18 JAN 05: DEAL WITH IT

The Columbus Cottonmouths announced Monday they'll donate the money from Thursday night's hockey game, to help survivors of the South Asia tsunami. The hockey team must realize how well off it is by comparison. For one thing, in hockey the zamboni machine only creates waves of less than one inch.

Isn't it nice to see how the world has joined hands to help survivors of the tsunami? Welllll - not so fast. I've been hearing someone suggest lately you should NOT assist the orphans and widows of Asia. And amazingly, I didn't have to turn on WRCG's "TalkLine" to hear it....

Believe it or not. the hints of opposition to tsunami relief come from a church pastor - MY church pastor. He admits the pictures from Asia "leave you numb," and perhaps even speechless. But with this man, a change of mouth does not change a heart.

The tsunami struck December 26^th. The following weekend, my pastor made his first comment about it - and warned about con artists who might collect money for survivors. This is certainly understandable. If the teenagers aren't offering candy bars at your door in exchange, forget it....

My pastor even offered a way to dodge possible "tsunami tscams." Tell them "you've made a donation already" - through U.S. tax dollars going to Asia in aid. Based on this logic, I don't have to help any more homeless people into shelters. My tax money also goes for housing grants.

On the weekend of January 1, my pastor also announced our church denomination had made a donation to the American Red Cross. But the denomination never has announced the amount of that donation - perhaps to avoid being embarrassed by some extra-generous Hollywood star.

But the last couple of weekends, my pastor's tone about the tsunami has become more strident. On the weekend of January 8, he offered a personal opinion from the pulpit: "I thought charity begins at HOME." With some ministers, this could be understood as a sneaky appeal for money to buy a vacation cottage.

This pastor went on to claim some people are trying to be "more godly than God" in the wake of the tsunami. How is an average listener supposed to understand this? "God is godly, so you don't have to be"?!?!

This past weekend brought round three of the anti-relief remarks. The Pastor again said during our "church announcements" that charity should begin at home - but he stopped short of suggesting all the U.S. government aid be spent on Thursday's inauguration.

"Who's going to come to OUR aid?" the pastor asked - apparently referring to deadly mudslides in California. The answer to that seems obvious, at least in part. They're called home insurance companies....

"We're trying to buy lovers," the pastor went on to say. This refers to a Bible verse about trying to win friends in surrounding countries - and let's face it: if it's illegal on Victory Drive, it ought to be illegal nationwide.

Another minister in this church denomination has set up a charity fund, to help Sri Lankan fishermen rebuild lost business after the tsunami. But of course, my pastor never mentioned this in his remarks -- although he admitted the U.S. gives aid to other countries because "that's the kind of people we are." Stupid idiots, maybe, but that kind of people....

My Pastor cited Indonesia's government as a reason not to help tsunami survivors - since it's told the U.S. military to end its relief work by March 31. "Well, isn't that a fine how-do-you-do?" the pastor commented. But if the German army came ashore in Savannah to aid hurricane survivors, the minister's World War II references might never end.

So, you may be asking, ave I tried talking to my Pastor about all this? I suppose I should - at least to ask if he's read the section of the Bible about the "Good Samaritan" lately....

But I've known this Pastor for years, and I know I can't change is mind about issues such as this. Correcting him a couple of years ago about Will Rogers coming from Oklahoma and not Indiana was a more obvious error -- yet apparently I was the only one in the congregation to dare to mention that mistake.

I'd mention more, but I must wrap things up for reasons which will be explained later:

+ Aflac used the Martin Luther King Jr. Unity Breakfast to announce its donating $1 million for a national King Memorial in Washington. Using my pastors catch phrase about charity, somebody's gotta ask it - how about some money to build one HERE first?

+ Wilton Gregory officially was installed as Roman Catholic Archbishop of Atlanta. Coretta Scott King attended the ceremony - and now somewhere Roy Bourgeois is preparing a request letter for next November.

+ Georgia Power employees presented a King Day program at Carver High School, urging students to stay in school. If the students are at the school on this holiday, isn't this like preaching to the choir?

+ A Virginia businessman offered to buy and reopen the bankrupt Quantegy plant in Opelika. The businessman's name is Race Cannon - and I was surprised to learn he's NOT an heir to the Cannon Brew Pub fortune.

+ Instant Message to nearly all Columbus gas stations: Why did you raise your price to about $1.80 a gallon Monday? I don't think that many people here use heating oil for their homes....

COMING SOON: Opelika needs an official city song.... and we're working on one....

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

17 JAN 05: KING ME

The weekend church service never brought it up, but that didn't surprise me at all. I knew I'd be considered bold and a bit controversial simply by mentioning it - so I said farewell to my Pastor Saturday evening by daring to utter the words: "Happy Martin Luther King Day."

Someone said to me recently, "You attend a redneck church, don't you?" Considering what I've written about it here, I can see why he reached that conclusion. We certainly don't do anything to mark M.L.K. Day - but we justify that by saying we don't do anything to mark Jesus's birthday, either.

(Yet let the record show a couple of African-American families DO attend my congregation - which I think makes us more diverse than almost all the churches with Sunday evening services on TV-16.)

I wish my congregation would do something to address Martin Luther King, Jr. Day - but 37 years after his death, I'm afraid he's still a controversial figure with some members. Yet no one's objecting to the Italian dinner we're having next weekend, and Italy gave us fascism and the Roman Catholics.

After 19 years of a national holiday, other people still may be trying to sort out what to do with "King Day." The Columbus Symphony Orchestra used to have a special weekend program. Instead, Saturday night's concert had works by Piazolla, Korngold and Dvorak. Maybe Bobby McFerrin's Wednesday show at the RiverCenter gives the symphony immunity.

So what did my pastor say in the parking lot, after I wished him a happy King Day? "Oh, that's right! It's a three-day weekend." There was no happy King Day in response -- but I think I heard his wife mentioning something about the Jesse Jackson march.

When my schedule has permitted, I've attended the M.L.K. Day noon-hour worship service. This year I won't be able to go - but at least I'll put out a flag for the holiday. No one else in my apartment complex even bothers doing that for Independence Day.

CLASSIC BLOG: We continue our holiday weekend reflections on "Driving Ms. Lola," my late next-door neighbor:

21 JAN 04: "I hope I find the right door. I don't want to get shot." So said one of my neighbors Tuesday morning - and no, she was NOT standing outside the Muscogee County Sheriff's office....

I'd brought my older, fixed-income neighbor to a food pantry, which provided her with free groceries for a week. It's located in an unlikely part of town - St. Thomas Episcopal Church on Hilton Avenue, in a neighborhood with big lawns and expensive-looking homes. The only "shots" people fire around here are at the Country Club of Columbus.

You may not realize St. Thomas Episcopal Church has a "food closet" for low-income people like my neighbor. Apparently you need to have SOME sort of income - because I don't think METRA buses run down Hilton Avenue.

The door to the food closet is located in a back corner of St. Thomas Episcopal Church. I suppose this provides a measure of privacy - so customers can't hear well-off neighbors complain about how the area is going to pot.

You'll be pleased to learn after trying three doors, my neighbor was NOT shot at the church. In fact, she came out with a grocery cart full of items - but I'm not sure who picked some of the items at the basket. It's hard to imagine a woman in her seventies eating "Mud and Bugs" breakfast cereal. [True!]

My neighbor was thankful for the help St. Thomas Episcopal Church provided. "When you're poor, you've got to do what you've got to do," she told me. "I don't want to rob or steal from anybody." That's good to know - but I'm still keeping score of how much money she owes me for rides around town.

30 JAN 04: "God is good all the time!" my fixed-income neighbor said Thursday as she got in my car after loading the trunk with groceries. But then she added, "White folks will help you. Coloreds won't - black people." This African-American woman slowly is becoming the latest person to believe "one Columbus" really CAN happen.

I drove my neighbor to St. Anne's Outreach, a food pantry located in a house down the hill from St. Anne's Catholic School and Pacelli High. Somehow I doubt any students come here to eat - since if you can afford to send children to private schools, they don't need subsidized lunches.

Before the stop at St. Anne's Outreach, my neighbor and I stopped at the Health and Human Services Center on Comer Avenue. I'd never been here before - and it may be the first city government building I've ever seen with a labeled "Food Court." [True!]

Big signs are present around the Health and Human Services Center promoting employment. One of them said, "Think work, not welfare." So why aren't these signs posted in the management offices of area mills?

7 MAY 04: True confession: my next-door neighbor is becoming my number-one frustration point. She was at my door again late Thursday, asking for a ride today to the landlord's office to pay the rent. I've given her two rides this week - and I'd planned to spend time today buying my own groceries for a change.

I told the neighbor I had to work half-a-day, then buy groceries. She said she didn't know I had to work. So next time I see her, I'll present her with my weekly work schedule - and we'll see if she's organized enough to give me a weekly schedule for chauffeuring duty.

