fled Florida to escape Dennis, then checked in at motels with no working TV -- so they don't know when it will be safe to go home. How many managers will pay the electric crews to restore their service last?

While motels were filled with evacuees from Florida, several hurricane shelters in our area sat practically empty. At one point Sunday afternoon, only about 20 people were using Auburn University's Beard-Eaves Memorial Coliseum - almost matching the attendance for some non-conference basketball games.

Because of Dennis, several area schools called off classes for today. They include Pinehurst Christian School in Columbus - where you'd think they'd go ahead and meet, if only to pray for protection.

Russell County Schools called off today's scheduled summer graduation exam because of the storm. Yet Phenix City Central plans to go ahead with its exam - giving its students a vital edge in the "I'm smarter than you" debates outside stores.

I was busy working in an office when Hurricane Dennis came ashore Sunday. I'm told the highest wind gust in Columbus was about 50 miles per hour -- so this storm was more polite than most Columbus drivers, and never went above the highway speed
limit.

While the Columbus area was under a tornado watch for hours, no warnings ever were issued. That problem was confined to south Alabama - the only location this side of Fort Benning where it's paying well to be in the construction business.

Did you see what Alabama Governor Bob Riley did to prepare for Hurricane Dennis? He filed a request with President Bush IN ADVANCE to declare two-thirds of the state a disaster area. The President declared Russell County a disaster almost before the power went out.

Given the lack of severe weather and flooding in Columbus, some of my co-workers declared Hurricane Dennis "a dud" Sunday night. They should tell that to the family on Windsor Drive, which saw a tree fall on their home. For that family, it was more like a thud.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Back and forth we go with one of our blog readers. A Sunday message and our reply brought this:

I'm beginning to agree with the Catholic woman. Every point I've tried to make so far has been shot down by the bully pulpit. It's ludicrous. We were taught to believe that when Blogs became successful it would be the last bastion of debate in America, and it hasn't been true at all. It's another form of talk radio. It's always gotta be one vast side battling another smaller side, doesn't it? There's no debate here. There's a small minority who questions and confronts statements made here, then there's the vast majority who agree with everything Burkard says and slams the minority. GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!

Yes, I was here several months ago when the Glisson rally took place. I hate it when smucks try to assume something about me that they always get wrong. Listen to local talk radio?? If i wanted a one-sided debate, I'll just come to this page. And for the record, I've been following the Walker case since I got here a year ago. Remember, never assume. It makes an a** out of u and me.

And obviously my statement about military service was not read in full (go figure). I distinctly remember saying that military service didn't always require being a killing a machine. What about training as a computer specialist, engineer, medic, reporter, chef, etc? The list goes on and on. I've known many people who served in the military and only picked up a rifle during basic....

And now for the backlash from Burkard's bully pulpit..................

AR

First of all, AR, let me apologize to you and everyone else in cyberspace for being a "smuck." I guess it all stems from what I usually eat for breakfast - putting Smuckers jelly on my toast.

(Maybe now I qualify to be on that Thursday night TV show with.... no wait. That's called SMACK-down.)

But I'm confused - blogs are NOT a "bastion of debate"?! I've posted everything AR has sent me so far (although if AR doesn't mind, I'm holding a section of this e-mail about Christianity for next weekend's religious discussion). I've seen blogs which don't even let you comment. And a blog in the denomination I attend deleted one of my comments - so either way I'm a loser.

(Maybe we're using an old-fashioned definition of "debate" here - where I express my view, you express your view, and then you expect me to cave in because you KNOW you know more than I do.)

AR claims with sadness blogs are "one vast side battling another smaller side." But let's be honest: what things in life are NOT like that? That's true in the eminent domain debate, many political campaigns -- and awhile back, a smaller side from Tampa Bay actually won some games over the New York Yankees.

Yes, AR did write military service does not mean "being a killing machine." But I hope he realizes U.S. support personnel such as chefs and engineers are just as much at risk in Iraq. One deadly attack on a Virginia unit's mess hall comes to mind -- and sadly, some terrorists seem willing to make ALL of Iraq a mess.

Your PayPal donations can keep this blog ad-free and independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

10 JUL 05: ANYONE FOR DENNIS?

OK, let's go through the checklist. I have an unopened gallon of bottled water. My pantry is filled with cans of chili, in case the power stays out for weeks. And I have four AA alkaline batteries - which I probably don't need, since no Columbus radio station has presented local news on Sunday in years.

