16 FEB 09: Take Me to Your Leaders

Happy Presidents' Day to you. I had to check a calendar to make sure I put the apostrophe in the right place. We're celebrating more than one President today - but of course, some Democrats have been celebrating one particular President non-stop for about a month.

We mentioned recently that a Russell County Commissioner has proposed renaming Broad Street in Phenix City "Barack Obama Parkway." Ronnie Reed may not realize what sort of local precedent this would set. For one thing, Russell County hasn't gotten around to naming anything after Don Siegelman....

Have you ever tried searching around the Columbus area for tributes to our U.S. presidents? I did several years ago, and was stunned to find there aren't very many. For instance, you're more likely to find signs in Columbus mentioning Ben Carter than Jimmy Carter - as in the company overseeing Columbus Park Crossing.

I've lived in cities where the street map can be a refresher course to the order of our early presidents. There's Washington Street, followed by Adams and Jefferson and Madison and so on. Streets with those names are short and scattered in Columbus - and I somehow suspect Adams Park Drive isn't named after either John or John Quincy.

In fact, a check of Google Maps finds the names of Presidents James Madison, James Monroe and James Polk still are available for the taking in Columbus. So is William McKinley - and I think it's a safe name to use, since he was President after the Civil War ended.

That could well be the reason why you don't see more streets named after U.S. Presidents in Columbus. This is the "Center of the Sunbelt South," after all -- an area where Lee County and Lee Roads dominate. It's an area where someone mentioning "Jefferson" is still more likely to hear "Davis" in response....

A review of the Columbus city map in the Yellowbook directory shows one recently-built subdivision may have attempted to correct this. It extends from Northstar Drive to the Fort Benning boundary. You'll find Cleveland Street, Eisenhower Avenue, Jefferson Drive, Kennedy Street - and "Pierson Drive" may be there because a Canadian native moved in.

Not even Muscogee County schools have done much to honor our presidents. The only one with a presidential name is Johnson Elementary, but it was named for former school board member Nunnally Johnson. I can't wait to see the creation of a district-wide "Fife Whiteside and Drum Corps."

The Fort Benning schools run by the Army aren't much better. Only one out of seven schools has a presidential name - and it's not Woodrow Wilson Elementary, but Private First Class Richard Wilson. Imagine what might happen if someone suggests naming a new "base realignment" school after former President Clinton....

Strange as it may seem, you're more likely to find a school in the Columbus area named after the "Virgin Mary" than George Washington. People moving here from faraway places might conclude Catholic missionaries founded the city, only to be overrun by Southern Baptists.

So if you're looking for a good way to celebrate Presidents' Day, your best option may be a drive to the Jimmy Carter National Historic Site in Plains. While Columbus is closing schools, this is NOT a holiday for city workers - or even for 12-month school employees. The only celebration they'll have is a trip to Presidents' Day sales on their lunch hours.

Now for some quick notes from Sunday's "national holiday of the South" - which as we all know was the running of the Daytona 500:

+ Columbus Police reported a shooting on Buena Vista Road. The location was described as a house, "which turns into a nightclub on the weekends." I can think of some college fraternity houses which fit that description much better....

+ The Ledger-Enquirer reported Rabbi Thomas Friedman will retire from Temple Israel in August, and leave the ministry. He's certainly giving plenty of notice - and sacrificing a potentially fun summer of "Borscht belt" theater in the Catskills.

+ The Georgia State Board of Funeral Service fined Leonard's Funeral Home in Talbotton $200. Part of the fine was for not attaching an identification tag to a dead body. It's probably still wrong to take the old Doctors Hospital approach, and identify the body with a blue marker pen.

+ Instant Message to my family: Mom's old bright yellow Sunbeam hand mixer finally may have died the other day. I was mixing batter to prepare a luscious chocolate chip pound cake for a church dinner, when I smelled something unusual - which could explain the cake's smoked flavor.

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