The next-door neighbor says other people who have given her rides in the past all have broken-down cars. Are THAT many people waiting for gas prices to come down?

I try not to express my upset feelings to my neighbor's face. Instead I "talk it out" with myself in my own apartment. But lately the chats are becoming like labor pains -- first 20 minutes apart, then 15 and 10....

This whole situation is conjuring up old, bad memories for me. In 1989 I took in two single men who attended church with me - both saying they needed places to stay for a few weeks. They wound up staying a combined 30 months or so, had no working cars, and ran up bills totalling more than $1,000. In other words, they could be members of Congress.

COMING THIS WEEK: Help tsunami survivors? This church pastor says you should NOT....

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

16 JAN 05: JACKSON ACTION

Let's add up the score from a week of marching in Columbus: Jesse Jackson's group at least 3,000, David Glisson's group 150. Would the Glisson family please go ahead and write the check for damages?

Civil rights groups estimated "hundreds" of people might join Jesse Jackson's march from the Civic Center to the Government Center Saturday. Instead, TV reports put the crowd downtown at between 3,000 and 10,000. Now we're waiting to learn how many marchers Roy Bourgeois recruited from colleges up north.

The route of the "March for Justice" went through the Historic District - which was so fitting, since that area has more law offices per block than about anyplace in Columbus....

People came from as far away as California to join in the March for Justice. Maybe we should learn from some of the visitors - and rename the area around Cusseta Road "South Central Columbus."

Several speeches were given once the march reached the Government Center. Pastor Wayne Baker declared the fight for justice for Kenneth Walker "begins today, January 15, 2005...." Is that an admission that everything he did last year didn't amount to anything?

Antonio Carter of the National Action Network made an emotional plea to law officers: "Stop killing our black people!" Some law officers might respond that "going for the ankles" didn't work for St. Louis Saturday night against the Falcons....

But Jesse Jackson of Rainbow/PUSH was the main event at the Government Center. He warned Columbus in for a "15-round fight" in the Kenneth Walker case. But if a grand jury knocked out the case without an indictment, do we need a judge's decision?

WRBL found several white people in the crowd at the Government Center. I can't help wondering if some of those people got caught in the traffic, because they left pee-wee hockey games at the Civic Center too late in the morning....

(By comparison, I didn't see any African-American people marching in the "Friends of David Glisson" protest last Tuesday. aybe that next promised march needs to take place on a weekend - and go past Chester's Barbecue downtown, to entice a more diverse crowd.)

WRBL also noticed more than 100 police officers kept things secure at the March for Justice -- none of them Sheriff's officers. Police explained they didn't want to incite anything in the crowd. Sadly, I heard one person quietly hope the Ku Klux Klan might do that instead.

The big March for Justice made Saturday's Martin Luther King, Jr. "Unity Parade" downtown almost an afterthought. If you didn't know better, you'd think the parade had been organized by a group of Stepford Wives....

One African-American man along the parade route said Dr. King's dream was becoming reality. "You see white children and black children playing together," he claimed. Maybe they're not having target practice together outside Fort Benning, but otherwise....

Another front in the racial three-ring circus opened Saturday in the Ledger-Enquirer. Columnist Kaffie Sledge took on WRCG radio's "TalkLine," saying some of the callers are "stumbling blocks.... toward One Columbus...." Well, I think they DO want One Columbus - but they want all the African-American people to move to Tuskegee.

Kaffie Sledge went on to chastise TalkLine host Robbie Watson for chuckling as she said Rodney King's famous words: "Can we all get along?" To read Sledge's columns, I sometimes wonder if she chuckles at her own newspaper's comic strips.

So where was I as all the marching went on downtown? I went to church, as I do most every Saturday afternoon - to worship Someone who made all racial groups, and inspired someone to write if people love His law, "nothing shall offend them." Perhaps some people need to review their (ahem) law books....

An African-American man at church hurried to put things away after the closing prayer - so I asked half-jokingly if he was rushing to get to the civil rights march.

"I don't want anything to do with Jesse Jackson," he replied. "He covered up an affair.... and he consulted Bill Clinton on what to do about his affair, when he was doing the same thing himself! He only confessed it because he got caught! So I don't want to hear anything about Jesse Jackson." By the way, our sermon was NOT about forgiveness.

Later at dinner, a white man told me about a Jesse Jackson visit to Americus last year. "He stood on a street corner for a couple of minutes," the man recalled about a protest outside Sumter Regional Hospital. "Then he left.... I heard they couldn't afford to pay him any more than that." That explains what the Urban League President mentioned the other day - it's an appearance fee.

Let's ring the bell to end this round of Jesse Jackson's fight, and note other events from the weekend:

+ Auburn University held a "Parade of Champions" for the football team -- and WXTX "News at Ten" reported hundreds of fans showed up. Maybe if they had called it a "March for Ranking Justice," the crowd would have been bigger.

+ A West Point woman was arrested on charges of shooting circles of bullet holes in store windows in Lanett and Valley. Maybe it's time the Callaway Gardens Gun Club lowered its membership fees.

+ Which Warm Springs church is fighting an unusual problem - with bats living in its walls? Are visitors confusing their noises with a move of the Holy Spirit?

+ Instant Message to the Mandarin House restaurant on Airport Thruway: I enjoyed the meal you served me recently. But when your menu doesn't mention any Ledger-Enquirer awards later than 1990, it may be time for a change -- or at least a new printer.

CLASSIC BLOG: My next-door neighbor Lola was laid to rest Saturday in Society Hill, Alabama. We continue to reflect on our years living side-by-side, with this entry from 4 May 04:

"Today is the first day Alabamians can enroll for the Medicare prescription drug benefit...." said the Troy Public Radio newscaster Monday afternoon. Hmmmm - Troy Public Radio. TPR for short. Tipper! Yup, they're as liberal as Mrs. Gore.

But anyway: I turned up the car radio at the mention of the Medicare story, because my next-door neighbor was riding with me. She's well above age 70, so she'd certainly want to hear this. After all, our last stop was the Kmart pharmacy - where they don't tend to have "Blue-light specials" on blood pressure medicine.

"I wonder where folks in Georgia can apply for that thing," my next-door neighbor asked.

"The phone number he mentioned should work nationwide: 1-800-MEDICARE...."

"How do you spell Medicare?" she asked. I was so stumped by this question that she had to repeat it for me. But come to think of it, I don't recall ever seeing "Medicare" in my English and spelling textbooks.

By this time, we'd parked the car outside the Piggly Wiggly store on Buena Vista Road. So I used that moment to clarify what my neighbor was saying. "You don't know about Medicare....?!"

"No, sir. I've never had that."

My jaw dropped at the woman's statement, as yours may be dropping now. It was all I could do to keep it from becoming a second parking brake.

"I'd like to have it," my neighbor said about Medicare as she climbed out of the car. "It sounds nice, and I could use all the help I can get." Considering she had walked the wrong direction from my car leaving her last stop, I understood this statement in several ways.

As I write this, I'm still stunned by what my neighbor said. All these years, she's gone WITHOUT any sort of Medicare?! Was she at jobs with health care plans THAT generous?

This is a woman who relies on Social Security checks and occasional lottery wins to pay her monthly bills, and uses a PeachCare card to buy some groceries. How could she know nothing about Medicare benefits? I thought the only people in that position were billionaires like Warren Buffett and Leona Helmsley.

My neighbor apparently never noticed all the TV commercials in recent weeks, promoting the new Medicare prescription drug benefit. Even the U.S. Chamber of Commerce has run ads about it - which makes you wonder how many drug companies REALLY paid for the time.

It simply shocks me that someone up in years and low in income never has used Medicare, and seemingly never has heard of it. My neighbor has the TV news on almost every morning - but apparently for decades, she's only done that for the time in the corner of the screen.

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

15 JAN 05: CLASSIC BLOG - LUCKY YOU?

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: While big processions moved down Broadway and Second Avenue this afternoon, another quiet one moved up First Avenue - a funeral procession for my late next-door neighbor. In her honor, we use King Day weekend to repeat several of our favorite items about her. This one is from 16 Jun 04:)

"Certified documents enclosed for addressee only," read the outside of the envelope from Marietta. If someone tampered of obstructed the delivery of this envelope to me, it warned, he could face a "$2000 fine or five years imprisonment." It's almost tempting to lave that envelope on the windshield of an enemy, then call police.

But this envelope had my name on it, so I opened it - and much as I suspected, it was a promotion for a car dealer. Why can't these places put their names on their envelopes? Do they pull this same sort of stunt when it comes to car payment bills?

I've grown familiar with gimmicks to get me into a car dealer's showroom. This one from Bill Heard Chevrolet came with a scratch-off card, with instructions NOT to scratch it off "until you are in the presence of an official representative." So it's like mixing the Georgia Lottery with the Patriot Act....