Many people in our area took precautions and checked their inventories Saturday, as Hurricane Dennis moved toward the Gulf Coast. It's expected to come ashore sometime today -- and a few Baptists privately are hoping it strikes Biloxi, to teach those casinos a lesson.

Long lines of people moved north Saturday to get away from Dennis. Several hurricane shelters opened in east Alabama, including Auburn University's Beard-Eaves Coliseum. Please remember, that shelter is especially for families with high school football players....

(Hopefully people who seek shelter at Phenix City's Roy Martin Center will be told at some point exactly who Roy Martin is. In fact, the staff might want to inform the majority of area residents who probably don't know.)

Hundreds of military personnel sought shelter at Fort Benning, fleeing Eglin Air Force Base along the Florida coast. Why don't the air force pilots try breaking up the hurricane with one of those MOAB's - "Mother of All Bombs?" If we're not going to use them defeat terrorists in Iran or North Korea....

But people seeking hurricane shelter in Columbus faced a problem Saturday night. Motels across the city were full because of a Jehovah's Witness convention. Does their version of the Bible have a verse about taking in strangers?

The Columbus Convention and Visitors' Bureau estimated the weekend religious convention would bring $1.6 million to the city. Who knows how much money was lost from being unable to house coastal residents - well, except maybe for camping supply stores with tents to sell.

(Is it fair to say that based on the name of this hurricane, business at Denny's Restaurants is off sharply?)

Reports surfaced of gasoline price gouging along the Florida coast Saturday. But in Columbus, the stations with low gas prices tended to go down a penny to $2.16 a gallon. The managers simply will smile at visitors passing through -- never telling them about the 15-cent spike a couple of days before.

In preparation for Hurricane Dennis, gates were opened to release water from West Point Dam and Lake Oliver. If they're going to do this, I say it should be announced at least six hours in advance - so kayakers can go to the Chattahoochee River and organize races.

The release of water left part of the Columbus Riverwalk flooded Friday - but when I took my Saturday night run, the walkway was dry around South Commons and Rotary Park. You almost wish they weren't, to see if visiting Jehovah's Witnesses have enough faith to walk on water.

(Scattered barricades were in place on the part of the Riverwalk I jogged, even though there was no flooding. Will someone tell these safety officials I'm getting too old to jump high hurdles?)

The Saturday night forecast warned parts of the Columbus area could get six inches or more of rain, as Dennis comes ashore. Flooding could occur in "low-lying areas" - so please move all your children to the top bunks of their beds.

If that's not enough, Columbus could have wind gusts as high as 50 miles per hour from the hurricane. If the Miss Georgia contestants were still in town, all the stores might be out of hairspray by now.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Our Friday exclusive on the "Kenny Walker Fund" brought this reply:

Thank you for telling the other side of the Walker case, that of Glisson. Not once on TV or in the paper, have I read anything coming to his defense, other than a quick mention of the Friends of David Glisson. What happened to Walker was horrible, but it sure.... wasn't pre-meditated, and it wasn't done in malice. It was an accident. And when police have info that the people they're stopping are armed and dangerous, they tend to be safe and go in full gear. Has anyone asked "what were Walker and his friends doing at a known drug dealer's apartment anyway?". Glisson was doing what he was taught to do, and now he's out of a job.

One Columbus my [a**]. If a majority of the black community feels they're not getting a fair shake in life, then maybe they should stay in school until they at least graduate high school, and stay off the streets after midnight. Maybe then they'll have more opportunities in life than sitting on the Stoop at BTW public housing, sipping on a 40. It incenses me to see people complaining about their lot in life, when they are to blame for it. There are wonderful institutions established for those who are in poverty and seek a way out: public school and the military. It's not like you have to be a killing machine these days when you sign up. The military offers all kinds of choices.... if I were poor and couldn't afford college, I would go straight into the military.

AR

AR apparently wasn't here several months ago when former deputy David Glisson's backers had their one and only march downtown. We haven't heard much from them lately - so at least a few people in the Columbus area are trying to move on.

If AR wants to hear David Glisson defenders or questions about that night in December 2003, he should listen to local talk radio. Those things will come up eventually. On Mike Gaymon's WDAK talk show it might take ten years, but eventually....

But ouch - what does this writer have against "One Columbus?" Does he really want five or six? Well, then again it makes for an interesting Little League baseball tournament.

As for young people "staying off the streets after midnight" - don't be deceived. AR is being downright liberal here. David Glisson's attorney Richard Hagler would have the streets empty by 9:00 p.m.

True confession: there are times when you might catch me "sipping on a 40." But I refuse to apologize for it. Those 44-ounce giant soft drinks from RaceTrac are very refreshing on a hot summer day.

And we thank AR for encouraging young people to sign up for military service. There's no better way out of poverty than through the dangerous streets of Iraq....

Speaking of education, that's the focus of most of our brief items from the weekend:

+ A Georgia state report found 11 Muscogee County schools failed to make "adequate yearly progress." The most surprising one on the list is Double Churches Middle School. Perhaps the north side of Columbus still has hidden pockets where people are NOT brainy elitists.

(The list of schools falling short of "adequate yearly progress" also includes Jordan and Spencer High Schools. But enough about their football teams....)

+ Phenix City Central High School held two days of student "reidentification," as a new term approaches. Isn't this a great idea? Teenagers who were identified as geeks last year can try to be jocks now.

+ Columbus State University predicted fall enrollment will set another record, topping 7,500 students. I assume this includes the main campus, the downtown "arts" campus - and hey, doesn't Peachtree Mall have some unused store space right now?

+ Which uniformed Phenix City police officer was stationed Saturday night outside a McDonald's restaurant? Are that many people really trying to win prizes in that new PlayStation game?

(Was this another of those "off-duty" officers in uniform? I haven't heard any members of the Phenix City Police complain about their pay. But then again, I also haven't heard of any officers applying to work in Columbus.)

+ The web site which hosts this blog counts today's entry as our 700th post! Look out, Hank Aaron -- we're only 55 away....

COMING SOON: Why one of my feet looks redder than the other....

Your PayPal donations can keep this blog ad-free and independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

9 JUL 05: IS IT IN YOU?

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this humorous, serious, or a little of both - but from time to time, we offer things to reflect upon as we keep the seventh-day Sabbath.)

We never expected a comment about the Adrian Robinson murder case [3 Jul] would touch off some online religious fervor - but it definitely has. The other day we received an e-mail titled, "It's not about Jesus, Mary, Mohammed, or Abraham":

You want my opinion on religion??? (don't answer) Christians (and I'll feel free to speak on this matter, tho i may not be a "southerner", i was born a Christian) have,...well.....to use a metaphor, have got way too much tinsel on the christmas tree. it's all glossed up and doesn't mean what it should. A) it doesn't matter if you believe jesus was the son of god or not, the important thing is to believe "the message". What Would Jesus Do???........he wouldn't put his name on a tee shirt and sell it for $10. christianity has been polluted over the years. it's time to strip away all that lacquer. it's not about mary, jesus, mohammad, or abraham......it's about god. it's about kindness to your fellow man, woman and child. it's about raising your kids in such a way that they grow up knowing there are more important things to life than shiny things made in China. but look around.......how many of you go to church, act very "christian", then go home only to buy off your kid's bad behavior with an X-box or playstation game. and this i know about because my wife is a teacher and has to deal with unruly children like this everyday, and i have to hear about it.

you want god??? look inside your heart, not the torah, the bible, or the koran. god is inside each and every one of us. you want to find peace??? turn off the tv's, talk to one and another, read a friggin book. if we Americans don't change our habits soon, there won't be much left of our legacy besides a few TV Guides and posters of N'Stink. happy Independence Day

Independence, indeed! This man seemingly wants to be independent of all organized religion. But there are problems with this approach - despite not being able to take donations to yourself on your tax return....

Some of us who don't keep Christmas would agree with this writer, about having "too much tinsel" on the tree. In fact, we suggest leaving the trees in the forest - because my Bible says in Jeremiah 10 cutting them down is a "worthless" custom. And besides, couldn't they have worked around some trees to build that new T.G.I. Friday's?

Yet here's Puzzle #1 in this e-mail: to "believe the message" of Christianity DOES require believing Jesus is the Son of God. I John 5:5 says those believers ONLY are the ones who "overcome the world." That is, they eventually gain victory over this world's sins and corruption - even if they pass the wrong bar late at night.

I agree with the writer that Jesus probably wouldn't sell T-shirts with His name on them for ten dollars. But Jesus WAS a carpenter - and I've heard ministers suggest He might have prepared crucifixion stakes during those years. Can you imagine? He may have sold souvenirs AHEAD of the main event.