The offer notes one in 50,000 cards will win $10,000 cash. One will win $100 cash. The other 49,998 receive a "$1,000 Internet Shopping Spree." Yeah right, I said to myself. How many used CD-Roms of card games do I need?

I set Bill Heard's offer aside to pursue another day - but a short time later, my older next-door neighbor knocked on my door. She'd received the very same envelope, already scratched off the card -- and "I won a $1,000 shopping spree!" I wonder if she reads the fine print on Cash 3 tickets, too.

"I already called them, and they said I should bring it right over," my neighbor said with enthusiasm. Perhaps the Bill Heard staff has more patience on customers they perceive as suckers.

Of course, Bill Heard Chevrolet didn't realize who this potential customer was. This is the neighbor who needs me to give her rides all the time, so she has no car. And the financing would have to be really creative - since only hours before, I'd taken her to Valley Rescue Mission for free clothing and canned goods.

I tried to reason with my neighbor - noting if 49,998 out of 50,000 people get a $1,000 Internet shopping spree, she shouldn't get her hopes too high. Yet she was optimistic: "I told them I want to get some clothing." Well, she certainly wasn't likely to lose her shirt....

My neighbor was a bit surprised at the distance to Bill Heard Chevrolet. Why, it's located east of Peachtree Mall - too far out for the METRA buses she refuses to ride, anyway.

(But let's face it: new car dealerships in downtown areas are a thing of the past. The car companies don't want them there. And we certainly know the Phenix City Council doesn't want them there anymore.)

Nice touch #1: Bill Heard Chevrolet has marked parking spaces for customers. I've always worried a little if I took my car to a dealer and parked in the wrong spot, a salesperson would sell it by the time I returned.

Luis the car salesman seemed a bit puzzled as we got out of my humble Honda and walked inside. I couldn't blame him, really. For one thing, who was the customer here? And for another thing, could that 75-year-old African-American woman possibly be my mother?

Nice touch #2: "It feels good in here!" my neighbor declared walking inside the showroom. She meant the air conditioning on a sticky June day. I was a bit surprised not to notice any "new car smell."

We sat down with Luis, and he pulled out the "gift certificate" for my neighbor's $1,000 Internet shopping spree. All she had to do was go on the Internet and pick gifts of all sorts. Of course, now all someone had to do was explain to this older woman what an Internet is.

Nice touch #3: In addition to the business cards on Luis's desk, he also had several for "Living Waters Fellowship." I have no idea where this group meets, because the phone book only has a zip code and phone number -- perhaps to guard against visits by those pesky Jehovah's Witnesses.

"Praise Jesus!" said my neighbor about what she considered a shopping spree blessing. "I'm 75 years old, I've been attending a white church...." Even when there's a mass mailing giveaway -- if it happens in Columbus, someone will boil it down to a racial issue.

"My neighbor didn't want to give me a ride over here," the winner continued, "but this man here was willing to help me out." Welllll - this WAS promoted in Tuesday's blog entry as today's topic....

We left Bill Heard Chevrolet with no pitch at all from Luis to buy a car. He stared at my neighbor's words of praise and offered quiet agreement - acting like he could stare down Tim Duncan in that new American Express commercial.

As we started toward home on Manchester Expressway, I couldn't help noticing the gully in front of Peachtree Mall. The rain had created a very wide stream of water -- but apparently it developed too quickly for anyone to whitewater raft on it.

My next-door neighbor doesn't have a computer, so she asked me how she could claim her shopping spree.

"I can go on the Internet, go to the web site on your certificate, and type in the confirmation numbers."

"And you know how to do that?!"

"Yeah," I quietly replied as modestly as I could. Nine years of online experience hasn't brought me any dates, though.

When we got home, my neighbor gave me her gift certificate. I turned on the computer, called up the gift web site and entered the right numbers -- then went to my neighbor next door and said, "I've set it up in the apparel section."

"What?"

"The apparel section." That's a fancy northern word for clothing, you know.

My neighbor entered my apartment, became only the second person ever to sit in my Official Computer Chair -- and just stared at the screen. This 75-year-old woman is so computer illiterate, she might have run away if I'd said "mouse."

I scrolled down through the apparel section for my neighbor - and she seemed stunned by the listed "market price" and "you pay shipping and handling" lower price. This woman on a fixed income wasn't praising Jesus anymore. In fact, she came across as a woman who didn't have many blessings to count.

I explained the fine print on the gift certificate which my neighbor hadn't noticed. The items on this "shopping spree" require you to pay the shipping and handling, PLUS a "five-dollar processing fee per order." Spree and fee only rhyme with "free."

Another dilemma: to order items online, my neighbor would need a credit card. She doesn't have any. In fact, it took me more than a year to stop her from making me a personal loan office.

But the good news for my neighbor is that there's a "snail mail" option in the gift certificate fine print. For only $2.95 she can send a request to Florida for a catalog - well, maybe I shouldn't say "only." She can't pay me seven bucks for gas until next month.

My disappointed neighbor left will think about finding that $2.95 -- but she told me as she left my apartment, "I didn't see anything there for women, anyway." Unisex leather jackets and ladies fringed vests apparently didn't count.

I probed around the gift web site after my neighbor left - and it DOES have a few potential bargains on it. But some of the others seem like a ripoff. For instance, a one-year subscription to GQ magazine costs $9.95, including "shipping and handling." Shipping a magazine?! Is Fed-Ex delivering it in brown bubble wrap?

COMING SUNDAY: Full coverage of the Saturday action.... and our tribute to Ms. Lola continues....

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

14 JAN 05: SAFETY ZONE?

An e-mail came our way the other day from someone using the name, "Is Our City Safe." It was a bit surprising to find it was NOT a spam offer for a high-priced home security system.

The e-mail name actually was a clue to the message - and here it is, the way we received it:

Dear Sir or Ma'am, I have lived in Columbus for most of my life, and for the most part, have never considered Columbus to have a problem with crime. However, recently I have seen a tremendous increase in violent crimes such as murders, armed robbery, and hijacking of motorvehicles. Not to mention the rise in nonviolent crimes such as motorvehicle thefts, car break-ins, prostitution, and drugs. I cant help but wonder if this increase in crime is directly linked to the problem of recruiting and retaining qualified Public Safety personnel. For example, I can remember when the Columbus Police Department had a waiting list to be hired. The officers who were hired were the best qualified, most trustworthy, and honorable men and women. More recently, several officers have been arrested for theft, peeping tom, dui, and drug use. This trend concerns me greatly. I was watching the council meeting on television the other night when I saw that some citizens were concerned about officers properly completing reports, violating civil rights, and basically not doing their job at all. Case in point, the mentally retarded man that was missing a few weeks ago. I can usually see both sides of a story when people don't agree with what the Police have done in a certain situation, but I cannot see how telling the family of the missing retarded man that we are short handed and just filling out a report is doing a thorough job. This is completely unacceptable in my eyes. What if that were your mother that disappeared? I don't think "we are short handed" would have cut it. I also have personal knowledge that there are Police officers on the street, carrying guns and driving city owned vehicles, that have training officer's recommendations in their files that the trainee should be fired and not released from the training program. Despite this fact, those officers are out there patrolling our neighborhoods, issuing citations, investigating crimes, and in certain circumstances, committing crimes. I think it is great the city council wants to beautify and clean up Columbus, but I think that the clean up should start at the bottom. I think we should only be hiring the most qualified, trustworthy people to protect us. Without a solid foundation under the city, it doesn't make a difference how beautiful it is, the city will eventually crumble. I can honestly say that the situation is going to get worse before it gets better. I just hate to see this city hit rock bottom before the city council decides to fix the problem. Thank you for your time

We thank the anonymous author for writing - and this citizen certainly seems concerned. Have you noticed the TV newscasts never show someone's name with the title "UNconcerned citizen"?

The final official numbers aren't out yet, but Columbus did have more homicides in 2004 than the year before -- a total of 25. But look on the bright side. At least the number of shootings by Muscogee County Sheriff's officers dropped 100 percent.

(I'm honestly not sure if prostitution is up in Columbus or not. Maybe Fort Benning will take care of some of that over the next few days -- by shipping the Third Brigade back to Iraq.)

Can anyone else remember when there was a waiting list to be a Columbus Police officer? It would be nice to have a date - to see if that changed when Aflac became big enough to hire security guards.

That's not a very nice list of offenses connected with Columbus Police - "theft, peeping tom, DUI and drug use." From some pro football teams, this might be expected....

The "missing man" mentioned by the e-mailer is Billy Hardin, who disappeared and was found alive Thanksgiving weekend [29 Nov 04]. Police may have been shorthanded then not because of overall staffing, but the holiday - with police off Thursday, resting to handle weird drivers in the parking lots on Friday.