It also seems fair to say Christianity "has been polluted over the years." This pollution can take many forms - from Jimmy Swaggart's sins to priests molesting children. And who knows how much food was thrown away from church picnics and dinners, which could have been donated to the needy....

But for believers like me, it IS about one of the four choices of people in this writer's message. It's about Jesus, since I Timothy 3:16 describes Him as "God (who) appeared in a body...." Or since the Father remained in heaven, you might say Jesus the Son was the "body double."

Kindness truly is a good thing. Teaching your children about bigger priorities than "shiny things made in China" is also important - but I'm talking here about something more than those new "Korean Hyundais" being made in Montgomery....

And the writer is correct in suggesting we should not simply "act" Christian. No, we should be "Acts Christians" - as in the book of the Bible which follows John.

Yet Puzzle #2 comes with this person's claim that we should "look inside" for God. If inside my heart is where God is, this is truly scary. The "god" inside some people may have killed about 50 transit riders in London this past week.

I think back over events in my life, and clearly can see God has NOT always been inside my heart. Jeremiah 17:9 tells me, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked." I could apply this to some of the women I've dreamed of dating, but I won't....

Is peace really as easy as turning off the television, talking and reading a book? History tells me otherwise. They didn't have television in the 1920's, when a lot of people read and talked about Adolf Hitler's "Mein Kampf" - and that seemed to result in World War II.

The answer to peace may come down to which book you read. Mayor Bob Poydasheff wants people in Columbus to "read every book." Somewhere in the library system, there's bound to be a Bible on the shelf somewhere. Read it carefully, apply it properly, and who knows what sort of peace might break out.

We've also heard again from the woman who let us have it Wednesday, concerning Jesus's mother Mary:

I, too, should be careful before hitting the submit button. Although I could spend more time attempting to argue the points you made in your criticism of my e-mail, you amply proved one point on which there can be no dispute: Don't try to engage in commentary with a blogger. He's got the bully pulpit!

We truly do welcome your submissions here - and sometimes readers like you make us stop and think. For instance, I posted a new article online the other day in response to the claim that I'm a "bitter person." Let the record show I haven't drunk any "bitter tea" since - or sweet tea, for that matter.

Your PayPal donations can keep this blog ad-free and independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

8 JUL 05: JUST FOR THE FUND OF IT

The Columbus Urban League held its annual "Equal Opportunity Dinner" Thursday night. But sadly, a moment to build "One Columbus" was lost -- as David Glisson and his lawyer didn't show up, to have an equal opportunity to defend themselves.

BLOG EXCLUSIVE: Reginald Pugh of the Urban League is one of the promoters of a new fund-raising campaign, called the "Kenny Walker Fund." It's the first substantial news we've heard about the Walker case since the Riverfest boycott was canceled in April - so we've turned from not spending money to giving money away.

"Kenny Walker Fund" reads the modest masthead atop the letter I saw this week. It explains the fund-raising drive is to pay the legal expenses for Joseph Wiley, who's arguing for the convening of a second grand jury in the killing of Kenneth Walker. Does this mean Wiley has his doubts about that 100-million dollar lawsuit?

Joseph Wiley is handling the appeal to the Georgia Supreme Court for a second grand jury in the Kenneth Walker case. You may recall it was Wiley who persuaded civil rights leaders to have a "cooling-off period" after they lost in Superior Court [22 Apr]. It worked, because I didn't run my air conditioner much in June at all....

(As it happened, the guest speaker at Thursday night's Urban League dinner was new Georgia Chief Justice Leah Sears. Is this really going to help the appeal for the Walker family -- forcing an influential African-American justice to recuse herself, for ethical reasons?)

From the short peek I had at this letter, it's not clear how much money the Kenny Walker Fund is trying to raise. Certainly Joseph Wiley wouldn't give a discount on his legal fees to civil rights groups - because that might be considered race discrimination.

The fund-raising appeal notes if there's money left over after Joseph Wiley's legal fees are paid, it will go into a scholarship fund for Kenneth Walker's children. The priorities here are interesting - as groups which often call for "putting children first" let a lawyer go to the front of the line.

I don't know how many people in the area are receiving this appeal from the Kenny Walker Fund. You'd think the mailing list would include everyone who signed petitions to recall Sheriff Ralph Johnson - but then again, I'm assuming William Howell of Rainbow/PUSH is organized enough to keep a copy of those addresses....