So some police officers are working in Columbus with negative training reports?! It would be interesting to know who these officers are. But then again, only one such possible person has written me - and former Marshal Ken Suddeth embarrassed him here royally....

The e-mailer makes a thought-provoking point that the cleanup of Columbus should "start at the bottom." And in one way, this is happening. The new Infantry Museum is about as far toward the bottom of the city map as you can get.

It's a worthy goal to hire only "the most qualified, trustworthy people" to protect Columbus. And to be honest, some of those people aren't far from here right now -- except they're on Secret Service duty for former President Carter in Plains.

I saw one thing needing cleanup in Columbus Thursday - one of the racquetball/handball courts at Benning Park. In the last two weeks, someone tried to cover the walls on the west court with dirty words. At least the words were spelled correctly, so the vandals learned SOMETHING in school....

I say "tried to cover" the walls with dirty words because the racquetball court walls are forest-green. The black spray-paint the vandals apparently tried to use didn't show up very well. Next time, try some chalk - because at least that can be erased.

The warm January weather has allowed me to head for Benning Park and racquetball workouts in shorts. The other day, I actually found two people playing on the other court - and they invited me to join them. Across the street at Baker Village, I fear a "threesome" means something quite different....

Rod and Allison offered to take me on in "three-way cutthroat" racquetball. Cutthroat - at Benning Park?! If I had been an undercover police officer, this might have been grounds for a criminal background check.

It had been 20 years and several states since I'd played three-sided racquetball. We played with the server taking on the other two players in the backcourt - which I think is how 0-21 Savannah State University is playing basketball this winter.

Rod may have called this form of racquetball "cutthroat," but there was NO trash-talk among the three of us. In fact, it was good clean fun.-- except for the one ball I got dirty by hitting it over the fence, and seemingly halfway to Harris County.

Just reporting the facts: I won the three-way cutthroat game by getting to ten points first. Rod had nine, Allison had six - but she went home with him, anyway. Maybe next time, I should play with my T-shirt off.

Now let's see what else came spinning off the sidewall in our direction Thursday:

+ Columbus NAACP President Bill Madison challenged people from Alabama and Fort Benning to join in Saturday's civil rights march. C'mon now - Fort Benning?! Soldiers don't even go across the fence line on post, to join S.O.A. Watch.

+ Mayor Bob Poydasheff received an award at the "One Columbus" dinner, for his efforts to promote "Columbus South." But some of us are wondering why he couldn't persuade someone to build this year's "St. Jude Dream Home" there.

+ Marion County Middle School had low water pressure, after having no water at all Wednesday. One angry parent complained to WRBL the school should have been closed for a lack of water - proving someone needs to give her free tickets to Westville.

+ Instant Message to the Columbus Cottonmouths: I finally figured it out Thursday night. That "WCJM" radio station you're advertising along the boards is in Troup County, isn't it?! Do that many more hockey fans live in West Point, as opposed to Columbus?

COMING THIS WEEKEND: Classic Blog, remembering times with our late next-door neighbor....

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

13 JAN 05: MOVING BACK AND FORTH

The Urban League of Columbus officially changed its mind Wednesday. Now President Reginald Pugh WILL support Saturday's Rainbow/PUSH civil rights march. Maybe they worked out an "equal opportunity" agreement -- for marchers to join whichever organization they wish.

The Urban League apparently changed its mind because Jesse Jackson changed his language. You'll recall he called in December for a partial economic boycott of Columbus -- then this week agreed with local officials that it's only a "last resort." I keep waiting for the Visitors Bureau to seize on this, and proclaim Columbus finally is considered a "resort" town.

Reginald Pugh of the Urban League explained his group could not support any boycott which might put Columbus residents out of work. But would that necessarily have to happen? Pugh could join the Chamber of Commerce on business recruiting trips, and make companies so confused that they'll move here anyway.

The change of position by the Urban League also means the Omega Psi Phi fraternity will back Saturday's march as well. Our apologies for connecting this frat with Jesse Jackson the other day; it's actually the house of Kenneth Walker. I couldn't tell most fraternities apart during college, either - they all had wild keg parties.

But Reginald Pugh and Jesse Jackson may not be completely united. WRBL showed a memo from the Urban League President Wednesday night, claiming Rainbow/PUSH is asking groups for around $4,000 to be part of Saturday's march. What's going on here? Does Jesse Jackson HAVE to fly to Columbus in the first-class section?

"Maybe they're going to serve steak and caviar," Reginald Pugh joked about the Rainbow/PUSH request for thousands of dollars to be part of Saturday's march. I have another theory about this - after the game, marchers will head for Atlanta and buy scalpers' tickets to the Falcons playoff game.

(By the way, this never occurred to me before Wednesday night - but why doesn't the Urban League have a branch for African-American farmers? Is the name "Rural League" already taken?)

So Jesse Jackson called for a financial boycott of Columbus, then changed his mind. Now the Urban League has declared its opposition to the Saturday, only to change ITS mind. It's obviously too warm in Columbus - because "flip-flops" are showing up all over the place.

(This may only prove what many women have said all along - about men who can't stay committed.)

In fact, the way all these groups are going back and forth in recent days, by Saturday afternoon the civil rights march downtown will include David Glisson's family....

Did you see the march for David Glisson on Tuesday outside the Government Center? The F.O.G. ("Friends of David Glisson") web site estimates 150 people showed up - and many of them seemed to be Glisson's relatives. I'm more used to family reunions occurring in city parks, with horseshoes and a cookout.

One man standing downtown dared to challenge the signs and demonstrations supporting David Glisson. In fact, at one point Columbus Police discussed whether that man was within his rights to stand on a public sidewalk. They didn't dare take him down with weapons drawn at a time like that....

Tim Delbridge of "Friends of David Glisson" declared Tuesday's protest a success, and his web site claims another one is planned soon. I'm still wondering why they didn't stage one last October - say on Oates Avenue, after Adam Johnson had that collision.

By the way, you'll soon be able to buy a Friends of David Glisson T-shirt for ten dollars. But we can't guarantee it will get you out of a speeding ticket, if you're pulled over on I-185.

One thing all these groups could use, but I'm not sure any would accept, is an essay someone brought to the church congregation I attend last weekend. It's by T.D. Jakes, and urges people to "let go" of past hurts and anger. But that's not how lawyers tend to make big money, is it?

Amidst all this, the "One Columbus" organization will hold a dinner at the Trade Center tonight. It will present honors to people promoting "unity in the community." If attorney Richard Hagler or Rainbow/PUSH's William Howell receives one of these awards, it may be time to move....

If none of the marches in Columbus this week thrill you, we found out Wednesday that Auburn will host a Sugar Bowl victory parade for the football team Saturday afternoon. So the Auburn basketball team isn't shown up, no one will be allowed to throw toilet paper higher than six-and-a-half feet.

For some reason the Ledger-Enquirer hasn't done this, but the Eufaula and Valley newspapers have declared Auburn the 2004 national college football champion. Why those papers failed to do this for John Kerry last November, I have no idea.

Now let's quiet the marching drum beat for some other notes from the last few days:

+ Rep. Mike Rogers visited Phenix City Hall. Mayor Jeff Hardin said he'd ask for money for a new post office, exit ramps from U.S. 80 to the new hospital, grants to develop the riverfront - hey, there's no better way to be responsible with city tax money than have federal tax money pay for everything.

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue presented his "State of the State" address, and mentioned his trip to Fort Benning last week to honor the Third Brigade. So why did he have a guest in the gallery from Fort McPherson? Does he already have enough Muscogee County votes to win reelection next year?

+ The Broadway musical "Miss Saigon" finished a two-night stand at the RiverCenter. If the cast of this show set in 1970's Vietnam didn't do a thing to rebuild the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall, Lonnie Jackson may have them banned.

+ Which area blogger (not me) went to a hospital for a medical procedure - but forgot he took his concealed weapon inside with him? If this were 1905 instead of 2005, it would have been no problem. Doctors would have considered it merely one extra surgical tool.

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

11 JAN 05: FEELING LIKE MARCH

Suddenly it's marching season in Columbus. Supporters of David Glisson plan one today. Civil rights groups plan their own this weekend. And where's that old drum major Dick McMichael, to lead one for retired people?

Let's take the marches in order. "Friends of David Glisson" plan to march outside the Government Center today -- almost exactly one year after William Howell started a civil rights march outside the same building [13 Jan 04]. And we know how well it worked for Rainbow/PUSH....

(This group could be even bolder, you know - but it DID stop short of calling it the "God Bless David Glisson" rally.)

We're not sure exactly how many people will join the Friends of David Glisson march. It may depend on how many ringers can get off work in Sumter and Taylor Counties....

From what I've heard, the march outside the Government Center may last as long as 3:00 p.m. Certainly they'll stop by sundown - so attorney Richard Hagler doesn't lecture the protesters, for not being at home with their children.