Someone I know who received the appeal from the Kenny Walker Fund seemed unpersuaded by it. "They're going to get so much money from that lawsuit...." this person said. Well, maybe. Take out legal fees and taxes, and I'm not sure even a $100 million judgment will leave enough to buy a home in Green Island.

An obvious question may arise from this fund-raising drive: where is the campaign to help pay former Deputy David Glisson's legal bills? After all, his attorney has spent much more time on TV - and Richard Hagler may be charging him so much money per soundbite.

The "Friends of David Glisson" web site has a reminder of a fund for the fired deputy at CB&T branches. For all I know, Glisson still doesn't have a steady job - even though you'd think plenty of those new restaurants around Columbus Park Crossing would hire him, merely for the name value.

Now for other items from a sad and busy Thursday....

+ Gas prices across Columbus suddenly jumped 15 cents a gallon. What gets the blame for this? Empty rigs in the Gulf of Mexico, due to tropical storms? Crude oil costing 60 dollars a barrel? Please don't blame the events in London - because subway trains don't run on gasoline.

+ Senator Richard Shelby of Alabama happened to be in London, as the "Terror on the Tube" occurred. He gave Fox News Channel this analysis: "The people are determined.... in fact, the sun came out today...." What's he trying to do - encourage terrorists to remove the clouds completely?

+ Fort Benning's "Ranger Rendezvous" ended with several new names added to the Ranger Hall of Fame. They include James Kinsey, one of the founders of America Online. So if the AOL Spam Blocker seems unusually aggressive, this could explain it....

+ "Golf Digest" magazine ranked Auburn-Opelika the best place for golf in the country, out of 330 metropolitan areas. Aha! This may explain that arson at the Indian Pines clubhouse - some jealous caddy from Birmingham probably did it.

+ Google News reported softball will be dropped from the schedule for the 2012 Olympics. Columbus made Olympic softball famous in 1996 -- and soon it may look as antiquated and out-of-date as the tug-of-war at St. Louis in 1904.

+ The remains of Tropical Storm Cindy left extensive damage at Atlanta Motor Speedway, including a blown-down scoreboard tower. Tony Stewart's crew hurried to the scene to take pictures - to use in his defense, the next time he throws a fit.

(In case you haven't been updated on this: Atlanta Motor Speedway is under a caution flag for debris on the track - for roughly the next three months.)

+ WLTZ NBC-38 showed a "makeup" edition of Cascade Hills Church's "Real Time" broadcast. Last weekend's program never appeared at 2:00 a.m. Sunday, after the rain-delayed NASCAR race - as if God had to get some sleep before the Sunday morning church services.

(Last weekend's cancellation was strange, because Cascade Hills Pastor Bill Purvis's testimony involves almost dying from a Columbus attacker early on a Sunday morning. If God can help him after midnight on a Saturday night, he can help NASCAR fans who drank too many beers watching a race.)

+ Instant Message to WHAL radio: You're "Hallelujah 1460," playing gospel music - yet you're running commercials for "readings" from a "spiritualist"?! Now we know what Clear Channel's REAL god is. It's the almighty dollar....

(I shouldn't have been surprised by this commercial for a spiritualist, on a "Christian" station. A year or two ago, WHAL ran condom commercials late at night -- almost as if they were providing "equal time" for all the songs about obeying commandments.)

COMING SATURDAY: E-mails and answers in our recent fuss about the Catholic Church and "Mother Mary...."

Your PayPal donations can keep this blog ad-free and independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

7 JUL 05: ART AND LETTER

"What does this mean? What am I to assume?" So writes sculptor Albert Paley in a letter sent to lawyers for the Muscogee County Library Board last week. That's funny -- people here have asked those very same questions, about the statue he wants to build outside the Columbus Public Library.

Albert Paley has declined all requests for interviews about "Transformation." But he has plenty to say in a letter to the Muscogee County Library Board which became public Wednesday. Paley is stumped about why the board wants him to put a hold on the project. OK, there's one more person for my "blog invitation" list.

Your blog was handed a copy of Albert Paley's letter to the Library Board Wednesday. But in the true library spirit, I checked it back in after reading it and taking notes....

The letter dated June 30 from Albert Paley warns the Library Board will NOT save money by delaying work on "Transformation." Instead, there will be "additional cost expenditures.... restocking charges, storage fees, shipping costs...." Paley could have a great future managing Blockbuster Video stores.