The main issue for F.O.G. (Friends of Glisson) right now is getting the fired deputy reinstated to the Muscogee County Sheriff's Department. Let's face it - he'll need to work as many hours as he can, to pay for that $100 million lawsuit against him.

The Friends of David Glisson web site make a claim right now I hadn't heard before - that a "physical fight" broke out when the NAACP elected its new officers the other night. Well, at least no one had a weapon out and stumbled over something....

F.O.G. "Web Administrator" Tim Delbridge says Columbus is being held "hostage" by the attorney for Kenneth Walker's family, as well as several civil rights leaders. Come to think of it, there may be something in common with the hostages taken in Iraq. Former City Manager Carmen Cavezza sort of pleaded for ransom - but voters rejected the one-cent sales tax.

The Friends of David Glisson web site also offers its own spin on the "dashboard camera" videotape, showing the shooting of Kenneth Walker. Which reminds me - is anyone selling that tape on eBay yet?

Anyway, F.O.G. contends David Glisson paused twice and Kenneth Walker was "struggling" before the fatal shot was fired. And what's happened in the 13 months since? Walker's family has paused often - and now Glisson is struggling, at least financially.

Then there's the Saturday march Jesse Jackson has called in downtown Columbus. He announced Monday it will start from the Civic Center at 2:00 p.m. -- allowing all of you to get lunch after watching the Martin Luther King Day parade, before the second half of the doubleheader.

The civil rights march is planned for a route up Veterans Parkway, from the Civic Center to the Government Center. But why not march through the Historic District, up First Avenue? You'd pass my home, the NAACP office -- and the Columbus office of the Urban League, so you can shout insults at the staff.

(No, I don't plan to be home for this march. I attend church on Saturday afternoons, and have to leave before 2:00 p.m. If I drive home and can't find my apartment building, I'll know things got out of hand.)

That's a brewing problem for the Jesse Jackson, Rainbow/PUSH march. Reginald Pugh of the Urban League revealed Monday he's suggesting members NOT join in the weekend protest. There are times when you help your competition, and then....

Reginald Pugh explained to WRBL Jesse Jackson's coming to town for more than the Kenneth Walker case. He supposedly also wants to portray Columbus as a bunch of "country bumpkins." Oh yeah? Then why isn't this march going past some Victory Drive mobile home parks?

(If Jesse Jackson wanted to show up "country bumpkins" around here, he'd find the bums who practically blew up that dog in Russell County with a firecracker....)

Jesse Jackson told a news media teleconference Monday he's coming to Columbus to honor the "nonviolent protest" of Martin Luther King, applying it to the Kenneth Walker case. If you think about it, other people do this sort of thing. Maybe one of these years, Willie Nelson will hold "Farm Aid" in Lumpkin.

An all-star cast may follow Jesse Jackson to Columbus for this weekend's march. TV Judge Greg Mathis says he's coming. WOKS announced the other day Chris Tucker is coming. And we know we're in trouble if Randy Moss shows up....

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION ended Monday morning - and we congratulate WRBL's Jeff Donald. Voters ranked him the best meteorologist in Columbus. Now if he could transplant in Candace Cook's hair....

Our six-day, code-problem-restarted poll found 36 percent of you consider Jeff Donald the best meteorologist. Kurt Schmitz was second with 29 percent, followed by 21 percent for Joshua McKinney and Brian McClure with seven percent. And the seven percent who want Mitzi Oxford - well, I think they go to sports events for the dance teams.

(But what about Bryan Bennett and Darren Stack, who received no votes at all? Should they go take jobs as fortune tellers?)

But we're not finished with Monday musings yet:

+ Residents of the Booker T. Washington apartments held a candlelight vigil for a recent homicide victim - and before it was over, people were dancing to rap music and dropping dollar bills on a memorial display. I get the feeling Presbyterian Churches have not had much impact on this group....

+ Gold's Gym held the kickoff for "Trim Down Columbus" - a project to drop a combined 10,000 pounds. I think 20 percent of that already happened, with the Wardogs football team leaving town.

+ Republicans took control of the Georgia House for the first time since 1870. The new G.O.P. majority includes new Rep. Richard Smith of Columbus - and he should rise rapidly in the ranks, once colleagues see that "Answer Book" he used to show on TV-16.

+ Instant Message to the Muscogee County School District: Did you miss the news last week? The school board has two new members - and they're not on your web site yet. Did Wal-Mart lose your film, the way it once lost mine?

(BLOGGER'S NOTE:> We need to take a blogging break Wednesday for a personal commitment.... but barring something strange, we'll be back.)

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

ERROR REMOVED 13 Jan 05....

10 JAN 05: AT THE PALACE

The grand opening was last Monday, but the official "dedication" of the new Columbus Library occurred over the weekend. It included Cottonmouths hockey players reading to children - which had to be a bit different. In ice hockey, a "checkout" can mean hip-checking your opponent over the boards.

Have you visited the new $50 million library? I went there a few evenings this past week - and you'd think for that much money, they would have installed an escalator to the books on the second floor....

You either have to board a small elevator or walk up a lengthy flight of stairs to reach the library's second floor, which has most of the books and magazines. So if you're going to sit around and read, at least you have to exercise a bit to do it.

From the inside, the Columbus Library reminds me a lot of an old-style college library. There's plenty of open space, there's marble all around - and if the RiverCenter ever has a power outage, the Columbus Symphony can perform in the round in the rotunda.

The staff at the Columbus Library reports circulation system-wide is up since the new building opened. Given the roundness of the rotunda and the second-floor walkway, certainly circling is up....

The Ledger-Enquirer's articles in the last month left the impression the Columbus Library might not open on time - and apparently some finishing work still is underway. I was amazed the staff went ahead and opened it, without any of the nice signs identifying the corporate sponsors.

Several rooms at the new main library have corporate names on them. AFLAC has a room, as does W.C. Bradley. TSYS brings you the "e-commons" area with public access computers. So don't be surprised someday if the parking lot is scattered with JayMaxx car specials.

(Before you ask - no, I don't think W.C. Bradley's section of the library has the Chinese-language books.)

But no signs were on the library's rooms at all for the first couple of days last week. That meant visitors had to walk all around the building, to find what they were after. Who needed to check out a detective novel, when readers were searching for real clues already?

One disappointment I have with the new library is that some of the old books from the Bradley Library are gone. They disappeared in the last year, and I thought they were set aside early for the move. Instead, reference books are lacking in the 200's - you know, the religious books which claim to have all the REAL answers.

Back in the "e-commons" room, there are more than a dozen retro-looking new H.P. computers with flat-screen monitors. But the library system still has things set up so visitors can't "right-click" anything to a diskette. I don't want the information about Jennifer Aniston's break-up - I just want the pictures of her! Really!

(Hmmmm - no right-clicking? Well, libraries DO have a reputation for being ultra-liberal with freedom of speech....)

There seems to be plenty of room for growth in the new library - and that could pose a problem. A friend of mine mentioned the other day Auburn University's Library actually sunk into the ground an inch of so, under the weight of so many books. Well, at least it wasn't because of heavy football players spending all their time there.

All kidding aside, I'm impressed with the new Columbus Library - and it seems to me they did things right. This building will be a great selling point for future business. At least, there still are some rooms available for sponsorship....

E-MAIL UPDATE: A reader in Atlanta (I think) offers more of an explanation on Sunday's topic, about patches showing a "backwards" U.S. flag:

Hello, I didn't know if you had found the real answer to the right to left flag issue, so I'd thought that I'd share what I know. Apparently, it's because when the flag is put the correct way on the solder's shoulder, it makes them look as if they are retreating. They changed it the make it look like they're pushing forward in battle. I know that sounds a little odd, but that's what I remember.

The conversation I had about it was years ago so the details are a little sketchy, but that is the basic ideas. I've been and avid reader of your blog for a while now! I love it!

sincerely,

anne

Thanks for your help, Anne, as well as the nice words. But I'd imagine the military wants to push forward so fast that the enemy never notices the details of that flag patch. They'd rather it be a reddish-blue blur.

Now let's look in all directions for other Sunday topics:

+ The high temperature in Columbus again was around 70 degrees F. - and WRBL reported Brewster's Ice Cream on Whittlesey has much more business, compared with last January. But don't you wonder how many executives at Atmos Energy are losing bonuses?

+ Oxbow Meadows held a "Second Sunday" presentation on coyotes and foxes. Sadly, I've been waiting for a nightclub to have a theme program like this....

+ Pro football's "wild-card weekend" ended with Atlanta scheduled to host St. Louis next Saturday night. Isn't this timing
convenient? St. Louis rap stars such as Nelly can march in Columbus for justice in the morning, then drink themselves silly at the Georgia Dome that evening.