The letter from Albert Paley was actually a reply to one the Muscogee County Library Board sent him June 15. That letter asked for work on the statue to stop "in light of the funding issue." Paley's answer says he does NOT understand what the board is talking about - and I don't, either. If the statue only cost $100,000, would more people like it?

For those who came in late: the "funding issue" with this proposed $250,000 sculpture is that Columbus Council considers it too expensive. The Muscogee County Library Board may not have the heart to tell Albert Paley there are other issues -- like Red McDaniel saying it looked like a pile of scrap.

Albert Paley's letter offers a hint as to why "Transformation" costs $250,000: "Because of the demand in China of steel usage, steel orders are backed up for six to eight weeks...." The Library Board should learn a lesson from this. Order large sculptures through Wal-Mart, and the price from China could be much less.

Albert Paley's four-page letter asks at one point: "Is this project merely on hold, or are we entering into a breach of contract situation?" He truly is an artist, isn't he? This is one fanciful way to threaten a lawsuit....

Perhaps the saddest part of Albert Paley's letter is this: "Quite disturbingly, I have received hate mail from various religious groups and individuals in reference to the sculpture and my intent." Religious groups?! Do Roy Moore's supporters want a Ten Commandments monument outside the library instead?

(OK, which local "religious groups" are protesting "Transformation?" I thought the church denomination I attend was the only one which looks at works such as the Washington Monument, and sees phallic symbols.)

"Oddly enough," Albert Paley's letter continues, "I have completed commissions for the Vatican, the Vatican Council of Bishops, and most recently, the National Cathedral in Washington." That should boil down the religious protest a little. It's probably from either Southern Baptists and Pentecostals....

(Before rumors start: - no, I have NOT written Albert Paley to complain about him doing art work for Roman Catholics. Nor have I written NBC Sports, to complain about them showing mostly Notre Dame football games every fall.)

Albert Paley goes on to say the debate over "Transformation" now has a "national dimension.... which brings into question my integrity and professionalism as an artist, and thus my reputation...." I can hear the critics now, saying counterfeiters consider themselves professional artists as well.

Albert Paley has told his staff to keep working on "Transformation" for the time being. But his letter says because of the controversy, "I feel at this point compromised through no fault of my own." Paley may have a point here. Just because a used car lot is full of lemons doesn't mean you have to buy one.

The Muscogee County Library Board's Art Committee holds its next meeting Friday. It's taking pains to make sure you know about it, and how it's open to the public. The problem now is that meetings between the board's attorneys and Albert Paley's lawyers probably won't be.

Meanwhile, the Chattahoochee Valley Regional Library System announced Wednesday it's set a record - with one million checkouts of materials in the last 12 months. That's the record officials are talking about. There probably also was a record in June for complaints about statues, but that hasn't been announced.

And speaking of public displays: the Columbus Museum began receiving pieces Wednesday for a new exhibit honoring Horace King. He's the 19^th-century slave who designed the first bridge between Columbus and Phenix City. King obviously was smarter than his master, because no bridges over the Chattahoochee charge tolls today.

BLOG UPDATE: A partial settlement was announced Wednesday between the U.S. Justice Department and Taylor County schools. The high school no longer will have top students selected on the basis of race - and no, it will NOT be replaced with selections based on whether you listen to country or hip-hop music.

Taylor County school officials say they had "black and white" senior honors to ensure equal representation for all ethnic communities. The U.S. Justice Department decided that actually could be a form of segregation. This settlement could be
groundbreaking - and lead to articles about white people in the Columbus Times.

(This Taylor County racial issue was over what settlement papers call "senior superlatives." For those of you in Muscogee County high schools, this apparently refers to who's the "illest.")

Now for other Wednesday notes, in which we will try not to discriminate based on anything in particular:

+ The remains of Tropical Storm Cindy sparked tornado warnings across the Columbus area. Several funnel clouds were cited - but were some drivers looking up so much that they caused that wreck at the west end of the J.R. Allen Parkway?

+ Columbus Police confirmed Hannan Academy music teacher David Seckinger was arrested last weekend, on charges including "making terroristic threats." He reportedly made these threats to his girlfriend - so love songs may not be this man's specialty.

+ Auburn officials declared an arsonist set fire to the Indian Pines golf course clubhouse last weekend, apparently after a burglary. Michael Jordan never does this after HE loses bets on the fairway....