+ In college basketball, my beloved and somewhat injured Kansas Jayhawks won at Kentucky! Can I go ahead and declare Rupp Arena under the Burkard Curse? [17 Oct 04]

(I'm frankly surprised K.U. beat U.K. on the road. When Minnesota's pro football team scores 17 points in eight minutes and Kansas's basketball team only scores 15 points in 15 minutes, that's usually not a good sign.)

+ Instant Message to Swords of Fire International Church: About that "destroy the curse conference" you're having late next week - which member of the Boston Red Sox are you bringing to town as guest speaker?

COMING THIS WEEK: An e-mailer's concern about whether Columbus really is a safe place....

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

9 JAN 05: LEFT? RIGHT? LEFT?

The caller had watched the 6:00 p.m. news, and he was puzzled. "They showed someone on there with a United States flag on, and the stars were in the upper-right corner and the stripes were going to the left." He assumed something was wrong here - unless maybe he was driving, and watched the back-seat TV in his rear-view mirror.

"An upside-down flag is a distress signal," the caller pointed out the other night. "The stars should be in the upper-left corner." So what should I do at a ball game, if I'm looking at the flag from the opposite direction -- run around to the other side?

The man didn't know what to make of the "backward" flag he saw - and he wasn't quite sure what I should do about it, either. "I'm just reporting it," he said. I guess this is why blogs exist. We're more "All Things Considered" than that public radio show.

A quick check online didn't give me a good answer to the "right to left" flag question. But then on Friday, I came upon a couple of Fort Benning soldiers - and wouldn't you know, they had shoulder-patch flags pointing right to left! At least, I assumed these were soldiers. They could have been dishonorably discharged for those flags....

"Excuse me, sir," I asked one of the soldiers. "Someone asked me why your flag is pointing from right to left."

"We're at war," he answered. "The war on terrorism." I would have asked more, but I didn't. That man might have suspected me of trying to learn government secrets.

The question about the flag developed as Fort Benning soldiers began heading back to Iraq. Thousands of G.I.'s and relatives attended a big send-off ceremony Friday at Doughboy Stadium. So did Pillsbury join in, and give everyone biscuit coupons?

Columbus Mayor Bob Poydasheff told the soldiers if they need anything, his number is listed in the phone book. Hopefully he won't mind if the Third Brigade calls him COLLECT from Iraq.

(Uh-oh - has Mayor Poydasheff made that same offer to Columbus police officers?)

Political figures of all kinds attended the Fort Benning sendoff ceremony. Republicans like Governor Sonny Perdue and Mayor Bob Poydasheff were there. So was Democrat Rep. Sanford Bishop. And from the scheduling, it appears Fort Benning didn't expect anyone involved with the NAACP banquet to show up.

Some Fort Benning soldiers received good news Saturday. A settlement was announced with American Amicable Life Insurance Company, requiring it to pay soldiers $1.3 million for misleading them about high-priced policies. The company reportedly called it an "investment plan" - and I suppose the company WILL keep the interest on that money....

Now for other weekend items - and if you haven't checked the 8 January item, please do so to understand why this entry is shortened a bit:

+ The Ledger-Enquirer reported a temporary restraining order was filed against former Marshal Ken Suddeth, for the return of both badges and weapons. Mr. Suddeth said last year he was "answerable only to the voters" - but it appears he lost his hearing around November 2.

+ A new seasonal business opened on South Lumpkin Road called "Sharks and Saints Tax Service." C'mon now - would YOU want to get your taxes prepared at a place with this name? You have a 50-50 chance of getting in big trouble.

+ The Royal Lipizzaner Stallions performed at the Columbus Civic Center. Hopefully no one in the crowd placed bets on which horse would go around the ring fastest.

+ The Atlanta Journal-Constitution web site unveiled its own special page for news about Michael Vick. The Falcons quarterback now has something not given to Governor Perdue, Neal Boortz, any "Dirty South" rap star -- and this truly shows how far Ted Turner has fallen.

+ Instant Message to WEAM Radio: Can we make a deal? I'll send you my Friday afternoon running schedule. You play "Oh Happy Day" at that time. And like this past Friday, you'll keep inspiring me to run farther -- even if people around me wonder why I'm clapping my hands and singing.

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

8 JAN 04: IN MEMORIAM

"A woman asked me, 'Aren't you afraid of riding with him?' And I said, 'No, because when I see that man, I see God." - next-door neighbor Lola Wilson, 1928-2005

Regular blog readers have seen this quote about once a week - but you may have noticed I haven't mentioned my next-door neighbor much lately. Now I sadly must report my neighbor passed away Friday night.

Lola Wilson has lived in the apartment next to mine ever since I moved to Columbus in 1997. That meant I saw her in all sorts of moods:

+ Celebration -- when she'd walk outside in the courtyard singing old gospel songs. She especially liked to do that on her birthday, thanking God in her own way.

+ Talkative - such as at 9:00 in the morning. I might be trying to sleep in, but she'd be on the porch talking loudly to someone standing several apartments away.

+ Angry - because even though she sang gospel songs and went to church wen she could, she could tell you off in language that my late father would find hard to match.

+ Desperate - for money, for instance. It didn't take long after I moved here before she started knocking on my door around the end of the month, needing a loan. (I assume she "made the rounds" of the complex, doing this with everyone.)

Lola would need three to five bucks a month, which she always repaid after her first-of-the-month paycheck came. But there were times when I stunned her by saying no -- especially when I heard her on the porch talking loudly about the Cash Three lottery numbers.

It seemed silly to add a line to my monthly budget saying, "Loan to Lola" - so in early 1999, I surrendered/compromised. I gave her a five-dollar gift. From that point on, if she needed money, she'd reach for that "gift" and then repay it. She didn't ask me for loans after that - but she needed help in other ways.

Lola never seemed to like riding METRA, so she'd get rides from co-workers and relatives to her job and other errands. In the last few years, that task fell on me more and more. When I wasn't working at an office, I "worked" for her -- sometimes three days a week.

Lola would pay for my gas when she could - but often that meant a long wait in the car every month at "The Money Tree" on Macon Road. She had to borrow money some time back to pay for a relative's funeral - so that loan office seemingly wound up with custody of her Social Security check.

Lola Wilson was 76 years old - but for a woman of that age, she had an innocence about her which made her easy material for a blogger like me. I'll never forget her thrill last year at going to Bill Heard Chevrolet for a "$1,000 shopping spree" - only then to see the joy disappear, as she scanned "shopping items" on my computer and didn't see anything she wanted.

Lola Wilson's last years were complicated by the fact that she had to bring up a granddaughter - a girl whose parents were either dead or behind bars (perhaps a little of both; I was never exactly sure). Sad to say, that granddaughter at last report was in jail.
She rebelled as a teenager by running away from home, then angrily spray-paining Lola's apartment walls.

Thanks to "Ms. Lola," I now know the locations of almost every food pantry in Columbus. But I know if the pantry's closed, she somehow has cash tucked deep in her purse to buy some groceries.

For all her quirks, Lola was a reliable neighbor. She watched my apartment and held my mail while I was on vacation. And she even told off a woman on a Sunday night, who came to my back door asking to borrow some butter. Lola somehow knew that wasn't really what the woman wanted....

I'm told high blood pressure and "too much salt" finally killed Lola Wilson. She spent the last few months in declining health, and I hardly ever saw her after my fall vacation to Kentucky. Her brother watched over the apartment - and the music from that apartment has been noticeably louder on weekends since.

(Oh yes - did I mention Ms. Lola is African-American? Sometimes a "One Columbus" movement is waiting right outside your door....)

My evening run tonight was dedicated to "Ms. Lola" - and I'm thrilled to say I went more than two-and-a-half miles non-stop in her honor, including my first trek under 13^th Street on the expanding Phenix City Riverwalk. As I ran, I recalled a song by Christian country singer and preacher Del Way -- which seems perfect for remembering my neighbor:

Her youth renewed like an eagle, in the presence of the Son!
'Cuz when Granny hears that trumpet sound -- one day, Granny's gonna run!

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: We'll share some of our favorite stories of Ms. Lola from the blog. Look for them next weekend, to mark Martin Luther King Day.)

If you've read this far expecting jokes, I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Here are a few, to thank you for your patience:

+ I picked up a calendar at Publix which revealed today (Saturday) is "Bubble Bath Day." In this age of multi-tasking, this still is possible. Simply take a few dirty dishes and dishwashing liquid into the bathtub with you....

+ TV judge Greg Mathis addressed the NAACP annual banquet - and a WOKS announcer said he "stepped on some toes." So? The way he tells off plaintiffs and defendants on television, that may be the only way he knows.

+ Instant Message to the man who called WRCG's "TalkLine" and claimed no one cared about Martin Luther King "until he died": Apparently the Nobel Peace Prize voters did in 1964, Mr. History Channel - and they don't give that award to dead people.