+ Instant Message to the man who called claiming there's something in common between "Dancing With the Stars" and meteorologist Heath Morton: I'll have to take a wild guess because you stumped me -- do you think Morton and Kelly Monaco are brother and sister?

SCHEDULED FRIDAY: What's new in the Kenneth Walker case.... and it's about money....

Your PayPal donations can keep this blog ad-free and independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

6 JUL 05: THANK YOU, GEORGIA

The winner of a big "Fantasy Five" lottery prize was revealed Tuesday. The winning ticket was sold in Columbus - and bought by a man who lives in Smiths Station. If this income shift keeps happening, Alabama Governor Bob Riley actually might start to like lotteries.

James Edwards of Smiths Station bought a winning Fantasy Five ticket last Tuesday, worth more than $670,000. It's too bad tax money already was spent to fulfill Smiths Station residents' biggest fantasy - railroad crossing gates near U.S. 280.

A Georgia Lottery news release claimed James Edwards bought his winning Fantasy Five ticket at "a Crown station" on South Lumpkin Road. Well, not quite - since all the Crown stations have turned into Spectrums in recent months. So with a winner from Smiths Station, Columbus has lost its Crowns in more ways than one....

(The convenience store also gets a cash prize, for selling the winning ticket. Conflicting reports put the amount between $2,000 and $13,000 - so once again, we don't know how low gas prices will drop, or for how long.)

James Edwards had no secret formula for his winning Fantasy Five ticket. He used the "Quik-Pik" method, where the lottery computer picks the numbers. This store is so close to Fort Benning -- yet sometimes dumb luck works far better than strategic planning.

Isn't Georgia to some extent a big loser in this particular drawing? James Edwards will pay state income tax on his Fantasy Five fortune to Alabama -- unless the Governor lives up to his promise, and refuses to balance the state budget with lottery games.

This Fantasy Five win was actually the second big payoff in our area in recent weeks. A retired college instructor in Americus won a Lotto South drawing for millions of dollars -- meaning it's only a matter of time until Millard Fuller knocks on his door asking for a donation.

(The store in Americus which sold that winning Lotto South ticket is called "Wayne's World." Do you think the staff heard that news, gave each other "high-fives" and shouted, "Party time! Excellent!"?)

And to think about ten years ago, I refused to shop at stores which sold lottery tickets. The church I attended at the time declared all forms of gambling wrong. Trouble was, I lived in suburban Atlanta - and when the gas tank ran low in the wrong part of town, you couldn't drive to Phenix City for relief.

I still don't play Georgia Lottery games - but once in awhile I try the Publishers Clearing House online lotto game. It's free to play, has a million-dollar daily drawing, and everyone who plays winds up getting something. Most of the time it's only your e-mail address on a spam list - but at least that's something.

But before we go online and play, let's work on some other items from the Tuesday news:

+ The biennial "Ranger Rendezvous" began at Fort Benning, with a mass tactical parachute jump by about 1,200 people. But am I missing something here? Why do you never hear "Might as Well Jump" by Van Halen at one of these events?

+ The evening news revealed Columbus soon will have a T.G.I. Friday's on Whittlesey Road, near the Lowe's store. Well, it's about time! Local Walgreens stores have been selling gift cards for those restaurants for months - as if they want people to leave town and dine in Atlanta.

(I didn't realize until I checked online that the closest T.G.I. Friday's to my home is inside the Atlanta airport. We may be on to something here. How about a renovation to create the "Columbus Metropolitan Airport and Strip Mall?")

+ WRBL's web site added something new and potentially annoying. Call up a news story, and you'll find an embedded 30-second car commercial which you can't close without leaving the page. Well, at least Fireworks Outlet won't have any more ads until December.

+ The Albany Herald reported funding for Albany's Independence Day fireworks was cut out of next year's city budget. I have some neighbors you can borrow next July 4, to fill in....

+ The search for a missing Clark Atlanta University student had a surprising ending - with the discovery that she was in an Atlanta jail for disturbing the peace! By not telling her family in San Francisco, she should add a second count of disturbing THEIR peace.

+ Instant Message to a woman I'll call Ms. F: Please get well soon. Thank you for your service, your help, your friendship - and your constructive criticism. For instance, that day when you said my jokes were "sometimes funny...."

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: We're still receiving e-mail about our recent comments concerning religion. We'll address those messages in a separate entry this weekend.)

Your PayPal donations can keep this blog ad-free and independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.