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

7 JAN 05: BADGE OF HONOR?

The first recall notice of 2005 in Columbus was issued Thursday. But it didn't come from local business. And unlike last year, it didn't even come from a disgruntled civil rights group.

The recall announcement came from Muscogee County Marshal Greg Countryman. He wants people to return badges handed out last year by former Marshal Ken Suddeth. We certainly don't want anything to clash with those new Marshal's Department uniforms....

When WRBL reported last year then-Marshal Ken Suddeth bought badges as well as pistols through private fund-raising, I naturally assumed they were for his officers [11 Oct 04]. But Greg Countryman says some badges actually were given to Suddeth's supporters and friends. Now they can play the most realistic "Grand Theft Auto" games ever.

(So did Ken Suddeth hand out pistols to supporters as well? Was he trying to organize a new Southern sport - a professional shooting tour?)

Marshal Greg Countryman says Ken Suddeth handed out at least 143 look-alike badges. I can't help feeling a bit annoyed by this. After all, I posted an exclusive interview with Suddeth just before the election - and I received NOTHING.

Greg Countryman says badges which look like they belong to the Marshal's Department should only be in the hands of "sworn peace officers." So when does his staff plan to raid Toys-R-Us?

Former Marshal Ken Suddeth told "WXTX News at Ten" he gave look-alike badges to "respected citizens who contributed to the community." But today's Ledger-Enquirer reports the badges are as far away as South Carolina. I didn't realize defeated politicians were moving that far out of town.

Marshal Greg Countryman is concerned the look-alike badges could be used for wrong purposes. But Ken Suddeth openly doubts the people who received the badges would do that sort of thing. Maybe they're all too old to want to get inside the Firehouse, for Friday night dancing.

Former Marshal Ken Suddeth adds all the look-alike badges he awarded say "honorary" on them. But the current Marshal says the badges turned in so far do NOT say that. And perhaps even more shocking, they may not even say "Made in South Korea" on them.

These look-alike badges weren't cheap imitations. WXTX reported each one cost $84. Certainly Ken Suddeth could have found paperweights costing less than this....

Meanwhile, how are things at the Muscogee County Sheriff's Office? All quiet for now, it seems - at least until January 15. That's when Jesse Jackson is scheduled to march through town, presumably escorted by Nation of Islam guards.

The Sheriff's Department made news Thursday for a very different reason. Local artist Mark Lucas donated four paintings, to be displayed at the Government Center office. I'm sure the accused criminals visiting this office will appreciate fine art such as this.

The four donated paintings show Sheriff's deputies doing good deeds in the community. One has a deputy holding a door open for a woman. Another has a deputy shaking hands with a soldier. Maybe this will get their minds off the Kenneth Walker videotape, to what a deputy SHOULD do.

(But sadly, so far none of these paintings show the Sheriff visiting a grieving widow at a hospital...)

Now let's step away from the artwork, for other items to close the week:

+ A farewell reception was held at the Trade Center for outgoing Columbus City Manager Carmen Cavezza. Fort Benning's Commanding General presented Cavezza with a medal for civilian service. Take that, Paul Olson - since I doubt you've given him a "good riddance" gift.

+ Retired General Barry McCaffrey visited part of the Third Brigade at Fort Benning. He told WRBL the U.S. military may need to spend two more years in Iraq, after the upcoming election. I'm not sure some G.I.'s have spent two years in THIS country, since the 2000 election.

+ Ticket sales began for this year's St. Jude Dream Home. Mayor Bob Poydasheff wrote a $100 check for the first ticket - stunning some of my friends, who figured the Mayor would have that much cash in his wallet.

(Maybe we should root for Bob Poydasheff to win that $280,000 dream house. If New York can have a nice mayoral mansion, so can Columbus.)

+ Light rain fell on Columbus during the morning - and which TV weathercaster predicted it would come? As best I remember, NONE of them did. It was the strangest "possible fog" I've ever seen in this city.

+ The Columbus Riverdragons did it again, beating Fayetteville for a 12^th consecutive win. And the sports fans of Columbus did it again - as the official attendance at the Civic Center was 642. Maybe they're waiting for Ron Artest to make a guest appearance, and start a brawl.

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© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

6 JAN 05: AT THE HALF

Today marks two years of this blog - and it also marks two years since Bob Poydasheff became Mayor of Columbus. He's halfway through his term and is up for reelection next year, while your blogger is not. And then you wonder why I don't run for public office?!

If you ask me what Bob Poydasheff has done in two years as Mayor, several things come to mind. One is his emphasis on building "One Columbus." Based on the trends in business and construction, the "One" he's talking about seems to stretch from Macon Road to the Harris County line.

To be fair, Mayor Bob Poydasheff's biggest milestone so far may involve the part of town I left out. He's taken South Columbus and turned it into "Columbus South" -- but is this really changing anything? With so many apartments being built for military families, a better name might be "North Fort Benning."

(I guess the mayor's really trying to promote an image change in "Columbus South.". It's much like "Uptown Columbus" -- which is getting so many clubs that it could become "Bottoms Up-town.")

Has Mayor Bob Poydasheff changed anything in Columbus city government? A couple of things come to mind. He let the voters in effect decide whether public safety employees should have a pay raise - and they seemed to be against it, too.

(But there's one obvious change that's developed since Bob Poydasheff replaced Bobby Peters as Mayor. When Mr. Poydasheff shows up with a woman, you know it's his wife.)

Mayor Bob Poydasheff hasn't had an easy task in the last year, overseeing a city divided by the Kenneth Walker case. But he can take comfort in one thing -- the $100 million lawsuit doesn't seem to name him as a defendant.

Mayor Bob Poydasheff stands at a challenging crossroads right now. Friday is City Manager Carmen Cavezza's last day -- and there are two assistants, one African-American and one (if I may) Euro-American. Does the Mayor choose one, and risk alienating half the city? Or does he think outside the Government Center - with Ken Suddeth now out of work three days?

Is there anyone on the horizon, who might challenge Mayor Bob Poydasheff for a second term? I've hinted recently here about a hunch I have, that Councilor Julius Hunter might try for the job. He seems like a moderate voice, compared with Nathan Suber - if only because we hardly ever hear Hunter's voice at all.

Now that we've taken this "halftime break," let's check other items from Wednesday:

+ Lee County Sheriff's officers reported they found a methamphetamine lab in Smiths Station with 25 sticks of dynamite ready to blow up - and a suspect in the case escaped by jet ski on the Chattahoochee River. We finally may have found the perfect script for a "Miami Vice" reunion show.

+ Alabama Attorney General Troy King warned about possible fund-raising scams, connected with the Asian tsunami. My Pastor already was thinking about this last weekend. He said if someone asks you for a donation, say you've already made one - with federal tax dollars.

+ Police were called to the new Columbus Library, because someone reportedly stole ten CD's. How could this happen, in a building with uniformed security guards who act like Secret Service wanna-bes? Perhaps instead of people, the library should have put in shoplifting alarms from an old Columbus Square Mall store.

+ A new Home Depot store opened along U.S. 280 in Phenix City, complete with music by the Central High School marching band. But was this really the right musical choice for a Home Depot? Wasn't anyone available who could play the saw?

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

5 JAN 05: JUST DOING OUR JOBS

Well, well - a report submitted to Columbus Council Tuesday night shows police actually handled the Alniece Peterson collision properly. NOW can the city find some money for a public safety pay increase?

The Georgia State Patrol office in Manchester was asked to review last October's collision on Oates Avenue, which left four-year-old Alniece Peterson badly injured. The findings submitted to Columbus Council actually seem to absolve Adam Johnson of any blame - so the Sheriff's son can apply for a summer internship as a deputy trainee now.

The Georgia State Patrol review concluded young Alniece Peterson was "unsupervised" on October 29, and "ran into the roadway in front of approaching traffic...." This followed a Friday night service at Bethany Worship Center - which leaves you wondering if this church should be more Pentecostal, and let everyone run up and down the aisles.

The Georgia State Patrol decided Alniece Peterson darting onto Oates Avenue was "the only contributing factor in the direct cause of this collision." So Adam Johnson's pickup wasn't to blame after all? To hear some people at the scene talk, you'd think Johnson was practicing for the NASCAR Truck series.

(You may recall people at the scene of the October collision wanted Adam Johnson checked for all sorts of things. Was he driving while drunk? Was he on drugs? Did his father assign him the task of running over potential voters in the Sheriff's election?)

The State Patrol review goes on to say in the Alniece Peterson case, Columbus Police "conducted an accurate and thorough investigation without any prejudice." And here we've been led to believe the only people in town who could do this were running civil rights groups....

(Of course, there's one important thing to keep in mind. This collision occurred on Willie Dozier's final weekend as Columbus Police Chief. Rick Boren took over November 1 - and with a white guy in charge, some officers may feel "liberated" somehow.)

Columbus Mayor Bob Poydasheff did not seem surprised by the outside report on the Alniece Peterson case. He says he knew all along the police did a professional job - even if they sometimes feel like they're paid like rank amateurs.

So an outside investigation has found Columbus Police in the right and Adam Johnson not to blame. Does that mean the new stop signs on Oates Avenue can come down? Or should they be pointed away from the street, and toward church doors?

I somehow have the feeling local civil rights groups will not be satisfied by the Georgia State Patrol's report on the Alniece Peterson case. In fact, Pastor Wayne Baker may give that "new grand jury" he wants some extra work to do....

(How will civil rights groups "spin" this Georgia State Patrol report? Will they call it politics as usual - and somehow claim Governor Sonny Perdue is really as "independent" as Sheriff Ralph Johnson?)

The biggest civil rights group in Columbus had something else to do Tuesday night. The NAACP chose a successor to Edward DuBose. Now now, you cynical blog writers - I don't want to hear anything about the passing of the ceremonial purple suit.

The Columbus NAACP chapter selected current Vice President Bill Madison as its new president. I assume this was done by a vote of the membership. But if touch-screen voting wasn't used, can you really trust these results?

I asked two different people Tuesday night about Bill Madison's background - and I'm saddened to say the word I kept hearing was "slumlord." Certainly Madison doesn't expect renters to pay an extra "tip" to charity every so often....

BLOG UPDATE: Auburn's football team probably felt like unplugging their TV sets Tuesday night. Southern California not only won the Orange Bowl, but blew Oklahoma away 55-19. The only way Auburn will get first-place votes in the coaches' poll is if Tommy Tuberville can give ballots to his assistants.

Southern Cal spotted Oklahoma an early lead, then blew the Sooners out of the Orange Bowl. The Trojans will say they're number one. Auburn will still claim it's number one. And what do you know - we're divided into "red states" and "blue states" all over again.

I heard more than one person grumble Tuesday night that Oklahoma was weak, and Auburn would put up a much better fight against Southern California. How quickly we forget -- only 16 months ago, U.S.C. went to Auburn and made the Tigers look even more wimpy.

Auburn quarterback Jason Campbell tried his best to persuade the public Tuesday, after the Sugar Bowl -- claiming the Tigers beat more teams with nine or ten wins than anyone else. If you didn't know better, you'd think Campbell's major is political science.

When you consider all the unbeaten college football teams, wouldn't a better final showdown really pit Southern Cal against UTAH, instead of Auburn? As much as they scored in their bowls, that clash might last five hours instead of the Orange Bowl's four.

Now to wrap things up with "news, weather, sports and go to bed":

+ Columbus Council held an emotional farewell ceremony for City Manager Carmen Cavezza. Mimi Woodson seemed almost ready to cry, as she talked about calling Cavezza "at 12, one in the morning" asking what she should do. Why she calls the City Manager about her children, I have no idea.

+ Frances Harris of Sylvester issued a statement admitting she was NOT pregnant with twins at age 59 after all. In fact, Harris's son now isn't sure if she ever was expecting at all. Perhaps we can be thankful Harris doesn't go to dog shows, like that accused killer in Kansas City did.

+ In the weather, the high temperature in Columbus again topped 70 degrees F. Put these warm January days together with the government report on the Clean Air Act, and Columbus may be turning into the Los Angeles of the Southeast.

+ And in sports, the head football coach at Pacelli High School resigned to take over "Doctor Phillips High School" in Orlando. How many Muscogee County School Board members would like Dr. John Phillips to join him?

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

4 JAN 05: ADDED SUGAR

Instant Message to Mike Tirico of ABC Sports: Thanks for telling the entire country Tommy Tuberville's home number is listed in the Opelika-Auburn phone book. Now he'll get calls from harassing Alabama and Georgia fans at all hours of the night.

The revelation about Tommy Tuberville's phone number came during the final minutes of Monday night's Sugar Bowl game. I fear the winning coach in tonight's Orange Bowl will look up that number - a place a thank-you call, for making his team's national championship more legitimate.

Auburn nearly blew a 16-point fourth-quarter lead, but held on to beat Virginia Tech 16-13 in the Sugar Bowl at New Orleans. So much for the other team's theory that you can't spell "victory" without V.T.

As you may have noticed while watching the game, Nokia phones sponsored the Sugar Bowl. When you consider the 23-yard field goal Virginia Tech's kicker missed in the second half, Auburn's margin of victory was almost the width of one of those phones.

Field goals actually put Auburn in front in the Sugar Bowl - as John Vaughn's kicking led to a 9-0 halftime lead. It was enough to make Tiger fans change a holiday song and sing: "We, three kicks are better than you...."

Auburn seemed ready to put the Sugar Bowl in the cupboard when Jason Campbell threw a third-quarter touchdown pass to Devin Aromashadu. With a last name like Aromashadu, it's surprising he hasn't left Auburn and enrolled at a school for chefs.

Auburn quarterback Jason Campbell was named the "Most Outstanding Player" at the Sugar Bowl. Would any football player really want to win this title? For the rest of his life, he's known not as an "M-V-P" - but a simple MOP.

Did you see ABC spin Jason Campbell around for one of those "profile" tapes, like he was standing on a turntable? If any defensive lineman in the Southeastern Conference did that to Campbell, he'd get a 15-yard penalty for roughing the passer.

"Who is that goober?" someone asked me during the Sugar Bowl. He was referring to one of the announcers -- and I had to patiently explain that voice belonged to the man who used to be Auburn's head football coach....

Was ABC Sports trying to provoke something, by putting Terry Bowden in the broadcast booth for Auburn's big bowl game? If that was the network's goal, it didn't work -- as not one Auburn trustee ran down to the sideline, demanding a coaching replacement.

Terry Bowden declared Auburn is below other undefeated college football teams because of its non-conference schedule. The Tigers played Louisiana Tech and Louisiana-Monroe at home -- and let's face it, they keep dodging a showdown with Troy.

Someone complained to me Monday night that ABC Sports's telecast of the Sugar Bowl was out of sync, with the audio ahead of the video by "two syllables." Well, maybe it wasn't the network. Perhaps the coaches and broadcasters talk faster than their mouths can move.

(I'm told the audio-video problem was especially noticeable for people who watched the Sugar Bowl on "high definition" TV's. The strange thing is, people who watch games with closed captioning never complain about this....)

Another question I was asked during the Sugar Bowl concerned the Virginia Tech mascot. "What is a Hokie?" a man wanted to know. To be honest, the explanation I read for this seemed like a bunch of Hokum....

One Virginia Tech fan says way back in 1892, someone writing a school cheer started with the words, "Hokie Hokie Hokie Hi" - and somehow the name stuck. There actually is a modern-day parallel to this. The group 'N Sync sang "Bye Bye Bye" - and hasn't recorded an album together since.

(I'm old enough to remember when Virginia Tech's teams were nicknamed the Gobblers - but who would want to go to college with a bunch of turkeys?)

As the Sugar Bowl concluded, Terry Bowden admitted he's finally ready for a playoff to decide the college football champion. Before Auburn fans say "amen" to that comment, consider this - Utah scored more points in its bowl game, gave up fewer points, and they're still unbeaten as well.

In the pre-game hype before the Sugar Bowl, Coach Tommy Tuberville tried to downplay the playoff talk. He told reporters college football has a "mythical national championship." So remember, you Oklahoma and Southern California fans - our national title is just as mythical as yours is.

By the way, did you see Tommy Tuberville's son Tucker on the sidelines during the Sugar Bowl? Not only that, apparently the Auburn coach took his mother to New Orleans for the game. I think I'm getting it now - Tuberville wants to be Bob Riley's running mate next year.

The Auburn crowd in New Orleans included former Phenix City Mayor Sonny Coulter. But I doubt any of the Russell County Commissioners attended the game - because Judge Al Howard might have tried to kick them out of office while they were gone.

Now let's put down our pompons for some other Monday highlights:
+ Columbus Police reported a couple was arrested on New Year's Day for lying on a blanket in Flat Rock Park - and (ahem) making love! [True/WDAK] Well, this IS a different kind of tradition from the "Polar Bear Club...."

+ The new Columbus Library opened on Macon Road, with more than 3,000 people visiting on the first day. But all the cars packing the parking lot begged an obvious question -- why isn't there a drive-through checkout lane?

+ Robbie Watson returned to WRCG's "TalkLine" from maternity leave, and promised she'll never take her new baby boy to Bourbon Street in New Orleans. Uh-oh - does this mean Broadway clubs are becoming almost as wild and eye-popping?

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION has been reset and is starting from scratch - and here's the reason why. Someone alerted us Monday that two different questions might appear on your screen, based on whether one letter in the web address is capitalized or not. I've seen criminal defense attorneys less "case-sensitive" than this....

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.